Romeo and Juliet
**
NoV: Oh-kay, Sylphiel. Time for the chorus. Go on out there!
Sylphiel: Oh-kay. Gourry-dear, I'll be right back. Don't you worry.
Gourry: Bye, bye.
Sylphiel: (walks onto the stage) Good evening, everyone! (sings) Two households, both alike in dignity!
NoV: Gah! She's not supposed to actually sing it!!
Sylphiel: In FAIR Verona where we lay our scene! From ancient grudge break to new mutiny!
NoV: Well, I did say for everyone to use their own interpretation. (sigh)
Gourry: Nova-chan? There's no kitchen in here!
NoV: You don't have time to eat! You're in the next scene!!
Gourry: Aww..
Sylphiel: Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean! From forth the fatal loins of these two foes! A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life. Whose misadventur'd piteous overthrows! Do with their death bury their parents' strife. The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love! And the continuance of their parents' rage! Which but their children's end nought could remove! Is now the two hours' traffick of out stage! The which if you with patient ear attend! What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend! (bows) Thank-you, thank-you. (goes backstage)
NoV: All right, for this first scene, I only need Lady Montague and Benvolio. Zelas? Gourry? Get out there!
Zelas: See you in a few, Xelly-boy!
Xelloss: Bai Mommy! (waves)
(Zelas and Gourry walk onto the stage)
Zelas: (poses) O! Where is Romeo? Saw you him to-day? Right glad I am he was not at this fray.
Gourry: From what I see, he's under a tree.
Zelas: (sweatdrop) Many a morning hath he been seen, with tears augmenting the fresh morning dew, adding to the clouds with his deep-oh, forget it. (puffs her cigarette)
NoV: (behind the curtain) No! This isn't happening! Bish! You're the director! Take control of these people!
Bishounen: (peers onto the stage, whispers) Zelas?
Zelas: (looks over her shoulder) Yes?
NoV: -.-0 Never mind. Skip to the part where Lady Montague exits and Romeo enters.
Zelas: (leaves with a sassy walk)
NoV: Xelloss? You're on. (waits) Xelloss?? (looks around, suspiciously) Xelloss!!
Filia: It's just like that stupid namagomi to do something like this. You can't trust mazoku, because they're evil and ugly and WEIRD!!
NoV: Oh-kay, enough of that. Xelloss!!!!
(back on-stage)
Gourry: (stupidly looks around) Well.. (gasp) This is my big break!! (starts singing) Oh bee-u-tee-ful for manga skies! For anime waves of plain! For superstitious magic-lees upon the fruity grain! America, AMERICA! L-sama shed some slight on me!
NoV: (hits her head on a pole) My life is over.
Rezo: Take that!! (kicks Kopii)
Kopii: You kick like a girl!! (whacks Rezo)
Rezo: You ARE a girl! (steps on Kopii's foot)
Milgasia: (to Phibby) You know, I once played Romeo in this same play.
Phibby: (skeptically) Oh, really?
Milgasia: Just kidding.
Phibby: (sigh)
NoV: XELLOSS!!! YOU'RE RUINING MY PLAY!!
(back on-stage)
Gourry: Ta-DA!!
Audience: (chirp, chirp)
Xelloss: (appears out of nowhere) It is I, Romeo Montague!
Gourry: Um..morning, cousin!
Xelloss: Is the day so young?
Gourry: It's nine o'clock.
Xelloss: Ay me! sad hours seem long. Was that my mother that went hence so fast?
Gourry: Um..yeah. Why're you sad?
NoV: (rubs forehead) I knew Gourry wouldn't know any of the lines. I knew it I knew it I knew it. Bishounen, do my a favor and massage my shoulders.
Bishounen: Ay, ay, captain!
Xelloss: Not having that, which having, makes them short. (poses dramatically)
Gourry: Huh?
Xelloss: Out-
Gourry: Out where?
Xelloss: Out of her favour, where I am in love.
Gourry: Who?
Xelloss: Alas! That love, whose view is muffled still, should, without eyes, see pathways to his will. Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here? Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all. Here's much to do with hate, but more with love. Why then, O brawling love! O loving hate! O any thing! Of nothing first create. O heavy lightness! Serious vanity! Mis- shapen chaos of well-seeming forms! Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health! Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is! This love feel I, that feel no love in this. Dost thou not laugh?
NoV: Well, somebody certainly knows their lines. Gaav, bring me my peanuts, please.
Gaav: I left them in the car.
NoV: In your car?
Gaav: (sarcasm) No. In the police car.
NoV: (giggles) Excuse me, officer, but I do believe that you have my nuts. (laughs harder)
Zelgadis: And the insanity spreads.
Amelia: Mr. Zelgadis, I LOVE you!!
Zelgadis: Curse the day I married a swine.
Amelia: Are you calling me fat??
Zelgadis: No. I was comparing fate to a farm animal. Marrying fate is being cursed. And fate is a fat pig. Understand??
Amelia: Don't use metaphors in the presence of a lady!
Zelgadis: (grabs NoV's collar) Shoot me.
NoV: Am I gonna have to start a self-help group in here or what??
Valgaav: I am not a child. I am not a child. I am not a child. I am not a child. I am not a child.
Sylphiel: Yes, and keep saying that until you FEEL it.
(back on-stage)
Gourry: No, I'm crying.
Xelloss: Good heart, at what?
Gourry: Because you're crying.
Xelloss: Why, such is love's transgression. Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast. (giggle)
NoV: Immature baka.
Xelloss: Which thou wilt propagate to have it press'd with more of thine: this love that thou hast shown doth add more grief to too much of mine own. Love is a smoke rais'd with the fume of sighs. Being purg'd, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes. Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet. A choking fall, and a preserving sweet. Farewell my coz. (begins to walk away)
Gourry: I wanna go too!
Xelloss: Tut! I have lost myself; I am not here; This is not Romeo; he's some other where.
Gourry: Hee. Under-wear.
Xelloss: What! shall I groan and tell thee?
Gourry: Um..uh-huh.
Xelloss: Bid a sick man in sadness make his will; Ah! Word ill urg'd to one that is so ill. In sadness, cousin, I do love a woman.
Gourry: I should hope so.
Xelloss: A right good mark-man! And she's fair I love.
Gourry: What does that mean?
Xelloss: Well, in that hit you miss: she'll not be hit. With Cupid's arrow; she hath Dian's wit; and, in strong proof of chastity well arm'd, from love's weak childish blow she lives unharm'd. She will not stay the siege of loving terms, nor bide the encounter of assailing eyes, nor ope her lap to saint-seducing gold: O! she is rich in beauty; only poor that, which she dies, with beauty dies her store.
Gourry: Store?
(back-stage)
Kopii: You shall perish... (flicks Rezo)
Rezo: I'll destroy you.. (pokes Kopii)
NoV: Martina! You're not dressed for your part! You're wearing that skimpy thing!!
Martina: Your point?
NoV: You can't be skimpy in a Shakespearean play! You look like a prostitute!
Martina: So? They had prostitutes, didn't they?
NoV: Yes, but you're supposed to be a man!!
Martina: Ohh..heh. Right. (goes to dress)
NoV: Headache, headache, headache.
(back on-stage)
Xelloss: She hath, and in that sparing makes huge waste; for beauty, starv'd with her severity, cuts beauty off from all posterity. She is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair. To merit bliss by making me despair: she hath forsworn to love, and in that vow do I live dead that live to tell it now.
Gourry: Zzzzzzzzz...
Xelloss: (loudly) O!!
Gourry: Huh?? Wha?
Xelloss: Teach me how I should forget to think.
Gourry: Oh, it's easy to forget to think. You just uhhhhhhhhhh...
Xelloss: 'Tis the way to call hers exquisite, in question more. These happy masks that kiss fair ladies' brows being black puts us in mind they hide the fair: he that is strucken blind cannot forget the precious treasure of eyesight lost: show me a mistress that is passing fair, what doth he beauty serve but as a note where I may read who pass'd that passing fair? Farewell: thou canst not teach me to forget.
Gourry: And then you uhhhhhhhhhhhh...
(Gourry and Xelloss leave the stage)
NoV: That could've been worse. I'm not sure how, but-
Xelloss: I am the best actor to have ever played the part of Romeo!
Lina: Yeah, right.
Xelloss: Juliet! I love thee.
Lina: Why did I try out for this part? Why, why, why??
NoV: Join us for the next scene!
**
NoV: Oh-kay, Sylphiel. Time for the chorus. Go on out there!
Sylphiel: Oh-kay. Gourry-dear, I'll be right back. Don't you worry.
Gourry: Bye, bye.
Sylphiel: (walks onto the stage) Good evening, everyone! (sings) Two households, both alike in dignity!
NoV: Gah! She's not supposed to actually sing it!!
Sylphiel: In FAIR Verona where we lay our scene! From ancient grudge break to new mutiny!
NoV: Well, I did say for everyone to use their own interpretation. (sigh)
Gourry: Nova-chan? There's no kitchen in here!
NoV: You don't have time to eat! You're in the next scene!!
Gourry: Aww..
Sylphiel: Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean! From forth the fatal loins of these two foes! A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life. Whose misadventur'd piteous overthrows! Do with their death bury their parents' strife. The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love! And the continuance of their parents' rage! Which but their children's end nought could remove! Is now the two hours' traffick of out stage! The which if you with patient ear attend! What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend! (bows) Thank-you, thank-you. (goes backstage)
NoV: All right, for this first scene, I only need Lady Montague and Benvolio. Zelas? Gourry? Get out there!
Zelas: See you in a few, Xelly-boy!
Xelloss: Bai Mommy! (waves)
(Zelas and Gourry walk onto the stage)
Zelas: (poses) O! Where is Romeo? Saw you him to-day? Right glad I am he was not at this fray.
Gourry: From what I see, he's under a tree.
Zelas: (sweatdrop) Many a morning hath he been seen, with tears augmenting the fresh morning dew, adding to the clouds with his deep-oh, forget it. (puffs her cigarette)
NoV: (behind the curtain) No! This isn't happening! Bish! You're the director! Take control of these people!
Bishounen: (peers onto the stage, whispers) Zelas?
Zelas: (looks over her shoulder) Yes?
NoV: -.-0 Never mind. Skip to the part where Lady Montague exits and Romeo enters.
Zelas: (leaves with a sassy walk)
NoV: Xelloss? You're on. (waits) Xelloss?? (looks around, suspiciously) Xelloss!!
Filia: It's just like that stupid namagomi to do something like this. You can't trust mazoku, because they're evil and ugly and WEIRD!!
NoV: Oh-kay, enough of that. Xelloss!!!!
(back on-stage)
Gourry: (stupidly looks around) Well.. (gasp) This is my big break!! (starts singing) Oh bee-u-tee-ful for manga skies! For anime waves of plain! For superstitious magic-lees upon the fruity grain! America, AMERICA! L-sama shed some slight on me!
NoV: (hits her head on a pole) My life is over.
Rezo: Take that!! (kicks Kopii)
Kopii: You kick like a girl!! (whacks Rezo)
Rezo: You ARE a girl! (steps on Kopii's foot)
Milgasia: (to Phibby) You know, I once played Romeo in this same play.
Phibby: (skeptically) Oh, really?
Milgasia: Just kidding.
Phibby: (sigh)
NoV: XELLOSS!!! YOU'RE RUINING MY PLAY!!
(back on-stage)
Gourry: Ta-DA!!
Audience: (chirp, chirp)
Xelloss: (appears out of nowhere) It is I, Romeo Montague!
Gourry: Um..morning, cousin!
Xelloss: Is the day so young?
Gourry: It's nine o'clock.
Xelloss: Ay me! sad hours seem long. Was that my mother that went hence so fast?
Gourry: Um..yeah. Why're you sad?
NoV: (rubs forehead) I knew Gourry wouldn't know any of the lines. I knew it I knew it I knew it. Bishounen, do my a favor and massage my shoulders.
Bishounen: Ay, ay, captain!
Xelloss: Not having that, which having, makes them short. (poses dramatically)
Gourry: Huh?
Xelloss: Out-
Gourry: Out where?
Xelloss: Out of her favour, where I am in love.
Gourry: Who?
Xelloss: Alas! That love, whose view is muffled still, should, without eyes, see pathways to his will. Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here? Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all. Here's much to do with hate, but more with love. Why then, O brawling love! O loving hate! O any thing! Of nothing first create. O heavy lightness! Serious vanity! Mis- shapen chaos of well-seeming forms! Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health! Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is! This love feel I, that feel no love in this. Dost thou not laugh?
NoV: Well, somebody certainly knows their lines. Gaav, bring me my peanuts, please.
Gaav: I left them in the car.
NoV: In your car?
Gaav: (sarcasm) No. In the police car.
NoV: (giggles) Excuse me, officer, but I do believe that you have my nuts. (laughs harder)
Zelgadis: And the insanity spreads.
Amelia: Mr. Zelgadis, I LOVE you!!
Zelgadis: Curse the day I married a swine.
Amelia: Are you calling me fat??
Zelgadis: No. I was comparing fate to a farm animal. Marrying fate is being cursed. And fate is a fat pig. Understand??
Amelia: Don't use metaphors in the presence of a lady!
Zelgadis: (grabs NoV's collar) Shoot me.
NoV: Am I gonna have to start a self-help group in here or what??
Valgaav: I am not a child. I am not a child. I am not a child. I am not a child. I am not a child.
Sylphiel: Yes, and keep saying that until you FEEL it.
(back on-stage)
Gourry: No, I'm crying.
Xelloss: Good heart, at what?
Gourry: Because you're crying.
Xelloss: Why, such is love's transgression. Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast. (giggle)
NoV: Immature baka.
Xelloss: Which thou wilt propagate to have it press'd with more of thine: this love that thou hast shown doth add more grief to too much of mine own. Love is a smoke rais'd with the fume of sighs. Being purg'd, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes. Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet. A choking fall, and a preserving sweet. Farewell my coz. (begins to walk away)
Gourry: I wanna go too!
Xelloss: Tut! I have lost myself; I am not here; This is not Romeo; he's some other where.
Gourry: Hee. Under-wear.
Xelloss: What! shall I groan and tell thee?
Gourry: Um..uh-huh.
Xelloss: Bid a sick man in sadness make his will; Ah! Word ill urg'd to one that is so ill. In sadness, cousin, I do love a woman.
Gourry: I should hope so.
Xelloss: A right good mark-man! And she's fair I love.
Gourry: What does that mean?
Xelloss: Well, in that hit you miss: she'll not be hit. With Cupid's arrow; she hath Dian's wit; and, in strong proof of chastity well arm'd, from love's weak childish blow she lives unharm'd. She will not stay the siege of loving terms, nor bide the encounter of assailing eyes, nor ope her lap to saint-seducing gold: O! she is rich in beauty; only poor that, which she dies, with beauty dies her store.
Gourry: Store?
(back-stage)
Kopii: You shall perish... (flicks Rezo)
Rezo: I'll destroy you.. (pokes Kopii)
NoV: Martina! You're not dressed for your part! You're wearing that skimpy thing!!
Martina: Your point?
NoV: You can't be skimpy in a Shakespearean play! You look like a prostitute!
Martina: So? They had prostitutes, didn't they?
NoV: Yes, but you're supposed to be a man!!
Martina: Ohh..heh. Right. (goes to dress)
NoV: Headache, headache, headache.
(back on-stage)
Xelloss: She hath, and in that sparing makes huge waste; for beauty, starv'd with her severity, cuts beauty off from all posterity. She is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair. To merit bliss by making me despair: she hath forsworn to love, and in that vow do I live dead that live to tell it now.
Gourry: Zzzzzzzzz...
Xelloss: (loudly) O!!
Gourry: Huh?? Wha?
Xelloss: Teach me how I should forget to think.
Gourry: Oh, it's easy to forget to think. You just uhhhhhhhhhh...
Xelloss: 'Tis the way to call hers exquisite, in question more. These happy masks that kiss fair ladies' brows being black puts us in mind they hide the fair: he that is strucken blind cannot forget the precious treasure of eyesight lost: show me a mistress that is passing fair, what doth he beauty serve but as a note where I may read who pass'd that passing fair? Farewell: thou canst not teach me to forget.
Gourry: And then you uhhhhhhhhhhhh...
(Gourry and Xelloss leave the stage)
NoV: That could've been worse. I'm not sure how, but-
Xelloss: I am the best actor to have ever played the part of Romeo!
Lina: Yeah, right.
Xelloss: Juliet! I love thee.
Lina: Why did I try out for this part? Why, why, why??
NoV: Join us for the next scene!