Author's Notes: This is a spur-of-the-moment ficlet.
Warning: Sap alert.
Disclaimer: Slam Dunk is not my property but Inoue Takehiko's.
The Things You Do to Me
I watched him as he turned on his side, pulling the covers over his perfectly sculpted torso. For once, his hair was down, framing that gorgeous asset, tranquility and innocence so deceitfully written all over it. Yes, so treacherously, deviously, fraudulently written all over it.
Tonight was one of the nights. I would go to his place, he'd spice up the night and I'd leave at dawn, or vice versa. That would always be the routine ever since the two of us hooked up. There should be less words and more action, as he so insightfully points out, and I would always agree because he would look at me, meaningful and all too promising.
Freaking amazing. So angelic yet so devilish, so alluring yet so appalling...
And yes, I knew it. No strings attached, no emotions involved and I knew it. I was just one of his conquests, one in his string of victories, one in his limitless collection, and I despise him for that. Absolute loathing is it; I wouldn't even want a whiff of his charm crawling in my skin.
But then again, I always knew that after these musings, I would come back. I would hate him but I would always come back, not because I enjoy our status but because I knew that deep down, I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, he's willing to take us seriously.
How sweetly moronic.
Once an insensitive bastard, always an insensitive bastard.
I gazed at his sleeping figure some more, savoring every bit, giving him yet again a lingering look before I go. I just had the strongest urge to curse him and once and for all, pour everything out right then and there before I leave.
"DAMN YOU. Damn you for being so amazingly magnetic, damn you for making me stay, damn you for making me feel. You're one insensitive bloke, you do realize that? I come, I go, and you don't even notice. We play your games, we have fun and I'm anything but happy. If any, I'm tired. Tired of hoping, wishing, pretending that perhaps, you need me not out want but out of need itself. Falling is such a hard thing to do, you know that? It so happens that there are such unfeeling people in this world who would not be keen enough to catch you. I know that I'm all too stupid for saying all these to you when you can't even hear me but I don't care."
At that point, I started towards the door. My load was lighter but the emptiness was never gone.
"You know perfectly well that this is my nature."
Last thing I knew, I was the only one speaking here. Gods. I turned to look behind me. True enough, he was awake.
"You heard."
I was calm. How could I have been so foolish to tell him everything without even realizing that he could wake up any minute?
"I can't just change for you, You-kun."
And that was it. That statement was powerful enough to crush any hope I had. I should have known. It took me a while to come up with a response to that.
"Of course." I smiled sadly. "I'm sorry you heard. Don't worry, I'm not expecting."
What was I saying? One word, Youhei---IDIOCY.
"I'm glad."
Damn him.
"I better go then. Call me if you would."
"I will."
I nodded and started towards the door.
"Wait."
That's what I always do, don't I? I stopped, my hand on the knob.
"I'm sorry, You-kun, for all the pain and hurting I've caused, for everything. I understand that you want to take our relationship to another level, but the thing is, I can't promise you that it would happen... for now."
And that was all I needed to hear. Call me more than stupid or worse but I'd be glad to gamble, to risk everything I have once again. I don't know why but I have, I am and I still would.
"I'm willing to wait, Akira. I'm willing to wait."
I turned to open the door knowing that tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, or even until the time it would happen, I would always be coming back and wait.
Sendou Akira, the things you do to me.
Author's Notes: That's it. Just taking a break from schoolwork. Pressure on the first two weeks. You tell me.