Staring in the mirror as I

Start to carefully contemplate

Just really how deep is this thing

I have for you ?

Naruto and Sasuke ran back and forth, the each of them refusing to lose to the other. In terms of stamina, Naruto was the winner. He wasn't human when it came to his stamina, more like a force of nature; relentless and seemingly endless. But when it came to skill, there was never a question as to who dominated. Sasuke was as deadly as he was beautiful.

There was never a dull moment while watching the two of them.

It was also somewhat annoying. The boys got like that – annoying – when they involved her in their competitions. It was Naruto who asked first, wanting her share of the deliveries. He always wanted more, as if making a few more runs around the village and forest would aid in his quest of becoming Hokage. Then it was Sasuke who asked, because he never asked until Naruto did. And he never wanted to lose to that 'complete idiot' if he had any say in it. She'd given them the rest of her packages – arguing with them would have no use, she knew this from experience. The Forest of Death wasn't exactly a place she enjoyed running around anyway.

Back and forth. Forth and back.

It's strange the way you can watch a pendulum swing for hours at a time. It can drive you insane in its repetition, but your eyes keep following it. As long as it has a direction, everything will follow. Sasuke and Naruto had direction.

That was another difference between her and them. She didn't invite danger. In fact, she avoided it at all costs. While they liked to test their strength and thrived on the adrenaline, Sakura was quite happy coming home without a scratch on her peachy skin. She did what she had to do, violence didn't become her.

Sometimes, at the oddest or most random of moments, satisfaction came and laid its spell on you before you could even register the first sign of just being content. It happened sometimes when she was alone, not really thinking about anything, just lying on her back and taking in deep breaths. Or sometimes when Naruto did something stupid and she and Sasuke would laugh before having time to think about holding back.

It happened like now. Her teacher sat on a tree stump, reading his book and enjoying the shade.

Seeing him there, it just...

It made everything all right. He always made her feel better. Perhaps it was a conditioned response, because Kakashi was always there to assure her things would be all right. She'd gotten used to seeking relief from him.

Kakashi has a soft spot for you.

When her dark-haired teammate had made that comment, she'd brushed it off. But now, when she really thought about it, she couldn't help but think that maybe her teacher had always been nicer to her than to the boys. It was most likely because she was a girl, she thought. But still he never yelled at her. Mostly because Sasuke and Naruto took up most of his attention...

She sat on his lap.

There was nothing really strange about it. Girls always sat on their father's laps, and their uncles' and grandfathers'. It was a sign of being comfortable.

She sat on his left thigh, her knees bumping against the inside of his right knee. Her arms were kept crossed against her chest and she kept her eyes carefully positioned on a twig on the ground about twelve yards away from where they were. He didn't move. She knew he wouldn't.

"Ugh."

A sudden breeze blew her hair in her face, strawberry strands sticking to her lip glossed mouth. She tried to pull her hair back behind her ears and he laughed at the face she made as she did so. Sakura smiled at him. When his attention was back on his book, she let herself lean against him, trying to hide a smile as his arm moved to rest behind her, instead of squeezed against his side.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

This was fun, she thought, giggling. When she felt him pause, she buried her face into that spot between his shoulders to muffle her laughter. He continued.

Up.

"988"

Down.

She tightened her arms around his neck, this was far more difficult than just sitting on his back. Pull-up's required her to use her strength, too. Slipping off of his back and landing on her behind would not do at all, considering that the ground was more than fifteen feet below them.

She wondered if he was aware of just how intimate this was. Her chest pressed right up against his back, her arms wound tightly around his neck. She could feel everything, as could he. Or, did he just see it with the same indifference as he saw most things he encountered? But how could he be indifferent about this?

Sakura wiggled, wondering if his hitched breath was caused by her or just an effect of a near-to-ending tiring workout. She'd never held anyone like this, she realized. And, for a brief, blushing moment, she wondered what it would feel like if it was the other way around, with him holding her like that.

"1000!"

Her eyes widened and her legs automatically wrapped around him as he suddenly jumped down to the ground without warning.

This was, of course, the part where she would hop off his back

Arms loosened, but held steadfast. She held her breath and for a moment, there was silence. The wind's rustle, birds' chirping, their breathing, but she was deaf to all of it. Her mind wasn't really registering what she was actually doing. She was too old for a piggyback ride, too old before he even became her teacher. But, this felt nice. And Sakura liked feeling nice, because it wasn't that often she felt that way.

He said nothing and walked back to the village with her on his back.

The wind rustled again. She could hear it now.

Sakura plopped down on the ground between his legs. She drew her knees up to her chest and hugged them, only her cheek touching him as it rested on his thigh, right above his knee.

Her eyes hurt. They were usually tired and a little red after her meetings with Kurenai-sensei, but today they just hurt. It was a throbbing sort of pain, the kind that came in dull waves, building and building until she was sure that something would explode.

He glanced down at her, noting that her eyes had closed and her brow was wrinkled in distress or concentration ,or both.

"Are you all right, Sakura?"

Her forehead rubbed against his knee before she let out a long, ragged breath.

"I just... I just need some rest, is all."

Today had been a particularly difficult day. Kurenai didn't put up with bullshit, not from anyone. So when she'd taken Sakura on as a student, she expected full commitment. They'd really pushed it today, she thought. Her sore eyes and back were proof of that.

When she felt his hand gently squeeze her shoulder, she opened her minty eyes and smiled up at him, weakly and gratefully.

"How is it coming along?"

Turning her body around so that it faced his, she yawned and stretched like a cat at his feet.

"Fine. She's really smart. Kurenai-sensei, that is."

His eyebrow, a perfect line of silver, arched at this.

"Smart compared to...?"

Sakura yawned again and turned her head so that he could only see her profile. She perched her chin on his knee, a teasing smile spreading on her pink lips.

"You. You're an idiot, Kakashi-sensei."

It's wearing on my heart

And from the start you know I tried,

Steadily denied...

It was starting to get dark, the sky a dusky lavender. Chilling and maybe warming her, the night breeze shyly wove in and out around her.

"Sakura, we're leaving." Sasuke called.

She gave him a smile, but shook her head gently.

"I'm going to wait for Kakashi-sensei. You guys go on ahead."

Pretty black eyes narrowed at her.

"Sakura-chaaan! Aren't you tired from today's mission?! We'll walk you home!"

She shook her head again.

"That's okay, Naruto, you guys go on ahead."

/Dammit! Why the hell are you guys so annoying?!/

When they finally left, albeit hesitantly, she sat on the ground and sighed. She was tired from today's mission.

/Tsunade-sama should get the Gennin to fetch her documents!/

"....gennin..."

It seemed like things were happening so quickly. Memories of days at the academy and memorizing line after line of history textbooks danced around in her head. Now they were chuunin. It was somewhat new to her, since she'd only become one a few months ago. Sasuke and Naruto had received their promotion two years ago.

And now...

Now they were already talking about becoming jounin. Which was, in fact, something that would most likely happen in the not-so-distant future.

//

She would never make it to jounin status, she knew. And that was all right. It really was. Butbut then that would mean the end.

Jounin didn't stay as 3-man teams. As soon as Naruto and Sasuke advanced, she would be left behind. She laid her arms on her knees and buried her face in them. It was so...

Frustrating.

"What's the matter with you? Are you going to be sick?"

/Idiot teacher./

"I'm fine. I was just waiting for you. What took you so long?" she demanded as she stood up, brushing dirt off the back of her dress.

He paused. Then cleared his throat.

"Grown-up's have things they need to discuss..." was all he said as they started walking. Sakura bristled at his answer.

/Grown-ups?! I'm ten times more grown-up than you!/

But she swallowed her pride and stepped into pace with him. She counted to fifty before hooking her arm through his, just something she was trying out.

They walked like that for a few minutes and just when she looked up to see how the sky was already black and the moon big and white and low, he stopped. She looked up at him expectantly, he was silent for just enough time to make her nervous.

"Sakura."

She shivered.

"Yes?"

Her fingers brushed up and down the inside of his forearm.

"Sakura," he said slowly and deliberately, "you have to stop this."

He looked straight ahead, unblinking and unfeeling.

"Stop what?" Her voice was soft and curious. Innocent. Right.

"Whatever you think it is that you're feeling, it's temporary. You're young, and"

/Shut up./

"aren't thinking clearly"

/Shut up./

He stopped then, threw his head back and let out a long tired breath. This tactic wasn't going to get him anywhere.

"Look, I'm flattered, okay?"

He gave her one of his infuriating smiles and patted her on the head, only to get his hand slapped away.

Smack.

His smile disappeared.

"Don't touch me!"

She definitely had his full attention now. His hand had dropped back to his side, and his eyes were fully open and staring at her in surprise. It was nerve-wracking to have him look at her so intently, but she was angry. Hurt, even.

This wasn't one of those moments where he could be flaky or cruel. A simple nod and he turned to leave.

"I'm sorry," he said over his shoulder.

/No, wait!/

"No, wait!"

What was it that always made her say whatever she was thinking to him?

He stopped in his tracks and faced her, because to not have would have meant he cared.

"I didn't.... you know," she said lamely, "I didn't mean it like that."

/Shit! This is so embarrassing!/

A blush rose up to her face and she turned her head to the side, avoiding his questioning gaze. Her hands held onto her skirt so tightly her knuckles turned white.

"I-I mean..."

He took a step closer.

"I only meant that I don't want you to touch me like that." her words rushing one right after the other. "Don't pat me on the head like I'm a little kid! Because I'm not!"

/What the hell am I saying?!/

"You can touch me... I want you to touch me."

Oops.

"I mean," she stammered, "I mean you can touch me, like you're allowed to-"

He was standing right in front of her. When had he gotten so close?

"I didn't mean, you know, that"

His hand reached down to raise her chin, forcing her to look up at him. He'd looked at her a thousand times before, yet it was only now she had the urge to hide her face in her hands.

"I like it when you touch me," she whispered weakly, forgetting how to be herself as he traced his thumb along her jaw.

Thump. Thump.

Her heart pulsed against her ribs as if trying to escape as his fingers moved down to her neck, searching her face for something, nothing, anything.

"This," he asked, "is all right?"

Her head moved on its own, nodding without her mind's consent. At this, his fingers moved further down, lightly touching her collarbone, gaze never leaving her face. Things she didn't know she could feel, things she didn't know she'd been suppressing for so long, they were all suddenly surfacing and she didn't know what to do.

She knew what was going to happen if she stayed, but she couldn't imagine leaving.

This was crazy. This was crazy. Sasuke or Naruto could come back at any given moment and see them like this. And what were they doing? She was just standing there, her arms at her sides, legs frozen, hands trembling. And he was standing so close to her, so close that if either of them moved forward an inch, the front of their bodies would be pressed up against each other. Didn't kissing come first? Her mind was clear enough so that she remembered that much. First came kissing, then...

"This is crazy," she breathed out, wanting to laugh but not sure that she could.

His hand paused when she spoke.

"Do you..." she whispered, stepping away from him, "do you know what you are doing right now?"

"Do you know what you're doing right now? Who you're touching?" her voice hitched, desperate and blind, "Do you know? Do you?"

He reached for her but she shook her head.

"Don't lie. Don't ever lie. Tell me the truth always, no matter what it'll do to me. Please, always the truth."

/Please/

"Never promise me anything you're unsure of, I don't need them. I don't need promises. I don't."

/Don't /

"Don't ever ignore me. You don't have to be nice, but don't ever act like I'm not there."

/I'm already crying/

"And please, please don't touch me unless you mean it. Don't ever don't ever touch me without meaning it."

His hesitance might have meant confusion, she knew, but he would understand enough. It'd be enough.

It wasn't the first time he'd seen her cry, but she couldn't help but think that he had never seen her like this before. He'd never seen her before.

And then..

.....his hand was in her hair. Softly, because there was no other way for it to be. Carefully, because she could break. Assuredly, because he meant it.

"All right," he said, "I won't."

Don't try to understand me.

Your hands already know too much anyway.

Author's Note:

Hmm.. I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. The first two chapters were written in four days. This one chapter took almost a week because I wasn't sure of what direction I was taking this story. I hope you guys like it. If not, tell me why so I can get better! Feedback is really appreciated.

I want to write action scenes... but I don't know how. I'll work on it though, without it this story seems lacking, no?

P.S. I am allergic to Sasuke/Sakura. Blech.


Thank you to all the reviewers. They make me want to write and keep me from abandoning this story. And to all those who offered to beta this story, I'll held you up to it! However, I'm only going to have certain chapters beta-read. So thank you all of volunteering.