Romeo and Juliet
**
NoV: Oh-kay, hopefully we've worked out all the bugs from the last scene. If you get all your lines right, Gourry, I'll throw you a brownie party.
Gourry: With brownies??
NoV: Um..yes. With brownies.
Gourry: I'll DO it!!!
NoV: Good. But, for the first part, I only need Capulet and Paris. Zel? Val? It's time.
Zel&Val: I HAVE TO WORK WITH **HIM**???
NoV: Well, you're both paranoidal kings of angst, you should work very efficiently together.
Zelgadis: (glare)
Valgaav: (glare)
Zel&Val: Oh-kay.
(Zelgadis and Valgaav walk onto the stage)
Zelgadis: Montague is bound as well as I, in penalty alike; and 'tis not hard, I think-
Xelloss: (giggle)
NoV: Don't.
Xelloss: But I-
NoV: DON'T.
Xelloss: :p ^.^
Zelgadis: (hears whispering back-stage_ A-HEM!
Minna: (look shocked)
Zelgadis: Better.
Phibby: Perfectionist.
Zelgadis: Grrr..for men as old as..we? I am not old.
NoV: (harsh whisper) Zel! You're as bad as Gourry!
Gourry: (a bit loudly) Yeah, and I ate garlic for breakfast!
Minna: ??
NoV: Get on with it, plebian!
Zelgadis: Hey! I happen to KNOW what that means.
Bishounen: Donuts, anyone?
NoV&Zel: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!!
Valgaav: (sniffle) I'll never get my big debut at this rate.
Filia: You barbarians!! You made my poor, sweet Val-Val cry!!
Xelloss: (snicker) Val-Val. I hafta write that down. (pulls out his 'Book of Demeaning Nicknames' and scribbles down 'Val-Val')
NoV: Zelgadis, say the last four words of your opening line, please.
Zelgadis: (grumbled) To keep the peace.
Valgaav: (deep, dramatic voice) Of HONOURABLE reckoning are you BOTH!!! And pity 'TIS you liv'd at odds SO long!! But now, my lord, what say you to my suit?
Zelgadis: (trying to recover from dramatic Val) Um..but saying o'er what I have said before: My child is yet a stranger in the world---
Amelia: (whispers) Mr. Zelgadis!
Zelgadis: What??
Amelia: OUR child. OUR child is yet a stranger in the world.
Zelgadis: I'd be compromising Shakespeare! I refuse to do it for your selfish giddy desires.
Amelia: ;_; But, Mr. Zelgadis!!
Zelgadis: No!
Rezo: I shall---urgh..
Kopii: And I'll...gah..
(both fall unconscious)
NoV: My play..
Bishounen: Frozen yogurt? It's fre-esh!
NoV: My play...
Bishounen: I've got strawburry, vanilla, and chocolate!
Phibby: Cho-co-late.
NoV: My..play..
Zelgadis: As I was saying, she hath not seen the change of fourteen years; let two more summers wither in their pride ere we may think her ripe to be a bride.
Valgaav: (dramatic voice again) Younger than SHE are HAPPY mothers made!!
Zelgadis: And too soon marr'd are those so early made. Come, go with me. Go, sirrah, trudge about through fair Verona; find those persons out whose names are written there, and to them say, my house and welcome on their pleasure stay.
NoV: ...AGG!!
Phibby: AGG!
Gourry: AGG!!
Xelloss: AGG!
Lina: AGG?
Amelia: (happily) AGG!
NoV: Stop it! We NEED a servant! The entire structure of the play depends on this servant bungling things up!! (suddenly turns very sweet) My dear, Bishounen...
Bishounen: No!! I've never been a servant in my entire life! And I don't plan on starting now, either!
NoV: But, Bishy-wishy, I NEED you.
Bishounen: I am a prince! I don't even LOOK like a servant!
NoV: Well, Xelloss doesn't look like Romeo, but we'll get over it!
Xelloss: Hey..
(Zel and Val come back-stage)
Zelgadis: They're going to riot out there if you don't do something quick.
NoV: (fake-sniffle) Bishy, I'll CRY!!
Bishounen: (eyes tear up) ..I'LL CRY TOO!!! WAAAAAAHH!!!
NoV: Oh-kay, oh-kay, stop. Just go on out there and read the cue cards.
Minna: CUE CARDS???
NoV: We'll improvise. Bishy-Bish?
Bishounen: Oh-kay. I'll do it. Not for you, not for me, but for the united ice skaters of the free world!
NoV: All righty. GO.
(Bish walks onto the stage)
Bishounen: (looks around for cue cards, shrugs)
NoV: (whacks Milgasia over the head, yelling at him for something)
Milgasia: (teleports into the balcony with billboard-sized, crudely-written cue cards)
Bishounen: Ah!
(Xelloss and Gourry walk onto the stage)
NoV: And remember, Goo-chan: brownies.
Gourry: (in a daze) Brooooooooowneeeeeeses.
Bishounen: Find them oar whose games are written spear!
NoV: Oy. Why didn't I see this coming?
Phibby: (leans over her shoulder, floating in the air) I dunno. Why didn't you?
NoV: (flicks Phibby)
Phibby: Ow.
Bishounen: It is written that the flu-maker should pedal with his barn, and the sailor with his cast, the scissors with his stencil, and the fainter with his pets; but I am sent to sign those persons, whose fames are here writ-writ??
NoV: Yes. That's right.
Bishounen: Oh-kay. -and can ever find what sames the written person hath her write. I must to the learn-ed. In food time.
Gourry: (chants brownies over and over) Tut! Man, one fire burns out another's burning. Our pain is lesssen'd by another's anguish; turn giddy, and be holp by backward turning, one desperate grief curse with another's languish: take thou some new infection to thy eye-(giggle) Eyeball.
Lina: Gourry's spurts of intelligence never last very long.
Amelia: (shakes her head sadly)
Gourry: And some poison that kills old people.
Xelloss: Your plantain leaf is excellent for that.
Gourry: What, why?
Xelloss: For your broken shin.
Gourry: My shin? My shin isn't broken.
Xelloss: Not mad, but bound more than a madman is; shut up in prison, kept without my food, whipp'd and tormented, and-
Amelia: Oh, poor Mr. Xelloss.
Zelas: Don't sweat it. It's quite enjoyable.
Amelia: (nervous laugh)
Xelloss: Good den, good fellow.
Bishounen: ..(whistling) Oh! Is it my turn? Um..lessee...God gi' good den...what's that mean?
NoV: Don't worry about what it means, just say it!!
Bishounen: Kay. I fray, sir, can you seed?
Xelloss: Ay, mine own fortune is my misery.
Bishounen: Perhaps you have learn-ed it without hook: but, I pray, fan you deed any thing you wee?
Xelloss: (grumble) You obviously can't. Ay, if I know the letters and the language.
Bishounen: Ye pay honestly; best you berry!
Xelloss: Stay, fellow, I can read. "Signor Martino and his wife-
Martina: That's me!! (prepares to run onto the stage)
Phibby: (grabs Martina's cloak)
Martina: (Turns around to face Phibby) Phi-Phibbrizzo?
Phibby: Mary!!
Martina: AAAAAHHH!!!
NoV: Quiet!
Xelloss: A-hem. "-and daughters; County Anselme and his beauteous sisters; the lady widow of Vitruvio; Singior Placentio, and his lovely nieces Mercutio and his brother Valentine; mine uncle Capulet, his wife and daughters, my fair niece Rosaline; Livia; Signior Valentio and his cousin Tybalt; Lucio and the lively Helena." That was a mouthful. A fair assembly: wither should they come?
Bishounen: Up.
Xelloss: Whiter?
Bishounen: To supper; to our spouse.
Xelloss: Whose spouse---err, house?
Bishounen: My master's.
Xelloss: Indeed, I should have asked you that before.
Bishounen: Now I'll tell you without basking. My master is the eight rich Capulet; and if you sot be of the house of Montagues, I stay, come and brush a sup of wine. Rest you fairy! (goes back-stage)
Gourry: They're gonna have food!
Xelloss: When the devour religion of mine eye maintains such falsehood, then turn tears to fires! And these, who often drown'd could never die, transparent heretics, be burnt for liars! One fairer than my love! The all- seeing sun ne'er saw her match since first the world begun
Gourry: You realize that she's really ugly, doncha?
Xelloss: (Sigh) I'll go along, no such sight to be shown, but to rejoice in splendour of mine own.
(Gourry and Xelloss go back-stage, after bowing)
Gourry: (giddily) Brownie party??
NoV: Oh-kay. You deserve it, I guess. ^;^
Gourry: Yay! Brow-nee! Brow-nee! Brow-nee! Brow-nee!
Minna: (walks away chanting)
NoV: Catch us next time!
**
NoV: Oh-kay, hopefully we've worked out all the bugs from the last scene. If you get all your lines right, Gourry, I'll throw you a brownie party.
Gourry: With brownies??
NoV: Um..yes. With brownies.
Gourry: I'll DO it!!!
NoV: Good. But, for the first part, I only need Capulet and Paris. Zel? Val? It's time.
Zel&Val: I HAVE TO WORK WITH **HIM**???
NoV: Well, you're both paranoidal kings of angst, you should work very efficiently together.
Zelgadis: (glare)
Valgaav: (glare)
Zel&Val: Oh-kay.
(Zelgadis and Valgaav walk onto the stage)
Zelgadis: Montague is bound as well as I, in penalty alike; and 'tis not hard, I think-
Xelloss: (giggle)
NoV: Don't.
Xelloss: But I-
NoV: DON'T.
Xelloss: :p ^.^
Zelgadis: (hears whispering back-stage_ A-HEM!
Minna: (look shocked)
Zelgadis: Better.
Phibby: Perfectionist.
Zelgadis: Grrr..for men as old as..we? I am not old.
NoV: (harsh whisper) Zel! You're as bad as Gourry!
Gourry: (a bit loudly) Yeah, and I ate garlic for breakfast!
Minna: ??
NoV: Get on with it, plebian!
Zelgadis: Hey! I happen to KNOW what that means.
Bishounen: Donuts, anyone?
NoV&Zel: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!!
Valgaav: (sniffle) I'll never get my big debut at this rate.
Filia: You barbarians!! You made my poor, sweet Val-Val cry!!
Xelloss: (snicker) Val-Val. I hafta write that down. (pulls out his 'Book of Demeaning Nicknames' and scribbles down 'Val-Val')
NoV: Zelgadis, say the last four words of your opening line, please.
Zelgadis: (grumbled) To keep the peace.
Valgaav: (deep, dramatic voice) Of HONOURABLE reckoning are you BOTH!!! And pity 'TIS you liv'd at odds SO long!! But now, my lord, what say you to my suit?
Zelgadis: (trying to recover from dramatic Val) Um..but saying o'er what I have said before: My child is yet a stranger in the world---
Amelia: (whispers) Mr. Zelgadis!
Zelgadis: What??
Amelia: OUR child. OUR child is yet a stranger in the world.
Zelgadis: I'd be compromising Shakespeare! I refuse to do it for your selfish giddy desires.
Amelia: ;_; But, Mr. Zelgadis!!
Zelgadis: No!
Rezo: I shall---urgh..
Kopii: And I'll...gah..
(both fall unconscious)
NoV: My play..
Bishounen: Frozen yogurt? It's fre-esh!
NoV: My play...
Bishounen: I've got strawburry, vanilla, and chocolate!
Phibby: Cho-co-late.
NoV: My..play..
Zelgadis: As I was saying, she hath not seen the change of fourteen years; let two more summers wither in their pride ere we may think her ripe to be a bride.
Valgaav: (dramatic voice again) Younger than SHE are HAPPY mothers made!!
Zelgadis: And too soon marr'd are those so early made. Come, go with me. Go, sirrah, trudge about through fair Verona; find those persons out whose names are written there, and to them say, my house and welcome on their pleasure stay.
NoV: ...AGG!!
Phibby: AGG!
Gourry: AGG!!
Xelloss: AGG!
Lina: AGG?
Amelia: (happily) AGG!
NoV: Stop it! We NEED a servant! The entire structure of the play depends on this servant bungling things up!! (suddenly turns very sweet) My dear, Bishounen...
Bishounen: No!! I've never been a servant in my entire life! And I don't plan on starting now, either!
NoV: But, Bishy-wishy, I NEED you.
Bishounen: I am a prince! I don't even LOOK like a servant!
NoV: Well, Xelloss doesn't look like Romeo, but we'll get over it!
Xelloss: Hey..
(Zel and Val come back-stage)
Zelgadis: They're going to riot out there if you don't do something quick.
NoV: (fake-sniffle) Bishy, I'll CRY!!
Bishounen: (eyes tear up) ..I'LL CRY TOO!!! WAAAAAAHH!!!
NoV: Oh-kay, oh-kay, stop. Just go on out there and read the cue cards.
Minna: CUE CARDS???
NoV: We'll improvise. Bishy-Bish?
Bishounen: Oh-kay. I'll do it. Not for you, not for me, but for the united ice skaters of the free world!
NoV: All righty. GO.
(Bish walks onto the stage)
Bishounen: (looks around for cue cards, shrugs)
NoV: (whacks Milgasia over the head, yelling at him for something)
Milgasia: (teleports into the balcony with billboard-sized, crudely-written cue cards)
Bishounen: Ah!
(Xelloss and Gourry walk onto the stage)
NoV: And remember, Goo-chan: brownies.
Gourry: (in a daze) Brooooooooowneeeeeeses.
Bishounen: Find them oar whose games are written spear!
NoV: Oy. Why didn't I see this coming?
Phibby: (leans over her shoulder, floating in the air) I dunno. Why didn't you?
NoV: (flicks Phibby)
Phibby: Ow.
Bishounen: It is written that the flu-maker should pedal with his barn, and the sailor with his cast, the scissors with his stencil, and the fainter with his pets; but I am sent to sign those persons, whose fames are here writ-writ??
NoV: Yes. That's right.
Bishounen: Oh-kay. -and can ever find what sames the written person hath her write. I must to the learn-ed. In food time.
Gourry: (chants brownies over and over) Tut! Man, one fire burns out another's burning. Our pain is lesssen'd by another's anguish; turn giddy, and be holp by backward turning, one desperate grief curse with another's languish: take thou some new infection to thy eye-(giggle) Eyeball.
Lina: Gourry's spurts of intelligence never last very long.
Amelia: (shakes her head sadly)
Gourry: And some poison that kills old people.
Xelloss: Your plantain leaf is excellent for that.
Gourry: What, why?
Xelloss: For your broken shin.
Gourry: My shin? My shin isn't broken.
Xelloss: Not mad, but bound more than a madman is; shut up in prison, kept without my food, whipp'd and tormented, and-
Amelia: Oh, poor Mr. Xelloss.
Zelas: Don't sweat it. It's quite enjoyable.
Amelia: (nervous laugh)
Xelloss: Good den, good fellow.
Bishounen: ..(whistling) Oh! Is it my turn? Um..lessee...God gi' good den...what's that mean?
NoV: Don't worry about what it means, just say it!!
Bishounen: Kay. I fray, sir, can you seed?
Xelloss: Ay, mine own fortune is my misery.
Bishounen: Perhaps you have learn-ed it without hook: but, I pray, fan you deed any thing you wee?
Xelloss: (grumble) You obviously can't. Ay, if I know the letters and the language.
Bishounen: Ye pay honestly; best you berry!
Xelloss: Stay, fellow, I can read. "Signor Martino and his wife-
Martina: That's me!! (prepares to run onto the stage)
Phibby: (grabs Martina's cloak)
Martina: (Turns around to face Phibby) Phi-Phibbrizzo?
Phibby: Mary!!
Martina: AAAAAHHH!!!
NoV: Quiet!
Xelloss: A-hem. "-and daughters; County Anselme and his beauteous sisters; the lady widow of Vitruvio; Singior Placentio, and his lovely nieces Mercutio and his brother Valentine; mine uncle Capulet, his wife and daughters, my fair niece Rosaline; Livia; Signior Valentio and his cousin Tybalt; Lucio and the lively Helena." That was a mouthful. A fair assembly: wither should they come?
Bishounen: Up.
Xelloss: Whiter?
Bishounen: To supper; to our spouse.
Xelloss: Whose spouse---err, house?
Bishounen: My master's.
Xelloss: Indeed, I should have asked you that before.
Bishounen: Now I'll tell you without basking. My master is the eight rich Capulet; and if you sot be of the house of Montagues, I stay, come and brush a sup of wine. Rest you fairy! (goes back-stage)
Gourry: They're gonna have food!
Xelloss: When the devour religion of mine eye maintains such falsehood, then turn tears to fires! And these, who often drown'd could never die, transparent heretics, be burnt for liars! One fairer than my love! The all- seeing sun ne'er saw her match since first the world begun
Gourry: You realize that she's really ugly, doncha?
Xelloss: (Sigh) I'll go along, no such sight to be shown, but to rejoice in splendour of mine own.
(Gourry and Xelloss go back-stage, after bowing)
Gourry: (giddily) Brownie party??
NoV: Oh-kay. You deserve it, I guess. ^;^
Gourry: Yay! Brow-nee! Brow-nee! Brow-nee! Brow-nee!
Minna: (walks away chanting)
NoV: Catch us next time!