"Well what exactly were you expecting?" he replied shortly. "You're kind of a pain in the ass when you want to be."

She blinked and cleared her throat. "Reese?"

"Still me Helena," Jesse Reese replied, his voice unusually hard. He sounded irritated. In fact he had sounded much like this ever since he had picked up the phone minutes earlier.

"Right," she muttered. She decided to change the subject. "So I take it you had no luck finding Harley?"

"Don't you think I would have told you if I did?

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, did I wake you up from some great dream or something?"

"No," he said gruffly. "I guess I'm just confused. You and Barbara got into a fight because you drank too much and made a fool of yourself. I guess I just don't see the emergency. Hardly a new thing. Why the urgent late night call?"

"Obviously a bad idea," she murmured. She pulled the phone away from her ear and gazed at it. She touched the flat of her palm against her forehead. Her hand was starting to feel like a steel drum and she wondered if maybe she was imagining his tone and he was playing with her.

That was certainly possible right?

Had to be.

Even when he'd been ticked at her and those times had been many, he'd never spoken to her in such a manner. Never been such a jerk.

"Yeah, obviously," he confirmed. She heard a strange rustling noise behind him. She couldn't quite pin down what it was but it sent alarms racing through her.

"Jesse," she said softly. "Where are you?"

"Out," he said simply. "And in the middle of something."

She swallowed hard. "Are you alone?"

"I don't have time for this," he snapped. "Call me back when you want to actually be an adult, Helena. I don't have time for your games."

"Right," she said, feeling her eyes fill with tears. She closed her eyes and forced them back. She wasn't the type to let a man get so far under her skin, even one that she had such strong feelings for. "Bye."

"See ya," he said gruffly. The line clicked off a moment later.

She stared at the headset, shaking her head. She had seen him just hours earlier and they'd had a hell of an evening. In fact if not for returning to check on Barbara and Harley escaping, she rather figured that she'd still be lying in his arms back in his apartment.

So what the hell had changed?

And who was he with?

And why?

Reese wasn't the kind of man to cheat but he had been acting so strangely. So out of character.

Helena dropped back against her pillows, her sore and exhausted body crying out in protest as it thumped against the mattress. Her head was spinning and her stomach was in knots.

She pushed herself back to her feet and stumbled towards her bathroom. She yanked the medicine cabinet open and began to sift through the various bottles there. She finally located a red container. She snapped the cap off and dropped a single green and white pill into her mouth. She considered a second one and then took that one as well. She put the bottle back in and closed the mirror.

She used a Dixie cup to draw water. She looked at the pills and then knocked them back. They were standard low dosage sleeping pills. They didn't have any more strength than Tylenol PM but they would get the job done just fine.

She slid back under her sheets and yanked the quilt up to her chin. She turned towards her pillow and pressed her face into the soft red cotton of her sheets.

Her mind continued to whirl and turn.

She figured it would until the drugs kicked in.

Hopefully that would be soon.

Very soon.

* * *

She ran her fingers through her wet hair and brushed several stuck strands of crimson away from her forehead. She sighed impatiently, irritated by the rebellious nature of her mane.

"Bad hair day?" Helena Kyle quipped as she stepped into the kitchen. She was dressed in men's faded green and black flannels and a Gotham Knights tee shirt that hung down over her beltline. The visual would have been astonishing in it's departure from the norm if not for the fact that this was vintage Helena first thing in the morning.

"No," Barbara Gordon protested, probably with more strength than was actually necessary. She tried to cover it up by smiling. "Good morning."

Helena just grunted. She glanced across at Barbara's plate and frowned. "No Alfred?"

Barbara looked down and grimaced at the piece of blackened toast sitting in front of her. She had tried to butter it up to make it eatable but it really was little more than charcoal now. "He has the day off. The uh, toaster, I think it's broken."

"Sure," Helena chuckled. She crossed over to one of the cupboards and yanked it open. She brightened considerably when she saw a box of Trix sitting on the second shelf. She pulled it out, opened it and gazed inside. "Damn Dinah" she muttered.

"You did break her ankle," Barbara said mildly. "I think she has the right to eat your cereal."

"She never has the right to eat my cereal," Helena shot back. She yanked a bowl out of the cupboard and poured what was left in the box into it. It was only about small cups worth. She dumped milk on top of it and sullenly dropped into a chair opposite Barbara. "Where is she?"

"Sleeping," Barbara replied hesitantly. "She was in pain this morning so I gave her some more morphine. She's dead out."

"Oh," Helena said quietly, staring down at the bowl of cereal, her appetite suddenly gone.

Barbara reached across and touched her hand. "It's okay. She's okay. I'm worried about you now."

"I'm okay," Helena grumbled, her eyes still on the cereal. She put a finger into the bowl and stirred it.

"Don't play with your food," Barbara chastised. "Helena, look at me." She put a finger under her protégé's chin and lifted it. "Look at me."

"I am," Helena replied, clearly not. Barbara held her face in place until the brunette finally reluctantly made eye contact. "What?"

"We can't keep doing this. You and me, we have to find a way through this. We both have to deal with it."

"It?" Helena countered, trying to play dumb.

Barbara smiled slightly. "Wade," she said softly. "Neither one of us have gotten over him." She paused. "Maybe we're not meant to just yet."

"I won't hurt her again," Helena said in a small voice, finally breaking eye contact. She looked back down at the now slightly pinkish milk in the bowl. She fished a banana shaped morsel out and popped it into her mouth.

"I know," Barbara insisted. "And I know last night was an accident. Helena, I know you better than anyone else. I do." She took a deep breath. "But last night when I asked you what it was inside of you that makes you hate yourself so much, I wasn't joking around and those weren't just words."

Helena lifted up one of her hands and began to rub at the lines on her palm with her other thumb. She stared down, not saying anything. After a few moments of silence she lifted her forefinger and thumb to her lip and gently chewed on the flesh on the tip. "I don't hate myself," she finally muttered. "I just....I just keep letting you down."

"You promised me once that you wouldn't run from me again. You remember?"

"Yeah," Helena nodded. "When we had to take down Harley."

"Right. So stop running."

Helena chuckled self-depreciatively. "I don't run."

"Only sometimes you do."

"Only sometimes I do," Helena admitted. "Okay," she finally sighed. "What do you want from me?"

Barbara smiled softly. "I want you to tell me why you can't accept it when I tell you I don't blame you?"

Helena shrugged. She stood up and took the bowl over to the sink. She dumped it out and turned on the garbage disposal. Almost immediately a horrific grinding noise echoed through the room.

"Turn the water on," Barbara called out, wincing.

"Oh yeah," Helena grinned, not so much annoyed at the sound. She spun the cold water on and the sound quickly muted into a soft rumbling. Once the soggy Trix had watched away, she turned back towards her mentor. "Wanna work out?"

Barbara lifted an eyebrow. "You're changing the subject."

"I'm not," Helena insisted. "But if I'm gonna get all talky, I'd prefer to be kicking something at the same time."

"Sounds like fun," Barbara quipped. She glanced down at herself and then snorted. She was wearing a tank top, beyond that it didn't really matter what she was wearing. She looked at Helena. "In your flannels?"

Helena laughed, this time more genuinely. "Sure. I can still kick your ass in sleepwear."

"Yeah, that'll be a first. I mean that you could kick my ass at all," Barbara grinned, wheeling away from the table. Helena followed a feet behind, glancing down at the flannel fabric that was dragging on the ground. It certainly wasn't the most comfortable clothing to work out in but she didn't want to change just to have to do it again after a shower.

Barbara turned to face her protégé once they entered the training room. "Sticks?"

Helena shrugged. "Don't really use them."

"I know," Barbara said dryly. "But it never..."

"Hurts to add them to the arsenal, blah blah blah..."

Barbara made a face. "It thrills me how much you listen to me."

"Every word you say," Helena grinned. She spun suddenly and snapped off a hard right cross towards Barbara. The redhead reacted instantly, her hand going up to block the blow. She retaliated with a punch of her own that Helena easily dodged.

"Nice," Barbara said appreciatively. "But you're still leaving your side open."

"No I'm not," Helena protested, spinning around and kicking out.

Barbara grabbed one of the escrima sticks and struck out at the brunette's leg, clipping her hard just above the kneecap. Helena hit the mat with a thud. She looked up, her eyes dancing. She loved sparring with her mentor, it was always a hell of a workout.

"Okay," Barbara said as she blocked another hard punch, "Talk."

"Talk?"

"Helena," Barbara warned.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay, well there's not much to say."

Barbara sighed. She really should have known better. Of course it wasn't going to be easy. More like pulling teeth. "Are you having dreams?"

Helena jumped in the air and spun down to Barbara's side, going straight for the wheel of the chair. Barbara had long ago taught her to ignore an opponent's apparent weakness and to perceive them as an extension of the individual. Therefore, they were fair game too.

Barbara of course knew her fighting style like the back of her hand. She placed the stick between the chair and Helena's foot and then used it to bounce the smaller girl away. Helena tumbled a few inches and then did a back flip and landed on the balls of her feet, already prepping for a new attack.

"Yes," Helena admitted. "A few." She shrugged. "I have dreams about everything."

Barbara lifted an eyebrow, a curious smile coming over her face. "Everything?"

Almost immediately Helena's stance faltered and her mood darkened. "Everything," she repeated, her voice suddenly very thick.

She charged Barbara, anger now in her eyes. Barbara shook her head and narrowed her eyes. She crossed the sticks and then slammed them directly into Helena's chest. The brunette flew several feet backwards and slammed down to the mat.

"That was sloppy," Barbara said sternly. "You lost your focus."

Helena pushed herself up to an elbow. She slammed her hand against the mat and then shoved herself up. "Getting a little cocky aren't we Gordon?"

Barbara rolled her eyes. She'd seen this before. This was vintage Helena, especially when something had hurt her. Well, as usual the first part of the whole event would be knocking her back on her ass.

Then she's force the truth out of her.

Helena swung around and punched out with her left hand. She followed it with a quick right that glanced off of Barbara's jaw. The redhead hissed but quickly responded by slugging Helena across the face.

Helena fell back, stunned. She put a hand to her cheek. "Ouch."

Barbara smirked. "What, you thought I was just gonna let you get your kicks in?"

"No," Helena muttered, standing back up. "But that was a cheap shot."

"Was not," Barbara shot back.

"Was too."

"Uh huh," Barbara chuckled. She turned away from the brunette and grabbed at a towel that was on a nearby rack. She wiped sweat away and then tossed another towel to Helena. "So, what just happened there?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit. I asked you what you were dreaming about your response, that wasn't about Wade."

Helena nodded slowly. "Reese."

Barbara frowned. "Reese? I didn't know there was anything wrong? Weren't you just with him last night? I mean, did something happen?"

Helena chuckled but it wasn't humorous. "Wish to God I knew."

"I don't understand..."

"When I left Reese last night, everything was great or at least I thought it was. He didn't want me to go. He was even trying to talk me out of it."

"So why did you?"

Helena looked away. "Had to check on you."

Barbara smiled. "I'm feeling much better, thanks. I can even breathe through my nose now."

Helena snorted. "Well that's a plus because Dinah's says you've been keeping her awake all weak with your snoring."

"Hey I only do that when I'm sick and by the way, don't think I don't know what you just tried to do. Get back to Reese young lady."

"Eh," Helena shrugged. "Had to try."

"Yes, I know. Reese."

"I don't know, Barbara. I don't know what happened. I talked to him before I went back to my apartment. He said he was going out with McNally to look for Harley."

"Same as when I talked to him," Barbara said with a nod.

"Then last night I called him and he blew me off." She shook her head. "No he didn't blow me off, he was a fucking prick." She started to pace, her agitation obvious.

"That doesn't make sense. What did he say?"

"He told me not to bother him with my childish issues." She paused. "And he was with someone. He got really angry when I asked who..."

"Helena..."

"I know," Helena said, holding up a hand to halt her mentor. "I mean I know. I do. That's not Reese." She chewed her lip. "But what if it is?"

"Reese would never cheat on you," Barbara said firmly. "He wouldn't. Look I don't know what happened last night but I'm sure it was a misunderstanding. He was probably stressed out after being out all night looking for Harley."

"Yeah," Helena said, kicking the mat with the toe of her sock. "I know. I just...I mean..."

"You're afraid he might be," Barbara said simply. "You have to give him the benefit of the doubt. Go talk to him. You know Hel, it's not like you always see things crystal clear."

"Gee thanks for the vote of confidence," Helena said dryly.

"That's not a knock on you," Barbara protested. "But last night was a really bad night for you and you were pretty drunk. Maybe..."

"Maybe I read it wrong," she finished. "Yeah I know. I keep thinking that too." She placed a hand to her head. "God I'd almost forgotten about the hangover. Sleeping pills and all."

Barbara made a face. "You shouldn't mix that much alcohol with sleeping pills. It's very dangerous."

"Thanks mom."

"I'm serious."

"I know. I'm okay, really. Barbara, really, I swear."

"Uh huh," the redhead mentored. She sighed. "Fine but I'm not giving you any aspirin to deal with the hangover. You're gonna have to gut this one out."

"Bitch," Helena grunted.

"Aren't you pleasant," Barbara laughed. "We done here or did you need another ass kicking?"

"Keep it up," Helena said with a smile. "Just keep it up."

"I'm shaking," Barbara taunted, grinning widely.

"You should be." Then she shook her head. "But alas no, I can't put you in your place today. It'll have to wait until later."

"Alas? When did you start saying that?"

"Hey I can sound intelligent," Helena protested.

"Sure, hey, okay, yeah," Barbara chuckled. "Didn't say otherwise."

"Bite me," Helena groaned. "I'm gonna go shower."

"And Reese?"

Helena took a deep breath. "I guess I'd better just go to the source." She brightened slightly. "He can tell me I'm being a dope to my face."

"Or something to your face," Barbara quipped.

Helena widened her eyes scandalously. "Barbara!"

The redhead just snorted. "Go shower."