Chapter 18 – Hope

Aragorn paced the length of the Golden Hall anxiously. Legolas matched his anxiety but the elf hid it in the tense stillness of his body. Edoras was their refuge after the triumph of Helm's Deep. They were re-grouping and waiting for the signal to launch the final assault on the forces of Sauron.

Arlannis was closeted with Gandalf. Her silence since the death of Haldir on the Deeping Wall had not ended with the victory over the Uruk Hai. She had remained mute with grief and barely ate or slept. She would not respond to her brother's attempts to break her self-imposed silence. She would not respond to anyone.

Even the strong friendship she had struck up with Fromas was not enough to overcome her daze. It was beginning to seriously worry the old man; he didn't like to see the warrior types go all quiet. In his experience it meant one of two things. Either they were dead or they were about to do something that would get them killed.

Gandalf's presence had been most welcome and all hoped that he could work another healing miracle on Arlannis.

But the expression on the wizard's face was far from confident when he faced Aragorn.

'Her grief is deep, my friend,' he said gravely, 'the shock of Haldir's death has consumed her. She knows they will not be reunited beyond death. I fear she may simply fade away.'

Aragorn turned from Gandalf briefly. Just for a moment, he tasted the bitter grief that he and Arwen would know someday. It was the answer he had feared. More and more, Arlannis' behaviour brought to mind the first time Haldir had left her in Lorien. Every day, she slipped further and further away from them all, adrift in her own private world of loss. Elves had been known to die in this manner and not just a few mortals either. Their own mother, Gilraen, had diminished gradually, worn by loss and sorrow. It was not a fate Aragorn had ever envisioned for his sister.

Legolas turned abruptly and left the Hall. He walked in the fresh air on the high parapet of the Golden Hall and struggled to control his despair. Gandalf had said it. She may simply fade away. It was just this fear that had gripped him immediately after Haldir's death. In truth, Legolas had despaired of Arlannis. She had been mute with shock since he had taken her from the wall. It had been obvious she would be of no use on the field of battle. So Legolas took her to the caves and left her with Fromas. The old healer had taken one look at the stricken Ranger and said 'Leave her to me, I'll mind her.'

Legolas had bent down until his eyes looked directly into hers. It was disconcerting to see no hint of recognition in her face. Instead she looked blank with no trace of the person he had come to know since Imladris.

'Stay with Fromas,' he said firmly, 'when the battle is done I will come for you.' There was no sign that she had heard him, just the blank stare as though her gaze had turned irrevocably inward.

Legolas knew that if he never came for her, she would not even have noticed.

And then came the anger. Legolas drew a deep breath. Her indifference stung the elf like nothing else.

'Hello,' said a voice behind him, 'this a good place for a bit of a think, I always say.'

Fromas settled on a bench and waited for Legolas to reply. The elf did not reply at first and Fromas lost patience.

'I am an old man,' he started, 'and I don't have time to waste. Therefore, I offer you this advice. Whether you take it or not is up to you I suppose.'

Legolas held up his hand in a placatory gesture and said, 'Your advice would be most welcome, Fromas, forgive my rudeness, but I am at a loss. And I am afraid.'

'With good reason,' said Fromas, 'but you are the one I think can save Arlannis from herself.'

Legolas fixed the old healer with an intense look and motioned for him to continue.

'Make her angry,' said Fromas, grimly, 'scorn her for abandoning her family and friends. Remind her that she had good reason not to fall into the Lorien archer's arms. Kick her where it hurts!'

Legolas looked quizzically at him. 'She told you of Haldir?'

'Oh yes,' said Fromas, arranging his robes under him, 'it was a long ride to Helm's Deep and everyone tells me everything in the end, you know. I have that kind of face. Oh, it's doubtless she loved him, but that love was safely buried in the past, he could never have revived it. But she does not realise this, so that is your task.'

He is dead. Haldir has left this world and me alone in it. The pain tore through all Arlannis' carefully reasoned arguments for cutting the Lorien archer out of her life. Memories assailed her of their golden time in Lorien before the terrible day of his betrayal. Though she had resolved never to rekindle their love, it did not mean that she could not regret that choice now that he was no more. A world without Haldir in it had never occurred to her.

His last words resounded through her thoughts. He will await me in the Halls of Mandos. To what end? She had chosen a mortal life and her spirit would go beyond the bounds of Arda, for hers was the Doom of Men. Though she would see Haldir briefly in the Halls of Waiting, ultimately their spirits were destined for different fates. They would never be together again. Her own death could not reunite them permanently, but at least they would meet one last time…

Night had fallen on Edoras and all but the sentries were gone to their rest. Legolas paced the battlements, hooded against the chill of the night wind. Calmer than he had been earlier that day, he began to think. With swift grace he descended the battlements and sought Arlannis in her chamber.

Arlannis woke slowly. She had not slept much in the last few days, her sleep was filled with dreams of Haldir. It seemed she had only to close her eyes and he was alive again and with her and then the dream would dissipate like fog upon awakening. Without fail it left her with a fresh barb of pain in her heart, so Arlannis staved off sleep as long as she could. The exhaustion generated by this deprivation allowed her some moments of dreamless rest and Arlannis treasured them.

But someone was saying her name and shaking her. The darkness was deep but her elven sight easily discerned the form of Legolas looming above her.

'Arise Arlannis,' he was saying, 'I would speak with you!'

His tone was not the kindly pitying ones she had been hearing since Haldir's death. There was a touch of anger in his voice.

Arlannis sat up and stared woodenly at him. Legolas felt his resentment flare and did not try to suppress it.

'Haldir is dead,' he stated baldly.

Arlannis flinched away from him and he felt a momentary flash of guilt.

'But you yet live as do you father, your brother and sister and your friends!'

Arlannis turned her face away but Legolas caught her head between his hands and forced her to look at him.

'Do not turn away from me!' he said fiercely.

He saw a tear roll down her cheek and brushed it away brusquely.

'I am the son of King Thranduil of Mirkwood and you will acknowledge my presence!'

Arlannis stared at him as shock started to penetrate her shell of sorrow. A faint echo of anger grew within her. Who was he to come to her in her grief boasting of his royal heritage? She recoiled from his grip but he just increased the strength of his hold. Arlannis considered briefly and decided against the indignity of a physical struggle and ceased all movement.

'A wise decision,' said Legolas in the same cold tones.

'What then would you have me do, O Prince of Mirkwood?'

The voice was raw with days of silence, but she had spoken. Legolas felt a dam of relief break within him. The old healer had been right!

'I would have you take your rightful place by your brother's side. We are entering the last days of this Age and we will all be tested before the end. Yours will not be the only grief suffered on the Dark Lord's account,' he said.

'Haldir,' she began brokenly, 'he waits…'

'Do not think of him!' Legolas interjected mercilessly, 'Haldir will go to the Blessed Isle to walk amongst the Valar and taste once again the glory of the First Age. Helm's Deep was his doom and though it pains you, you must accept it.'

Arlannis cast her gaze downwards and swallowed the painful lump in her throat. But Legolas forced her chin up until her eyes were level with his own again.

'Do not turn away from life just yet,' he said gently, 'for you do not know what the fates have in store for you and or what your destiny truly holds.'

Still locked in his grip, Arlannis could only stare at him.

'Haldir was your first love but he need not be your last.'