"Johnny," I stage whispered at him. It was night and I was spooked.
Nothing is scarier for a city kid than the woods at night. Something
scratched at the church outside.
"Yeah?" he answered in his sleepy voice. He was nearly asleep and didn't open his eyes.
"There's a monster outside,"
"What? We're gonna be o.k., Ponyboy," Then he was asleep. I thought it was easier for him to sleep here cause he slept outside all the time anyway. During the day with the sunlight I had almost convinced myself that a dream was all it was, so Johnny bought a book, so what? It didn't prove anything. But at night I knew the truth.
"Johnny?" No answer, just the steadiness of his breathing. I got up slowly, sure that every creak would wake Johnny. But it didn't, he slept.
I felt like I'd been given a second chance and I had to take it, and I thought I'd figured out how. I crept over to the food, broke off a few crumbs of bread and baloney and scattered them. I had all the food in my arms and looked over at Johnny. Still sleeping. I tried to be quiet.
Thank God for the moon or I wouldn't have been able to see a damn thing. It hung yellow and full and reflected in the little pond. I made my way down there, stood on the edge, felt the ground shift from solid to boggy under my feet. I threw the food into the center of the pond and it rippled wildly. I glanced back at the church, sure that Johnny had noticed my absence or heard the splash and would be looking for me. He wasn't. I crept back, glad to be going in where Johnny was because I was spooked and lonely. I laid next to him and tried to get some sleep.
I woke up before he did, the late morning sun coming in through the windows and the cracks. I sat up, groped for a cigarette, and tried to psych myself up.
"Johnny!" I said, trying to sound alarmed, surprised, and dismayed all at once. It's like a play, I told myself. He bolted awake and sat up, looking so confused I almost didn't have the heart to go on. Then I remembered how it ends, and even in the strong morning sunlight I knew it was more than a dream.
"What? What's wrong?"
"All the food is gone, some animal must have gotten into it," I stared at the crumbs of bread and baloney. Johnny came over and looked,too.
"Shit," he said, and kicked at the floor.
"You should go to the store, we need more food," I said, glancing at him quick. He was starring at the crumbs and slowly shook his head.
"No, Pony, you better go. You look more disguised," He looked at my blond hair and I touched it self consciously. I could feel my brain scrambling for a way out, he was right, I was more disguised.
"Were you in school on picture day?" I said, still feeling my greaseless blond hair. There was a good chance he wasn't.
"No, so what?"
"So, if you weren't in school on picture day where do you suppose the cops'll get a picture of you?" His parents sure as shit didn't have any.
"And," I went on, merrily seeing my way now, I knew I could convince him to go to that damn store, "if they have your description what will it say? Black hair and brown eyes? A teenager? Plenty of teenagers fit that description," He thought about it. I could see him thinking, Soda was like that,too. You see smoke.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," he said. So he took off toward the store. I watched him go and when I couldn't see him anymore I ran back to the church.
In my dream the original Gone with the Wind book he bought burned up in the fire and he'd asked for another one in the hospital. I grabbed it from the corner it was laying in and took it outside, layed it gently in the grass.
What killed Johnny, and Dally, too, was the fire. And me, too. The fire and those screaming kids. I'd figured out how to save us.
I struck a match and watched the tiny orange flame, touched it to the old dry wood. I lit other matches and threw them into the church. It started to burn, itty bitty wisps of smoke and then flames, licking at the old wood. No kids this time, no teachers standing around doing nothing. No Dally screaming at us and saving us, nope. Just me and the fire, and the smell got into my nose just like before.
The church went up quick. Before I knew it the flames had nearly reached the crazy roof.
"That oughta do it," I mumbled. I picked up the book from where I'd layed it on the grass and shoved it into my back pocket. Then I went to meet Johnny at the store.
"Yeah?" he answered in his sleepy voice. He was nearly asleep and didn't open his eyes.
"There's a monster outside,"
"What? We're gonna be o.k., Ponyboy," Then he was asleep. I thought it was easier for him to sleep here cause he slept outside all the time anyway. During the day with the sunlight I had almost convinced myself that a dream was all it was, so Johnny bought a book, so what? It didn't prove anything. But at night I knew the truth.
"Johnny?" No answer, just the steadiness of his breathing. I got up slowly, sure that every creak would wake Johnny. But it didn't, he slept.
I felt like I'd been given a second chance and I had to take it, and I thought I'd figured out how. I crept over to the food, broke off a few crumbs of bread and baloney and scattered them. I had all the food in my arms and looked over at Johnny. Still sleeping. I tried to be quiet.
Thank God for the moon or I wouldn't have been able to see a damn thing. It hung yellow and full and reflected in the little pond. I made my way down there, stood on the edge, felt the ground shift from solid to boggy under my feet. I threw the food into the center of the pond and it rippled wildly. I glanced back at the church, sure that Johnny had noticed my absence or heard the splash and would be looking for me. He wasn't. I crept back, glad to be going in where Johnny was because I was spooked and lonely. I laid next to him and tried to get some sleep.
I woke up before he did, the late morning sun coming in through the windows and the cracks. I sat up, groped for a cigarette, and tried to psych myself up.
"Johnny!" I said, trying to sound alarmed, surprised, and dismayed all at once. It's like a play, I told myself. He bolted awake and sat up, looking so confused I almost didn't have the heart to go on. Then I remembered how it ends, and even in the strong morning sunlight I knew it was more than a dream.
"What? What's wrong?"
"All the food is gone, some animal must have gotten into it," I stared at the crumbs of bread and baloney. Johnny came over and looked,too.
"Shit," he said, and kicked at the floor.
"You should go to the store, we need more food," I said, glancing at him quick. He was starring at the crumbs and slowly shook his head.
"No, Pony, you better go. You look more disguised," He looked at my blond hair and I touched it self consciously. I could feel my brain scrambling for a way out, he was right, I was more disguised.
"Were you in school on picture day?" I said, still feeling my greaseless blond hair. There was a good chance he wasn't.
"No, so what?"
"So, if you weren't in school on picture day where do you suppose the cops'll get a picture of you?" His parents sure as shit didn't have any.
"And," I went on, merrily seeing my way now, I knew I could convince him to go to that damn store, "if they have your description what will it say? Black hair and brown eyes? A teenager? Plenty of teenagers fit that description," He thought about it. I could see him thinking, Soda was like that,too. You see smoke.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," he said. So he took off toward the store. I watched him go and when I couldn't see him anymore I ran back to the church.
In my dream the original Gone with the Wind book he bought burned up in the fire and he'd asked for another one in the hospital. I grabbed it from the corner it was laying in and took it outside, layed it gently in the grass.
What killed Johnny, and Dally, too, was the fire. And me, too. The fire and those screaming kids. I'd figured out how to save us.
I struck a match and watched the tiny orange flame, touched it to the old dry wood. I lit other matches and threw them into the church. It started to burn, itty bitty wisps of smoke and then flames, licking at the old wood. No kids this time, no teachers standing around doing nothing. No Dally screaming at us and saving us, nope. Just me and the fire, and the smell got into my nose just like before.
The church went up quick. Before I knew it the flames had nearly reached the crazy roof.
"That oughta do it," I mumbled. I picked up the book from where I'd layed it on the grass and shoved it into my back pocket. Then I went to meet Johnny at the store.