A.N. – Sorry for the delay, thank you for the reviews! I'm glad you're all
still reading.
As much as I had dreaded seeing my father, it was completely different once he wrapped his arms around me. I nearly collapsed against him with relief. I was flooded with memories of being a child and running into his arms after a long day away from him. He was hugging me so tightly; I wondered if he was reminiscing about the past as well. As I sat there, smelling his familiar cologne, I could have been that 7-year-old girl who a father could protect, no matter what the world threw at us.
Finally he let go of me, and I noticed his eyes watering slightly. "Gosh, honey. I didn't mean to squeeze you so tight. You get older every time I see you." He chuckled and wiped his face.
I shrugged meekly and smiled. "I don't mind." I looked to him honestly. "I missed you too."
His smiled seemed to get impossibly bigger. He opened the door to his car. I glanced at it. "A BMW, dad?" I laughed a bit as I sat down inside. It even smelled of new car. "Fancy."
My dad opened his door and got in beside me. He looked like he'd never stop smiling. "Actually, it's a rental. But if you like this, maybe one for your sweet 16th, eh?" He winked at me and reached over, tickling my chin. "Although I don't think you could get any sweeter."
"Dad," I scolded him, even though I was flattered.
A new car for my birthday? A tingle jumped across my skin. We both fastened our seatbelts, before he pulled out of the Degrassi parking lot. I watched the school in the side mirror get smaller and smaller, until there was nothing left. I tried to suppress a sigh. I didn't want Dad to see how bad things were, even though he knew the situation. Instead I squeezed my knees to remind myself to be pleasant and happy. "So how's business?"
He glanced over at me; he seemed surprised I would ask. "Well, you know." He shrugged half-heartedly. "It's the same as ever. Keeps me quite busy."
"Yeah, I noticed." I looked down. "The last letter went unanswered."
"That's because I knew I was coming to see you in person!" he was trying to be enthusiastic. "I'm much better in person then I am on paper."
"Dad, 7 months ago?" I stared at him now. I could see the harsh lines on his face, and the little wrinkles that collected when he frowned. His eyes didn't meet mine. They seemed clouded over.
He didn't seem so inviting and cheerful anymore. I tried to shake my head of the negative thoughts that were already starting to bring me down. I wondered if I burdened mom with this all the time. Was it things like this that drove her to our current situation?
He pulled the car over smoothly and I looked to see we were home. I undid my seatbelt and stood up, heaving a sigh. The small hope that had been building in my stomach seemed to be clutched by fear now, dragging me back towards the uneasiness that ate away at me. As I tried to gather my courage, my father had come around and put his arm across my shoulders. "Everything will be alright, Ash."
I mustered a smile, and nodded to him in return. We both marched to the front door that swung open once we reached the porch. My mother practically flew out and latched onto my father, giving him an over zealous hug and a production of a kiss on the cheek. "Ohh!" She was gushing at the sight of him. "It's so good to see you again!"
I hung back, watching the display, as the two talked excitedly, like nothing was wrong at all. Finally, their smiles faded as they both turned in my direction, finally noticing my presence. Two sets of eyes cast downwards, before my mother took charge and turned, gracefully capturing my father by the arm as she led him inside. "Come inside, please!"
I followed in silence, looking around my home as if it were some new place. My mother was scurrying to the kitchen, asking rapid-fire questions to my father who was patiently answering them, with a mixture of amusement and pride. I slid up the stairs and opened the door to my room, and the sight made me catch my heart in my throat. The room in front of me held bare walls, a disassembled bed, and several boxes stacked neatly in the middle of the room. I took a staggering step foreword, casting my eyes around, seeing everything was ready to be taken. Who had done this?
Overcome by emotion, I dropped onto a nearby box, as a sob escaped my throat. Unfortunately, it was immediately followed by a squeal as the top of the box gave way under my weight and my behind came in contact with some cloth. I blinked and tried to sit up, all of my midsection stuck in the box. My feet dangled a few inches of the ground, as I struggled to free myself. I saw a figure looming in the doorway, and noticed Toby had come to my rescue. His lips were quirked as he tried to suppress a grin.
"It's not funny!" I snapped. "Help me up."
He finally let loose the laugh he had been holding in and walked over, taking my outstretched arms and tugging. Once I got to my feet, I looked at him, a bit softer now. As I gazed at Toby who was still chuckling at me, I realized that I was actually going to miss him. Before I knew it, we were tangled in an awkward hug. I just held on to ride it out, while Toby squirmed in surprise. "Ashley?"
I rushed to explain. "Toby, I know we've had our differences, but I'm really going to miss you." Something flared inside me, "Even though you ratted me out."
He flinched somewhat and gazed up at me with an apologetic look from his glasses. He gave a resigned sigh and looked away from me. "I didn't want to, but I was really scared."
I gulped down anything else bitter I had to say. This wasn't the place. "You did the right thing," I admitted quietly.
This time we looked at each other, and hugged automatically. More like family. Tears were forming behind my eyes, so I squeezed them shut as we parted. I rubbed at them with my hands, trying to be inconspicuous. Fortunately, Toby was backing out of my room. "You promise to call?"
I let out a small laugh. It seemed so ironic that we were trying to keep in contact with each other when we'd spent so much time detesting each other. Now I felt like a small part of me was being lost. I had never wanted a brother, but looking back, I realized that I had adopted the position of an older sister quite easily. It wasn't ever an easy path, but one I had grown accustomed to, non-the-less. Who would take my place? "Of course," I croaked out, on the verge of breaking down again.
He paused, with his hand on my door handle. "And Ash, no one could take your place."
I smiled, tears now inevitable. They came to my eyes, no matter how hard I willed them back. As Toby turned to leave, I saw my dad at the top of the stairs. "Ash?" He came to me and placed his hands on my shoulders, gazing at me full of concern. "What is it?"
I shrugged helplessly. "Goodbyes are hard." The truth knotted against my words. Once again, I felt like I was watching everything happening, not really living this surreal life.
He chose to remain silent, but took a step back and smiled a bit. "Your mom has offered us to stay for dinner. You know, a last chance. Maybe make those goodbyes less hard?" He tilted his head, trying to bring any light he could to the dark.
I don't think he understood how loaded the goodbyes would be. So complicated, nothing could be harder. I sighed, trying to get this thought to stop circling around my head. He was beckoning me downstairs, but I shook my head. "Actually, I'm not hungry. I think I'm just going to go for a walk." I noted the look of hurt on his face, and quickly added, "If that's alright."
He gave a disapproving sigh, but nodded grudgingly. "Alright, sweetheart."
I slipped on a jacket and emerged in the chilly night, setting out as the last of the sun hovered in the air. I didn't know where I was going. I just let my heavy boots carry me along. I don't think I could have stuck to a planned route anyway since my mind was in a fog. When I finally stopped, I looked up and saw that I had come to Degrassi. I wasn't bewildered by my choice. Instead, I felt some comfort. As I made my way towards it, I couldn't help but feel some comfort. Degrassi had been consistent in my life through the good and bad. And now, sitting on the steps, I felt a sadness of leaving the school behind wash over me. More irony, I suppose. Most days I was either so stressed about making sure all my hard work went through for the school, or wishing I could be as far away from it as I could from all the teenage drama floating in the air.
The lights covered me, as I sat in front of the main entrance. I felt, for the first time in days, peaceful.
I sat there with my knees hugged to my chest, soaking up the quiet calm. I heard a rustle of bushes beside me. I jumped back, my heart immediately speeding up. There was another rustle, down to my right. I narrowed my eyes, as I slowly lifted myself from the stairs and carefully made my way to the bottom, and in front of the bush. Through the limited light, I could see flashes of blue behind the dense amount of foliage. I pitched my hands foreword and grasped at the figure, hauling them forward. Unfortunately, they were light, causing us both to spring, and sprawl to the ground. I thudded against the sidewalk, cursing the number of times I had fallen today, before looking over at the captor. I gaped, to see a guilty Emma Nelson, sitting up and groaning from similar pain.
As much as I had dreaded seeing my father, it was completely different once he wrapped his arms around me. I nearly collapsed against him with relief. I was flooded with memories of being a child and running into his arms after a long day away from him. He was hugging me so tightly; I wondered if he was reminiscing about the past as well. As I sat there, smelling his familiar cologne, I could have been that 7-year-old girl who a father could protect, no matter what the world threw at us.
Finally he let go of me, and I noticed his eyes watering slightly. "Gosh, honey. I didn't mean to squeeze you so tight. You get older every time I see you." He chuckled and wiped his face.
I shrugged meekly and smiled. "I don't mind." I looked to him honestly. "I missed you too."
His smiled seemed to get impossibly bigger. He opened the door to his car. I glanced at it. "A BMW, dad?" I laughed a bit as I sat down inside. It even smelled of new car. "Fancy."
My dad opened his door and got in beside me. He looked like he'd never stop smiling. "Actually, it's a rental. But if you like this, maybe one for your sweet 16th, eh?" He winked at me and reached over, tickling my chin. "Although I don't think you could get any sweeter."
"Dad," I scolded him, even though I was flattered.
A new car for my birthday? A tingle jumped across my skin. We both fastened our seatbelts, before he pulled out of the Degrassi parking lot. I watched the school in the side mirror get smaller and smaller, until there was nothing left. I tried to suppress a sigh. I didn't want Dad to see how bad things were, even though he knew the situation. Instead I squeezed my knees to remind myself to be pleasant and happy. "So how's business?"
He glanced over at me; he seemed surprised I would ask. "Well, you know." He shrugged half-heartedly. "It's the same as ever. Keeps me quite busy."
"Yeah, I noticed." I looked down. "The last letter went unanswered."
"That's because I knew I was coming to see you in person!" he was trying to be enthusiastic. "I'm much better in person then I am on paper."
"Dad, 7 months ago?" I stared at him now. I could see the harsh lines on his face, and the little wrinkles that collected when he frowned. His eyes didn't meet mine. They seemed clouded over.
He didn't seem so inviting and cheerful anymore. I tried to shake my head of the negative thoughts that were already starting to bring me down. I wondered if I burdened mom with this all the time. Was it things like this that drove her to our current situation?
He pulled the car over smoothly and I looked to see we were home. I undid my seatbelt and stood up, heaving a sigh. The small hope that had been building in my stomach seemed to be clutched by fear now, dragging me back towards the uneasiness that ate away at me. As I tried to gather my courage, my father had come around and put his arm across my shoulders. "Everything will be alright, Ash."
I mustered a smile, and nodded to him in return. We both marched to the front door that swung open once we reached the porch. My mother practically flew out and latched onto my father, giving him an over zealous hug and a production of a kiss on the cheek. "Ohh!" She was gushing at the sight of him. "It's so good to see you again!"
I hung back, watching the display, as the two talked excitedly, like nothing was wrong at all. Finally, their smiles faded as they both turned in my direction, finally noticing my presence. Two sets of eyes cast downwards, before my mother took charge and turned, gracefully capturing my father by the arm as she led him inside. "Come inside, please!"
I followed in silence, looking around my home as if it were some new place. My mother was scurrying to the kitchen, asking rapid-fire questions to my father who was patiently answering them, with a mixture of amusement and pride. I slid up the stairs and opened the door to my room, and the sight made me catch my heart in my throat. The room in front of me held bare walls, a disassembled bed, and several boxes stacked neatly in the middle of the room. I took a staggering step foreword, casting my eyes around, seeing everything was ready to be taken. Who had done this?
Overcome by emotion, I dropped onto a nearby box, as a sob escaped my throat. Unfortunately, it was immediately followed by a squeal as the top of the box gave way under my weight and my behind came in contact with some cloth. I blinked and tried to sit up, all of my midsection stuck in the box. My feet dangled a few inches of the ground, as I struggled to free myself. I saw a figure looming in the doorway, and noticed Toby had come to my rescue. His lips were quirked as he tried to suppress a grin.
"It's not funny!" I snapped. "Help me up."
He finally let loose the laugh he had been holding in and walked over, taking my outstretched arms and tugging. Once I got to my feet, I looked at him, a bit softer now. As I gazed at Toby who was still chuckling at me, I realized that I was actually going to miss him. Before I knew it, we were tangled in an awkward hug. I just held on to ride it out, while Toby squirmed in surprise. "Ashley?"
I rushed to explain. "Toby, I know we've had our differences, but I'm really going to miss you." Something flared inside me, "Even though you ratted me out."
He flinched somewhat and gazed up at me with an apologetic look from his glasses. He gave a resigned sigh and looked away from me. "I didn't want to, but I was really scared."
I gulped down anything else bitter I had to say. This wasn't the place. "You did the right thing," I admitted quietly.
This time we looked at each other, and hugged automatically. More like family. Tears were forming behind my eyes, so I squeezed them shut as we parted. I rubbed at them with my hands, trying to be inconspicuous. Fortunately, Toby was backing out of my room. "You promise to call?"
I let out a small laugh. It seemed so ironic that we were trying to keep in contact with each other when we'd spent so much time detesting each other. Now I felt like a small part of me was being lost. I had never wanted a brother, but looking back, I realized that I had adopted the position of an older sister quite easily. It wasn't ever an easy path, but one I had grown accustomed to, non-the-less. Who would take my place? "Of course," I croaked out, on the verge of breaking down again.
He paused, with his hand on my door handle. "And Ash, no one could take your place."
I smiled, tears now inevitable. They came to my eyes, no matter how hard I willed them back. As Toby turned to leave, I saw my dad at the top of the stairs. "Ash?" He came to me and placed his hands on my shoulders, gazing at me full of concern. "What is it?"
I shrugged helplessly. "Goodbyes are hard." The truth knotted against my words. Once again, I felt like I was watching everything happening, not really living this surreal life.
He chose to remain silent, but took a step back and smiled a bit. "Your mom has offered us to stay for dinner. You know, a last chance. Maybe make those goodbyes less hard?" He tilted his head, trying to bring any light he could to the dark.
I don't think he understood how loaded the goodbyes would be. So complicated, nothing could be harder. I sighed, trying to get this thought to stop circling around my head. He was beckoning me downstairs, but I shook my head. "Actually, I'm not hungry. I think I'm just going to go for a walk." I noted the look of hurt on his face, and quickly added, "If that's alright."
He gave a disapproving sigh, but nodded grudgingly. "Alright, sweetheart."
I slipped on a jacket and emerged in the chilly night, setting out as the last of the sun hovered in the air. I didn't know where I was going. I just let my heavy boots carry me along. I don't think I could have stuck to a planned route anyway since my mind was in a fog. When I finally stopped, I looked up and saw that I had come to Degrassi. I wasn't bewildered by my choice. Instead, I felt some comfort. As I made my way towards it, I couldn't help but feel some comfort. Degrassi had been consistent in my life through the good and bad. And now, sitting on the steps, I felt a sadness of leaving the school behind wash over me. More irony, I suppose. Most days I was either so stressed about making sure all my hard work went through for the school, or wishing I could be as far away from it as I could from all the teenage drama floating in the air.
The lights covered me, as I sat in front of the main entrance. I felt, for the first time in days, peaceful.
I sat there with my knees hugged to my chest, soaking up the quiet calm. I heard a rustle of bushes beside me. I jumped back, my heart immediately speeding up. There was another rustle, down to my right. I narrowed my eyes, as I slowly lifted myself from the stairs and carefully made my way to the bottom, and in front of the bush. Through the limited light, I could see flashes of blue behind the dense amount of foliage. I pitched my hands foreword and grasped at the figure, hauling them forward. Unfortunately, they were light, causing us both to spring, and sprawl to the ground. I thudded against the sidewalk, cursing the number of times I had fallen today, before looking over at the captor. I gaped, to see a guilty Emma Nelson, sitting up and groaning from similar pain.