A/N: Thanks for the reviews.
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Ryan POV
"So what's up?" Anna asked, smiling broadly at me. Her cheerfulness would have been inappropriate in our little sea of gloom if I didn't notice that the optimism didn't reach her eyes. It was nice that she was trying to be strong for everyone but I didn't even understand why she was around in the first place.
I shrugged. "I'm fine. Are you in town visiting your parents?"
She shook her head as she pointed at her luggage. "I haven't been to see them yet. That reminds me, I need to call them to let them know I arrived safely," she said right before she reached into her bag and picked up a little silver-tinted cell phone. She got off the couch and walked to the kitchen.
Once again I was left with my own thoughts. I buried my curiosity about Anna's visit and let my mind travel to the previous events.
The cocks had barely begun crowing when my cell phone rang. I immediately knew it was someone from my recently abandoned life in Newport because other than Theresa -who was sleeping in the adjacent room- no one in Chino knew that number.
Through half-shut eyes, I looked at the caller id and saw Summer's name blinking on it - that was all it took to wake me up. There had to be something wrong for her to be calling me as I was surprised she even knew the number.
"What's going on?"
"Ryan..." she started. She didn't even call me 'Chino.'
I sat up and took a deep breath.
"What, Summer?"
"Seth's gone," she finished plainly.
"To?"
"I don't know! He's gone away. He's disappeared!"
"What do you mean?"
"Ryan, don't be a knucklehead. He's not here! He left after you did."
My heart stopped right after the lump in my throat prevented me from speaking. I knew Seth was hurt that I was leaving. He didn't have to say it because it was oozing from his skin, particularly when he refused to say goodbye to me. But to disappear? I loved him better than my own brother but I thought he understood my moving to Chino was for the better good. But I guess the better good wasn't that great after all, if it caused him to run away.
"Ryan, are you still there?"
"Yes," I whispered. "I'm here. When did he leave?"
"Yesterday, shortly after you did. His parents went to check up on him and he wasn't there then, they found some notes he'd left in the kitchen."
"Notes? What did he say?"
"What do you think he said?" Her voice quickly changed from one of sorrow to anger. "Why the hell did you leave? You know he really wanted you to stay. See what you did? Why, Ryan?"
She'd spoken the words I'd refused to think: Ryan, it's your fault. It seemed like no matter what I did, I was to blame for everything. I tried to be a great son to my mother but regardless of what I did, I was a failure in her eyes and only caused her further pain. When her ex-boyfriend had beaten her up, I intervened which made him break up with her. Then my mother hated me. Any way you looked at it, I failed. When Marissa got into trouble in Tijuana and her mother wanted to send her to an institution, I helped her stay in Newport and see a psychiatrist, where she met the psycho Oliver. Again, I failed. When Theresa came to Newport seeking help, I wasn't there for her, she went back to her fiancé and got beat up. Once more, I failed. When Theresa and I needed comfort, we made love and she got pregnant. Another failure. And now that I went back to my roots, hoping to right some awful wrongs, I caused Seth to skip town. I'd done what I'm great at and failed again. And this time just might just have been tragic.
"Did you say he left last night?" I asked.
"Yes."
"So how come you are just calling now?"
"His parents didn't want to tell you - they said you had bigger problems on your mind."
That stung. Yes, things weren't easy but for them to think that Seth's disappearance wasn't a huge problem to me? It seemed that they'd misconstrued my departure for rejection and they were wrong - they were the only real family I'd ever known. So I knew I had to fix things and head back home.
I explained everything to Theresa and she was very supportive. Even though she wanted me around, she knew I'd never be happy sitting around, doing nothing but worrying about my best friend. She wished me luck and sent her love.
I'd arrived in Newport almost the way I'd left - in the same clothes, barely unpacked bag and the same solemn look. I'd taken the bus and walked the half mile to the house.
Sandy would have made a perfect burglary target because till I tapped him that evening as he has on the porch, he wasn't aware that another person was only two inches away from him. He looked up and into my eyes and without a word, he got up and hugged me. And we stayed in the position for what felt like hours - he just wouldn't let go of me.
Kirsten had cried when she saw me. But she wouldn't touch me - not till I forced her to. Then she too just wanted to keep her arms around me.
It had been two days and things didn't look any better. The police had initially refused to do anything because it was under 48 hours but with the strings Sandy and Caleb pulled, they agreed to conduct a search 40 hours after his departure. Well, it wasn't really a search since Seth is almost an adult. What they did instead was alert the Coast Guards and Law Enforcement in the surrounding areas. Like that'll do much. I'd spend enough time with our so-called protectors to know that they didn't do anything if there was nothing in it for them. And I didn't see how Seth's safe return would benefit them - it's not like stingy Caleb would actually buy them a new wing or anything.
A satisfied Anna walked back into the room and sat next to me. I noticed that her hair had grown a little longer since the last time I'd seen her. It probably shouldn't have been on my mind at the time, but I thought it brightened up her face.
"Everything is squared up at home. They said I have to be in for dinner... which I guess is fine considering they paid for my ticket and all - they should at least see my face. Don't you think?" she said smiling and bobbing her head.
I smiled solemnly. "Yes, they should. I guess all parents deserve that." I was watching Kirsten frantically clean an invisible spot on the coffee table.
Anna followed my eyes then folded her arms. "This sucks. What the hell was Seth thinking?"
"Do you know he barely spoke to me?" I said quietly.
She looked at me curiously. "Really?"
"Yes, I knew he was hurting, but I didn't have a choice - I had to leave."
She put a reassuring hand on my knee. "Ryan, it's not your fault."
"It isn't?" I said, looking at her kind eyes but disbelieving her words. Nice try, Anna.
"No." She scanned the room, then settled her eyes on mine. "You know what we are going to have to do?"
"What?"
"We are going to have to find Seth Cohen."
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Ryan POV
"So what's up?" Anna asked, smiling broadly at me. Her cheerfulness would have been inappropriate in our little sea of gloom if I didn't notice that the optimism didn't reach her eyes. It was nice that she was trying to be strong for everyone but I didn't even understand why she was around in the first place.
I shrugged. "I'm fine. Are you in town visiting your parents?"
She shook her head as she pointed at her luggage. "I haven't been to see them yet. That reminds me, I need to call them to let them know I arrived safely," she said right before she reached into her bag and picked up a little silver-tinted cell phone. She got off the couch and walked to the kitchen.
Once again I was left with my own thoughts. I buried my curiosity about Anna's visit and let my mind travel to the previous events.
The cocks had barely begun crowing when my cell phone rang. I immediately knew it was someone from my recently abandoned life in Newport because other than Theresa -who was sleeping in the adjacent room- no one in Chino knew that number.
Through half-shut eyes, I looked at the caller id and saw Summer's name blinking on it - that was all it took to wake me up. There had to be something wrong for her to be calling me as I was surprised she even knew the number.
"What's going on?"
"Ryan..." she started. She didn't even call me 'Chino.'
I sat up and took a deep breath.
"What, Summer?"
"Seth's gone," she finished plainly.
"To?"
"I don't know! He's gone away. He's disappeared!"
"What do you mean?"
"Ryan, don't be a knucklehead. He's not here! He left after you did."
My heart stopped right after the lump in my throat prevented me from speaking. I knew Seth was hurt that I was leaving. He didn't have to say it because it was oozing from his skin, particularly when he refused to say goodbye to me. But to disappear? I loved him better than my own brother but I thought he understood my moving to Chino was for the better good. But I guess the better good wasn't that great after all, if it caused him to run away.
"Ryan, are you still there?"
"Yes," I whispered. "I'm here. When did he leave?"
"Yesterday, shortly after you did. His parents went to check up on him and he wasn't there then, they found some notes he'd left in the kitchen."
"Notes? What did he say?"
"What do you think he said?" Her voice quickly changed from one of sorrow to anger. "Why the hell did you leave? You know he really wanted you to stay. See what you did? Why, Ryan?"
She'd spoken the words I'd refused to think: Ryan, it's your fault. It seemed like no matter what I did, I was to blame for everything. I tried to be a great son to my mother but regardless of what I did, I was a failure in her eyes and only caused her further pain. When her ex-boyfriend had beaten her up, I intervened which made him break up with her. Then my mother hated me. Any way you looked at it, I failed. When Marissa got into trouble in Tijuana and her mother wanted to send her to an institution, I helped her stay in Newport and see a psychiatrist, where she met the psycho Oliver. Again, I failed. When Theresa came to Newport seeking help, I wasn't there for her, she went back to her fiancé and got beat up. Once more, I failed. When Theresa and I needed comfort, we made love and she got pregnant. Another failure. And now that I went back to my roots, hoping to right some awful wrongs, I caused Seth to skip town. I'd done what I'm great at and failed again. And this time just might just have been tragic.
"Did you say he left last night?" I asked.
"Yes."
"So how come you are just calling now?"
"His parents didn't want to tell you - they said you had bigger problems on your mind."
That stung. Yes, things weren't easy but for them to think that Seth's disappearance wasn't a huge problem to me? It seemed that they'd misconstrued my departure for rejection and they were wrong - they were the only real family I'd ever known. So I knew I had to fix things and head back home.
I explained everything to Theresa and she was very supportive. Even though she wanted me around, she knew I'd never be happy sitting around, doing nothing but worrying about my best friend. She wished me luck and sent her love.
I'd arrived in Newport almost the way I'd left - in the same clothes, barely unpacked bag and the same solemn look. I'd taken the bus and walked the half mile to the house.
Sandy would have made a perfect burglary target because till I tapped him that evening as he has on the porch, he wasn't aware that another person was only two inches away from him. He looked up and into my eyes and without a word, he got up and hugged me. And we stayed in the position for what felt like hours - he just wouldn't let go of me.
Kirsten had cried when she saw me. But she wouldn't touch me - not till I forced her to. Then she too just wanted to keep her arms around me.
It had been two days and things didn't look any better. The police had initially refused to do anything because it was under 48 hours but with the strings Sandy and Caleb pulled, they agreed to conduct a search 40 hours after his departure. Well, it wasn't really a search since Seth is almost an adult. What they did instead was alert the Coast Guards and Law Enforcement in the surrounding areas. Like that'll do much. I'd spend enough time with our so-called protectors to know that they didn't do anything if there was nothing in it for them. And I didn't see how Seth's safe return would benefit them - it's not like stingy Caleb would actually buy them a new wing or anything.
A satisfied Anna walked back into the room and sat next to me. I noticed that her hair had grown a little longer since the last time I'd seen her. It probably shouldn't have been on my mind at the time, but I thought it brightened up her face.
"Everything is squared up at home. They said I have to be in for dinner... which I guess is fine considering they paid for my ticket and all - they should at least see my face. Don't you think?" she said smiling and bobbing her head.
I smiled solemnly. "Yes, they should. I guess all parents deserve that." I was watching Kirsten frantically clean an invisible spot on the coffee table.
Anna followed my eyes then folded her arms. "This sucks. What the hell was Seth thinking?"
"Do you know he barely spoke to me?" I said quietly.
She looked at me curiously. "Really?"
"Yes, I knew he was hurting, but I didn't have a choice - I had to leave."
She put a reassuring hand on my knee. "Ryan, it's not your fault."
"It isn't?" I said, looking at her kind eyes but disbelieving her words. Nice try, Anna.
"No." She scanned the room, then settled her eyes on mine. "You know what we are going to have to do?"
"What?"
"We are going to have to find Seth Cohen."