This Side of Living
Living Decisions - conclusion
If he had to describe what happened from this end of it, he
wouldn't be sure that he could do a credible job. The
decision he made was so all-encompassing that it made
understanding what came before very difficult. Besides,
if he reflected on the decision he might question what
the choice meant about him. And, having done enough
mental gymnastics for a lifetime, he didn't want to
have to question anything else for a long, long time.
He had been home for a week and a half. It was the
day before Thanksgiving and he was laying in his room.
To be precise, at that point, he was probably thinking
that he was in Andrew's room, in Andrew's house, preparing
to celebrate a holiday he knew nothing about. Thanksgiving
was very much an American creation. He imagined that
he must have looked very confused when his - Andrew's -
mother tried to explain it to him.
On that Wednesday afternoon, he was laying on his
bed, not quite awake. It had been difficult adjusting
to the new surroundings and to the increased physical
therapy. He could walk around some on his own now, but
he was still really weak, hence the wheelchair in the
corner. He really hated that thing; he wanted to be
able to walk on his own...but walking anywhere around the
house wiped him out. He was still recovering from
walking to the kitchen, the dining room, and then
back to his room without assistance. It annoyed the
hell out of him.
As he was recovering, moving back to awareness, he
opened his eyes and saw...nothing. It was like he
was in a black hole or some kind of void. While
he floated there, he saw two lives flash before his
eyes. One was clearly that of Yusuke Urameshi, complete
with ups, downs, and demons. The other life was
Andrew Ikeda, which had its own ups and downs...and
one demon, sixteen-year-old Andrew and the hateful
things he would shout at his mother about their
racial identity.
After the flashes, two doors appeared before him. In
an odd sort of way, he understood what was going on.
He was being presented with a choice: the life of
Urameshi or the life of Ikeda.
It really wasn't an easy choice, in spite of what
people may have thought. He lost something either
way he went. There were things he liked about the
life of a spirit detective, things he hated about
being a normal biracial teenager, and vice versa.
It didn't even help to realize that part of whatever
life he didn't choose would remain with him, in
"translator mode," i.e. a part of him that would
always understand the other side.
Yet, trying to describe his choice now, it seems like
the only one he could have made...in part because
he thought he could do a better job with this life.
Beating demons and rouge spirit detectives while
trapped in another life was near impossible, but
healing a family and thanking an amazing mother...
that was something he could do.
After he made his choice, it was like his entire
life rushed over him. Some things made sense in
ways they hadn't before; other things still confused
the hell out of him, but for the first time, he
felt in control of his head. It was a relief.
Blinking, he made the decision to go find the family.
He knew that all of the immediate family was home.
As he pulled himself out of bed, he slowly began
to walk out of the room. Sure, he probably could
have called for help with the new intercom system
installed in his room, but he wanted to present
this news to them while standing on his own two
feet.
As he neared the dining room, he finally heard their
voices. To be more specific, he heard Betty shout,
"What are we doing this for?!" following by a
soothing reply from his mother.
As he stood in one of the doorways of the dining room,
he leaned on the doorframe as he watched his family.
Gathered around a table with notepads in their hands,
they all seemed to be hard at work at something. His
mother was the only one standing, probably she had
gotten up to encourage Betty. It was odd to see
everyone with his new eyes. That was probably why
he didn't speak right away.
"Hey y'all," he finally said after a few beats, "anything
I can help with?"
Immediately the heads of everyone in the room turned in
his direction.
"Yusuke," his mother began, "you should have called one
of us if you wanted to company. If you had collapsed in
the house somewhere, it could have been hours before anyone
found you!"
"I'm fine," he assured his mother, "it's just that," he
shook his head. "I never expected that to sound weird."
"What do you mean?" his father asked.
"Being called Yusuke. Do you think," he paused slightly,
"that maybe you could call me Andrew again?"
That request met with silence as everyone stared at him.
That kind of attention, of course, just made him nervous,
which made him angry. "What is everyone staring at?! And
Hasu, close your month already! You're attracting flies."
It was probably his use of an old nickname he had for his
baby brother that started to break the ice. After hearing
it, his baby brother blinked and then smiled. "Yep, that's
Andrew. Idiot boy finally got his head on straight."
He laughed as he turned his attention to his older sister,
"And I'm sure this makes you very happy, Betty, as you will
probably start bossing me around immediately. Although I
barely survived your attempt to turn me into a gentleman for
Keiko."
"Oh, Drew," his Betty said with tears in her eyes as she slowly
began to stand.
"Samuel," he said as he looked at his older brother, "it's
a surprise to see you today."
"It is the day before Thanksgiving," Samuel pointed out.
"Which was always a workday for you before. Well, since
your little brother has gotten his head on straight, you
might want to call Barbara so that reschedule all that stuff
that she moved around for you to deal with me."
"Hm," was all that Samuel said as he reached for his
cell.
"You should probably call Samantha, too."
"I just might," Samuel conceded.
"Samantha? But what-" Betty started to ask.
But his attention was on his parents. They were both happy
that he appeared to remember his life, but his mother still
looked wary. That gun-shy look on her face wasn't a real
surprise. He'd been pretty awful to her over the past few
years. She probably was still wondering where she stood.
Knowing what he had to do, what he wanted to do, he
pushed away from the doorframe and walked into the
room. It was a pretty steady walk, a testament to
the therapy from hell. As he reached his mother, he
hugged her and said, "I love you, Mom."
She was frozen in shock for just a second; then she
wrapped her arms around him and put her head on top
of his. She didn't say anything for awhile, just
held him. After a few seconds, he felt something
wet hit his shoulder. "Mom, are you crying?" he
asked.
"No," she managed to get out around a happy sob.
He heard his father said, "Thank God, I really have
my family back," before he felt him hug him and his
mother.
"I see a group hug coming on," Betty said as she joined
the hug. Obviously his brothers were hanging back
because Betty said, "Come on you two! Get over
here. Move it, Hasukawa. NOW!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Hasukawa groused, but
Andrew thought his voice sounded a little watery.
"You too, Samuel," Betty said. "You are a part of
this family, too, old head."
"I am at that," Samuel agreed as he joined the hug.
And in that moment, he knew he had made the right
choice. For all of the aches and pains, battles and
loses in his life, he had been given a gift. The gift
of love, the gift of family. And, as he stood, overheating
in a six person group hug, he knew he was one of
the luckiest people alive.
- the end -
Living Decisions - conclusion
If he had to describe what happened from this end of it, he
wouldn't be sure that he could do a credible job. The
decision he made was so all-encompassing that it made
understanding what came before very difficult. Besides,
if he reflected on the decision he might question what
the choice meant about him. And, having done enough
mental gymnastics for a lifetime, he didn't want to
have to question anything else for a long, long time.
He had been home for a week and a half. It was the
day before Thanksgiving and he was laying in his room.
To be precise, at that point, he was probably thinking
that he was in Andrew's room, in Andrew's house, preparing
to celebrate a holiday he knew nothing about. Thanksgiving
was very much an American creation. He imagined that
he must have looked very confused when his - Andrew's -
mother tried to explain it to him.
On that Wednesday afternoon, he was laying on his
bed, not quite awake. It had been difficult adjusting
to the new surroundings and to the increased physical
therapy. He could walk around some on his own now, but
he was still really weak, hence the wheelchair in the
corner. He really hated that thing; he wanted to be
able to walk on his own...but walking anywhere around the
house wiped him out. He was still recovering from
walking to the kitchen, the dining room, and then
back to his room without assistance. It annoyed the
hell out of him.
As he was recovering, moving back to awareness, he
opened his eyes and saw...nothing. It was like he
was in a black hole or some kind of void. While
he floated there, he saw two lives flash before his
eyes. One was clearly that of Yusuke Urameshi, complete
with ups, downs, and demons. The other life was
Andrew Ikeda, which had its own ups and downs...and
one demon, sixteen-year-old Andrew and the hateful
things he would shout at his mother about their
racial identity.
After the flashes, two doors appeared before him. In
an odd sort of way, he understood what was going on.
He was being presented with a choice: the life of
Urameshi or the life of Ikeda.
It really wasn't an easy choice, in spite of what
people may have thought. He lost something either
way he went. There were things he liked about the
life of a spirit detective, things he hated about
being a normal biracial teenager, and vice versa.
It didn't even help to realize that part of whatever
life he didn't choose would remain with him, in
"translator mode," i.e. a part of him that would
always understand the other side.
Yet, trying to describe his choice now, it seems like
the only one he could have made...in part because
he thought he could do a better job with this life.
Beating demons and rouge spirit detectives while
trapped in another life was near impossible, but
healing a family and thanking an amazing mother...
that was something he could do.
After he made his choice, it was like his entire
life rushed over him. Some things made sense in
ways they hadn't before; other things still confused
the hell out of him, but for the first time, he
felt in control of his head. It was a relief.
Blinking, he made the decision to go find the family.
He knew that all of the immediate family was home.
As he pulled himself out of bed, he slowly began
to walk out of the room. Sure, he probably could
have called for help with the new intercom system
installed in his room, but he wanted to present
this news to them while standing on his own two
feet.
As he neared the dining room, he finally heard their
voices. To be more specific, he heard Betty shout,
"What are we doing this for?!" following by a
soothing reply from his mother.
As he stood in one of the doorways of the dining room,
he leaned on the doorframe as he watched his family.
Gathered around a table with notepads in their hands,
they all seemed to be hard at work at something. His
mother was the only one standing, probably she had
gotten up to encourage Betty. It was odd to see
everyone with his new eyes. That was probably why
he didn't speak right away.
"Hey y'all," he finally said after a few beats, "anything
I can help with?"
Immediately the heads of everyone in the room turned in
his direction.
"Yusuke," his mother began, "you should have called one
of us if you wanted to company. If you had collapsed in
the house somewhere, it could have been hours before anyone
found you!"
"I'm fine," he assured his mother, "it's just that," he
shook his head. "I never expected that to sound weird."
"What do you mean?" his father asked.
"Being called Yusuke. Do you think," he paused slightly,
"that maybe you could call me Andrew again?"
That request met with silence as everyone stared at him.
That kind of attention, of course, just made him nervous,
which made him angry. "What is everyone staring at?! And
Hasu, close your month already! You're attracting flies."
It was probably his use of an old nickname he had for his
baby brother that started to break the ice. After hearing
it, his baby brother blinked and then smiled. "Yep, that's
Andrew. Idiot boy finally got his head on straight."
He laughed as he turned his attention to his older sister,
"And I'm sure this makes you very happy, Betty, as you will
probably start bossing me around immediately. Although I
barely survived your attempt to turn me into a gentleman for
Keiko."
"Oh, Drew," his Betty said with tears in her eyes as she slowly
began to stand.
"Samuel," he said as he looked at his older brother, "it's
a surprise to see you today."
"It is the day before Thanksgiving," Samuel pointed out.
"Which was always a workday for you before. Well, since
your little brother has gotten his head on straight, you
might want to call Barbara so that reschedule all that stuff
that she moved around for you to deal with me."
"Hm," was all that Samuel said as he reached for his
cell.
"You should probably call Samantha, too."
"I just might," Samuel conceded.
"Samantha? But what-" Betty started to ask.
But his attention was on his parents. They were both happy
that he appeared to remember his life, but his mother still
looked wary. That gun-shy look on her face wasn't a real
surprise. He'd been pretty awful to her over the past few
years. She probably was still wondering where she stood.
Knowing what he had to do, what he wanted to do, he
pushed away from the doorframe and walked into the
room. It was a pretty steady walk, a testament to
the therapy from hell. As he reached his mother, he
hugged her and said, "I love you, Mom."
She was frozen in shock for just a second; then she
wrapped her arms around him and put her head on top
of his. She didn't say anything for awhile, just
held him. After a few seconds, he felt something
wet hit his shoulder. "Mom, are you crying?" he
asked.
"No," she managed to get out around a happy sob.
He heard his father said, "Thank God, I really have
my family back," before he felt him hug him and his
mother.
"I see a group hug coming on," Betty said as she joined
the hug. Obviously his brothers were hanging back
because Betty said, "Come on you two! Get over
here. Move it, Hasukawa. NOW!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Hasukawa groused, but
Andrew thought his voice sounded a little watery.
"You too, Samuel," Betty said. "You are a part of
this family, too, old head."
"I am at that," Samuel agreed as he joined the hug.
And in that moment, he knew he had made the right
choice. For all of the aches and pains, battles and
loses in his life, he had been given a gift. The gift
of love, the gift of family. And, as he stood, overheating
in a six person group hug, he knew he was one of
the luckiest people alive.
- the end -