Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own the OC or anything for that matter.
Author's Note: Since a lot of characters on TV shows have been going off to Paris lately (Rachel on Friends, Lana on Smallville) , I thought I'd have Summer do the same in this story. Also, in this chapter, everything comes full circle from the first chapter--just like the season finale sort of, we're in an airport again, but this time leaving NY. And there's another U2 song in this chapter! There are probably only two chapters left in this story, so please enjoy and leave feedback for me. Thanks for reading…
One
Chapter 22: All that you can't leave behind
"We're going to miss you so much, Summer!"
"Thanks, I'm going to miss you all too!" It was her last day at work. It was so strange, turning in her last article for the magazine ever, "How to have the perfect wedding…" There were pictures that were taken at Ryan and Marissa's wedding. Everyone commended her on the article, it was a perfect way to end her run at Skin Deep. Tonight she was leaving for Paris. She was excited and anxious, but at the same time scared out of her mind. There was so much uncertainty. New surroundings, new people. The Paris fashion scene was very different and more unforgiving than the New York one. And she had never actually lived out of the country before. She smiled at the thought as Katie brought her another gift.
"This one is from Tom from the clothes department." Summer opened the large box and beheld the cutest traveling outfit she had ever seen. A Hermes scarf, Chanel sunglasses, a daring Cavalli top, Tocca pants, a Hogan tote bag, and Manolo Blahnik mules.
"Wow, Tom, you didn't have to!"
"Well, you have to make your Charles De Gaulle debut in the highest style."
"Thank you so much. Thank you to everyone, I really hope that the people in the Paris office will be as fun and as generous a bunch as you all are, because I couldn't have picked a better group of individuals to work with for these past 3 years. Thanks so much." She got teary as the group came and gave their last hugs and gave their well wishes. But now she was almost on her way.
"Summer, wait," she turned around and saw Katie, shyly holding a small package, "this is a little something from me. Kind of my way of saying thanks for being such a great boss and being so patient with me. Good luck!" some tears began to fall, but she tried to brush them away.
"Aww, it's okay, Katie. Thank you for being so patient with me! You've been so great, and I know you're going to have a great career at Skin Deep. Thanks so much for this, should I open it now?"
"NO! I mean, no. You have to promise me that you'll open it as soon as you get on the plane."
"Hmm, okay. So it's something I can use for my flight. Cool, thanks again. I gotta get going though, I have to do so many things before I leave tonight, it's ridiculous."
"Okay, bye Summer, good luck and don't forget to call us and tell us about your exciting life."
"I won't forget, good luck to you too. Bye, Katie." Katie waved at her former employer and marveled at the change that Summer had undergone in the last few months. Just a short while ago, she had been impatient and harsh with everyone, but ever since she had come back from that wedding, she had been so much more kind and warm with everyone.
---
Summer gathered up her things and looked at her empty apartment. Everything was gone. It was now just a shell. She had given Kenji to Marissa; there was no way she could raise a dog and herself in the tiny apartment that she had found in France. It wasn't fair to him. Marissa called with daily updates of Kenji and Ryan's escapades. Apparently, Ryan was scared of dogs, especially little ones that really could do no harm. Most of her things had been shipped to Paris or back home to Newport. She smiled and turned off the lights, walking down to the lobby where a cab was already waiting for her. "Goodbye New York."
---
She sat in the waiting area, looking at the different people waiting with her. There were mostly tourists, going back home to Europe. A few business people and families going on vacation. A couple sat a few feet from her, kissing and holding hands. They must have just been married and were probably going on their honeymoon. He whispered something in her ear and she giggled sweetly. They were in love. It was obvious to everyone. Summer sighed and walked over to the gift shop. She hovered around the fashion magazines, picking out a few for her long plane ride. She stopped when she reached the entertainment magazines. Rolling Stone. He was on the cover, the caption read TV's New Wunderkid: Luckiest Loser on the Planet. Her fingers lingered over the cover as she mulled over the decision to pick it up or not.
Not.
She had to leave him behind. He would not ruin this for her. Pre-boarding for her flight was called over the PA system, so she quickly paid for the magazines and ran back to the gate. It was time to leave it all behind.
---
Sitting on the plane, Summer dreamily gazed out of her window at all the lights that were fading out behind her. New York City was so beautiful at night.
"We have reached an altitude where portable electronic devices such as CD players and laptops can be used." Summer reached into her bag and felt around for her iPOD so she could listen to the perfect album for this occasion: U2's All that you can't leave behind. Instead she found the package that Katie had given her earlier. She unwrapped the plainly wrapped package to find a CD marked Summer, please watch this: Walk On.
She took out her personal DVD player and slipped the disc in. For the first few seconds the screen was blank, but eventually, a southern California beach scene appeared. Seth walked out on the beach and sat down in the sand.
"Hi Summer. I don't want you to be mad that I did this, especially not at Katie. She didn't have anything to do with it. I just wanted to clear some things up before you left. First, I want to apologize for ever hurting you. I have always had so much respect and love for you, but I was stupid and foolish and I deserve to be called every profanity, every bad name in the book for treating you like I did. I'm also sorry for the way I acted during the wedding. I put you in a difficult position and I'm sorry about that. However, I do not regret kissing you. I never have regretted any show of affection towards you. I just wanted to feel you one last time before I lost you forever. I know that you are starting your new life and that this life does not include me in it, but I will never forget you and the impact that you have had on my life. You were everything to me, you're the reason I've done so well for myself. Everything we've been through, it doesn't matter to me. So, I hope that one day you can forgive me. Before you came to me, I was a worthless loser who had no reason for anyone to even pay attention to him. When we were together, I was the best person I could be. Everyone was right and perfect. When you left me, I became this angry, drunk loser who was petulant and an asshole. But when you came back, your presence changed me for the better again. This sounds like rambling, but the point is : you will always make me better than I deserve to be. It has always been you.
But, you can deny me now. But I will not deny you because for me, you've always been undeniable. I know that I've lost you, so this will be the last time I try to contact you. The Seth and Summer book is done and is closing for good. I never intentionally wanted to hurt you, but feelings got in the way. I'll stop writing about you and me, and if you want me to, I will finally let you go. But I will always keep you in my heart. And I will never love anyone as much as I love you. Good luck. I love you."
Summer wiped the tears off her face and she tried not to cry too loudly. The reality struck her hard. She was free from him. He would no longer bother her or try to reconcile. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? Maybe not. She loved him more than anything in the world. And even though they had both gone out of their way to hurt each other, she didn't care. Their pride got in the way of happiness so many times, and this time was no different. Except for the fact that there would be no more chances. It was all said and done. Seth and Summer were nonexistent. He had let go. Now it was her turn. She sobbed and dabbed her Hermes scarf on her face, not caring if she wrecked the thousand dollar creation. Tinkly music began to play as his show started up on the screen.
---
Jamie stepped off the airplane, her tear streaked face illuminated by dull glow of the gate tunnel's lights. She clutched the letter that Sam had sent to her pouring out all of his feelings. The letter that told her that he was over her and that he was letting go. But it was time for a change. It was summertime and she was far away from home, visiting her grandparents. She could forget about him over the next few months, and maybe even find someone else. Who was she kidding herself? She couldn't find anyone else that made her feel the way Sam did. They were meant to be, but she realized this too late. He was already gone. He had told her that he loved her, and she had rejected him just to realize that she loved him as well. She walked towards the light of the airport at the end of the tunnel. Curly brown hair. Polo shirt. It couldn't be.
He waited outside of her gate with an expectant smile on his face. He didn't know what to feel. He knew he was taking a big chance, but for Jamie everything was worth it. He would fall to the ends of the earth to be with her. She stood perfectly still, not knowing what to do. The man behind her grunted past. "Sam?" she whispered afraid that the oasis like image would disappear in front of her. He smiled more widely and held out his arms to her.
She dropped her bags and ran to where he was standing, ending up in his arms, kissing him deeply. "But the letter. You said you were letting go." She kissed him again softly. He broke the kiss and whispered, "Jamie, I love you. I would never let you go." He looked down at her, waiting patiently for an answer. Strong, sentimental guitar chords deepened the emotion of the scene. As Bono's deep, throaty voice floated out to Summer's ears, the flood of her eyes began once again.
And love…
It's not the easy thing
The only baggage
That you can bring
Not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
Before the second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on
Walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on
Walk on
Stay safe tonight
You're packing a suitcase for a place
None of us has been
A place that has to be believed
To be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird
In an open cage
Who will only fly
Only fly for freedom
Walk on
Walk on
What you got
You can't deny it
Can't sell it or buy it
Walk on
Walk on
Stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on
Walk on
Home
Hard to know what it is
If you never had one
Home
I can't say where it is
But I know I'm going
Home
That's where the hurt is
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you care
It's only time
And I'll never fill up all my mind
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
And all that you scheme
All you create
All that you wreck
All that you hate
"I love you too, Sam." The screen faded to black.
Watching the episode gave Summer renewed hope. Maybe things would turn out alright for them. Life could imitate art, hopefully. She settled into a deep sleep, hoping that when she awoke, she would be in Paris, and Seth would be there waiting for her.
Walk On by U2