A/N: Clow'd9- I'm not telling you how Touya will factor in later! You'll have to wait and see! And the bit about Nikki and Clow having a fight… great idea, really, but I've got news: Nickoli isn't coming back…
And Tristan is psycho, but it's not always so noticeable… (Sigh) well, you'll see what I mean! A few more explanations before things get going even more!
DISCLAIMER: I own Nickoli and Nia, along with her other creations, and the plot. I also own Tristan, who will be quite a major player in this once it gets going. Everyone else belongs to CLAMP, but the plot is original and mine. Please leave a review, and enjoy!
Chapter 11: What Shadows Reside in the Heart
"Yes, Tristan Sotalia is my brother. I am nearly twenty years older than he, as my mother gave birth to me when she was seventeen. After Tristan was born, my entire family could tell he was magically gifted, even more so than our parents and myself. My family was a fairly large clan of sorcerers in France, who Tristan systematically killed later. I'm the only survivor, besides him. He was trained as soon as he could understand spoken word. But deep down, inside his mind, something was and still is apparently very wrong. At first no one noticed other than myself, for I knew that his power was too great, too black to be normal. He was accomplishing magical incantations that took lifetimes of work for other sorcerers, and then creating his own, before he even reached teenage years.
"By age ten he had his own staff, his own variation of magic, and Nickoli. Nickoli was small, he was created as a three year old, so while he thinks he's only two years younger than you, Yue, in reality he missed the first three years of his life, making him five years your junior." Yue nealry choked. //He said he was eighteen... He's only *sixteen*?!// The moon guardian hid his inner panic from the others, thinking, // Within most cultures that's still considered as childhood! And I... we... // Since Yue's thoughts were not known to the others. Nia continued. "Since Tristan himself was so young when creating Nickoli, he disregarded the properties of what I believe you call yin and yang, opposite forces and balance, so he created but one guardian. Nickoli was very intelligent from the start, just like his master. He had perfected speech a month after his creation, could defeat a master in martial arts three months after that, and immediately had an affinity for the sword. Tristan once said to him, "He who lives by the sword will also die by it." He'd say little things like this often, but that one I remember distinctly. Nikki was seven, and Tristan was fourteen, and my brother had kissed Nickoli just after uttering the words.
"My parents discovered Tristan's attraction to Nickoli, though the guardian was still so unbelievably young, having accidentally seen this kiss. Nickoli was far too young to understand, and too loyal to question his master. At first, they thought nothing would come of it, that it was a one-time event and would cease immediately with Tristan seeing the error of his ways. But my father caught him again, and stopped Tristan. That's when Tristan lost control, and most sanity, and killed him. My mother uncovered Tristan's horrific actions, and set out to seal my brother. Tristan anticipated this move and set a deadly trap for her, one that ultimately ended her life after much pain. Note, all this was done in front of Nickoli, who was simply a frightened and traumatised child. Later, I ambushed Tristan with the help of another sorcerer and sealed him in his own locked chest he used to keep some things of personal value. Someone must have released him accidentally, and he must have destroyed them.
"When Tristan was sealed, I took Nickoli and locked his memories of Tristan away in the back of his mind, for it was impossible to erase them completely. All the things Tristan said and did to the angel were forgotten. I replaced these with memories of a happier childhood, with less dysfunction. Of course, I left some problems, like creating another death for my parents, because I didn't want them to be so perfect they were obviously false. That's why Nickoli never suspected anything, the memories he had were average, believable, even probable, and in all likeliness would have happened had I truly been his creator and Tristan not existed. But when Nikki was nine, a year after Tristan was imprisoned, those tattoos appeared on him. I was scared unto death by the sight of them. The roses, moon and thorns were Tristan's symbol, much as the sun and moon are yours, Clow. The phases of the moon were a special obsession of Tristan's. He had his own symbolic system for them, that the full moon meant rebirth and new moon meant death, but not in the conventional sense. His power was at its height on nights when there was no moon, because of the increased darkness. All things are free in death, all things are known. Rebirth can represent the closing of these doors, information that is known to us only in death is lost when we regain life. It was very confusing to me, but he understood it perfectly...
"It was then I knew Tristan would have an affect on Nickoli no matter where he was. It frightened me, these markings, because it displayed just how far Tristan's power could reach, and that it was strong enough to accomplish something so minor and detailed while still being sealed. Time passed, and Nickoli grew, at first remaining much the way he was at a younger age, sweet, funny, and kind. But Tristan was always attracted to darkness, and the darkness that he instilled in Nickoli became harder and harder for Nikki's receding childhood to mask. He was more serious, stronger, and became absolutely beautiful. As a child, he had been cute, but in the awkward way of chldren. He looked almost girlish, and like his legs were too long and thin for him, as a fawn not yet grown, and his fingers and hands too delicate to handle a sword that well, his features too pretty to promise a good-looking young man. But when he grew, his legs remained long, his hands and fingers remained long and delicate, but all proportioned out with his maturing appearance." Nia paused for the first time and laughed quietly, "It seemed as though I put him to bed one night, tucking him in with a story, and when he woke the next morning I was staring at a beautiful young man who was leaving with a *friend* for the night." The way Nia spoke the word friend, it was obvious that she meant a lover.
"Another of Tristan's effects was Nickoli's... sexuality. I know this is painfully personal, but it needs to be said. I found out he wasn't a virgin and had been with men and women. He revealed this information all in the same argument, while I shouted at him and he stood there laughing, like Tristan would have. I began to gage at which points Tristan was most powerful by Nickoli's mood. If Tristan were weak, he'd be tired and calm, more of the friendly, kind gentleman that I'd tried to raise him as. But when Tristan had power, he was restless, sarcastic, wild... and all the more alluring to the average person. These signs stopped a little over a year ago, both sides of his personality melding together and balancing out. I now know it was because my brother had been gathering power and was preparing to escape, or call someone to the chest to release him. But it was like Nickoli could be two people, one I helped grow up and the dark other I didn't even know. I knew some of this was because of the way Tristan had made him, and also because of the imbalance of magic within him. That's what I've been working on all these months; a cure to help him retain sanity.
"A few nights ago, Tristan came back, destroyed part of my home and took Nickoli off with him. I don't know where, I don't know how to find them, and really I have no claim to. Nickoli is Tristan's creation, his rightful possession, if you'll excuse the coarseness of this statement, and I don't have the right to come between a mage and his own guardian, whether or not that mage is fit to instruct the being. I honestly think Nickoli's better off deceased. Only the gods know what that abomination of a man will do to him. My house is damaged, but not completely destroyed. I can still sense most of my creations, and thankfully my friend Liletou is alive. I escaped from beneath the rubble of one wing of my home, and came hear in my delierium, and I thank you deeply for caring for me. I don't know what I'm going to do about my brother though..." Tears began falling down her face like crystal rain.
"You have no way of locating them?" Surprisingly, the soft question came from Keroberos.
"No," Nia practically sobbed. "I fear I've lost him forever... Poor Nickoli." Suddenly she looked up at Yue, who was silently gazing at the floor, tears in his eyes and anger on his face. "I'm so sorry, Yue, you know if there was anything I could do I would."
"If I ever see your brother, I swear I'll destroy him," the moon angel mumbled quietly.
"My dear," Nia said, strained, "I'll hand you the knife."
Clow stood abruptly, "There must be something we can do! He cannot have gone too far, he's only been released for maybe two weeks at most. It'll take him three times as long to regain his full magical power."
"That's assuming he doesn't have help, or drain off other magic users," Kero pointed out. His master glared at him, and the lion said, "I hate being the one to pull you down, but it seems I must be the voice of reason in the group for this situation. I'm not saying you shouldn't search, but we must view this from all angles and explore every possibility."
"Kero's right," Nia wiped her eyes. "I have enough strength to get out of this bed and do something. I don't care what you think of my condition," Nia said quickly to Clow at the look the mage gave her. She took to her feet, pulling on her tattered outer robe, which she insisted upon wearing since she'd woken up, and repaired it instantly with magic. The feat left no outward sign on her, so Clow gave in to her wishes. "We should start here in England, but after that I can think of the next destination he would go to."
"I know a spell that is used to locate a specific person's life energy, no matter how far away they are. We should attempt that also." Clow went into his study to make list the materials he would need to perform the spell. Some were very rare, and he'd probably need to call in some favors to obtain them. Nia, Kero, and Yue made preparations to journey through the area of England they were in, and as far away from the mansion as they dared to travel.