Disclaimer: I don't own anathing so…just telling ya for future notice.
" And we're back here at Survivor: Middle Earth about to set our teams out on the adventure of a lifetime. Are we ready??" Teams look at Manwë and nervously nod. " Ready? Set? Don't go!" Manwë shouts as Frodo is knocked off the side of the boat, flapping for his life. " He, he just kiddin' with ya, good ol' joke of mine, works every time, aw, that was priceless- GO!" Everyone is caught by surprise as the Calmindon team jumps off at once flipping the boat. Finally the Cabed Naeramarth team situates itself and with Pippin hanging on to a box for dear life, they started off. Camera goes to a soaking wet Manwë.
" And they're off on the adventure of a lifetime." Eerie music plays in the background as we zoom in on the Calmindon team headed to the left of the pointed island.
" Damn water, I've avoided taking a bath this long, and this just ruins it." Gimli mumbles as he drags an unconscious Frodo after him.
" Hey? He's not on our team!!!" A soaking wet, and extremely unhappy Galadriel yells pointing at Gimli.
" What are you talking about?? Of course I am!!" Gimli looks around slowly as the team stops altogether. " Oh shit, I'm not! Hey- hey guys! Wait up!!!" Gimli says as he swims off in the other direction leaving Frodo's body. Seconds later Frodo starts to sink and Legolas has to swim over and grab him since Saruman who is closer is watching Frodo with a strange gleam in his eye. The team swims on until they reach the shore. Arwen, who has been dubbed map person, looks at an upside down map and points to the right. Frodo has finally regained consciousness and is shakily walking behind them. About a half an hour later they see someone in front of them.
" Who is that? It looks like…like Gimli… Arwen are we going the right way?" Legolas asks looking at a confuzzled Arwen who is looking at the map and turns it right side up.
"Oh- My- God- the map…It so totally goes the other way!!" Arwen says flipping her hair over her shoulder and giggling. Everyone gives her the evil eye except Frodo who is staring squinty- eyed ahead.
" I don't see anything……… I can smell Gimli- but I can't see him anywhere." Frodo shades his eyes and looks harder yet he still sees nothing but trees and an increasingly barren land.
" He's about a mile ahead with the rest of his tribe- but that doesn't matter. We have to go ALL THE WAY BACK because DUM DUM here decided to be a ditzy blond!!!!!! About- Face!" Legolas sneers as the whole Calmindon tribe turns around and marches back towards their side of the island. Rewinding back to when the Cabed Naeramarth team was flipped over and finally on their way- Elrond decided to play a clever joke and tell Gimli to go to the right with the other tribe. He was hoping that they would rid themselves of the stench for a while. After about ten minutes of swimming, having the elven ears he had- he heard a frantic, "wait! Wait up you guys!!" from far away. Slowly but surely it got closer. Finally one of his teammates noticed it.
" Uh………. Do you hear that noise? What is it??" Boromir said slowing down to listen.
" I don't hear anything… swim faster." Elrond said picking up the pace. Everyone tried to keep up with him, but since none of them were immortal- it soon became impossible so Elrond finally slowed down and they all waited for Gimli. After another good 16minutes and 58 seconds later or so Gimli caught up and they continued on. They reached land considerably later than the other tribe- but at least they headed in the right direction. When they got to land they realized they only had a half a map and after searching for the other half discovered that the map was neatly cut down the middle.
" Well Manwë did say that the teams were getting half a map. So I guess we did get the required bit." Faramir said twiddling his thumbs with an extremely happy look on his face.
" The otherssss had full mapses yessss, we sees it didn't we precious?? Yessss they got full mapsess and we got nutsessss and roasted fishes. Yessssss we's got the jipses we did… Gollum." Smeagol said appearing within the group after a long absence in which no one likely missed him. Everyone looked grimly to Faramir who was turning into the unlikely leader.
" What, me?? Why not Aragorn? He's the king!! I'm only a steward who wasn't even supposed to get the job!!!" Faramir threw up his hands in the air as they walked along.
" You sissy!!! I knew I never should have died!!! If I was still able to rule today, why I would knock your sorry butt into tomorrow!!!" Boromir jabbed his finger at Faramir threateningly but didn't act on his promises.
" Um… hello? Did I miss something or am I so totally the ruling king of Gondor?? WELL then don't talk about me like I wasn't here."
" Wanna know why we were talking like you aren't all there? Because you're not! You're a raving lunatic with a god damn wife who's ditzier than a cheerleader!!"
" No she's not- and don't go talking for me- I've lived longer than you and I'm the steward!!"
" Don't take my wife's side, she's a nut. She made me go to a councilor and SHE'S THE ONE THAT MADE ME SIGN UP FOR THIS FREAK SHOW."
Will Cabed Naeramarth ever find their camp??
Will Arwen ever be given a map again??
Will this show ever get past the first episode???????
Watch next time on Survivor: Middle Earth
" And we're back here at Survivor: Middle Earth about to set our teams out on the adventure of a lifetime. Are we ready??" Teams look at Manwë and nervously nod. " Ready? Set? Don't go!" Manwë shouts as Frodo is knocked off the side of the boat, flapping for his life. " He, he just kiddin' with ya, good ol' joke of mine, works every time, aw, that was priceless- GO!" Everyone is caught by surprise as the Calmindon team jumps off at once flipping the boat. Finally the Cabed Naeramarth team situates itself and with Pippin hanging on to a box for dear life, they started off. Camera goes to a soaking wet Manwë.
" And they're off on the adventure of a lifetime." Eerie music plays in the background as we zoom in on the Calmindon team headed to the left of the pointed island.
" Damn water, I've avoided taking a bath this long, and this just ruins it." Gimli mumbles as he drags an unconscious Frodo after him.
" Hey? He's not on our team!!!" A soaking wet, and extremely unhappy Galadriel yells pointing at Gimli.
" What are you talking about?? Of course I am!!" Gimli looks around slowly as the team stops altogether. " Oh shit, I'm not! Hey- hey guys! Wait up!!!" Gimli says as he swims off in the other direction leaving Frodo's body. Seconds later Frodo starts to sink and Legolas has to swim over and grab him since Saruman who is closer is watching Frodo with a strange gleam in his eye. The team swims on until they reach the shore. Arwen, who has been dubbed map person, looks at an upside down map and points to the right. Frodo has finally regained consciousness and is shakily walking behind them. About a half an hour later they see someone in front of them.
" Who is that? It looks like…like Gimli… Arwen are we going the right way?" Legolas asks looking at a confuzzled Arwen who is looking at the map and turns it right side up.
"Oh- My- God- the map…It so totally goes the other way!!" Arwen says flipping her hair over her shoulder and giggling. Everyone gives her the evil eye except Frodo who is staring squinty- eyed ahead.
" I don't see anything……… I can smell Gimli- but I can't see him anywhere." Frodo shades his eyes and looks harder yet he still sees nothing but trees and an increasingly barren land.
" He's about a mile ahead with the rest of his tribe- but that doesn't matter. We have to go ALL THE WAY BACK because DUM DUM here decided to be a ditzy blond!!!!!! About- Face!" Legolas sneers as the whole Calmindon tribe turns around and marches back towards their side of the island. Rewinding back to when the Cabed Naeramarth team was flipped over and finally on their way- Elrond decided to play a clever joke and tell Gimli to go to the right with the other tribe. He was hoping that they would rid themselves of the stench for a while. After about ten minutes of swimming, having the elven ears he had- he heard a frantic, "wait! Wait up you guys!!" from far away. Slowly but surely it got closer. Finally one of his teammates noticed it.
" Uh………. Do you hear that noise? What is it??" Boromir said slowing down to listen.
" I don't hear anything… swim faster." Elrond said picking up the pace. Everyone tried to keep up with him, but since none of them were immortal- it soon became impossible so Elrond finally slowed down and they all waited for Gimli. After another good 16minutes and 58 seconds later or so Gimli caught up and they continued on. They reached land considerably later than the other tribe- but at least they headed in the right direction. When they got to land they realized they only had a half a map and after searching for the other half discovered that the map was neatly cut down the middle.
" Well Manwë did say that the teams were getting half a map. So I guess we did get the required bit." Faramir said twiddling his thumbs with an extremely happy look on his face.
" The otherssss had full mapses yessss, we sees it didn't we precious?? Yessss they got full mapsess and we got nutsessss and roasted fishes. Yessssss we's got the jipses we did… Gollum." Smeagol said appearing within the group after a long absence in which no one likely missed him. Everyone looked grimly to Faramir who was turning into the unlikely leader.
" What, me?? Why not Aragorn? He's the king!! I'm only a steward who wasn't even supposed to get the job!!!" Faramir threw up his hands in the air as they walked along.
" You sissy!!! I knew I never should have died!!! If I was still able to rule today, why I would knock your sorry butt into tomorrow!!!" Boromir jabbed his finger at Faramir threateningly but didn't act on his promises.
" Um… hello? Did I miss something or am I so totally the ruling king of Gondor?? WELL then don't talk about me like I wasn't here."
" Wanna know why we were talking like you aren't all there? Because you're not! You're a raving lunatic with a god damn wife who's ditzier than a cheerleader!!"
" No she's not- and don't go talking for me- I've lived longer than you and I'm the steward!!"
" Don't take my wife's side, she's a nut. She made me go to a councilor and SHE'S THE ONE THAT MADE ME SIGN UP FOR THIS FREAK SHOW."
Will Cabed Naeramarth ever find their camp??
Will Arwen ever be given a map again??
Will this show ever get past the first episode???????
Watch next time on Survivor: Middle Earth