A/Ns: O_O (*Looks up from braiding her REALLY long hair*) A-ano... hi
there!! I told you it wasn't over! Apologies for the huge delay, but my
computer troubles are over, so hopefully I'll be able to get more work done
on everything. I hope there are still people out there will to read this,
and who will leave me some reviews! I need the encouragement. Usual
warnings yaoi, character death, angst-y Yue, angry Clow, etc., etc.
DISCLAIMER: I own Nickoli, Tristan, and any other character/place that was not mentioned in CCS. Everything else is property of the Four Goddesses of CLAMP.
Chapter 18~ Falling
At home, Kero began to try and get on with life. He wasn't quite as energetic as usual, but Clow could tell he would rebound. Nickoli had been a friend to him, but nothing more, not even a really close friend. The only thing that saddened the lion was the fact that the dark angel had been his brother's close companion. Yue on the other hand, as he always was from Keroberos, did not fare so well. Conversations with the moon angel occurred with much less frequency, as did his company. When he was around, he moved with such silence it seemed as though sound had ceased to exists. Smiles from the silver haired being only came for Clow, and even then were still such a rarity. His senses of humor and adventure faded, along with his capability for mischief and playfulness. Yue became further introverted, Clow ceased to know his own creation, and Keroberos ceased to know his own brother.
The moon guardian of the Clow Cards lost most outward emotion, and Clow could tell then that when the time came, he was going to announce the reverse of their rolls. So far, the sorcerer had planned to have Kero appoint the next potential master of the cards after Clow's demise, and then Yue would guide this person and teach them to control the cards and their own magic. Not only was Yue more versed in magic than his brother, he could also take human form and have the ability to be in the Card Captor's life as a friend also. After all the cards were reclaimed, Keroberos would emerge and have a final battle with the candidate. Clow still wanted Kero to choose the candidate, but the other half of his plan was adjusted. Yue had always been very protective of all those he considered friends or loved ones, but since the incident at Tristan's mansion, he became especially attached to Clow, and seemed unable to comprehend the mage's imminent demise. He would not approve of his brother's candidate no matter who they were now, and would refuse to train them or not instruct them as fully as he once would have. And most importantly of all, he would not come to view his new master as a friend or trusted companion, unless he had some prompting from his brother.
The magician was sitting in his favorite chair, nearly four months after the ordeal in Italy, with his sun lion and moon guardian both in the room. "My friends," He started quietly, "I have a little change in plans to inform you of."
"What's going on, Reed?" Yue glared at Keroberos' teasing and improper title.
"I've decided that when Keroberos chooses the next possible master of my cards, it will be he who stays and trains them, and Yue they face in the Final Battle, the Judgement. So it is now Keroberos The Adviser and Yue, Judgement Maker." Both seemed puzzled at their master's sudden switch. Yue, eyes perpetually guarded now, focused on his book once more, not replying, arguing, or questioning. Understanding had dawned in the sun lion's eyes, and he too went back to his activities, but not without shooting a look at the magician. Clow sighed as he looked upon the two, his silent guardians, a family torn apart.
~And is it my fault? If I had never introduced Nickoli to these two, would things be the way they were before? No. Yue would have lost what happiness he had gained even if it was only for a little while. And I had seen him drifting in this direction of behavior anyway, so it only would have been a matter of time before this silence came about. It was simply more abrupt, more bittersweet this way. I made two perfect guardians, the embodiments of their symbols, the Sun and Moon. The Sun, independent and self-sufficient. The Moon, depending completely upon something, or some one, else. They are both perfect, it is I who have erred. I was too late in letting Yue be his own person. I shouldn't have kept him here, so guarded and removed from humans. I should have let him learn what it was to make and lose friends, and lovers. To choose his own company, and live a more normal existence. What have I done? Nothing, but that's the point. It is far too late now. And that is what I'm left with; our family torn apart.~
+ + +
Contrary to what Clow thought, as the years moved on things got better. Yue's memories never really faded, but he was more able to accept them with the added maturity gained in age. Slowly, he began arguing with Kero again, spending more time with everyone, though outwardly he remained slightly aloof. Almost a century had passed, and Yue was nearly at normal standards. He was still quieter than he was as a young man, still more introverted, but at least he'd speak more often and engage in interaction with Clow and Kero again. The mage was thrilled; for so long, Yue avoided any relationship beyond necessity and reluctant friendship with his master. But recently, Clow had felt more and more of their old connection arise.
One late evening, as Keroberos slept heavily in the downstairs living room, Clow sat in his study, drawing another card. At the time of his battle with Tristan, he'd had all major cards and the more practical ones, but in his older age he was making new ones, a little less sensible, and far more sentimental. So concentrated was he that he had not heard his moon guardian step to the doorway.
"Which card are you working on now?" The quiet question was not enough to startle the calm mage.
"Give me a few more minutes and I'll show you." After a few more moments of careful work, Clow smiled and held the card aloft, releasing his staff and tapping it gently. As he did so, the card burst into hundreds of tiny lights that floated endlessly to the ground like snow. The soft falling sphere of light entranced Yue immediately.
"They're beautiful..." the silver haired man mumbled.
Clow stood from his chair, stepping forward to Yue slowly. "And your presence increases the beauty of the scene one-hundred fold..."
Yue turned to face his master, a bit startled. Their close proximity prevented him from ignoring the comment and the renewed tension, but that didn't mean he knew what to say. "Clow..."
The dark haired mage stepped towards him again. "Yue?"
"What... what are you doing?"
"This," Clow said calmly, and then leaned over, closing the remaining space between them.
While Clow's eyes confidently slid shut, Yue's icy violet ones shot open. He couldn't move for a moment, being totally paralyzed by the sensation of his master's lips against his own. Thoughts raced through his mind, memories his brain dredged up by the kiss, scenes of his own first kiss and the last person who kissed him. It was all too much for a moment, overwhelming him and making him want to scream. He came so close to rejecting the affection Clow was offering, to pushing him away and fleeing the room. But a reasonable part of his mind stopped him. //This is ridiculous. He's dead, and it's been over for nearly a century! I can't.... I can't live alone for one more day, it's killing me inside. I can't take this any longer... I need this... I need Clow... and even more... I want him... You cannot betray someone who doesn't exist anymore.//
When Yue relaxed and leaned into the embrace, parting his lips and drawing Clow closer, the mage felt a thrill go through him. Finally. He had what he'd wanted, all this time. Yue.
+ + +
A few months after the evening in the study, Clow woke up with his vision of perfection nestled against his shoulder. He smiled fondly, remembering when Yue was very young and new to the world, how he'd have nightmares and sneak into Clow's room to sleep in his bed the rest of the night. He'd always awoken on these occassions to find the angel snuggled closely to him, warm and smiling in his slumber. Clow looked down, and his own smile withered away as he noticed that Yue didn't look happy at all. Not like the morning when Clow had accidently come in on two sleeping angels...
At the mere thought of the other guardian, Clow felt himself become agitated. His powers had allowed him to know that the loose ends left behind would eventually be tied up, but also that things were far from over. He wasn't sure if Nickoli himself was still in existence, but he had no doubt about Tristan not being through. Thoughts of the dark mage were actually less offensive to him than ones of Nickoli...
Clow thought jealously how all Yue's superb skills in bed were learned from someone else. It intimidated him that the initial tutor had set standards so high a human probably could not match them. Clow had been amazed at how much... endurence Yue had shown, and from the fact that the angel went from being submissive in everyday activities to pleasingly agressive privately. Clow knew some of these mannerisms were picked up from someone else, and it angered him to a point that even he found uncalled for.
That irrational anger drove him from bed, carefully so as not to wake Yue. He paced into his common room, pulling a robe around himself on the way. Though Clow looked to be maybe in his forties, he was truly centuries old, and was slowly beginning to feel it. He knew he couldn't fight the inevitable much longer, but it felt as though Yue had just given him a reason not to give up quite yet. Earlier that very year, he'd felt so distanced from the guardian, but now.... Now...
He felt even farther away.
The realization was a very unwelcome one. How could this be? He'd spent so much time with Yue lately, he should feel some closeness. But he truly did not. It was disconcerting to an extreme degree; he had realized in that shocking moment that he knew almost nothing about Yue still. All their time together was usually in silence or a physical relationship. They never just sat and conversed, Yue never told him his thoughts an dreams like he did in his youth. He didn't even know the guardian's favorite book, if he still painted, if he still loved music as he once did. Everything he thought he knew about Yue could possibly be wrong, because the angel had changed very much over the long years.
Nickoli had known Yue. They'd spent time sitting together, telling each other their fears, sharing thoughts with barely a word. It hit Clow like a blow when he pondered how truly close the two had been. The last time he had seen Yue and Nickoli together, they had stopped in silence for a moment, staring at one another and sharing words without speaking. Clow had never had that with Yue. When Yue had been with the other guardian, the smile had barely ever left his face. Now he rarely smiled at all.
Anger poured into his veins again, heated his blood and threw brash ideas into his mind. Part of him wanted to fly into a tantrum and break everything within the room; another part wanted to accost Yue and demanded he open up, command him to allow his master to know what it was he thought. But with these urges again came the accusation that he was just like, no, worse than Tristan. He sat down resignedly.
~I've done it again, haven't I? Just what Tristan accused me of... I waited until the time when Yue was vulnerable, tired of being alone, and I made a move quickly. It was totally out of the blue, and even I at the time didn't know why. I realize now that it was because, subconsciously, I knew Yue would yeild to me at that time, when he felt his lack of a companion so sharply. Manipulating his reactions, still, just to get my own desires...~
But Clow also knew that had Yue not wanted this, he wouldn't have allowed it. It was also apparent that the moon guardian needed the companionship, he truly needed to be able to rely on someone, and that's what Clow would give him, for as long as he could. He would never abandon Yue. For the rest of his life, which wouldn't be as long as any of them thought, he would be by his angel's side, trying to ease the pain. He loved Yue, plain and simple, and would stay with him and do anything for him, even though he knew Yue would give him up completely for Nickoli in an instant.
+ + +
Clow sat in his favorite chair, the snow falling gently outside his window. He felt like one of those snowflakes; descending from the clouds of youth to a dark, strange new realm. Fragile, fleeting, floating gently into an inescapable oblivion, an idea crystalized for a moment and lost in the next. Human life, even at his length, seemed like a dream. And he knew he was about to wake up, and the dream was going to end. That's why they were in here with him. He wouldn't tell them the real reason why he was dying; it would complicate things too far. They'd want to know who put the curse on him.
And yes, he knew it was a curse. He'd known since the morning a few months ago that he'd woken up and his hand had been totally numb, unable to feel Yue's soft hair on the pillow next to him. It had been a strange effect, but he knew what caused it. After that things went rapidly downhill, he weakened greatly, and age began to catch up a bit. Yue and Keroberos had catered to his every need, leaving him wanting nothing but their continued friendships. To look up and see them now, standing before him, bewildered, was actually making him smile. He loved seeing them together, his two creations, brothers at heart. Keroberos was a bit rounder than he used to be, but Yue was ever the same. Still breathtaking.
The spell had sapped his strength slowly, but it was turning out to be a very gentle death. Funny, he'd expected his assailant to still be bitter, but that obviously wasn't the case. He was probably just as happy as Clow himself had been these past few years, and only doing this to ensure that the future progress. Maybe he didn't know what would happen, but Clow did. The good mage knew his guardians and successor would make it through the coming trials, but he still felt like weeping for Yue's pain sometimes. It wouldn't do to start now, so he cut off the train of thought.
They were arguing with him, asking him why, telling him no. The conversation, even his own answers, were so far away. Everything was, except the snow falling outside the window. It was so soft, so beautiful... he was glad he'd given Yue that name for his flase form... it was perfect. Just like Yue himself. But they were still assailing him, fighting for more time when the hourglass had been shattered. Why? Yue's eyes asked that question more than any other. Clow didn't answer, but he knew the response he could make. Because he was too weak. His attacker had only grown stronger throughout the ages, while Clow had been channeling more and more of his energies into preserving the cards and his beloved guardians for when he was gone. He had known that he would die, but he just hadn't realized it would be so soon.
Now Yue stubbornly refused any other master. Was this love of a partner? No, it was merely the devotion of a creation. Had Clow been Nickoli, Yue would have been on the ground in tears, as he was all those years ago. Thinking of Nickoli made guilt assail him. He was rather cruel to the being last they met, and he realized it was his own self- righteousness that caused him to act that way. He wished he could apologize to him now, but of course it was too late. There was far too much left, too much that still needed to happen. Many more mistakes to be made before ammends could start. He only hoped that the next Master- er, Mistress- of his cards, would be strong enough to remain upstanding throughout it all. He hoped she would not allow Yue to be alone as he had been. This would test him the hardest.
But look at the snow, he wanted to say. He wanted Yue to look at the snow, because snow always made the angel happy, no matter what. But Yue's eyes would not leave him, as if he was trying to catch the moment of death so it would be etched on his eternal memory. But Yue, he wanted to say, don't worry. Just look at the snow! Watch it, it's so beautiful... Watch it as it all falls...
Clow Reed closed his eyes with a faint smile, and was no more.
DISCLAIMER: I own Nickoli, Tristan, and any other character/place that was not mentioned in CCS. Everything else is property of the Four Goddesses of CLAMP.
Chapter 18~ Falling
At home, Kero began to try and get on with life. He wasn't quite as energetic as usual, but Clow could tell he would rebound. Nickoli had been a friend to him, but nothing more, not even a really close friend. The only thing that saddened the lion was the fact that the dark angel had been his brother's close companion. Yue on the other hand, as he always was from Keroberos, did not fare so well. Conversations with the moon angel occurred with much less frequency, as did his company. When he was around, he moved with such silence it seemed as though sound had ceased to exists. Smiles from the silver haired being only came for Clow, and even then were still such a rarity. His senses of humor and adventure faded, along with his capability for mischief and playfulness. Yue became further introverted, Clow ceased to know his own creation, and Keroberos ceased to know his own brother.
The moon guardian of the Clow Cards lost most outward emotion, and Clow could tell then that when the time came, he was going to announce the reverse of their rolls. So far, the sorcerer had planned to have Kero appoint the next potential master of the cards after Clow's demise, and then Yue would guide this person and teach them to control the cards and their own magic. Not only was Yue more versed in magic than his brother, he could also take human form and have the ability to be in the Card Captor's life as a friend also. After all the cards were reclaimed, Keroberos would emerge and have a final battle with the candidate. Clow still wanted Kero to choose the candidate, but the other half of his plan was adjusted. Yue had always been very protective of all those he considered friends or loved ones, but since the incident at Tristan's mansion, he became especially attached to Clow, and seemed unable to comprehend the mage's imminent demise. He would not approve of his brother's candidate no matter who they were now, and would refuse to train them or not instruct them as fully as he once would have. And most importantly of all, he would not come to view his new master as a friend or trusted companion, unless he had some prompting from his brother.
The magician was sitting in his favorite chair, nearly four months after the ordeal in Italy, with his sun lion and moon guardian both in the room. "My friends," He started quietly, "I have a little change in plans to inform you of."
"What's going on, Reed?" Yue glared at Keroberos' teasing and improper title.
"I've decided that when Keroberos chooses the next possible master of my cards, it will be he who stays and trains them, and Yue they face in the Final Battle, the Judgement. So it is now Keroberos The Adviser and Yue, Judgement Maker." Both seemed puzzled at their master's sudden switch. Yue, eyes perpetually guarded now, focused on his book once more, not replying, arguing, or questioning. Understanding had dawned in the sun lion's eyes, and he too went back to his activities, but not without shooting a look at the magician. Clow sighed as he looked upon the two, his silent guardians, a family torn apart.
~And is it my fault? If I had never introduced Nickoli to these two, would things be the way they were before? No. Yue would have lost what happiness he had gained even if it was only for a little while. And I had seen him drifting in this direction of behavior anyway, so it only would have been a matter of time before this silence came about. It was simply more abrupt, more bittersweet this way. I made two perfect guardians, the embodiments of their symbols, the Sun and Moon. The Sun, independent and self-sufficient. The Moon, depending completely upon something, or some one, else. They are both perfect, it is I who have erred. I was too late in letting Yue be his own person. I shouldn't have kept him here, so guarded and removed from humans. I should have let him learn what it was to make and lose friends, and lovers. To choose his own company, and live a more normal existence. What have I done? Nothing, but that's the point. It is far too late now. And that is what I'm left with; our family torn apart.~
+ + +
Contrary to what Clow thought, as the years moved on things got better. Yue's memories never really faded, but he was more able to accept them with the added maturity gained in age. Slowly, he began arguing with Kero again, spending more time with everyone, though outwardly he remained slightly aloof. Almost a century had passed, and Yue was nearly at normal standards. He was still quieter than he was as a young man, still more introverted, but at least he'd speak more often and engage in interaction with Clow and Kero again. The mage was thrilled; for so long, Yue avoided any relationship beyond necessity and reluctant friendship with his master. But recently, Clow had felt more and more of their old connection arise.
One late evening, as Keroberos slept heavily in the downstairs living room, Clow sat in his study, drawing another card. At the time of his battle with Tristan, he'd had all major cards and the more practical ones, but in his older age he was making new ones, a little less sensible, and far more sentimental. So concentrated was he that he had not heard his moon guardian step to the doorway.
"Which card are you working on now?" The quiet question was not enough to startle the calm mage.
"Give me a few more minutes and I'll show you." After a few more moments of careful work, Clow smiled and held the card aloft, releasing his staff and tapping it gently. As he did so, the card burst into hundreds of tiny lights that floated endlessly to the ground like snow. The soft falling sphere of light entranced Yue immediately.
"They're beautiful..." the silver haired man mumbled.
Clow stood from his chair, stepping forward to Yue slowly. "And your presence increases the beauty of the scene one-hundred fold..."
Yue turned to face his master, a bit startled. Their close proximity prevented him from ignoring the comment and the renewed tension, but that didn't mean he knew what to say. "Clow..."
The dark haired mage stepped towards him again. "Yue?"
"What... what are you doing?"
"This," Clow said calmly, and then leaned over, closing the remaining space between them.
While Clow's eyes confidently slid shut, Yue's icy violet ones shot open. He couldn't move for a moment, being totally paralyzed by the sensation of his master's lips against his own. Thoughts raced through his mind, memories his brain dredged up by the kiss, scenes of his own first kiss and the last person who kissed him. It was all too much for a moment, overwhelming him and making him want to scream. He came so close to rejecting the affection Clow was offering, to pushing him away and fleeing the room. But a reasonable part of his mind stopped him. //This is ridiculous. He's dead, and it's been over for nearly a century! I can't.... I can't live alone for one more day, it's killing me inside. I can't take this any longer... I need this... I need Clow... and even more... I want him... You cannot betray someone who doesn't exist anymore.//
When Yue relaxed and leaned into the embrace, parting his lips and drawing Clow closer, the mage felt a thrill go through him. Finally. He had what he'd wanted, all this time. Yue.
+ + +
A few months after the evening in the study, Clow woke up with his vision of perfection nestled against his shoulder. He smiled fondly, remembering when Yue was very young and new to the world, how he'd have nightmares and sneak into Clow's room to sleep in his bed the rest of the night. He'd always awoken on these occassions to find the angel snuggled closely to him, warm and smiling in his slumber. Clow looked down, and his own smile withered away as he noticed that Yue didn't look happy at all. Not like the morning when Clow had accidently come in on two sleeping angels...
At the mere thought of the other guardian, Clow felt himself become agitated. His powers had allowed him to know that the loose ends left behind would eventually be tied up, but also that things were far from over. He wasn't sure if Nickoli himself was still in existence, but he had no doubt about Tristan not being through. Thoughts of the dark mage were actually less offensive to him than ones of Nickoli...
Clow thought jealously how all Yue's superb skills in bed were learned from someone else. It intimidated him that the initial tutor had set standards so high a human probably could not match them. Clow had been amazed at how much... endurence Yue had shown, and from the fact that the angel went from being submissive in everyday activities to pleasingly agressive privately. Clow knew some of these mannerisms were picked up from someone else, and it angered him to a point that even he found uncalled for.
That irrational anger drove him from bed, carefully so as not to wake Yue. He paced into his common room, pulling a robe around himself on the way. Though Clow looked to be maybe in his forties, he was truly centuries old, and was slowly beginning to feel it. He knew he couldn't fight the inevitable much longer, but it felt as though Yue had just given him a reason not to give up quite yet. Earlier that very year, he'd felt so distanced from the guardian, but now.... Now...
He felt even farther away.
The realization was a very unwelcome one. How could this be? He'd spent so much time with Yue lately, he should feel some closeness. But he truly did not. It was disconcerting to an extreme degree; he had realized in that shocking moment that he knew almost nothing about Yue still. All their time together was usually in silence or a physical relationship. They never just sat and conversed, Yue never told him his thoughts an dreams like he did in his youth. He didn't even know the guardian's favorite book, if he still painted, if he still loved music as he once did. Everything he thought he knew about Yue could possibly be wrong, because the angel had changed very much over the long years.
Nickoli had known Yue. They'd spent time sitting together, telling each other their fears, sharing thoughts with barely a word. It hit Clow like a blow when he pondered how truly close the two had been. The last time he had seen Yue and Nickoli together, they had stopped in silence for a moment, staring at one another and sharing words without speaking. Clow had never had that with Yue. When Yue had been with the other guardian, the smile had barely ever left his face. Now he rarely smiled at all.
Anger poured into his veins again, heated his blood and threw brash ideas into his mind. Part of him wanted to fly into a tantrum and break everything within the room; another part wanted to accost Yue and demanded he open up, command him to allow his master to know what it was he thought. But with these urges again came the accusation that he was just like, no, worse than Tristan. He sat down resignedly.
~I've done it again, haven't I? Just what Tristan accused me of... I waited until the time when Yue was vulnerable, tired of being alone, and I made a move quickly. It was totally out of the blue, and even I at the time didn't know why. I realize now that it was because, subconsciously, I knew Yue would yeild to me at that time, when he felt his lack of a companion so sharply. Manipulating his reactions, still, just to get my own desires...~
But Clow also knew that had Yue not wanted this, he wouldn't have allowed it. It was also apparent that the moon guardian needed the companionship, he truly needed to be able to rely on someone, and that's what Clow would give him, for as long as he could. He would never abandon Yue. For the rest of his life, which wouldn't be as long as any of them thought, he would be by his angel's side, trying to ease the pain. He loved Yue, plain and simple, and would stay with him and do anything for him, even though he knew Yue would give him up completely for Nickoli in an instant.
+ + +
Clow sat in his favorite chair, the snow falling gently outside his window. He felt like one of those snowflakes; descending from the clouds of youth to a dark, strange new realm. Fragile, fleeting, floating gently into an inescapable oblivion, an idea crystalized for a moment and lost in the next. Human life, even at his length, seemed like a dream. And he knew he was about to wake up, and the dream was going to end. That's why they were in here with him. He wouldn't tell them the real reason why he was dying; it would complicate things too far. They'd want to know who put the curse on him.
And yes, he knew it was a curse. He'd known since the morning a few months ago that he'd woken up and his hand had been totally numb, unable to feel Yue's soft hair on the pillow next to him. It had been a strange effect, but he knew what caused it. After that things went rapidly downhill, he weakened greatly, and age began to catch up a bit. Yue and Keroberos had catered to his every need, leaving him wanting nothing but their continued friendships. To look up and see them now, standing before him, bewildered, was actually making him smile. He loved seeing them together, his two creations, brothers at heart. Keroberos was a bit rounder than he used to be, but Yue was ever the same. Still breathtaking.
The spell had sapped his strength slowly, but it was turning out to be a very gentle death. Funny, he'd expected his assailant to still be bitter, but that obviously wasn't the case. He was probably just as happy as Clow himself had been these past few years, and only doing this to ensure that the future progress. Maybe he didn't know what would happen, but Clow did. The good mage knew his guardians and successor would make it through the coming trials, but he still felt like weeping for Yue's pain sometimes. It wouldn't do to start now, so he cut off the train of thought.
They were arguing with him, asking him why, telling him no. The conversation, even his own answers, were so far away. Everything was, except the snow falling outside the window. It was so soft, so beautiful... he was glad he'd given Yue that name for his flase form... it was perfect. Just like Yue himself. But they were still assailing him, fighting for more time when the hourglass had been shattered. Why? Yue's eyes asked that question more than any other. Clow didn't answer, but he knew the response he could make. Because he was too weak. His attacker had only grown stronger throughout the ages, while Clow had been channeling more and more of his energies into preserving the cards and his beloved guardians for when he was gone. He had known that he would die, but he just hadn't realized it would be so soon.
Now Yue stubbornly refused any other master. Was this love of a partner? No, it was merely the devotion of a creation. Had Clow been Nickoli, Yue would have been on the ground in tears, as he was all those years ago. Thinking of Nickoli made guilt assail him. He was rather cruel to the being last they met, and he realized it was his own self- righteousness that caused him to act that way. He wished he could apologize to him now, but of course it was too late. There was far too much left, too much that still needed to happen. Many more mistakes to be made before ammends could start. He only hoped that the next Master- er, Mistress- of his cards, would be strong enough to remain upstanding throughout it all. He hoped she would not allow Yue to be alone as he had been. This would test him the hardest.
But look at the snow, he wanted to say. He wanted Yue to look at the snow, because snow always made the angel happy, no matter what. But Yue's eyes would not leave him, as if he was trying to catch the moment of death so it would be etched on his eternal memory. But Yue, he wanted to say, don't worry. Just look at the snow! Watch it, it's so beautiful... Watch it as it all falls...
Clow Reed closed his eyes with a faint smile, and was no more.