Chapter Two

God knows/God knows the direction/We're heading in tonight/God knows, god knows that when we're gone/They'll paint our shadows white/God knows god knows most wars are lost/Before they even start/And God knows god knows you'll count the cost/With blood or with your heart/With your heart

I know it all worked out wrong/I know the next line to your cradle song/God knows god knows the sky lit up/As the theatre closed down/and I think you know I still love you/You're still the brightest glow around

God knows god knows the seasons change/Summer came and went/God knows god knows we've all got one/A favourite descent/And oh baby we'll soldier on/To the final righteous breath/But God knows god knows the heart has gone/We've just got roses left/Roses left

[Thea Gilmore]


Hermione woke the next morning with a heavy heart. Despite what she'd told Ginny the day before, she hadn't gone back to help Parvati find her lipstick. Instead, she'd headed where she usually did when things got a bit rough – the library. She viewed it as more of a refuge than a place of study these days, because there wasn't much chance any of her roommates would lower themselves to join her. She had sat by herself, pretending to read various books, until the head librarian informed her it was time for them to close.

As she lay in bed, all Hermione could think about was Ron and Harry, and how they seemed to be cutting her out of their lives as if she didn't matter. She was fully aware that she wasn't the gorgeous model-type girl they were interested in, but that had never mattered before. She didn't want to be someone they lusted after, anyway; she just wanted to be their best friend again. Sighing, she forced herself out of bed and searched around for clothes and her books. There was no point being late for class on top of everything else... but it was a measure of how bad she felt that she wasn't even that bothered about the prospect.

"Hermione!"

It was as she was heading to lunch that Hermione heard someone behind her shout her name, and she spun around, fleetingly hoping it had been Harry or Ron, not even noticing the voice was female. She tried to hide her disappointment at the fact it was Cho Chang.

"Oh, hey, Cho. How are you?"

Cho smiled as she stopped in front of Hermione. Her long black hair was sleek and shiny, and she looked just as pretty as she had done in school. "I'm fine thanks! I was just wondering how you were getting on! I meant to visit you earlier in the term but oh my God, I've had so much work, you wouldn't believe!"

"That's ok, I've been really busy too," Hermione lied. "So... what are you up to?"

"Nothing much. I wondered if you'd like to come to lunch? Give us a chance to have a proper catch-up."

Hermione was slightly surprised by this. While she'd spoken to Cho a few times at Hogwarts and thought she was a nice enough girl, the two of them had never been remotely close, and Hermione couldn't help but wonder what was causing Cho's sudden warmth towards her. Nevertheless, she agreed, supposing that lunch with Cho would be better than lunch alone, yet again, and the two continued walking in the direction Hermione had been going originally.

"Is everything ok, Hermione?" Cho asked, once they'd found a table in the large dining hall and food had appeared on their plates. "It's just... well, you're usually with Harry, aren't you?"

"And Ron," Hermione added, without thinking.

"Of course, Ron. The three of you used to be inseparable! And I haven't seen you with them in a while... Come to think of it, I haven't seen them at all in a while."

Sighing, Hermione began eating her sausage and mash. "Look, Cho, if you're sitting with me just so you can ask about Harry, then forget it, ok? I haven't talked to him in a long time so there's no point. He seems to have forgotten I exist." Her last words sounded quite bitter, and Cho bit her lip.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise things were so bad. But honestly, I didn't want to ask about Harry the whole time. I wanted us to be friends." Cho's voice was small now, and Hermione stared at her.

"I'm not being funny, Cho, but I thought you had your own friends? What would you want me for?"

Cho laughed sourly. "Yeah, everyone thinks I'm so popular, don't they? Maybe in school... Everything's different now. They've made a load of better friends here, so they don't want me any more. To tell you the truth, Hermione, I'm really lonely. I've thought a few times about quitting, but my parents would be so disappointed and I do want to get my degree. It's just..."

"Hard?" Hermione supplied, and to her relief Cho nodded. "I know what you mean. That's probably what's happened with Harry and Ron. I mean, they used to love knowing me when it meant I could do their homework for them and figure out ways for them to stay alive... Now it's like they're all famous, so no one wants to know me any more. I helped to defeat Voldemort, too!" She felt tears in her eyes and willed them away in case Cho thought she was as pathetic as she knew she was.

"It's ok, I know you did. Come here." And then Cho hugged Hermione, something the younger girl wasn't used to. She'd never had close female friends, which was possibly the reason she found it so difficult to tolerate her three roommates, all of whom had been close for years, with Parvati and Padma being twins as well. The only two people Hermione had felt like family with had been Ron and Harry – and Ginny, but Ginny was still in school, and couldn't visit often.

"I'm sorry, I'm being so stupid," Hermione said at last, pulling away from Cho and wiping her eyes. "They're just stupid boys. Just because they had their names in the paper..."

Cho grinned. "They even spelt Ron's wrong, remember? Whoever they have for new friends, they'll soon realise they miss you. And when they do, I hope you give them hell." She turned to her plate, picking up her fork, before speaking again. "Do you want to come to a party in my dorm on Friday night? My friend Ariadne organised it. She's practically the only sane person up there, but she's telling loads of people to come and I think you should! Keep me company."

Hermione felt sick at the very idea. She'd never been one for parties and dancing and letting her hair down. She didn't even know what she'd do, and thought she'd probably end up looking really silly. Cho was looking at her expectantly, and she wasn't sure how to reply.

"Please?" Cho went on, pre-empting whatever it was Hermione had been about to say. "You don't have to stay if you hate it. Just promise me you'll show up? It might make you feel better."

"O...K," Hermione relented, to Cho's delight. "But I swear, if I feel out of my depth, I'm going." She made a mental note to feel out of her depth as soon as she set foot inside Cho's dorm.
"Ooh, a party?" Lavender's eyes lit up as Hermione explained about Friday night. Cho had asked her to spread the word on behalf of everyone in Cho's corridor, so naturally the three most likely candidates were very excited.

Hermione nodded. "Yep, a party." She sat down on her bed and tried not to laugh as Lavender, Parvati and Padma danced around as if they'd been told again that Voldemort was dead. "It's not till Friday," she reminded them above the din they were making, not that they heard her.

"Ooh, Hermione!" Parvati shouted. "I know what we can do! We can get you all dressed up!"

"Ooh, yeah!" Padma added, giggling. "Make you all pretty and see if we can get you a boyfriend!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Ooh, I don't think so. Sorry." She watched their faces fall and immediately felt guilty, like a mother confiscating her children's sweets. "I'm just not that bothered! Nobody's going to notice."

"That's not true," Parvati scolded. "They will notice you. Anyway, if you let us help, they'll notice you even more! Please? We won't do anything mad, we promise."

It took five more minutes of begging and pleading before Hermione reluctantly gave in, making them swear they would let her decide her own outfit. Now she really was dreading Friday.
Of course, Friday came a lot quicker than Hermione had hoped it would, and suddenly she found herself sitting in a chair in the middle of the floor, being fussed over by three extremely hyper girls, all of whom were already dressed and made up. Truth be told, they all looked lovely and part of Hermione was jealous that they could change themselves like that and not care in the slightest. They wanted others to look at them. Hermione didn't. She wanted to find a corner and stay there all night, but that wasn't a realistic option.

"Your hair looks amazing now!" Padma exclaimed, half an hour after they'd started work on it. "It's all straight!"

This wasn't groundbreaking to Hermione, who had straightened her hair once before, for the Yule Ball in her fourth year at Hogwarts, but apart from that she'd never had the time or the inclination to do it every day. Now, however, as Padma held up a mirror, Hermione found her confidence lifted a little at seeing the transformation. Not only was her hair perfect, but Lavender had added eyeshadow and a touch of lipstick, highlighting Hermione's features and making her look slightly older. She was pleased; they hadn't gone overboard as she'd feared, and she still looked like herself, only with a few differences here and there.

"Now, what have you decided to wear?" Parvati asked as the other two girls put away their cosmetics. She frowned as Hermione held out what looked like a long skirt and a plain black top. "Hmm. Try it on, then."

Hermione did so, after making sure none of them was looking, and then turned back. She felt fine in this outfit, but apparently, her 'staff' didn't agree.

"Oh no, that's not for a party!" Lavender cried, rushing over. "You have such a nice figure, Hermione. Just let me..."

"No!" Hermione shouted crossly, and Lavender stared. "I'm sorry," Hermione continued, in a lower voice, "but I don't feel comfortable in anything else. It's not me." She held her hands up as in apology, knowing how stupid she must sound.

"Please..." Lavender was pouting now, the way she did with her boyfriend, Seamus. Unfortunately, Hermione wasn't a lust-riddled teenage boy, so it didn't quite have the same effect.

"No," she insisted, folding her arms.

"Oh well," Parvati sighed. "Let's have a look at you, anyway. Give us a twirl."

Hermione shrugged – that didn't seem too bad. She began to turn around, and then she felt something warm brush past her, making her frown in suspicion. When she faced the front again, she was shocked to find herself staring into Padma's mirror again... and her clothes were different. One of the girls had obviously charmed them, so that the top was more low-cut, into a V- shape and trendily jagged at the edges, while her skirt was much shorter and asymmetrical just above her knees. The shock of seeing the whole effect meant that Hermione couldn't protest; she merely stared and stared until the other three grabbed her hands and dragged her out of the door, up to Cho's floor.

"Hey!" Cho greeted them at the door of her dorm, which was the first on the corridor, with a big smile. "Wow, Hermione, you look fantastic!" She hugged each of them in turn before letting them past into the large room, where music was blasting and people were spread about, talking, laughing and occasionally doing a bit more.

"I'm just going to find Seamus," Lavender said with a giggle, weaving her way over to where he was standing with Dean Thomas.

"Typical," Parvati moaned, watching her friend. "Anyone want to dance?"

Padma did, but Hermione most certainly did not, so she settled for standing by the food table and deciding what looked safest to eat. Just as she was examining a suspicious-looking sandwich, she heard a commotion at the door and looked over to see Harry and Ron arriving, each of them with a skinny, laughing girl on their arms. Hermione found that she felt rather sick, and discarded the sandwich in favour of a strong drink. She never usually drank, but this was enough to send anyone over the edge.

"Excuse me..." Hermione heard the voice but refused to turn around, until the speaker was level with her at the table, and then she looked around.

"Hello, Ron," she said evenly, trying to suppress a chuckle at the stunned expression on Ron's face as he met her eyes and realised who he was looking at.

"Shit... Hermione!" he cried, and before either of them knew what they were doing, they'd embraced in a tight hug. Hermione closed her eyes and smiled with relief. She'd expected to be angry with him and end up having a huge, embarrassing argument, but the moment he'd said her name, all her anger had melted away and it was as if the past two months had never happened.

Eventually, they broke apart and Ron was grinning madly, as well as looking Hermione up and down with very little subtlety. "You look..."

Hermione laughed quietly. "Stupid? Ridiculous? Because I know, Ron. This wasn't my idea, believe me."

"I believe you," he replied, then stopped laughing. "But I was going to say, you look amazing."

Hermione knew she was blushing, and didn't dare meet his eyes again. She was almost grateful when they were interrupted by Ron's arm-girl, a tall blonde who was looking down on Hermione as if she was pond-scum.

"I'm sorry, I had no idea you were busy," she said airily, reaching behind to get a drink.

"This is Hermione, my friend," Ron explained to the annoying girl, who didn't look very impressed. "Hermione, this is Amanda."

"Amelia!" the girl growled, glaring at him. "Honestly, you'd think you might remember my fucking name."

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Well, if your fucking name is different from your normal name, I can see why Ron might have problems," she replied coolly. Both Ron and Amelia stared at Hermione, Ron with awe, Amelia with something resembling hatred. Hermione didn't care; she'd just spotted Harry, and by the look on his face, he couldn't believe it was her either.

"Yes!" he yelled, running over and picking Hermione right off her feet to swing her around. They both ended up laughing along with Ron, while Amelia had stalked off, shooting Hermione filthy looks.

"Well I am surprised. I thought you'd both forgotten me," Hermione was saying, as the three of them sat on a very squashy sofa, drinking punch and talking incessantly. "I've seen you loads of times and you've never once said hello to me. Or even come to visit. It was really hurtful." She looked down at her cup and willed herself not to cry, if only for the sake of her make-up.

Harry put an arm around her. "We're so sorry. We didn't mean to, honest! Things got on top of us..."

"It's mad down our corridor," Ron explained, shaking his head. "You wouldn't believe. There are these girls, and they camp outside our room every night to try and see Harry. We've had security remove them but they keep coming back..."

Hermione pursed her lips. "Must be dreadful for you," she said casually, before laughing at Harry's pained expression. "Aww, is it really that bad?"

"Well, it was fun in the beginning, but now it's a bit freaky," he admitted. "A good few times we decided to try and find you, but so much has happened, and by this time we thought you probably hated us."

"I did," Hermione smiled. "Never mind, at least you got your gorgeous girlfriends, eh?"

Ron sighed. "None of the girls are remotely interested in me, Hermione. They only pretend to be because I'm Harry's best friend and they use me to get closer to him. I've known that all along, but I tried to pretend I didn't care. Seeing you tonight... It's made me realise..."

Hermione frowned. "Realise what?"

Ron turned as red as his hair. "Nothing, I didn't mean anything. Just... Well, you don't just like me 'cause of Harry."

"No, that's very true," Hermione replied gently. "I like you for lots of reasons." They exchanged a small smile, before Harry launched into a story from one of their classes.