blah blah disclaimers.

A/N: I want to get this story over and done with so there'll be much quicker updates... but don't hold me to it.

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Anna POV.

It had been two days since the little kiss debacle and shockingly, we'd lived with very little tension and everything went back to normal... except it didn't, not really. I was drunk but wasn't so wasted that I couldn't remember most details of that evening. I still remembered that he told me that he was attracted to me and I remembered responding in kind. However, I had this feeling I might have said something else but was too embarrassed to ask when I finally sobered up. The bottom line was, he didn't kiss me and on some levels I was grateful he didn't take advantage of my drunken state but on others, I wished he did, because well, I just wanted him to.

Unlike most of my other sailing trips, I'd let the boat navigate itself because I didn't want Ryan to feel lonely. Unfortunately, I was already getting withdrawals so I decided to pack in as much sailing into the last few days. I realized we still had the entire trip from Hawaii to Tahiti to sail but I wanted to enjoy the sport a little more before we touched land.

As always, Ryan joined me on deck after he was done with his calls and news watching. Thankfully, he watched CNN. I probably wouldn't have liked him as much if I'd discovered he enjoyed Fox News... I think. I was wearing my bikini top and shorts but this time I didn't attempt to cover up because after that non-kiss, I wanted to make it difficult for him to overlook me. For the first time in my life, I wished I had bigger breasts and that thought upset me endlessly. But I couldn't help it - the fact we didn't get to share that intimate moment meant it was permanently ingrained in my mind and I just wanted to finally taste those lips of his. It had even gotten to the point that when he was talking to me, my mind would shut down and I'd just find myself staring at them. And that just seemed wrong - that was so not Anna Stern. I was supposed to know better, to behave better, to be better, but it was no longer in my control.

"Anna," he said, handing me a cup of tea. We'd run out of coffee and were making due with the bags my father had left from his last trip.

It tasted funny. "Sweet 'n' Low?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yep. We are out of sugar."

"Good thing we are only two days from Hawaii. I don't think I can stand the aftertaste," I said, putting the cup down next to me.

"Yep," he said, picking it up and placing it on our little lounge table.

"Two days left and we still haven't found Seth," I said, glancing at him. He tried to mask his doubt but I caught it before he succeeded.

He grinned widely. "I bet he's already there; drinking from coconuts and doing the hula dance," he said lightly. It obviously bothered him but I appreciated that he was trying to put up a brave face for my benefit.

I laughed. "It's not really like that, you know."

"No? So it's all a fantasy? Television has been lying to us?"

"Well, actually, it is like that in some places - usually where tourists hang out. But a lot of the Islands are bustling cities just like everywhere else."

"That's cool," he said, nodding.

"But unfortunately, we are not going to get to see it. But maybe on another trip...," I said, turning back to the wheel.

"What? Are you asking me to sail with you another time?"

I blushed furiously. I was so glad he couldn't see my face. "Well, you aren't the worst sailing partner in the world."

"How can I be a partner when I can't even sail?" he asked accusingly.

He'd begun to sound like a broken record and I just wanted to shut him up. "You really want to learn?"

"How many times do I have to say it?"

"Alright, come on." I waved him to the controls.

"And I don't mean showing me how to use autopilot," he added as he approached me.

It was getting a little scary -he'd begun to read me.

I pointed a few things out to him then stepped aside so that he could hold the wheel. But he wasn't holding it right. He held it like he was driving a car.

So I went to one side and placed his hand in the right place. I tried to stretch to place the other hand in the correct spot but it was too far, so I went around him to do it. Then I instructed him carefully. But it felt like I was speaking Chinese because he appeared to be following someone else's directions.

"See why I didn't want to teach you? You're doing something entirely different. Ryan, listen to me!"

He finally did but was having trouble holding the wheel correctly. I found myself going around him numerous times just to keep his hands in the right position.

"This is ridiculous. When I get through with you, I'm never going to have to visit a gym ever again," I whined. It's wasn't really that terrible - I enjoyed playing 'teacher.'

With his hands still on the wheel, he stepped back.

I eyed him. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Making some space for you to get in."

"Excuse me?"

"You're smaller than I am. Instead of having to go around me, I can look over and around you."

I shook my head. "No... it's fine this way."

"Maybe it's fine for you, but my ears are getting tired from hearing your complaints."

I glared at him. "Buddy, remember I am doing you a favor."

He smiled with mock shame. "Thank you, madam. I am ever so grateful," he joked.

I bent under his arms and got in front of him. I was flanked by them so that I was completely enveloped by him. I exhaled. Even though it was breezy, his body heat made me feel otherwise. He must have just taken a shower because the fragrance of Irish Spring still lingered. As I spoke, he moved his head so close to mine that I could tell that his breath was a mixture of tea and mint.

For about five minutes, I instructed and showed him the basics of sailing and he slowly caught on. Well, he finally learned to hold the steering wheel correctly.

I would have loved to teach him more but I just couldn't. He was so close to me that he was all I could think of. I had to concentrate hard to make sure that only acceptable words passed my lips - I was afraid that if I let my brain move faster than my lips, I might have said some things that would only lead to regret. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I almost didn't hear him whisper my name.

When I snapped out of it, I felt him gently nudge me. He'd stretched his right hand over my body to my left arm and was tugging it. I had no choice but to turn around and face him.

My eyes traveled from his lips to his nose and into his blue eyes. He had a weird look.

"Ryan," I murmured.

He didn't respond. Instead his fingers slid from my temple, to my cheek then outlined my lips. I found myself responding and tasting his fingers as they moved across my mouth. I moved closer and molded my body into his.

"Ryan...," I started but was stopped when he fastened his lips on mine. His mouth tasted wet and warm. I closed my eyes and put my hands around his waist. He slid his hand around my neck, grabbed my hair and pulled me even closer to him. His tongue was deep as he explored the innermost hollows of my mouth.

I opened my eyes when we broke apart for some air. Then he pushed me further into the wheel and I felt it dig into my back. I almost said something but stopped myself. However, the pain kept me from thoroughly enjoying him kiss my neck and I looked over his shoulder.

I squinted and saw a catamaran. "Seth," I said softly.

His body stiffened. He disentangled his body from mine, stepped back and looked at me. "What?" he asked, displeased.

I pointed at the ocean. "I think that's Seth."

I ran downstairs, quickly returned with two sets of binoculars and handed him one.

"Is that him?" I asked excitedly as we both looked through the lenses.

"I don't know." His voice was unemotional.

"It might be. Who else would be traveling in such a little boat in these waters?" I ran to the wheel and steered us in its direction. "Ryan, don't just stand there, grab a flare! We have to get his attention!"

An unimpressed Ryan kept looking through the binoculars.

"Ryan, get on with it!"

He frowned and handed it to me. "It's not him."

"Huh? How can you be so sure?"

"Unless Seth's made some friends, that's not him. That boat is with the bigger one behind it."

I took the binoculars from him and confirmed his findings. "I guess you're right. It would have been nice to find him though," I said, smiling faintly.

He stared at the floor and shook his head. When he looked up, I looked back at him. We both stood there and watched the other wordlessly. It was almost like we were in a staring contest. The tension I was so proud we didn't have had finally materialized.

I lost the game, looked away and took hold of the wheel. "Well, I guess I better steer this back before we find ourselves on a deserted Island."

"Anna..."

"Do you mind going through the pantry to see what we need to reload on? We are already running out of supplies."

He was disappointed. "Anna..." he repeated.

I knew he wanted to talk about what had just happened, but I didn't want to. I wasn't even sure I'd know what to say. Everything was just messed up because Ryan and I were supposed to be finding Seth, not hooking up. I didn't know what to think hence, I wasn't ready to have any discussions.

"You know what?" I said, more to myself than to him. "Forget it. I'll just do it myself," I smiled pretending everything was back to normal, "I'll probably know better."

He was still standing and watching me when I put the boat on autopilot and escaped downstairs.