Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings
A/N: No, I have not abandoned you. My life is truly crazy right now and I have barely had time to write, let alone update. Plus, Mildred, my resident Muse, refused to get off her lazy butt and help me. But please understand: unless I die or get kidnapped or paralyzed or something, I will ALWAYS finish my stories. There's nothing worse than an abandoned fic!
Gandalf was angry when he heard about the secret board meeting the day before. He knew he couldn't fire his board, but they had to understand that he was the one in charge. They needed to be punished. He needed to find a way....
Gandalf didn't know it would head his way soon, urged on by a rather naive dwarf.
Boromir set to work in his office. He was quite happy with his space. It had windows with an excellent view, and that was nice of course, but the room also had no door. Boromir didn't need a door...he was a ghost! He could float through walls if he needed to get somewhere. This feature of the room also gave him wonderful privacy; a blessing, since the rest of the employees were constantly being disturbed by "the Terminator."
Boromir was working on a list of people he needed to ask to hire. The Department of the Departed (as Aragorn had so aptly named it) was to be run and worked by the dead. Boromir currently had a paper with those who were definitely dead (including Théoden, the Oath breakers, Denethor, ect.) and another lists with questionable dead (Haldir, Hama, Lurtz).
Those on that list were problems for Boromir. Both Haldir and Hama, for example, died in the movies, but not in the books. And Boromir was almost sure that Aragorn had lopped off Lurtz's head in The Fellowship of the Ring (he'd still been alive himself when it happened!) and yet Lurtz seemed to re-appear in The Two Towers.
Boromir scratched his head. He needed help and didn't know a rational person that had his trust and the ability to enter his office. He decided to hunt down his little brother for help.
Faramir worked in Aragorn's department—Management of Gondor—and was sure to be happy to help. If it gave him an excuse to take a break from his own job, that is.
As Boromir guessed, Faramir was all too willing to leave the hustle and bustle of unpacking the department. "What do you need?" he asked. Boromir showed him the list. Faramir shook his head. "I don't know, Bor. I think you'll have to find each of them yourself to figure out who's dead and who isn't."
Boromir sighed.
Gimli put his plan in action the next day. He sent a newspaper ad to Dale where his friends at the Lonely Mountain Tribune agreed to run it. He sent posters to the major pubs in the shire and a notice for the armies of Rohan and Gondor.
That same day, a sign appeared by the water cooler, a favorite hang-out for the board members.
"'Mary-Sue and Fangirl registration'," Legolas read, his voice growing higher with each word. "'Meet at the Middle Earth Inc. headquarters in three days.' Ai!" He fainted.
Gandalf smirked. It was exactly what he needed.
A/N: Ok, guys, I'll try to be more prompt this time. But you know what would help? Reviews!