Authors note: The one thing that really annoys me about LOTR humour
fanfic's are Mary-Sues (where the girl to steal the character's heart is
based on the author.twitching.) and slash.(okay some are funny, but we all
get seriously sic of Merry/Pippin pairings) so of course I have to add to
the turmoil by creating yet another Mary Sue saga. (no I am not the Mary
Sue thankgod)
Yes it's a parody.. but in DISGUISE! Ba Ba BAAAAAAAAAA! Well sort of..the
sappiness has been done on purpose.and its supposed to be funny.And I know
I also seem to pay out Legolas in my fics but he is just so easy.I mean he
does ask for it.but I do like legolas although there is a lot of legolas
bashing. So just bear with me on this.PLEASE REVIEW! I LOVE GETTING
REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!! (
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One more thing, this is supposed to be corny and tryhard, so I guess you'd have to have my sense of humour to find it funny.WARNING.it will make you cringe.
The one person Legolas was looking for was someone to spend his immortal life with. Someone special. Aragorn had Arwen, Sam had Rosie, Faramir had Eowyn. But lo! Was there no-one for Legolas Greenleaf Prince of Mirkwood? Surely such a fate would not be withheld for a being so pure?
Many moments Legolas had spent pondering over this unearthly punishment. It seemed unjust. Surely by now one should hast found that special being, that special soul in which to share many moments of fear, joy and laughter and sorrow. After all, he was over three thousand years old. When will this person show herself to him?
But perhaps to the ignorance of Legolas's many pondering thoughts, this person may not be of the same race. Maybe she will be other than one of the graceful elves of Mirkwood and Rivendell. Maybe she will not even be an elf altogether. Legolas had never even thought that perhaps this one soul might be one of the races of men. It had happened to Arwen, her love being Aragorn son of Arathorn King of Gondor. Yet this possibility has never even crossed the Elf Princes mind. And maybe this was the reason he had spent his days walking among the forest alone.
Possibly the girl destiny had provided to Legolas was the particular girl mentioned in this tale of woe, treachery and love. Or perhaps not. But one thing to be sure, she was the closest thing that Legolas ever came to true happiness.
* * * *
They met on a Sunny day just outside Rivendell. The sunlight dappled through the trees leaving spots of sun and shade, a ready choice to ones desire. Birds sang in their sweet tongues, which only they could understand. It was a beautiful day.
Legolas was following a path down to a small stream, which he enjoyed relaxing by on days like this. He followed the chattering sound the brook made as the water spilt over its pebbles, but then perked up his ears. Hark! A beautiful sound was floating around through the air, weightless and carefree. Someone was singing, someone who had a beautiful voice, like the tinkling of bells. Legolas peered through the ferns and squinted, for the brook cast a bright glare of the sun that bounced up and met his eyes. Because of this, he could only see the figures silhouette, but this was enough for the lonely elf to get his first impression.
The girl was sitting on a log that stretched over the stream. Her long slender figure was in a relaxed poise and was covered by what seemed to be just a single sheet wrapped around several times and clipped with a tatty fastener. The breeze caressed he long brown hair, spun in perfect ringlets.
Legolas stood there, completely confounded by this beauty. Why had he never seen her before? What was she doing here? And more importantly.who is she?
He had paused a moment to long. The girl stopped singing, her last note choking and ending ever so suddenly. She subconsciously raised the back of her hand to her forehead as if to salute, Alas! She let out a small weak cry and seemed to faint. Her torso seemed to suddenly weaken as though completely giving up and she slid of the log, landing in the brook face down.
Legolas gave a surprised cry and sprang out of the bushes. The fair maiden could drown; face down unconscious, in water. He darted over the rocks, not caring he was completely soaking his boots. There were more important things to worry about.
He reached her and rolled her over. He slid one arm under her neck and the other around her waist and picked her up. He then set her down next to the stream on a soft path of small grass, covered in budding daisies. He brushed her now wet curls out of her face and studied her. She had pale skin; the colour of freshly fallen snow covering her square cut face and jaw line with defined features. Her nose was small relatively pointy and her mouth was small, and blood red.
She blinked several times and gave a dainty cough, which matched her sweet flawless voice. She then opened her eyes, each a large circle of character, a deep violet colour. Yes violet, and Legolas knew that is not a common colour of the elves. Then it dawned on Legolas. She was not an elf, but a human. But then, nay, humans do not have eyes of deep violet either. But the rest of her features proved she was human.
'Who, pray tell are you?' Legolas asked once she had regained full consciousness although she was still lying down where he left her.
'You saved my life, dear elf, I am forever in your debt.' She managed to mutter, her voice a little raspy, but the sweet natural tone very obvious behind the suffering.
'Not at all, all debt hath been repaid if you would give me your name. I would be Legolas, Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood. And who might you be?'
'My name is that of a tongue I cannot reveal.'
'Why does one be so secretive?'
'Why is one so interested?'
The Elf slunk back defeated. Then he attacked forth once more, in desperation.
'I beg of you, a name, for you have knowledge of mine.'
The beautiful girl sighed, looking extremely sad. The love struck Elf could only think how beautiful she looked when she was upset.
'The only name I may leave with you is Mary.now I fear I must leave.' She got up but Legolas grabbed her arm.
'Please, may I see you again? I wouldst die a thousand deaths if you just leave me here.'
'I-I must go!' And with that, she tore her arm from his grip and fled into the nearby forest, leaving our prince feeling very forlorn. Never before had he ever felt this way about a person.
It was final, he had to find her, and he had to see her again. He had to find the human with the beautiful long hair, with the snow-white skin, the rose red lips, and the voice that would spread envy among angels themselves.
He loved her, he loved "Mary."
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HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! How corny is it? Ah, well, I suppose that is the point isn't it? Will Master Greenleaf ever find his true love again.? I'll write more if I get some reviews for this, I love reviews! Please review! (((
One more thing, this is supposed to be corny and tryhard, so I guess you'd have to have my sense of humour to find it funny.WARNING.it will make you cringe.
The one person Legolas was looking for was someone to spend his immortal life with. Someone special. Aragorn had Arwen, Sam had Rosie, Faramir had Eowyn. But lo! Was there no-one for Legolas Greenleaf Prince of Mirkwood? Surely such a fate would not be withheld for a being so pure?
Many moments Legolas had spent pondering over this unearthly punishment. It seemed unjust. Surely by now one should hast found that special being, that special soul in which to share many moments of fear, joy and laughter and sorrow. After all, he was over three thousand years old. When will this person show herself to him?
But perhaps to the ignorance of Legolas's many pondering thoughts, this person may not be of the same race. Maybe she will be other than one of the graceful elves of Mirkwood and Rivendell. Maybe she will not even be an elf altogether. Legolas had never even thought that perhaps this one soul might be one of the races of men. It had happened to Arwen, her love being Aragorn son of Arathorn King of Gondor. Yet this possibility has never even crossed the Elf Princes mind. And maybe this was the reason he had spent his days walking among the forest alone.
Possibly the girl destiny had provided to Legolas was the particular girl mentioned in this tale of woe, treachery and love. Or perhaps not. But one thing to be sure, she was the closest thing that Legolas ever came to true happiness.
* * * *
They met on a Sunny day just outside Rivendell. The sunlight dappled through the trees leaving spots of sun and shade, a ready choice to ones desire. Birds sang in their sweet tongues, which only they could understand. It was a beautiful day.
Legolas was following a path down to a small stream, which he enjoyed relaxing by on days like this. He followed the chattering sound the brook made as the water spilt over its pebbles, but then perked up his ears. Hark! A beautiful sound was floating around through the air, weightless and carefree. Someone was singing, someone who had a beautiful voice, like the tinkling of bells. Legolas peered through the ferns and squinted, for the brook cast a bright glare of the sun that bounced up and met his eyes. Because of this, he could only see the figures silhouette, but this was enough for the lonely elf to get his first impression.
The girl was sitting on a log that stretched over the stream. Her long slender figure was in a relaxed poise and was covered by what seemed to be just a single sheet wrapped around several times and clipped with a tatty fastener. The breeze caressed he long brown hair, spun in perfect ringlets.
Legolas stood there, completely confounded by this beauty. Why had he never seen her before? What was she doing here? And more importantly.who is she?
He had paused a moment to long. The girl stopped singing, her last note choking and ending ever so suddenly. She subconsciously raised the back of her hand to her forehead as if to salute, Alas! She let out a small weak cry and seemed to faint. Her torso seemed to suddenly weaken as though completely giving up and she slid of the log, landing in the brook face down.
Legolas gave a surprised cry and sprang out of the bushes. The fair maiden could drown; face down unconscious, in water. He darted over the rocks, not caring he was completely soaking his boots. There were more important things to worry about.
He reached her and rolled her over. He slid one arm under her neck and the other around her waist and picked her up. He then set her down next to the stream on a soft path of small grass, covered in budding daisies. He brushed her now wet curls out of her face and studied her. She had pale skin; the colour of freshly fallen snow covering her square cut face and jaw line with defined features. Her nose was small relatively pointy and her mouth was small, and blood red.
She blinked several times and gave a dainty cough, which matched her sweet flawless voice. She then opened her eyes, each a large circle of character, a deep violet colour. Yes violet, and Legolas knew that is not a common colour of the elves. Then it dawned on Legolas. She was not an elf, but a human. But then, nay, humans do not have eyes of deep violet either. But the rest of her features proved she was human.
'Who, pray tell are you?' Legolas asked once she had regained full consciousness although she was still lying down where he left her.
'You saved my life, dear elf, I am forever in your debt.' She managed to mutter, her voice a little raspy, but the sweet natural tone very obvious behind the suffering.
'Not at all, all debt hath been repaid if you would give me your name. I would be Legolas, Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood. And who might you be?'
'My name is that of a tongue I cannot reveal.'
'Why does one be so secretive?'
'Why is one so interested?'
The Elf slunk back defeated. Then he attacked forth once more, in desperation.
'I beg of you, a name, for you have knowledge of mine.'
The beautiful girl sighed, looking extremely sad. The love struck Elf could only think how beautiful she looked when she was upset.
'The only name I may leave with you is Mary.now I fear I must leave.' She got up but Legolas grabbed her arm.
'Please, may I see you again? I wouldst die a thousand deaths if you just leave me here.'
'I-I must go!' And with that, she tore her arm from his grip and fled into the nearby forest, leaving our prince feeling very forlorn. Never before had he ever felt this way about a person.
It was final, he had to find her, and he had to see her again. He had to find the human with the beautiful long hair, with the snow-white skin, the rose red lips, and the voice that would spread envy among angels themselves.
He loved her, he loved "Mary."
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HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! How corny is it? Ah, well, I suppose that is the point isn't it? Will Master Greenleaf ever find his true love again.? I'll write more if I get some reviews for this, I love reviews! Please review! (((