A/N: Again, gomen nasai for the overly long period between updates… but school is evil, and Real Life sucks. Try as I might, I simply cannot seem to write this too fast. Thank you so much for your support though, and I greatly appreciate all those who are kind enough to leave a review. At this end of this fic, I'll probably have a special section thanking constant reviewers, my inspirational helpers, and some little notes about this fic in general. Well then, on with the show! Please leave a review!! And go ahead. FLAME ME. I need a good laugh just about now…
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Clow, Kero, Yue, or any other CLAMP made character in this fic. But I do own the house, Tristan, and my beloved Nickoli.
Chapter 16
Clow swiftly pulled Yue against himself, stepping back and closer to Keroberos, all the while weaving a spell that immediately protected them from detection by anyone in the room with them, even Tristan. Clow had his arms around Yue, and was surprised to find the moon angel totally still. He'd expected some trembling or repressed sobs, but there was... nothing. Nothing at all. The mage looked anxiously down at his creation's face.
Yue's expression was so closed off and cold, he didn't even appear as the same person anymore. Though not a single emotion was betrayed on his beautiful face, the guardian had yet to perfect the technique with his eyes. The silvery cat eyes held pain and shock, and somehow or another Clow knew the angel hadn't fully processed what he was seeing. It was clear that Yue didn't want to believe what was right before them, and that he didn't grasp what was going on. Subconsciously, he was preventing himself from fully comprehending and reacting the sight of Nickoli and Tristan. He stared blankly out at nothing, trying to organize his thoughts. This was the main reason Clow had cast such a spell; though it was only temporary, it would give Yue a few moments to regain full control of himself.
Slowly, Yue processed the fact that strong, comforting arms were around his waist, that a warm body was pressed up against his back, that someone was absently stroking his hair soothingly. A slight trembling took the angel's hands, and his eyes widened a bit and went blank. Clow heard him mumble, "He didn't even notice me..." The voice was strangely monotone, worrying the taller man.
"Yue," Clow said forcefully, for his spell blocked noises as well, "Yue, look at me." The angel didn't move. "Come on Yue, look at me!" Finally, the guardian obeyed, purely on instinct. When his eyes met with the compassionate, understanding ones of his master, the trembling decreased in intensity. Clow cupped the angel's cheek gently, whispering, "I'm so sorry, but you have to pull together."
Yue stared for a few eternal seconds, his expression calming and closing off once more. He nodded slowly, trying not to allow any emotion to show through. It seemed as though his feelings had gotten him into this mess in the first place. Briefly, the desire to have never met Nickoli coalesced within him, seeming an easy escape from what he faced now. What if he'd never gone with Clow to Nia's house? What if he'd never met the dark angel? Wouldn't that make his life so much simpler than it had become? But his heart totally rejected the thought. It summoned up all the images of times when just being near Nickoli had made him so happy... but then the cynical portion of his mind forced him to look over at the couch where his supposed love was in another's arms.
The trio hadn't been in the room a full minute yet, when suddenly Yue noticed something. Very quickly, Nickoli had gone from willing participant to struggling. The moon angel tried to jump forward upon realizing that Nikki was not really where he wanted to be, but Clow held him back.
Fiercely, Yue told the mage, "Master, look! He's trying to push Tristan off! I need to help him!" Clow blinked and examined the two before him once again. His eyes widened as he noticed that Tristan had one of Nickoli's arms twisted back and over his head painfully, and the other trapped between them. Nickoli twisted his lithe body and freed his arm that had been wedged under the weight of his master, grabbing the blonde by the throat and pushing away forcefully. Tristan choked, and when Nickoli twisted again the black magician had no choice but to release his creation's arm, and he ended up on the floor. The blonde stood gracefully, smoothing his robes as he did so.
Tristan looked as though he was about to speak, and then stopped abruptly. His hand reached slowly up to his lips, and ran over the bottom one. His fingers came away bloody, and he gazed at them in shock before eyeing Nickoli with a glare. The ebony and crimson haired young man was still sitting on the couch, staring indignantly back at the taller man. Tristan's eyes darkened dramatically as he said, "You bastard, you bit me!"
Nickoli smirked as he rubbed his wrist. "You were the one who started playing rough. If you can't take it, then keep your hands off me."
Tristan literally growled. "Don't try and threaten me!" He stalked closer to his creation, clasping the angel's neck in his left hand as he pushed him onto his back on the couch. "You've no idea what playing rough is! I'll beat you until your blood stops flowing!"
The mage's handsome face was twisted into a feral snarl, and Nickoli bared his teeth at his master before kicking him in the stomach. When the man lurched backward once again, the guardian darted off the couch and made swiftly for the door, mumbling, "I should have gotten away from you, I'd rather go insane then endure your company one moment longer! I won't let you hurt him-"
The angel stopped as he heard his master begin to laugh, quietly. "You said only 'him'. Does that mean you don't care what I do to the other two?" Nickoli paused before answering, hesitating. Tristan laughed again, walking up to the midnight eyed one in an unthreatening way. "Let's make a deal, my pet. I won't hurt him. I swear it to you on my ability to perform magic." Nickoli made the mistake of turning to face the tall blonde, eyes wide. Tristan's smiled turned into a malicious smirk as he grabbed Nikki's hair, pulling back painfully. "I'll hurt you instead," he finished, and before the dark angel could react and protect himself, Tristan threw a vicious punch directly to his face, sending him flying backwards and subsequently closer to Clow, Kero and Yue.
Nickoli landed on his back, painfully, and groaned. Tristan remained where he was as the longhaired youth stood slowly. Looking down resignedly, he answered softly, "Do what you will to hurt me then. I'll allow it as long as you don't hurt Yue."
Behind him, Yue's eyes widened. Nickoli had just agreed to what would probably extreme, horrible, and sadistic torture for as long as Tristan could get to him... all for a promise that Yue wouldn't be harmed... And only a few minutes ago Yue had been wishing he'd never met this man... Someone who was more or less sacrificing his freedom in exchange for his safety. He couldn't stand it anymore. As Tristan walked up to Nickoli once more, taking him by the front of the shirt, Yue did all he could.
He walked out of Clow's spell, pushed Nickoli out of the way, and punched a very surprised Tristan directly in the face. Nickoli stumbled back, staring in surprise and gasping. Clow lunged forward almost as soon as Yue did, trying to stop him but just a fraction too late. Kero sprang immediately in front of his master, purely out of an instinctual desire to protect him. Everyone froze, no one moving for seconds that stretched into eternity.
~Yue, what are you doing?! You'll get yourself killed, my angel!~
//Brother, this is suicidal!//
{Where the fuck did he come from?! He's dead... I don't care what I said to Nick-}
//There's no way in hell I'll let him hurt you-//
[You went through hell for me. Oh Yue...]
//I came all this way for you, I'm not giving up now-//
[But I'll put you through worse. You've got to get out of here-]
//I love you too much to abandon you-//
[Yue, I-]
//I'll love you no matter what will happen, no matter how you change-//
[God, I love you so much, I just can't-]
//Can't leave here without you, my life will end without you-//
[I don't know how I'm going to exist after this, without you-]
//I'll never leave you-//
[You have to leave me-]
//I'll die without you-//
[You'll die if you stay, or if I go with you-]
//All I know is I love you, and I won't let it end this way-//
[I love you. This has to end.]
Tristan looked at the revealed trio, and began to laugh. Nickoli remained on the floor as if he'd lost all strength, staring at Yue as if he was seeing a ghost. Yue was also looking at Nickoli, realizing that the other guardian actually looked a little different. It was an odd observation at the moment, but Yue had expected him to look ill, miserable. But instead, he appeared even healthier than he had the last few times the moon angel had seen him. Some sort of new vitality was added, an increase of both magical and physical strength. But within his midnight blue eyes, there was a haunted, almost tormented appeal. Yue was just starting to realize what a huge effect Tristan had already had upon his mind.
Clow stepped forward bravely to stand next to his moon guardian in a gesture of support. Keroberos flanked him on the other side. The mage slowly looked over the still-chuckling necromancer, and stated quietly, "What you do, Mr. Sotalia, is wrong."
Tristan raised a dark golden eyebrow. "Wrong? And who are you, to judge that? Perhaps I think all the freedom you allow your creations is wrong."
Clow shook his head vehemently. "It's more than a question of moral treatment anymore. It's a question of abusing and taking advantage of life you created."
"Stop this!" Nickoli broke in suddenly. Nervously, he proclaimed, "Obviously I can't deny the charge of abuse, but Tristan has never taken advantage-"
"What would you call your position a few minutes ago then?!" Yue challenged angrily. "It wasn't exactly willing."
Nickoli bowed his head, letting his hair obscure his face from Yue's view. "Don't do this, Yue. Take your family and leave here. I've found the only family I have."
"I refuse to believe that!" Yue moved to stand above his lover, reaching down and pulling his face up so he could look him in his eyes, "We are your family! And Nia, we are all your family, and we are the ones who truly care about you-"
Tristan was suddenly grabbing Yue's shoulder, spinning the angel around to face him and holding him there. There was rage in his eyes, and furiously he questioned, "Are you implying that I don't care about him?!" His eyes narrowed. "That is the only truth I will openly state to you, and you call it a lie, a motion I thought below even you. You know nothing about me, or Nickoli, for that matter, only what my bitch of a sister wanted you to know. I care for him more fully and completely than you ever could, if you knew the truth. But you-know-nothing!"
He stepped away from a shocked Yue as quickly as he'd approached, turning once more to Clow. Physically, he didn't say a word, but one of Tristan's talents was telepathy.
{Don't try and pretend to be so virtuous, Clow Reed. I know for a fact that you've had very similar thoughts to my own... how easy it would be just to tweak his mind a little bit... the slightest push in the right direction to get you what you want-}
Clow's eyes widened, and mentally he answered, ~You think you know so much, don't you?! I would never do something like that to Yue! More than just my guardian, Yue is my friend as well, and I respect him. You're such a bastard-!~
Tristan smiled and shook his head. {You seriously think you're any better than I? Oh, I know what your precious guardians don't... I read all the secrets you kept from them, right off your heart. Secret things you've contemplated, even the times you dabbled in black arts forbidden to you as a good mage...} His eyes narrowed as he smirked, {No, Mr. Reed, you are in fact worse than I. I do not lie about what I am; I recognize my evil and am not proud. You hide behind the guise of a white magician, fooling everyone into thinking you're a virtuous and saintly man. You lie constantly, to everyone you meet. But you can't hide what you are from me.}
Clow was enraged, ~How dare you say these things to me?! You don't know anything about me! You have no idea why I do the things I do, my motivations or anything! I am nothing like you!~
Tristan shook his head, {I never said you were. You inferred that by yourself.}
Clow retaliated angrily, ~You implied it! No one is worse than you, you're a monster, abusing the life you created-~
That seemed to strike something within the blonde mage. {Despite what you think, I do not abuse Nickoli. The only reason I hurt him today was because of you. All the pain he endures after this is your fault.} Clow's dark eyes widened with surprise. It was through this reaction that Tristan knew he'd truly struck a nerve. {That's right. Would you like to know how it's your fault? You introduced him to Yue, who he insists on obsessing over and protecting. Now, if you hadn't done that, not only would Nickoli be happier with me, unharmed in any way, Yue would not have gotten drawn into this. He'd never go through this pain you've forced on him, and all the precautions I take to protect my home would not have hurt him.}
{So, this whole situation, both Nickoli's mental deterioration and Yue's emotional pain, could have been prevented if they'd never met. I would have taken Nickoli sooner and with less of a fight, and I would have been able to stop what's happening to his mind. He would have been much more sane than he's becoming, and both would have been happier, in the end. I would have my guardian all to myself, and you would have had yours as well. But, you're bad judgment put them both in their own personal hells. Look what you did, Clow Reed.}
{Beyond this, look at us. You may not want it say, but I will say it; I could most easily be the same type of person as you, and you could be as I am, were our places switched. Even our magic is similar... just look at our guardians. Had you grown up as I had, do you think you'd fare any better? No. You'd be the one standing here, trying to defend your home from me, who was trying to put myself out as such a good person when all I'd really be doing is hiding from myself, as you do even now. You refuse to admit this, you refuse to see that you are not infallible, you are not completely righteous. In fact, you've been manipulating your moon guardian's reactions this whole time, to focus him more on you than the lion, to bring him close to you. Dark magic, manipulation, it's in your nature as much as it dwells in mine. You know it's true; when Nia spoke to you of the principles in my form of magic, you understood. We are the same, but you deny what you are and cause this pain.}
Clow felt himself falling into his old patterns of guilt. What really bothered him was the fact that Tristan's words mirrored his own earlier thoughts, so it felt as though these ideas were solidifying into facts. If Tristan had noticed, than everyone else must have reasoned the same way, which would mean this situation would have to his fault...
While his master followed this downward spiral of guilt, Yue stared at Nickoli. The black haired guardian had remained on the cold, tile floor the entire time, staring up with a strange expression on his face. Yue couldn't read the other's confused emotions at the moment, but it was suffice to say that he did not approve of this whole scenario. Yue studied his lover, noting the slight changes in his dark eyes and demeanor. Sitting on the floor as he was and now knowing the other's true age, he thought Nickoli seemed so painfully young, so vulnerable. His midnight blue eyes had a few tears in them, and he looked confused as to what he should next do.
And Nickoli was caught between his mind and his heart. His mind told him that Tristan was his Master, it was his duty and purpose to support him. But his heart spoke of his love for Yue, Clow Reed and Keroberos' kindness... Slowly he stood, taking a step towards Tristan. He said softly, "Please, don't."
Tristan looked at him almost coldly. "The infiltrate my house, and you ask for mercy on them?"
"It's my fault they're even here, you know that." Nickoli began growing angry once more, maturing from the frightened young teenager into the sleek fighter before Yue's very eyes, "Leave them be, damn you! Just expel them from here and leave them, you know you can do it!"
Tristan calmed, smirking. "Yes. I know I could do it. Very easily, I could throw them out and we could leave here. It would be very simple. But," he added with a sinister grin, "Simple was never my forte." With this, and condensed ball of electricity flew towards Clow. And, being closest and only doing his duty, Yue jumped in the way. Far enough away to allow everyone to process what was going to happen, the navy blue energy continued its flight toward Yue uninterrupted.