Reflections

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Part Six

I had to leave off playing with the young cousins when I had to go give a lesson to Colby and Mineko.

Colby was six and a half or almost seven as he liked to say, and he was the second child of Uncle Donatello and Aunt Jen, which meant he had the strange skin colouring that was an odd mix of both green and brown, which seemed typical for their kids. He had his dad's dark green eyes and his mom dark hair short and curly looking he had five fingers and toes.

Mineko was Uncle Raphael's and Aunt Sara's second daughter, poor Uncle Raphael all he kept getting was girls and after Kaida's birth they had sworn off having kids all together. Aunt Sara had even had an operation to insure she wasn't going have any more kids. Mineko was a little over seven now she had three fingers and five toes, red hair and eyelashes and while her skin was scaly just like the rest of the family, it was caucasian coloured more then it was green though you could see a small hint of green to it.

Due to their closeness in age they could learn together and could spar against one another. At the moment I was teaching them staff fighting using the four foot jo staff as it was more suited to their size then the six foot bo.

They were currently sparring and Colby managed to get a lucky strike past Mineko's defenses and typical of a Raphael child, she took offense to that.

She began striking fast and hard and Colby backpedaled under her vicious counter attack.

" Mineko stop it!" I ordered.

Either she didn't hear me, or she choose to ignore it but I as Sensei to her could not allow this.

I moved in fast drawing my sai I got between Mineko and Colby, catching her staff end between two of the prongs on my sai with an expert twist and a pull I yanked the staff from Mineko's hand and tossed the jo out of reach while I dropped into a low sweep kick knocking her to the floor. Before she could move I was on top pining her.

" Mineko, I'm not going to tell you twice, you just calm down now!' I ordered her sharply.

" But Ramiela he…" she protested her face a mask of fury and hatred.

" Got past you so big deal! Get used to it Mineko, and you might as well know you act like that in a real battle and your anger could lead to more people getting past your defenses because you aren't thinking things through." I informed her " By letting your anger control you, you end up opening yourself and others around you to further injury. Now twenty flips" I ordered as I got up off of her.

She glared hard at me, a sullen threatening look on her face.

I arched an eye ridge at her " Keep it up Mineko and you are going be doing a lot more than flips you can count on it. Like cleaning weapons after practice and writing an essay" I cautioned her.

She heaved a heavy sigh before replying " Summimasen ga Sensei."

She didn't sound too apologetic but I was willing to let it go for the moment.

I had learned teaching Uncle Raphael's children wasn't that easy to do, I had to maintain a balance between firm and yet allow some leeway without allowing them to disrespect me or others that might have to teach them. I knew if one got hard and pushed every point with them they would fight back, so I had to pick and choose my battles with them without being afraid to press my authority with them either.

I had, had plenty of talks with Sensei about teaching and how to get the best from my students, while at the same time not permitting them to walk all over me.

I once read something somewhere about a fellow who owned a jumping horse and he had said, " I don't want to beat the wind out of him, I don't want to demand the wind from him. I want him to give me the wind."

I rather liked that and I tried to keep that in mind with respect, hoping my students would give it to me not because they had to or it was forced but because they wanted to do so.

I watched as Mineko without any more complaints began her flips she would behave now. I turned to Colby " While she does that you and I can work on your bojitsu."

Colby gave me a big grin "Hai Sensei." He said cheerfully bowing towards me.

By the time they were dismissed it was time to go help dad with dinner preparations.

I actually loved cooking and baking but absolutely detested all the clean up that went with it but sometimes one had to take the good with the bad and the bad part of cooking was cleaning up the mess behind you. It was that or not cook at all. When it came to cooking I knew that I couldn't have a better teacher then my dad he could do wonders in the kitchen, and make simple leftovers into a meal suited for a five star restaurant but in spite of all his culinary skills he did need help with preparing the evening dinner meal, especially for a family of our size.

I knew that he had turkey for dinner tonight, which was all ready in the oven and when I had come home with Uncle Raphael I had smelled baking bread, which meant there was probably fresh dinner rolls as well.

I knew there was still plenty left to prepare and get ready before dinner was served and I usually helped dad with dinner, as it was free time for me.

I came into the kitchen to see dad at the stove just finishing making the cranberry sauce, he didn't like the canned stuff and refused to use it. It had to be frozen cranberries. Dad could be a stickler over some things like that when it came to cooking.

Dad looked over at me and smiled " Here for kitchen duty Rama?"

" Yes sir, reporting for K.P. sir. What would you like me to do sir?" I barked out in military fashion as I gave him a mock salute and tried to keep from laughing.

Dad chuckled and gave a rueful shake of his head " I don't know what I am going to do with you girl" he replied but his eyes shone with amusement.

" You could keep me, sell me or just chuck me out of my shell" I suggested teasingly.

Dad considered " Keeping you is far too much trouble, selling you might be worthwhile and chucking you out of your shell could be very entertaining" he replied, " I think I will go for B and C both I will chuck you out of your shell then sell you as a naked turtle."

" Yeah, right in your dreams maybe I'd have you out of your shell before you even had your chucks out of your belt" I scoffed in return.

" You think so huh?" Dad wondered arching an eye ridge at me, " Just for that you get to peel the potatoes" He announced.

" Fine!" I grouched lightly as I went to haul the dutch oven pot out of the cupboard it was the only pot big enough for all the potatoes we needed.

It was probably just as well part of Cathy's money and all of the Aunt's money from jobs went on buying groceries for the clan, and necessary medical supplies and equipment. We saved where we could buying other necessaries second hand or scavenging for items that the family might be able to use.

" Are we having mashed potatoes?" I asked hopefully. I loved baked and mashed potatoes.

" Sure" Dad agreed easily as he finished off the sauce and poured it into a bowl before placing it in the fridge and taking out the stuff we needed for a salad and a bag of carrots that also needed cut up for dinner.

I glanced around " What about dessert?"

" No dessert tonight Rama. I've got all I can do to finish off dinner in time" Dad groaned a bit.

" But we have to have dessert it is against the law, to not serve dessert" I insisted.

" I highly doubt that Rama." Dad remarked.

" What if I make dessert?" I pleaded quickly.

" If you can find something that will be quick to make go for it," Dad said generously.

I quickly considered the possibilities running over an inventory of items that I figured we might have on hand and wouldn't take long to make. " Don't we have some apples that need to be used up before they spoil?"

We didn't like to waste anything in our family if we could help it but sometimes fruit would start to go bad and no one would want to touch it that was when we usually made it into a dessert that everyone wanted to eat.

" Yeah I believe so."

" Enough for an apple crisp? If not we could add some cranberries to it," I offered.

" I think so Rama, an apple cranberry crisp sounds just about right." Dad nodded.

I smiled relieved that we would have dessert, we baked most of our own sweets and goodies like pastries and all it saved from buying the store bought stuff that wasn't necessary to have to begin with.

I bent to the peeling and slicing of the potatoes.

" You know Rama about this morning…" dad began tentatively.

I tensed up at his words, silently wishing, hoping he wouldn't ruin the peaceful relaxed mood we had in the kitchen at the moment. I liked my dad a lot better when he was joking and having fun then when he was getting after me for some misdeed either real or imagined, or riding my shell about the things I ought to be doing.

" Yeah?" I said tightly.

" Rama everyone in the clan knows when you start acting up big time you usually have a reason for it…"

I knew that was true enough to an extent but I still denied it on pretext alone " I haven't been acting up least not that much." I grumbled.

" Sure Rama" Dad snorted a bit, " You are only kidding yourself you know. I know there has been a lot of changes in the clan recently and I have a feeling you are having trouble coming to grips with all of it." He paused " I think your recent behaviour and present attitude are connected."

I shrugged indifferently " Maybe I guess so" I admitted hesitantly. Dad was the best one for reading my emotions and picking up on my thoughts, he was even better at it then sensei was but it was probably due to the fact that he had raised me and we had spent so much time together through my childhood.

" Honey how many times have we told you if you have a problem talk about it? You have a wonderful vocabulary and you know how to express your feelings, so there is no reason to not talk about things instead of letting them eat at you."

"Talking is overrated" I insisted simply.

Dad laughed a bit " Funny you used to be able to talk to me Rama, we'd talk about all kinds of things before I tucked you into bed. Used to be my favourite time of day."

" Yeah, you were finally getting me out of the way for some quiet time" I snorted a bit.

" No Rama, because I got to learn things about you and what you were thinking." Dad corrected.

I nodded I recalled those times when I was younger our nightly talks about so many things.

" I know times change and your not interested in what your old man has to say any more because you think you know it all" dad said softly.

I didn't know it all, but how could I talk about my feelings when I might hurt those I loved? How could I explain my own wishes and feelings without somehow letting those around me down or feeling that I was nothing more than a disappointment to them?

While I also valued the opinions of the adults in my family I also wanted time to find my own path and my own answers as well. I knew I couldn't expect the adults in my life to solve all my problems for me.

" You're not really that old just old fashioned," I corrected.

" Things change in life Rama it is one of the few things you can be certain of that there will be change some of it good other not so. You can stand and accept it for what it is or you can try and fight the inevitable but you are only wasting your time and energy by doing so." Dad pointed out as he chopped up the veggies for the salad.

" Rama," he sighed and shook his head a little " I realize though that it isn't easy thinking of Leo as the jonin now, and Splinter being more or less demoted not to mention the knowledge of your own future."

I squirmed a bit at his words " Dad do I…"

" Rama, my poor Rama llama ding dong."

I groaned and rolled my eyes in irritation as he said my childhood nickname.

Why was it parent's one mission in life was to embarrass their children anyway they could?

" DAD!" I snapped quickly letting him know that he was out of line.

" Okay forgive me" Dad apologized quickly holding up his hands. " Just remember Ramiela it is better to act then to react."

" I know that dad" I muttered I didn't want to hear him give a lecture not here or now I don't care how nicely he was going about it either. All I knew was he was doing it again damn him!

I took a couple of deep breaths calming myself and realized that dad was probably only trying to tell me the same thing I had told Mineko earlier, if I acted out in anger was that any better then her reaction?

" Ramiela I know you are aware of it. You act over reacting in battle situations but at home it is different" dad pointed out kindly.

" Dad it isn't that I don't talk sometimes I want a chance to work things out for myself and solve things on my own too." I explained.

" I understand that Rama but when you are feeling overwhelmed it is always better to share that with some one you trust."

I finished off the potatoes and put them on to boil before starting in on the carrots as dad started to make his own salad dressing.

He gave me a sad wistful smile " I really didn't want this for you either Rama but I have had to accept it as something that has to be."

I was shocked to hear that revelation. I thought dad would be proud and practically popping out of his shell over the fact I was to be the Jonin. In fact he had even acted very much like that when it had been announced and I had learned the truth.

I knew then that he must have known for a long time and had grown to accept it over that period so that when it was announced he would act accordingly. He hadn't told me any thing about it but I knew he wouldn't have been permitted to tell me and I also had a feeling that he wanted to protect me from that truth. Allowing me to be young and enjoy things as well as I could without worrying about what lay ahead.

" You really didn't want me being jonin? But why dad?" I wondered suddenly curious.

Dad poured the dressing on the salad and tossed it before helping cut up the carrots.

I went and dug out the apples to start peeling and slicing them for the dessert.

Dad sat down and joined me " Being Jonin can often be a dangerous position Rama, you draw a lot more enemy fire that way. The Foot want Leo far more then the rest of us because for years they felt he was the jonin of our clan."

I grinned a bit " Protecting me again. You really ought to stop that. I'm a kunoichi I can care for myself."

" I know you can Rama but a part of me can't let go of those things because you are my daughter and I can't help but feel I have to, protect you not because I want to hold you back but because I don't want to lose you. Not to mention those times in your youth that I thought I was going to."

" Guess no parent wants to lose their kid. I figured out today you only did it because you care for me and you don't want me hurt." I said.

" That is right Rama. Looks like you are growing up after all hon." Dad replied smiling at me.

I sighed, " I want a family of my own one day dad."

" There is plenty of time for that Rama your still kind of young for that yet" he insisted.

" But if I'm Jonin, how can I have a family and be with them?"

" Then as in all things, you must find the balance" dad replied simply.

I considered that he could be on to something. I know in our family dad was considered a bit of a clown and a fool but I knew that he could be very wise and insightful, or dead serious at times.

" Aw, I'll probably never have any one anyways. I'm just kidding myself," I grumbled suddenly feeling miserable.

Dad chuckled a little " Now don't be too sure Rama. If you are not careful your feelings might trick you into thinking you are in love when you aren't. Remember I just found real love for the first time just four years ago." Dad chided gently, " Give yourself time Rama, don't go rushing into things and most of all be sure of what you are feeling."

I looked at dad " Thanks dad for everything I love you."

Dad smiled in return " I love you too honey."

Sure I admit there were times he got on my nerves and would ride my shell seeming to nitpick over any little thing but then there were times when we would talk and joke around with one another and during those times I knew I loved him very much.

I knew in the thick of any fight any hard feelings were quickly forgotten. He'd help me out or I would help him. And I knew deep in my heart even when I hated him I still loved him.

He was really a great guy and a great dad when you got down to it.

No matter what our differences or disagreements with each other I had no doubt that he would always be there for me.

I guess what they say about blood being thicker than water is true.

TBC

Pretender: I agree with your opinion. But Rama might not see it that way. As you say in your review the old people look back and say kids have it so easy. That is sort of what Rama is doing at the end of the chapter. She views their life and problems as insignificant against what troubles she is facing.

Lenni: Ah, far too true!

Reinbeauchaser: Well I sent you the info hope it helps. I don't put it into stories due to rule of not having author notes as chapters; they will permit short author notes at beginning or end. And I'm not sure what they classify as such. However I might consider tacking it into my bio under the Rama series order notes.

Dancingfae: Hope they were good memories and yes no matter what or where you are in life you will have some sort of problems or troubles. It is part of what makes life what it is. I'm making you philosophical? Oh, goody!