Romeo and Juliet
**
NoV: Hello, fans! Sorry it took me so long to get his up, I've been having some horrible tragedies lately...
Xelloss: Yes, an animal died and a boy pushed her.
NoV: He pushed me on purpose!! He did it because I'm ugly!!
Amelia: Miss Nova-chan, you aren't ugly. He pushed you because the enemies of Justice have tricked him into wrongdoing!! It's so sad!! Justice will be avenged!!
NoV: I should've fallen. Then he would've got detention. Or something.
Zelgadis: Well, that certainly would've solved all of the world's problems, wouldn't it?
NoV: Yes.
Bishounen: Omae O Korosu pushes me around. I never complain.
Xelloss: Well, that-
Bishounen: Is a secret!! I remembered.
Xelloss: -.-0 That's not what I was going to say. I was going to say that "that is because you're a wimp," but now it's all ruined. I don't really FEEL like saying it now.
NoV: Anyway, this whole scene is only for Filia and Lina. So, everyone else can just relax-
Bishounen: (plops into a La-Z-Boy) Ah..this is the life. ^.^
NoV: I need you for purposes.
Bishounen: Aw. I really wanted to recline. Oh well! (hops up)
Lina: Come on, Filia. Let's get this annoying thing over with.
Filia: At least I won't have to share the stage with that stupid namagomi.
Xelloss: Uh-oh. I think she's talking about you, Valgaav.
Filia: (outraged) VAL-VAL IT ISN'T TRUE!!!
Val: Calm down and breathe. Sloooooooowly.
Filia: (clings to Val) I didn't I didn't I didn't!!!! (sniffles) Val-Val, I'll be on-stage. Don't hesitate to page, beep, or call me.
Val: Oh-kay...(grumbles) Filia-momma.
Filia: (blows him a kiss)
(Filia and Lina go on-stage)
Lina: The clock struck nine hen I did send the nurse; in half an hour she promis'd to return. But old folks, many feign as they were dead; unwieldy, slow, heavy and pale as lead.
(back-stage)
NoV: Oh, no! I need Peter again!
Xelloss: What for? 'Peter' has no lines.
NoV: But, it says, 'Enter Nurse and Peter.'
Zelgadis: Um...so?
NoV: Shakespeare would roll over in his grave if I didn't send a Peter out there with the nurse!!!
Ernest: I seriously doubt that.
Gaav: I agree.
Xelloss: You WOULD.
Gaav: (chokes Xelloss) What's THAT supposed to mean??
Xelloss: Gack! I was simply implying that of course you would take the same side as your other head.
Gaav: (Drops him) Oh. Of course.
(on-stage)
Filia: Peter, stay at the gate.
NoV: See, we DID need Peter.
Lina: Now, good sweet nurse; O Lord! Why look'st thou sad? Though news be sad, yet tell them merrily; if good thou sham'st the music of sweet news by playing me with so sour a face.
Filia: I am aweary, give me leave awhile: Fie, how my bones ache!
(back-stage)
Xelloss: She's such an old bat.
(on-stage)
Filia: I heard that, NAMAGOMI.
(back-stage)
Xelloss: Uh-oh. She's mad at you again, 'Val-Val.'
Filia: (zips back-stage) I'll DESTROY YOU for planting such ideas into my poor lil Val-Val's head!!!! (swings at Xelloss with her mace)
Xelloss: (teleports away) Take it easy, Fi-chan! Your blood pressure, your blood pressure!!
(Zelgadis and Val drag Filia back on stage, kicking and screaming)
Filia: (brushes off her Shakespearean dress) Baka.
Lina: I would thou hadst my bones, and I thy news. Nay, come, I pray thee, speak; good, good nurse, speak.
Filia: Jesu! What haste? Can you not stay awhile? Do you not see that I am out of breath?
Lina: How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath to say to me that thou art out of breath.
Filia: (grumbles) Smart-aleck. Well, you have made a simple choice; you know not how to choose a man: Romeo! No, not he; though his face be uglier than any man's, yet his idiocy excels all men's-
Lina: Not in the script.
Filia: Do you expect me to say GOOD things about that stupid namagomi? ..named Xelloss!
Lina: No, no: but all this did I know before. What says he of our marriage? What of that?
Filia: Lord! How my head aches; what a head have I!
(back-stage)
Xelloss: You know, were this an actual event that were happening, this is exactly how Filia would act.
Martina: What does 'audacity' mean?
Phibby: Well, it means around the same as rudeness or something surprising. Say if a teacher told a child to sit down and he replied, "I am NOT sitting down!" That would be an audacious statement.
Martina: Gee. Thanks for the lesson.
Phibby: You're very welcome. ^.^
(on-stage)
Filia: It beats as it would fall in twenty pieces! My back o' t'other side; O! my back, my back! Beshrew your heart for sending me down.
Lina: Oh, brother. I' faith, I am sorry that thou art not well. Sweet, sweet, sweet nurse, tell me, what says my love?
Filia: Your loves says, like a stupid baka, and a mean, and an evil, and an ugly, and, I warrant, a non-virtuous,--where is your mother?
(back-stage)
Xelloss: I'm beginning to suspect that Fi-chan doesn't particularly like me.
NoV: Well, what was your first clue?
Xelloss: The fact that she tried to poison my cake.
NoV: Did she really?
Xelloss: She did, indeed.
NoV: ..
Xelloss: ...
NoV: (unbelievingly) Get OUT!
Xelloss: ^_^
(on-stage)
Lina: Where is my mother! Why, she is within; where should be? How oddly thou repliest: "Your love says, like honest gentleman, Where is your mother?"
Filia: O! God's lady dear, are you so hot?
Xelloss: YES!! She's SOOOO hot!!
Lina: (makes a symbol with one of her fingers)
Filia: (glares) Marry, come up, I trow; is this the poultice for my aching bones? Henceforward do your messages yourself.
Lina: Here's such a coil! Come, what says Romeo?
Filia: Have you got leave to go to shrift to-day?
(back-stage)
Val: Have you ever read the poem, "The Feather Pillow"?
Zelgadis: I try very hard to keep such images out of my head.
Ernest: Ooh! Buffet! I want one of those, Gaav-chan.
Gaav: (puts a mint on a plate) Oh-kay, anything else?
Gourry: BUFFET!!! (jumps on the table and devours it all; belches)
Ernest: Erm..no.
(on-stage)
Lina: I have.
Filia: Then hie you hence to Friar Laurence's cell, there stays a husband to make you a wife: now comes the wanton blood up in your cheeks, they'll be in scarlet straight at any news. Go, I'll to dinner; hie you to the cell.
Lina: Hie to high fortune! Honest nurse, farewell.
(both exit the stage)
Zelas: Raise your hand if you want to touch it.
Phibby: Said that on your honeymoon, did you?
Zelas: I was referring to my fur boot lining.
Phibby: Oh, sorry. I really should be paying attention.
Lina: Does anybody know what 'hie' means?
Minna: No.
NoV: (bursts) I get to have a party Tuesday!!
Xelloss: (looks at her funny) Who has parties on Tuesdays? And what's more, who comes to them?
NoV: No, no, you silly. A party at school. We're having the *HSGE this week, and I don't have to take it Tuesday! YAY!!! So, me and Kimi-san are having a party first block!! YAI!
Martina: The word is 'wai.'
NoV: We've been through this. Kimi-san made up the word 'yai' so she could spread it and get people to think it's a real word. Help her out, here.
Martina: Whatever.
NoV: Well, I'll definitely have the next chapter sooner than this one was, so look for it!
**
NoV: Hello, fans! Sorry it took me so long to get his up, I've been having some horrible tragedies lately...
Xelloss: Yes, an animal died and a boy pushed her.
NoV: He pushed me on purpose!! He did it because I'm ugly!!
Amelia: Miss Nova-chan, you aren't ugly. He pushed you because the enemies of Justice have tricked him into wrongdoing!! It's so sad!! Justice will be avenged!!
NoV: I should've fallen. Then he would've got detention. Or something.
Zelgadis: Well, that certainly would've solved all of the world's problems, wouldn't it?
NoV: Yes.
Bishounen: Omae O Korosu pushes me around. I never complain.
Xelloss: Well, that-
Bishounen: Is a secret!! I remembered.
Xelloss: -.-0 That's not what I was going to say. I was going to say that "that is because you're a wimp," but now it's all ruined. I don't really FEEL like saying it now.
NoV: Anyway, this whole scene is only for Filia and Lina. So, everyone else can just relax-
Bishounen: (plops into a La-Z-Boy) Ah..this is the life. ^.^
NoV: I need you for purposes.
Bishounen: Aw. I really wanted to recline. Oh well! (hops up)
Lina: Come on, Filia. Let's get this annoying thing over with.
Filia: At least I won't have to share the stage with that stupid namagomi.
Xelloss: Uh-oh. I think she's talking about you, Valgaav.
Filia: (outraged) VAL-VAL IT ISN'T TRUE!!!
Val: Calm down and breathe. Sloooooooowly.
Filia: (clings to Val) I didn't I didn't I didn't!!!! (sniffles) Val-Val, I'll be on-stage. Don't hesitate to page, beep, or call me.
Val: Oh-kay...(grumbles) Filia-momma.
Filia: (blows him a kiss)
(Filia and Lina go on-stage)
Lina: The clock struck nine hen I did send the nurse; in half an hour she promis'd to return. But old folks, many feign as they were dead; unwieldy, slow, heavy and pale as lead.
(back-stage)
NoV: Oh, no! I need Peter again!
Xelloss: What for? 'Peter' has no lines.
NoV: But, it says, 'Enter Nurse and Peter.'
Zelgadis: Um...so?
NoV: Shakespeare would roll over in his grave if I didn't send a Peter out there with the nurse!!!
Ernest: I seriously doubt that.
Gaav: I agree.
Xelloss: You WOULD.
Gaav: (chokes Xelloss) What's THAT supposed to mean??
Xelloss: Gack! I was simply implying that of course you would take the same side as your other head.
Gaav: (Drops him) Oh. Of course.
(on-stage)
Filia: Peter, stay at the gate.
NoV: See, we DID need Peter.
Lina: Now, good sweet nurse; O Lord! Why look'st thou sad? Though news be sad, yet tell them merrily; if good thou sham'st the music of sweet news by playing me with so sour a face.
Filia: I am aweary, give me leave awhile: Fie, how my bones ache!
(back-stage)
Xelloss: She's such an old bat.
(on-stage)
Filia: I heard that, NAMAGOMI.
(back-stage)
Xelloss: Uh-oh. She's mad at you again, 'Val-Val.'
Filia: (zips back-stage) I'll DESTROY YOU for planting such ideas into my poor lil Val-Val's head!!!! (swings at Xelloss with her mace)
Xelloss: (teleports away) Take it easy, Fi-chan! Your blood pressure, your blood pressure!!
(Zelgadis and Val drag Filia back on stage, kicking and screaming)
Filia: (brushes off her Shakespearean dress) Baka.
Lina: I would thou hadst my bones, and I thy news. Nay, come, I pray thee, speak; good, good nurse, speak.
Filia: Jesu! What haste? Can you not stay awhile? Do you not see that I am out of breath?
Lina: How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath to say to me that thou art out of breath.
Filia: (grumbles) Smart-aleck. Well, you have made a simple choice; you know not how to choose a man: Romeo! No, not he; though his face be uglier than any man's, yet his idiocy excels all men's-
Lina: Not in the script.
Filia: Do you expect me to say GOOD things about that stupid namagomi? ..named Xelloss!
Lina: No, no: but all this did I know before. What says he of our marriage? What of that?
Filia: Lord! How my head aches; what a head have I!
(back-stage)
Xelloss: You know, were this an actual event that were happening, this is exactly how Filia would act.
Martina: What does 'audacity' mean?
Phibby: Well, it means around the same as rudeness or something surprising. Say if a teacher told a child to sit down and he replied, "I am NOT sitting down!" That would be an audacious statement.
Martina: Gee. Thanks for the lesson.
Phibby: You're very welcome. ^.^
(on-stage)
Filia: It beats as it would fall in twenty pieces! My back o' t'other side; O! my back, my back! Beshrew your heart for sending me down.
Lina: Oh, brother. I' faith, I am sorry that thou art not well. Sweet, sweet, sweet nurse, tell me, what says my love?
Filia: Your loves says, like a stupid baka, and a mean, and an evil, and an ugly, and, I warrant, a non-virtuous,--where is your mother?
(back-stage)
Xelloss: I'm beginning to suspect that Fi-chan doesn't particularly like me.
NoV: Well, what was your first clue?
Xelloss: The fact that she tried to poison my cake.
NoV: Did she really?
Xelloss: She did, indeed.
NoV: ..
Xelloss: ...
NoV: (unbelievingly) Get OUT!
Xelloss: ^_^
(on-stage)
Lina: Where is my mother! Why, she is within; where should be? How oddly thou repliest: "Your love says, like honest gentleman, Where is your mother?"
Filia: O! God's lady dear, are you so hot?
Xelloss: YES!! She's SOOOO hot!!
Lina: (makes a symbol with one of her fingers)
Filia: (glares) Marry, come up, I trow; is this the poultice for my aching bones? Henceforward do your messages yourself.
Lina: Here's such a coil! Come, what says Romeo?
Filia: Have you got leave to go to shrift to-day?
(back-stage)
Val: Have you ever read the poem, "The Feather Pillow"?
Zelgadis: I try very hard to keep such images out of my head.
Ernest: Ooh! Buffet! I want one of those, Gaav-chan.
Gaav: (puts a mint on a plate) Oh-kay, anything else?
Gourry: BUFFET!!! (jumps on the table and devours it all; belches)
Ernest: Erm..no.
(on-stage)
Lina: I have.
Filia: Then hie you hence to Friar Laurence's cell, there stays a husband to make you a wife: now comes the wanton blood up in your cheeks, they'll be in scarlet straight at any news. Go, I'll to dinner; hie you to the cell.
Lina: Hie to high fortune! Honest nurse, farewell.
(both exit the stage)
Zelas: Raise your hand if you want to touch it.
Phibby: Said that on your honeymoon, did you?
Zelas: I was referring to my fur boot lining.
Phibby: Oh, sorry. I really should be paying attention.
Lina: Does anybody know what 'hie' means?
Minna: No.
NoV: (bursts) I get to have a party Tuesday!!
Xelloss: (looks at her funny) Who has parties on Tuesdays? And what's more, who comes to them?
NoV: No, no, you silly. A party at school. We're having the *HSGE this week, and I don't have to take it Tuesday! YAY!!! So, me and Kimi-san are having a party first block!! YAI!
Martina: The word is 'wai.'
NoV: We've been through this. Kimi-san made up the word 'yai' so she could spread it and get people to think it's a real word. Help her out, here.
Martina: Whatever.
NoV: Well, I'll definitely have the next chapter sooner than this one was, so look for it!