link got an invatation to party at hyrule castle after ganondork's defeat. the party included

princess zelda and impa, and the beer was flowing...

ten beers later:

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty,"link slurred. he looked wobily at zelda,"wanna shag with me all

night long, yeah, baby," then he puked on zelda.

"IMPA!" zelda screamed. "get rid of him for me!"

the mannish-white haired impa observed,"your highness, you have vomit on you,"

"i know that, you bitch! now if you were doing your job, this DUMBASS wouldnt have puked on me!"

"chill, princess zelda.... hey?! what are you doing?!" she demanded of link's wandering hand.

"i see london, i see france, i see pointy boobies...and OW i cut my hand on there.."link eyes rolled

in thier sockets.

"good! now keep your hands off me!" impa dropkicked him.

"zelda! your man-hoe has donkey lips!"

"donkey lips!" zelda giggled. "he called you a man-hoe!"

"shut yer spoiled piehole!" impa snapped. " i am not a man-hoe!"

"yes you are," link insisted. "you look like a man with pointy boobies!"

"and you look like somebody whos going to get his balls kicked off!" impa retorted.

"id like to see you try it, BOB,"

"THATS IT! help me out zelda!"

the next thing link knew he was thrown out face first into the street. everyone who saw him

started laughing. " hey there SHORTY!" said a particulaly fruity man.

three weeks later zelda recieved a letter from the kokiri forest.

dear your highness,

i acted really crass to you.with the success of my adventure, i celebrated a little too hard.

please give me back my pants. i need them. my name is link. i live in the kokiri forest. i apolgize

to your transvestite guardian. if only all people were as accepting of different kinds of people as you

were. call me if you need me.

link