I know I'm not Athena.

I know I'm not Athena 'cause I

Peel my armor, peel it back.

Bow and arrow, horse and pack.

I lose my armor...

For you.

Her finger traced a circle around her navel; cool bare skin underneath her even cooler fingertips. She supposed that if someone were to have stepped into her room just then, they might have guessed from the glazed look in her eyes that she was more than just a little out of it.

Her hair would leave a damp spot on the bed sheets, but she didn't really care. She knew she should get up soon to dry her hair and get dressed, but...

Right now, she didn't really feel like moving.

At all.

Her left shoulder felt sore from when she'd dislocated it the other night. Her body had overworked itself during her private training session. Her body wasn't as strong as she would have liked, but she, as her teacher had put it, 'had a talent for genjutsu.' Nothing too spectacular, but just strong enough for it to be acknowledged. Unfortunately, she wasn't as strong as the person who had managed to monopolize all of that Sasuke's attention.

The past two weeks had been quiet. Her teammates and teacher were on their mission and without them; she really didn't have much to do. Well, besides a conversation or two with Ino.

Ino was what most boys considered 'hot.' Guys always gave her the once-over when she walked into the room. Sakura, herself, got these looks too, but it was never with the same type of appreciative glance that Ino got. It couldn't be helped, she supposed, after all, Ino was blonde and had a tendency to wear short and tight outfits.

Their virginity. That was what had been the topic of conversation during their usual meeting at the usual coffee shop.

"When do you think you'll finally do it?"

"Who do you think it'll be with?"

"Where could you do it without getting caught by anyone?'

All questions from Ino, of course, because Sakura could not, for the most part, even fathom the idea of having sex with anyone. Well, she could picture herself and Sasuke in that way, but since that was a long lost impossibility, she saw no reason to entertain herself with any more of those thoughts.

It had been a bigger mistake than she had first thought; loving Sasuke for as long as she did. Most girls grew out of their preteen crushes once they start noticing other boys, boys who actually paid attention to them. Boys who actually wanted to go on dates with them. But Sakura had foolishly focused all of her time and energy on silky eyes and a slick smirk.

They were all sixteen now, and it was that age. The age when everyone had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Not even because they all of a sudden particularly started to like each other, but because it was just that age when people paired off in that way. Hormones, the adults called it.

Now it was too late for her, because everyone already had someone. There were no boys to experiment with, let alone lose her virginity to. Ino was planning on doing it this weekend. Yet another race she had lost.

But it wasn't that big of a deal.

Sakura really couldn't imagine letting a guy touch her in that way and actually enjoying it. Though she would die before admitting it, last year she had let a boy stick his tongue in her month and his hand up her shirt. Promptly afterwards, she had gone to the bathroom and vomited. Fortunately for her, he had been extremely drunk and could not clearly remember the night's events the next day. He had asked her about it, and she had simply given him a look and told him he was out of his mind. Because why the hell would she let him do that to her?

Her stomach turned just from the memory of it.

It had been sloppy, wet, and thoroughly unpleasant. She couldn't understand how some girls enjoyed getting groped by clumsy and rough hands. What joy came from saliva all over your mouth? It was nothing like in the movies.

But, still

Those girls had someone to call at night. Someone who made them giggle. Someone to get dressed up for, to get excited about.

She wanted someone to excite her.

The way Sasuke used to before he'd shattered her all of her hope. Someone who would make her lose her breath, heart pound, knees weak. All that stupid stuff. She wanted it all, because it wasn't fair that she got left out of that, too.

There were enough things in her life that she was already left out of.

With that in mind, she sighed and got up. Procrastination could only buy time for so long. They'd be back any minute now and she had agreed to meet them at the gate. Or rather, she'd been ordered to.

/I hate boys. They're all idiots./

She raised her brows in surprise.

They looked fine.

From where she stood at the gate, at least. Maybe she should have just gone on that mission, after all.

"Sakura-chaaan"

That idiot was kind of cute, she had to admit. The first year they'd been assigned as teammates had been spent trying not to hate him. The second year had been a process of learning to respect him; the third allowed her to gain a sense of camaraderie with him. And the fourth year...

Well...

She'd gotten used to him. Sure, Naruto was still annoying as hell and had absolutely no manners, but now she was used to it. And at least now he would go into a secluded area of the forest when he had to take a piss, instead of just doing it right in front of her like he used to. She giggled at the memory.

/That idiot./

"Naruto, stop yelling out my name like that," Sakura scolded him when he ran up to her. But the smile on her face was real. It was nice, after all, having someone excited to see you.

"Heehee," he answered, a big sheepish smile on his face. Naruto really was cute, she thought, in that annoying bratty little brother kind of way.

"Sakura."

That was Sasuke.

The four years with him had been enlightening as well. Her heart still did flutter, just the slightest bit, at the sight of him. But really, his looks could cause that for anyone, not just her.

"Okaeri," she said softly. He nodded in reply, a half smirk on his lips. It would have just been a smile, but with Sasuke it somehow always turned out a smirk. Just another one of his annoyingly captivating qualities.

A lock of rosy hair fell in her eyes, causing her to make a face. She'd tied it all up on the top of her head before she had left the house, her mother had warned her it was especially windy today.

"So, how was it?" she asked them, eyes glancing around for the yet to be seen third figure.

/Where's that idiot teacher?/

Naruto was talking, she knew that, but she stopped listening as soon as she heard that 'Poof.'

"Stop waving around your arms like that, Naruto, you'll poke someone's eyes out," was his greeting. She laughed at her blond teammate's angry face.

To any passerby, it would have seemed as though he were a horrible teacher. Instead of watching his students, his attention was solely focused on the dirty book he was reading. He was slouched on a bench with one arm behind his head as support. Even the one part of his body that was visible, his right eye, looked half closed.

But she knew better. He teacher was eerily perceptive, nothing was ever missed with him. When he bothered to pay the slightest attention, that was. Right now, there was a very good chance that he was completely focused on only that stupid little orange book he always carried around. There was also just as good a chance that he was alert to every little ant that entered within a 20 yard radius of them.

Getting up from her where she had been sitting on the grass, she walked to where he was. He turned a page, eyes never leaving his book, even as he spoke.

"What's the matter Sakura?"

She sat down beside him, but didn't look at him. He wasn't the only one who could do that.

"Nothing," she answered. And nothing really was the matter, besides her life and all.

//

She had sat down too quickly and without even thinking, because who ever actually thinks when they sit down? They were a little too close. Just a little. The side of her thigh was fully touching his and so was her arm. They weren't pressed against each other, but it was close enough so that they were touching. Touching without having to, because there was more than enough room for the both of them to sit comfortably without touching each other.

She didn't move.

Curiosity was to blame. Sakura never really had the chance to sit next to someone like this. Because if she had sat this close to Naruto, he probably would have jumped up in shock or yelled excitedly in her ear with mindless babbling. Sasuke, on the other hand, would have moved away immediately or gotten up and left. And if she sat close next to any other boy her age, he would have thought she was flirting with him. The last thing she needed was some stupid boy thinking she liked him.

So now she had the chance to sit next to someone of the opposite sex that wasn't related to her and see for herself just what it felt like to touch. Not fumble or grab, but just to be close enough to feel warmth from another body. It was a perfect opportunity, because she didn't have to worry about the guy she was sitting next to trying to make a move on her. That's all they ever wanted to do: stick their sweaty hands under your skirt and slobber all over your face. Why girls let them do this was beyond her.

So they sat like that, he 'reading' and she staring at something not really in the distance. His arm felt hard compared to her own, and she guessed it was because she was a girl and girls just had soft arms. It felt sturdy and strong. This was different from when they touched during his push-ups, because to be his extra weight, Sakura had to touch him. But right now, there was no real reason for them to touch. Because when you touched someone without really having to, it meant that you were doing it just for the touch. Touching just to feel.

/This is...all right.../

They weren't leaning into each other, but if she had leaned in, his shoulder would have been there for her head to rest on. The slit on her skirt let some skin touch him, but he was completely covered, so skin never met skin. Which was good, she supposed, because that might have been weird. But it felt okay, knowing that there was someone touching her.

Maybe more than okay – kind of nice.

Kind of.

It was only 'kind of' because a little bit of nervousness was clawing at her.

She knew he wouldn't move away. Because if he did, then he would be acknowledging the fact that they were sitting too close. And if he acknowledged that, yes, they were indeed sitting too close to each other; he would be bringing attention to the fact that they had been sitting that way for quite some time now. And that would have been wholly inappropriate.

She also knew that she wouldn't move because it would be too embarrassing. She didn't have a real reason to get up and leave, and he would know if she were lying. If she moved away, then it would have meant that she'd felt uncomfortable touching him. And if she felt uncomfortable, it meant she had felt something other than annoyance and exasperation from her teacher. And that was really way too embarrassing.

This wasn't the nervousness she used to get around Sasuke. It didn't make her feel like she'd explode, nor did it hamper her breathing. Instead, it was just a general sense of. 'what now?' She didn't want him to think that she had a crush on him.

/Hell no! What if he thinks I like him in that way?!/

She willed her hands to stop fidgeting with the hem of her skirt, she knew that he would pick up on it right away. Her breaths were also being steadily controlled, because he would also notice it if she were to start breathing abnormally. Shit, he always noticed everything! What if he were to-

"That's it for today!"

She let out a yelp when he abruptly stood up. She seemed to being doing a lot of that these days. But at least now she could stop worrying about what to do. Her sigh of relief from the previous tension calmed her and she looked up as her teammates lined up in front of their teacher. They were going to go to the cliffs, they said, to finish their battle.

Of course they were.

"We're going to take a trip tomorrow. We'll meet here when it gets dark," and then after a moment added, "all of us."

Sakura's eye twitched.

/Go to hell./

She stood up after the boys had ran off, offhandedly noticing that her teacher hadn't left yet, he was usually gone by now. Feeling his gaze on her, she turned up at him expectantly.

He was looking at her so intently it unnerved her. It was quiet for a moment too long before she started to get nervous again.

"What are you staring at, sensei?" she asked rudely, because that was the way she always talked to him.

"Nothing really," he said, a smile in his voice, "make sure you show up tomorrow. No excuses."

/Yeah, yeah. I get it./

She rolled her eyes at him and was about to leave but...

He did the strangest thing.

Quickly, so quickly that she almost didn't see it, his fingertips brushed her hair out of her eyes. It was nothing really, because it wasn't as if he'd touched her lips or even really her face.

But still

He'd never touched her like that before. Touched her just to touch her.

//

Her skin still tingled when she went to bed that night.

I know Sakura might seem OOC, but I think that a significant change takes place between the ages of 12 and 16. So the thoughts and experiences she has now would be different than when she had been 12. Also, I'm trying to make her more realistic than she is in the manga. Because although I worship Kishimoto-sensei for his genius creation of this wonderful manga, he really has not been depicting young girls' emotions in a good light. Hopefully, I can make Sakura someone who more girls can relate to.

Pretty arrogant of me, huh?

But yeah, this story is going somewhat slow. The next chapter should have much more interactions between Kakashi and Sakura.

And since people asked,

Reasons this story is rated R:

1) To keep out underage readers. (Not that it ever really works)

2 ) Language. Not just 'fuck,' but the language I use in general in this story is not really suitable for younguns.

3) Content. There will be what can be called 'graphic content.' Not now, but there will be. However, this story's focus is not about luvvywuffy feelings Sakura has for her 'super duper hot sensei! cool!!'. If you're looking for that, you should stop reading.

4) Also, Sakura is 16 here, and Kakashi is 30. I'm not going to change her age just so that it be all nice and legal. She'll be 16 during and at the end of the story. I'm not trying to make things socially acceptable and politically correct. 'Kay?

Okay then. Thanks to all the reviewers. And if you're interested in being a beta-reader for this, e-mail me. Thanks.