Thank you so much for the reviews. As a beginning writer, I never understood the importance of getting feedback. Not that this is the only reason I write. But it does help;). Even if you don't respond, I hope you enjoy th story as much as I enjoyed writing it. In case you're wondering about the R rating. I reserved it for future chapters that may, how can I say this, get a little physical. Anyway....on with the story.
A lone tear trickled its way down Mac's cheek. Great. This is exactly what I need right now. Of all the songs to come on at this precise moment, this had to be the one. Although there was something different about this song. It seemed to be calling her. Trying to make a connection to her heart to help her realize what she needed to do.
Mac tried to make the tears subside, but it was no use. The dam was cracking once again.
Damn him for making me feel this way! And damn this song!
Mac was about to change the station when a voice called out to her, telling her not to change the station. There was a reason this song was on.. Mac began thinking about the words of the song, and that's when it hit her.
This is exactly how I feel right now. I didn't want to be alone tonight. I wanted to finally face my feelings for Harm. I wanted him to see past this tough-as-nails front and see the real me. Not Mac the marine, but Sarah the woman who loves him. But what does he do!? He rejects me yet again. What the hell does "Not yet" mean? How much longer am I suppose to wait? I was hoping that allowing my defenses to go down he would let his down too. I guess I was wrong, maybe I'm just not good enough for him.
Frustrated and defeated, Mac made her way back to the hotel. It seemed that there was no resolution to this debacle. Her emotions were like a roller coaster when it came to him. He could make her so mad that she would want to kick his six all the way to Mars. But there were times that all he had to do was flash that flyboy smile of his, and her heart would melt. Indecisiveness swept through Mac like a tornado. Her mind and her heart torn between wanting this man, and deciding if she should set him free.
Little did she know, Harm was on his own emotional roller coaster.
Harm sighed as he heard the song. He hadn't heard this song in such a long time. As he listened to the song, her replayed the events of the night in his head.
I hurt her again. It seems all I do is hurt her. All I needed to do was open my heart to her, but I couldn't. Why does she scare me so much? My God, I remember the look on her fact tonight. It reminded me of the day I lift to go back flying. I just wanted to hold her forever, and take away all her tear. You weren't the only one who couldn't find the words, Sarah. I wanted so much to tell you how I felt, but I didn't want it to be a one-night stand. When we decide to take that next step in our relationship ('if that's what you want to call it' the little voiced quipped), I want it to be forever. I want to wake up with you in my arms for all eternity.
Running his fingers through his hair, Harm came to a conclusion.
I can't keep doing this to her! She deserves to know how I feel!
As Harm was pondering what to do next, the song continued to weave it's way into their hearts, into their very soul.
I can't even count the number of times he has come to my rescue. The first time I can recall was when those poachers were chasing us. I remember the look on Harm's face when I was shot. It looked like he was the one wounded, not me. I honestly think if he could have taken the pain away that day, he would have done it in a heartbeat. I had to laugh afterwards when I thought of his little speech about women in combat. Hell, I'm are in combat everyday. Not like I run around with an M16 strapped to my shoulder, but I fight everyday to prove myself worthy to wear my uniform. I worked damn hard to get here too.
There were other times he has saved my ass. I mean, he was there for me during my article 32 when everyone else thought I was guilty. He refused to think I could have murdered Chris. To make matters worse, he didn't even know about the affair I had with Farrow. I can still see the hurt in his eyes when he found out. Yet, he still stood by me. He definitely saved my six that day.
Then there was the time he was there for me when I fell off the wagon. Not one of my finer moments if I do say so myself. I can't believe I said those things to him. I'm glad he had the courage to walk away when he did. I never thought I could be so mean to him. I guess it's true what they say. You only hurt the ones you love.
At night, when I'm alone, I see her. She truly is my angel, my marine, my Sarah. She has always been my guardian angel. She has saved me from myself so many times. I remember when she followed me to Russia. My father has always been an obsession for me. I needed to know what happened to him, and Mac was there for me. She knew I wasn't going to give up until I found out if he was dead or alive, and she stood by me. She protected me from myself. I always feel safe when I'm with her.
'If that's true, why are you so determined to push her away.' The little voice sniped.
"Oh what am I going to do!?" Harm said exasperated.
Well here is the next installment. There a lot more where it came from too:)