A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! No one generally reviews me, so the people who do might as well be God revealing Himself to me! I love you guys! One note: At the song, the lines in (* Lyrics*) are from Yue's perspective, or could be, and the (~Lyrics~) in those marks would be Nickoli's POV. I'm a music junky, so I throw bits of songs into almost everything I write. I know it annoys the hell out of some, but I can't help it. So arigatou, and on with the show. Warning: The happiness definitely starts draining away here, and things take quite a jump from uneasy to just flat out bad.
Chapter 9: Ends
Before anyone knew it, the week was over and Nickoli had to return to his home, Nia's empty-feeling mansion. Yue and Nikki had one last moment of privacy. "I swear, we'll be together again, soon. I'll find some way," the dark angel said mischievously.
"I know, but I don't want to let you go. You've taught me so much..."
Nickoli was kissing the moon guardian's earlobe, drawing sighs from his lover. He whispered, "Well, you couldn't stay a virgin forever." Yue growled at him playfully.
"Mmm, wasn't talking about that," speech was difficult with Nickoli acting the way he was. The taller man stopped, sensing Yue's difficulty with the farewell.
"I meant what I said. This isn't really good-bye, it's more of a 'See-you-later'. I love you too much to leave you alone. I've got a little something for you though. It was given to me when I was younger, but it suits you much better." Nickoli pulled a necklace out of nowhere. On a thin silver chain hung a polished, solid silver crescent moon. In the smooth curve of the celestial symbol, an amethyst crystal was suspended.
Yue's eyes went wide, and he put it on immediately. "Thank you, it's so beautiful. Somewhat a forget me not, if we don't see each other for a while," he smiled, "I love you too, I'm going to miss you, even if you're only gone a short time. I can't help it; I'm still going to wish you were here and all that sappy junk. I also wish I had something to give you in return for this-"
"You've already given me the world and the stars beyond it, not to mention the moon."
"You know, you're way too poetic to be a fighter." Nickoli blinked, not realizing how he sounded, and Yue laughed at the cute face he made.
The dark angel shook his head and continued, "Make sure you get Kero back. I can't believe some of the things you let him get away with." Nickoli kissed Yue once, softly on the mouth. "I better go to the foyer, Nia's waiting."
The pair walked downstairs, Nickoli walking in front of the more reluctant Yue. Nia stood by the door, one of the Gretchumanians with her. She looked haggard, and Nickoli was immediately concerned. Maybe they weren't magically close, but the two still viewed each other as friends and lifelines.
"What happened? Are you alright, Mistress?" Nia noted the proper honorific, and smiled faintly.
"You used to call me Conniving Bitch."
"Yes, but that was when it appeared you had slept and eaten for the past week," Nickoli's eyes softened from their near panic at seeing the woman's shaky smile. He realized she needed his teasing right then, it was something she could use to ground herself. He sighed over-dramatically, "God, I leave you alone for a few days, and the next I see you it's obvious you didn't take care of yourself. Do you need me to remind you to eat?"
Nia actually laughed a bit at him, moved closer, and said quietly so Yue didn't hear, "Someone got action..."
Nickoli blushed deeply, biting his lower lip. "Is it that obvious?"
"To me, yes. You seem so relaxed when last I saw and you were kind of uptight. Then that moon angel comes strolling in and you're whipped. And now look at you, making lovey eyes at each other like schoolboys."
"I have no idea why I bother to try and be civil with you." Nickoli squeezed Yue's hand a final time.
"We best be going, I left the other Gretchumanians unattended in the house, that's a bad idea..."
"Then why'd you do it?" Nickoli said sarcastically. "Get moving, Conniving Bitch."
"Shut up you paranoid pyromaniac." Nia smiled, thinking to herself, {It's hard to believe he's capable of killing us all, and doesn't even realize it.}
"Hey, it's not my fault I was created with a fondness for fire." The dark angel said with pretend incorruption that was purposefully false.
The dark haired angel helped the sorceress into the waiting carriage, took one last, lingering look at Yue, and disappeared into the door. Clow and Yue waved good-bye, the angel more reluctantly, and Kero shouted his farewells. "You better come back sometime, crow feathers, I still think I can beat you in a race if I had more time to warm up!"
{Sure, of course you could Kero.} They heard Nickoli's voice mentally, dripping friendly sarcasm. {Angel, Yue, I love you. I'll miss you, but before you know it, I might show up again. Maybe when you least expect it. Until next time, beloved.} The last few sentences were just between the two angelic guardians. Yue returned the sentiment.
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Soon after that, Nickoli began visiting Yue at night, while Nia was lost in a deep, coma-like sleep. One particular visit was distressing.
Yue awoke to find his balcony doors open, gentle breeze blowing the cool night air into the room. A silhouette was sitting out on the balcony railing. Only in a pair of loose, light blue satin pants, the moon angel walked silently out into the night. On the railing sat Nickoli, but his clothes were different than usual. He was wearing loose black cloth pants, a dark red shirt that buttoned up the front. Instead of a sash around his waist, there was a dark brown leather sword belt hanging low on his hip, housing a deadly, jagged edged silver blade. His hair had been pulled back, but some must have fallen out as he flew over because it was windblown and tousled.
Yue wrapped his arms around the other man, who was actually crying silently. "What happened? Is something wrong with Nia? Are you alright?"
"I killed it," Nickoli's voice was hoarse, "I didn't mean to, but it happened. I was training, it was late but I had so much energy and couldn't get to sleep. So I went downstairs, grabbed my sword and started practicing. But it came in, that stupid wolf thing, and kept on growling at me and trying to bite me, so I just snapped and went at it with the sword..." That's when Yue noticed that the blade hanging by Nikki's leg was colored with red on the sharp side of it.
"You killed one of the Gretchumanians? Was it because of what's been happening to you lately?" The dark haired angel nodded without saying a word, and buried his head in Yue's shoulder. Yue watched in amazed horror as the blood dissolved off the sword. The silver haired angel bit his lip to keep from crying, because he remembered all too clearly what Clow had told him. He might loose the one he loves.
"They disappear once they die, so she won't figure out it's me and I'm not going to tell her. Yue, I can't control myself anymore..."
// Oh God no... // "Shh, it's all right, just stay here and calm down." //This can't be happening, not so fast! Clow said it would be a year...// "I'm sure if you focus, you can keep this under control." //What if he looses it? If he kills Nia? Will Clow be forced to destroy him? How fast is he loosing control? Was this just a temporary slip up, or is it more permanent? // Yue kissed the man on the head, and then softly on the lips, keeping his frightened, doubtful thoughts to himself. "You're the strongest person I know. If anyone can beat this, it's you." //and that's the truest reassurance I can give you. //
Nickoli attempted a smile, "I knew coming here was the right thing to do," He hugged the moon guardian close to himself, "I just thought if I could get to you, I'd be okay, everything would sort out. I need you," he whispered.
//God, please help him. //
[God, please help me.]
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On another night, much, much warmer than the previous ones, Nickoli visited in a drastically different mood. The moon angel woke to find Nikki only wearing his pants, leaning on the bed next to the guardian's previously sleeping form. The air was heavy with humidity and heat. Immediately Yue was enchanted, enthralled by the darkness in his lover's gaze, but taken off guard as well. He pulled the dark angel onto him, and Nickoli stared into his eyes for a moment that seemed to last forever. Suddenly his lips were pressed to the pale ones of Yue, with a crushing force and brutal hunger that slightly frightened the moon being.
Usually Nickoli would offer a greeting, or ask to be let inside. This time, he hadn't uttered a single word and was quickly making himself dominant over Yue. The black haired creature was forceful, emitting a dark passion and strength that Yue hadn't felt before. It should have scared him, but Yue always tried to trust Nickoli, even though he knew what could possibly be happening to his lover. //It could not possibly take effect this soon, could it? But what about that time he came and had killed the Gretchumanian? //. But the elemental guardian had his lover's wrists pinned to the bed, harshly digging his fingers into the soft white skin. He was kissing so hard it seemed as though he wished to devour the moon guardian. A dark, feral growl leapt from the visiting angel's throat. It was then that Yue did begin to get nervous, and summed up enough strength to push Nickoli off.
"Nikki, stop, please, what are doing?" Yue's face was filled with hurt, both physical and emotional, because of the pain his beloved inflicted on his wrists and lips. He was confused as to why Nikki would act in such a manner, and this disturbing behavior caused a small amount of fear in light of what Nickoli and Clow had told the guardian. Nickoli faltered and stopped, staring at Yue in confusion, then dumb shock and finally great, heart wrenching pain.
At first the dark eyed being's voice refused to work, and he seemed choked, mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out from it. When he did finally speak, it was in hoarse tones, as if he hadn't used his voice in weeks. "Yue I- I never meant to hurt you..." He pulled a hand across his lips, "I didn't even mean to come here, especially not now... I'm sorry... so sorry, for everything, for me..." He stood rapidly and looked around frantically, like a recently trapped animal. When he spoke again his voice was stronger, but there was a terrified, frantic edge to it, "I have to get out of here, I don't know if I can..."
"No, wait!" The moon guardian stood and pleaded, wanting his lover to unburden himself, wanting to help save the being's sanity.
Nickoli didn't hear as he exited the balcony, flying off with all the speed he could muster. Yue didn't realize until later that Nickoli had been loosing control and may have hurt him. It was the last time he ever saw the dark angel.
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(*What ravages of spirit, conjured this tempestuous rage
Created you a monster, broken by the rules of love
And fate has led you through it, you do what you have to do
Oh, and fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do...*)
(~And I have the sense to recognize, I don't know how to let you go...
...I'm ever swiftly moving trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you, I do what I have to do
... I know I can't be with you, I do what I have to do.~)
~Sarah McLachlan: "Do What You Have To Do"
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