Coming Back
Disclaimer: This will NOT be a FANfiction if I'm the owner of SD, ne? And the songs featured here are not mine. So I don't own, you don't sue.
A/N: Yoz... this is my second fanfic that I'm posting on Fanfiction.net. I tried my best to translate the songs that are featured here from Chinese to English. But I guess the best way to really feel how this story is like is to listen to the songs themselves: 1st song is S.H.E.'s "Chang Xiang Si" (Longing); then it's S.H.E.'s "Superstar", next is "Xia Tian de Wei Xiao" (a Smile Like the Summer) and 5566's "Wo Nan Guo" (Sadness). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fic, and please REVIEW, minna-san! Onegai... and thanks! Okay, now ON to the story althought it doesn't really have an ending... but let your imagination do the work, ne?
= thoughts
"Left, he'd left and my heart closed
Wait, I can't wait anymore
Not here, are you forever not here or only temporary?
The more I love, the more I'm afraid I'll sink deeper
I can't stand it ever since loneliness claimed me Moss covered my tearful eyes
Thoughts, already became a pool of dead water
Feeling, but I'm afraid to create another sensation
Longing, for so many endless nights
Longing, why not be together for eternity
If the time for embrace is too little, too short, youth would be so blanch
Longing, no match for the sky
Longing, I'll be worried if it's too long
I'm afraid that my youth will soon fade and leave me only with memories..."
The audience watched as their red-head singer swayed according to the rhythm of the music. Although they cannot understand the words that were sprouting out of the singer's mouth, they were much influenced by the sadness that was underlying Sakuragi's soothing voice, nor could they ignore the sorrow that was pouring out their most-beloved singer's brown eyes.
But none of them, maybe except Sakuragi's teammates and guntai who were among the audience, occupying a table at the far-end of the club, understood what was going on in the red-head's mind. He still worked at the club as a singer that day even though it was his birthday, just like a year ago. But unlike a year ago, the memory of his kitsune now did not give him any happiness, instead, they were all lined with sharp knife-like edges that continued to stab deeply into his already-bleeding heart.
Indeed, Rukawa had left him for a whole year now, he had left him for America, he had left him to pursue his dream, he had left him behind to piece together his shattered dream, he had left him totally. Sakuragi sang the song as if his whole life depended on it. Indeed, this song totally conveyed his sorrow. As he sang, memory of his last birthday came rushing back to his mind and he felt his eyes burnt and his cheeks were suddenly wet.
Flashback
"Kae-chan! You've come!" Sakuragi laughed as he bounded towards his koibito and hug him. Rukawa hugged him back, though it did not feel right to Sakuragi. But Sakuragi dismissed that nagging feeling since he felt that nothing would be wrong on his birthday.
"Hana-chan, happy birthday. Look, I need to talk to you... in private..." Rukawa pulled away from the embrace and looked deep into Sakuragi's eyes and his heart wrenched in pain again.
"Later, k? It's my turn to sing now." Sakuragi, still believing that nothing bad was going to happen on his birthday, beamed at Rukawa. Rukawa sighed and nodded before getting himself a seat and watched the ever so energetic Sakuragi ran up to the stage.
"Evening, minna-san! Today is a special day for your beloved Tensai singer, me, as it's my birthday. And I would like to thank that one person who had made my previous year so enjoyable and so full of happiness. So I'm dedicating this song to this special person, Rukawa Kaede, for he is my SuperStar!" Sakuragi said through the microphone with a big smile on. Then, the band struck the first note, he started dancing according to the beat, and opened his mouth, singing in his low and mellow voice.
"Laugh, and I rejoice, frown and it hurts me,
I have no time for myself, only to feel what you feel
Take my soul with you wherever you go
it's already crazy about you, what's the use of keeping it
You're the current, you're the light, you're the only legend
I only love you, You are my super star
You rule, I worship, there's no better plan
Only love you, You are my super star
Hand, is not hand, but gentle universe
Me, a tiny planet revolving in it
Please look at me so that I can dream
I'm crazy about you, you must reward me
You're the current, you're the light, you're the only legend
I only love you, You are my super star
You rule, I worship, there's no better plan
Only love you, You are my super star
You are the meaning, the heaven, the earth, the god's will
Besides loving you, there's no other logic
Fire, you're fire, it's my, the moth's end
Never thought of escaping, why should I escape
Thank you for giving me such a wonderful dream
If I forget myself, please help to remember me
You're the current, you're the light, you're the only legend
I only love you, You are my supestar
You rule, I worship, there's no better plan
Only love you, You are my super star
You're the current, you're the light (you're) you're the only legend (only legend)
I only love you, You are my super star (You are my super star)
You rule, I worship, there's no better plan (no better plan)
Only love you (only love you) You are my super star (You are my super star Boy)."
As the last note faded away, the audience, still mesmerized by the melody, took a while to response before they applauded. Sakuragi beamed and bowed to his "fans" and gave Rukawa a wink from where he was.
Oh man... now how am I going to tell him? Rukawa thought as he watched the laughing red-haired do'aho thank his audience and bounded down the stage, towards him.
"Kae-chan! Do you like the song? I spend quite sometimes getting all the pronunciation right!" Sakuragi hugged Rukawa again and sat down beside his koibito.
"Hanamichi... I need to talk to you... I'm sorry that this is going to be your birthday present... but I guess I have to tell you sooner or later..." Rukawa started, keeping his gaze as he could not bear to see Sakuragi's smile.
Sakuragi, knowing that something was seriously wrong here from the way Rukawa called him "Hanamichi", did not say anything and just stared at boy in front of him.
"Look... I've got a basketball scholarship from the States... and I'm accepting it. It has always been my dream to go to the States to play basketball and now the chance has come..." Rukawa stole a look at the red-head who was trying hard to take in everything Rukawa had just said.
"I'll be there for 3 years and... I don't think I can maintain the relationship once I'm in States with all the basketball things going on..." Rukawa stole another glance and he saw Sakuragi's face paled.
"...so... let's break up..."
Sakuragi's head snapped up at that statement and his eyes widen...
"Br...break up?" he chocked out the two words. This is not happening... Kae-chan can't be breaking up with me on my birthday... it must be a nightmare and I'm going to wake up any moment to see Kae-chan still sleeping in my arms... yes, I'm going to wake up... Sakuragi shook his head violent as if trying to wake up.
"Hanamichi?" Rukawa asked.
"Tell me this is just a dream..."
"I'm sorry..."
"You don't trust that our love could withstand all the distance and time?" Sakuragi suddenly asked and Rukawa was shocked so he did not answer.
"I... I see." Sakuragi said quietly. "I see..." He took a deep breathe, and tried hard to keep the tears from spilling out of his eyes. "So when are you leaving?"
"Tonight."
"So you kept the news from me for quite sometimes already?" Sakuragi felt another stab of pain in his heart. "Well... I guess I should wish you bon voyage and best regards for everything you do, ne? Haha..." He laughed a bitter laugh and forced a smile on his face.
Rukawa flinched at that sound and sight. Sakuragi was behaving totally out of his expectation. "Hanamichi..."
"Well... you should know that I'm very busy tonight as there's a full-house, so I guess I can't see you off, ne? Aa. It's my turn to sing again. Tell me when you leave, ne?" Sakuragi took another deep breathe and stood up, taking big strides towards the stage. He could not trust himself to stay calm any more around the boy he had loved with all his heart and who had hurt him with his decision.
"Alright, minna-san! There's a change in plan of the songs tonight. I'm going to sing you a new I've learnt, it's called 'The Summer Smile'."
" The tornado of feeling has calmed down
Finally could sit down for a talk
Brought the necklace you gave to return to you
But you want me to keep it for memory
Love has changed to a faraway tomorrow
That doesn't mean yesterday should be forgotten
Listening to words coming from your heart
The urge to kiss you was so strong
Love may have limitation
But memory has no destination
The first page is turned with a laughter
Don't let tears write the ending
I want to put on a smile like the summer
To hide the feeling that is so bad
Don't wanna be your burden
Just a way to repay for knowing you
I want to put on a smile like the summer
To encourage the heartbeat of winter
Courage and true love will meet
Though happiness likes to play hide and seek with me
But true heart will have true love in the end..."
He sang on the stage, with eyes shining with tears, but he kept on a smile just like the song... and he watched Rukawa walked out the door of the clubhouse... and out of his life... for one whole year...
End of Flashback
The applause from the audience brought him back to the present and he realized that he had finished singing the whole song unconsciously. Well, it was easy to just sprout the lyrics out as it was almost the words from his heart at that moment. He backed down from the stage and went to the back of the club to sit with his friends. Then...
"Hana...?" Sakuragi froze in his seat, he could not believe it... the kitsune was here? He whirled and came face to face with that boy who had left him a year ago.
"Kit..kitsune?! I mean... Rukawa! When did you come back?" Sakuragi sputtered.
"Can I talk to you?"
Can I talk to you? That's what he said one year ago… that question rang at his ears over and over again, Sakuragi just stared at the pale-featured boy.
"Hanamichi?"
"Huh? Oh… erm… okay… there… there's one empty table at the corner, we can talk there…" Sakuragi, still in a daze, walked towards the dark corner as if he was a zombie. Rukawa just followed silently.
Both of them sat down in the dim light. Sakuragi stole glances at his love… no, his old love… and saw, to his surprise, that Rukawa had dark rings under his eyes.
That always sleeping kitsune has dark eye rings? Sakuragi pondered as he wondered why Rukawa had come back after only a year. Maybe he had come back for me… stop it Sakuragi Hanamichi… don't be a do'aho! Why would he come back to you… he already had his basketball…
"How are you lately?" Rukawa suddenly asked. He was hidden in the shadow now so Sakuragi could not see his face.
"Uh… fine. Why did you come back? I thought the scholarship was for three years?" Sakuragi tried to sound casual but he knew he was failing terribly.
"I… I come back… because I had being thinking for the last two weeks…"
"About what?"
"About you. I suddenly realized that, after one whole year, I could not live without you… everyday… when I wake up… I expect to see you beside me but all was just an empty bed… at first I thought I would get over you… but I was wrong. Every night I dreamt about you… every night of the year… so I came back to see if you'd still… still give me a chance." Sakuragi listened to all this with bated breathe.
"Why should I believe you? How do I know that you are not going to give up our love easily once again? You haven't even call me once in the past year… and now you're back here to ask for another chance? Haha… you must be joking, right? You don't have to mock me, you know? Don't worry, I won't be in the way of your wonderful US-basketball dream." Sakuragi, keeping a straight face, said monotonously.
"Hana…"
"Sakuragi! The audience's requesting for you!" the shout came from the stage and Sakuragi was relieved to get away because he knew that he could not hold his composure any longer.
"Coming!" Sakuragi left Rukawa sitting in the dark.
"Minna-san! I'm so happy that you have requested for me, thank you thank you!" Sakuragi put on his stage charm. "Anyway… this following song is my answer to the boy sitting right back there in the corner."
Rukawa's head snapped up at that and prepared to hear what Sakuragi had to sing…
"That year, I could only choose to leave without a word
Innocent smile is no longer exciting
You are afraid of the ending, so you continue to hurt
Saying that I'm in the way of your bright future
You insist that I should not wait
I silently let you leave
Now you are back with wounds
How do you expect me to accept this arrangement
I am sad that I gave up on you, gave up on love
Gave up on the dream that is shattered, I held back the tears
I thought this is granting your wish
but you say you are not happy
I am sad that I forget you, forget love,
Trying the best to forget the true love we had
I also forget to tell you that what is lost cannot be taken back."
"Thank you, hope minna-san like this song… and hope that guy knows his answer…" Sakuragi said and left the clubhouse immediately. Rukawa sat in the darkness… he got his answer… and he could not control whatever that was bottled up for a whole year… for the first since last year, he let his tears flow… trying to let all his sadness flow out of his heart… but he knew no matter how much tears he shed… not a bit of sadness would be subsided in his heart… he had let his own ambition take away his only true love… his REAL dream shattered… but he would not give up… he would try whatever means to get his do'aho back… get his do'aho back…
A/N: Arrgh! I don't know what I'm typing… just suddenly had the idea for the fic when I listened to S.H.E. Anyway… do review, ne? Oh ya, anyone wants to continue this story? I don't know how… sheepish grin so anyone is welcomed to continue the story, but do tell me, ne?