Things had changed a lot since the first time Jack and Doug had made love and the changes were, for the most part, for the better. Jack would never forget their first time, though. The beauty leading up to the moment, Doug's nervousness in the heat of passion, Jack's willingness to guide this incredible man through everything. Jack quickly saw that Doug was a natural in the arts of kissing and touching and lovemaking and things that made Jack giddy with arousal. What he did not know, Jack showed him and what he did know surprised and delighted Jack.
After several rather frustrating months of hanging out with Doug during which both men had been incredibly attracted to one another, Jack was almost going to give up all hope of ever being with this man who never failed to take his breath away. Then, something seemingly extraordinary happened.
Jack and Doug had just been sharing a walk on the beach when they came to a halt at a quiet stretch of sand, just out of town. Doug had been visiting this spot for years and was quite sure he was the only soul who really knew about it. It was a late summer's evening and the sun was setting over the calm water. The two men sat in the sand and watched in an awed silence.
"It's … indescribable," Doug murmured.
"Sublime," Jack said.
"What?"
"It's a sublime experience. Watching the sunset."
"What does that mean?"
"The sublime experience is … is observing nature's overwhelming, limitlessness. It's being in this moment and you are just so awe-struck and you can't describe it but still … there it is. It's something that is not in the object of nature itself but in the observer when he experiences it. Like this sunset it's … well, it's amazing, isn't it? It becomes a part of you when you watch it and you're amazed by it. It takes your breath away- the colours, the way they fit together and … I don't know. It's almost too much to take in and yet you can't take your eyes off of it. It possesses you."
Jack continued to stare at the sunset when he became acutely aware of the set of eyes watching him. He turned his head and found himself staring back at Doug who for the first time since Jack had laid eyes on him, wore an expression that said loud and clear what he wanted. There was no mask of indifference- Doug was telling Jack the truth without words. Jack looked into those stormy blue eyes and knew what he wanted. Knew what they both wanted and so he did not think- he just let himself go.
They moved in to each other simultaneously and both men felt the electricity when their lips met for the first time. The kiss began gently, tentatively but it soon became more insistent, more passionate. They explored the moist caverns of each other's mouths, lying back on the cool sand with Jack leaning over Doug's form. Their hands roamed each other's lengths, each touching the perfect body they had been yearning to touch for months.
Jack felt his arousal grow quickly and knew it would soon become out of control. He forced himself to pull away and stare once more into those beautiful eyes.
"Doug …" he said gently.
Doug stared back at him, breathing heavily, lips slightly parted. He seemed amazed by what he had just done and Jack searched for a sign regret.
"I'm sorry," Jack said, sitting up and positioning himself beside Doug on the sand. "I'm sorry I- I wasn't thinking."
Doug was silent for a moment and Jack averted his eyes to the now dark, starry sky over the water. "Don't apologize."
Jack turned his head quickly to the man beside him. "What?"
"Don't apologize. I- I mean, we, I think … that was a long time coming, wasn't it?"
Jack smiled a bit. "I'd hoped that but … I didn't think you wanted-"
"I didn't. At least, I thought that I didn't. I thought I could just ignore it and be alone because that was easier than actually living with it but- then I met you …"
Jack nodded. He felt almost as if they had had that conversation before. They were saying all the things that they had never said out loud but had both been thinking for a long time.
"I couldn't ignore what I wanted anymore. I can't."
Jack said nothing as he moved back to his original position and kissed the other man. Their kisses were gentler now, more calculated motions, slowly moving through the dangerous waters. Clothes were slowly removed and neither thought too much about what they were doing as they continued to explore each other's forms. They simply took each other in, discovering what they had been both dreaming about for months, reveling in each other's perfection.
It rained for the next three days and they spent them in Jack's house, exploring each other, getting to know each other in a way they never had before. Jack found it exciting to show the older man this way of lovemaking he had never known before. Even when Doug became more experienced, the passion and desire never left their relationship. Jack had been with many other men before but none were even comparable to Doug. It had nothing to do with how talented either man was in bed, it had only to do with the feeling between them. There was a connection that neither had ever experienced before and it possessed both of them.
Jack slipped quietly into the hospital room and sat down beside Doug's sleeping form. He glanced at his watch- 4:16. Jack smiled gently, knowing that Doug was often tired in the afternoons. He could be up at the crack of dawn or stay awake until the wee hours of the morning but he always was slightly sleepy between two and five in the afternoon. Of course, Jack knew full well that Doug spent a lot of time napping these days.
The tired eyes gently opened and Doug smiled, seeing Jack. "Hey, there," he said.
"Hi, love. How's it going?"
"Wonderful," Doug deadpanned. "How long have you been staring at me?"
Jack smiled. "Only for a bit. Not nearly long enough."
Doug closed his eyes. "Funny."
"Watching you …" Jack murmured, "it's a sublime experience."
Doug looked at Jack again and the two men shared a tender look; full of love and familiar.
"And I plan on doing it for many years to come," Jack added, trying to keep his voice from shaking.
Doug gave Jack's hand a weak squeeze. "Works for me."