OH MY GOD! You peoples don't know how bad I wsa freaking out when I saw that I had five reviews! I kept thinking "They hate it… they are going to turn up at my house in elf costumes trying to shoot arrows at me for being a crappy writer. " And now.. I must thank you… for being SO magnificently wonderfully nice! (hands out fiber optic frogs) Here are the bribery things I used, be kind to them.
Crow: NO! NOT BIRDS PLEASE! (cowers) Thank you so much for your review! It made me happy! WHOOO!
Maya: I heart Shakespeare…nothing can beat a good play, LOTR comes close though! Thank you for reviewing! (hugs)
Meghan: I shall keep going! I will crusade for my story! Thank you for taking the time to review.
Jade Limill: I have an evil cliffhanger! Something evil in my story (besides a cat attack).
EstrielandJenna: I like your name! Thank you for telling me that my story is original…I'm going to try and make it as original as I can, but with, like, 90 million stories about Haldir, it's going to be hard! OH! And you shall get both a review and a frog!
And now the second chapter of my story!
'No… no, this is not possible. I AM GOING INSANE!' I thought. It's either that or I was dreaming…nightmaring…whatever… In REALITY random elves from fictional novels dropping into your bedroom is NOT a common occurrence, and if it was I had been completely oblivious to the practice. But the longer I stared at the lump on the floor, the more I realized, that this was, in fact, real, and that I had a very unconscious, very existent, very should be fictional ELF in my bedroom.
I reached up to rub my temples and felt something wet on my hand; upon closer examination I saw that it was blood. It was from my nose. Apparently the arrow had been a little closer than I thought. 'Okay, the first thing I should do is take away his weapons.' Which proved more difficult than I expected, but, after ten minutes of pulling and wiggling, I was finally able to remove all of the scary, pointy dangerous, objects from his person.
'It seems that Middle Earth isn't as safe as Tolkien lead on!' This Elf was equipped for battle in the worst way! He was 'armed' with a bow and arrow, two curved knives and another knife I found in his boot…shoe… thingy. I checked once more to make sure he was completely 'disarmed' (goodness, I'm making him sound like a time bomb!) before putting the weapons in one of my separate bedrooms. I then got myself a large glass of wine and stood over his limp form, wondering what the HELL I was going to do when he awoke a few hours from now….
The wine must have been much stronger than I previously thought, because I found myself waking up just as the sun was rising. I was lying crosswise on my bed. 'All right.' I said to myself with my eyes still closed, 'whatever happened last night was a dream. There is no Elf in your bedroom and when you open your eyes you will see that all has gone back to normal.' I counted to three before slowly opening my eyes…and I found myself STILL looking upon the unconscious form of Haldir. The Elf.
I sighed, and got up. I wondered why I wasn't completely freaking out. I usually do when unexpected things happen, but for some reason I didn't care. I know that sounds awful…I think that I still thought that I was in a dream or has hallucinating or something. I hopped over the elf and went into my bathroom to shower. That's when I realized that showers DO wake you up to the things around you…because it was then that the entire situation fell on me and I began screaming bloody murder. My voice was horse by the time I finished and I knew that the only thing I could was call Kristin…she was the person who could always help…
I was still in a towel when I dialed her number…a tired sounding Kristin answered, sounding very…out of it.
"Hello?" she said in the 'I have just woken up' voice.
"Kris? Y-you NEED to come over here… I- need your help."
"Wh-Who is this?" She responded.
My impatience got the better of me and I yelled, "It's you CONCIENCE, telling you to go over to Anita's house to help her. Now get your lazy butt over here and HELP me!"
I hung up, knowing that she had gotten my point. I only hoped Haldir stayed out of the conscious world for the 15 minutes it took her to get to my home. I guess my life took on some semblance of luck, because he DID…and Kristin arrived to aid me in my distress.
But MAN was she pissed.
"Okay… What the HELL did you feel was so FREAKING important that you felt the need to wake me up at SIX THIRTY… ON A SATURDAY???!!! I had to take the damn SUBWAY to get here and some lady wearing a lime green trench coat HIT ON ME!!!!"
I motioned for her to be quiet and lead her to my bedroom.
"NO! You DID NOT wake me up to show me your new bed sheets…did you? If you did I'm gonna…" She was getting angrier by the second. But once she saw what I was going to show her she would understand. I softly pushed her into my room, and got in front of her so she wouldn't step on him.
"Okay…did you bring me here to show me some guy you SLEPT with? I know I was being mean about your whole 'non-relationship life' last night… but that doesn't mean you gotta go and pick up some guy dressed like a friggin' Lord of the Rings groupie. Now who the HELL is he?"
"No, I didn't sleep with him! He…He kind of 'dropped' into my room last night."
She snorted. "Yeah! Dropped in from the nearest convention? Or is he a stripper?" She kicked his leg, "YO! Homes, wake up!"
"DON'T KICK HIM! And he won't wake up… he's unconscious." That stopped her from kicking him a second time.
"You sure 'bout that? You sure he's not DEAD?" She kneeled by him.
'Shit! I had never thought of that! I just assumed he was knocked out from his collision with my jewelry box… DAMN!' I knelt next to her, "I think he's just knocked out. Jasmine caused an interesting chain of events…that's why my painting is on the floor."
Kristin was still staring at him, and then she noticed his ears, "My God… Is-Is this an Elf?"
I nodded, " Yup, and not just any Elf…He's Haldir. He fell into my room last night at about three. He threatened to shoot me and then he was knocked silly by falling into my jewelry box. I have no clue how he got here or anything else about him."
Kristin looked at me, her eyes all squinty, "And you called me because…?"
"HELLO! Some strange mythical being dropped into my room! I didn't know if this was a dream or reality! And you ALWAYS know what to do in weird situations! I thought maybe you could help me!"
"Look…Anita, I have no idea what to do! " she gasped, "Maybe it's a sign from GOD!"
I looked at her in disbelief, "I thought you didn't believe in God?"
"I didn't believe in Elves either! But I guess I was wrong!" She got down on her knees and clasped her hands in front of her in mock prayer, "Dear Lord! I am SOO SORRY for all the premarital SEX Anita has been having! She won't admit to it, but I know she's a nymphomaniac! Maybe by sending her this gift of an Elf her voracious sexual appetite will be sated, for now she has a love slave!"
I pushed her over, "Shut up! I am NOT a nympho! And stop making fun of the situation! I need help! What am I supposed to do?"
"I'm just as lost as you are! This has NEVER happened to me! And frankly I'm not awake enough to care! All I can say is…wait until he wakes up, try and calm him down, 'cause I'm sure he'll be freaked out, and go from there! I have to go home! I need sleep! I think I'm in a dream! I'll call you when I'm lucid!"
She kept on rambling until she had left, leaving me alone with a comatose Elf…who just moved. Dear God... he just moved! 'What if he wants to attack me? He's really tall…I can't die! NOOO!' I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a butcher knife…WHAT? He could go insane and attack! You never know!
By the time I got back to my room, he was sitting up mumbling in Elvish and clutching his head. I hoped he wouldn't realize his weapons were missing. I stood there… quivering on the spot, waiting for him to notice me, but hoping he wouldn't.
Just as I thought, the minute he saw me, he went for his bow, only to discover it wasn't there. He seemed to be silently freaking out…I know I would if I had just dropped into somewhere in place totally opposite what I was used to.
"Where am I?" Was the simple question he asked.
I took a deep breath, "You are NOT in Middle Earth anymore. You are in New York City…in my bedroom. I am Anita. Who are you?" I kept my question to the point and easy…and though I already knew he was Hadir, I wanted to make sure I was correct in my assumptions.
He took all of this information in before answering. "I do not know of this 'city' you speak of. We are not in Middle Earth…this is strange. I am Haldir, March Warden of Lothlorien."
'He must still be jumbled from the fall, his sentences are all choppy.' I thought.
"No we are not in Middle Earth. I know that is where you come from. Can you remember anything before you came here? I mean RIGHT before…"
The disoriented Elf looked around before replying, "I believe I was… I cannot remember…"
"That's all right." Okay…awkward pause. Haldir seemed to regain the composure he had last night very quickly, he walked around my as if he knew what he was doing and where he was, but I knew better, I could see he had no idea what my radio did as he turned it…he jumped when classical piano drifted from the speakers. He hit another button and Madonna's Like a Prayer resonated in the room. I watched as he lost interest in it and surveyed my room with grey eyes, taking in his surroundings. I didn't know it at the time, but I was still shaking, and the butcher knife was behind my back out of his view.
Haldir found my mirror quite amazing, and looked at himself for QUITE some time before turning back to me.
"Well, I believe this all good fun, but I would like to go home now."
I had no idea what to say…How are you supposed to tell some one you don't know if they're ever going to see the land they love again. "Umm…. You can't." 'Oh yes, wonderful mincing of words Anita!'
He just looked at me for a moment and said, "Of course I can."
"Umm… No, I really don't know if you can."
"Yes you do."
"No… I don't."
He seemed to lose his composure each passing second. "Y-You have to know… you brought me here, did you not? And if you somehow brought me to this 'New York City' from Middle Earth, you MUST be able to send me back."
I lost my temper…just a little though, "DUDE! I have no freakin' idea how you came here! You just dropped into my bedroom last night! I don't know how you came here, and I certainly don't know how to send you back to Fairy land!"
His eyes went wide, and he was sputtering most of his words… not making much sense. "I…cannot g-go back to Loth-Lothlorien? Ho-How can this be? I-I don't understand…"
He trailed off and I picked up. " I don't know. I'm just as confused as you are, but my point is…I think you might be stuck here for quite a while."
And the something I had not expected happened… The 'Great March Warden of Lothlorien' fainted.
THERE! Second chapter done! Good? Bad? Ugly? All those who review shall get…. GLOBES OF MIDDLE EARTH! And Lothlorien LIGHTS UP! WHOOO!