Romeo and Juliet
**
(smoke fills the back of the stage/Cutie Corner)
NoV: (cries) Hello, everyone. I tried to bake cookies and caught the oven on fire. (sniffles)
Xelloss: (Coughs) That's because you tried to bake them in a pan that had rivets in it.
Gourry: (munching) Hey! These cookies are great! (stuffs about thirty burnt blobs into his mouth)
Lina: Oy. (whacks herself in the head)
NoV: (sniffles) Let's get started. Xelloss, Martina? It's time for the wedding scene.
Xelloss: (Sweatdrops) Is this part...essential to the rest of the play?
NoV: Yes.
Xelloss: Do we have to do it?
NoV: YES.
Xelloss: Really?
NoV: YES!!!
Xelloss: (sigh) Oh-kay. But, I won't like it.
(Xelloss and Martina head toward the stage)
Martina: (looks back) I changed my wardrobe. (leaves)
NoV: (does a double take) MARTINA!!!! YOU CAN'T BE FRIAR LAURENCE IN A BIKINI!!!!
Martina: (pops her head back through the curtain) And, why not?
Xelloss: Yeah, why not? I think she looks very good like she is.
Martina: (turns blue) I'm gonna put on that really big robe...right now. (grabs the brown robe and throws it on) I'm ready now!!
(both go on-stage)
Martina: So smile the heaven upon this holy act, that after hours with sorrow chide us not!
Xelloss: Amen, amen! But come what sorrow can, it cannot countervail the exchange of joy that one short minute gives in her sight: do thou but close our hands with holy words; then..the L word-devouring death do what he dare; it is enough I may but call her mine.
(back-stage)
Phibby: Hey, director-man?
Bishounen: (Stares into space awkwardly)
Phibby: (pokes him)
Bishounen: Hello, Phibby!
Phibby: (Sweatdrops) Isn't this supposed to be an angsty play?
Bishounen: I dunno.
Phibby: It IS supposed to be angsty. But, it ISN'T.
Bishounen: ...Yay!
Phibby: AAG! (runs away)
Rezo: Must...defeat...idiot...
Kopii: Must...kill...baka...
NoV: Get ready, Lina. You have to go out there after Martina's speech.
Lina: Oh-kay.
(on-stage)
Martina: These violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die, like fire and powder which, as they kiss, consume: the sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness and in the taste confounds the appetite: therefore love moderately; long love doth so; too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.
(back-stage)
NoV: (giggles in delight) Here it is! The big marriage scene! Go on, Lina! Everybody watch! Watch!! WATCH!! I COMMAND YOU!!!
Lina: (rolls her eyes and walks on-stage)
(on-stage)
Martina: Here comes the lady: O! so light a foot will ne'er wear out the everlasting flint: a lover may bestride the gossamer that idles in the wanton summer air, and yet not fall; so light is vanity.
Lina: Good-even to my ghostly confessor.
Martina: Romeo shall thank thee, daughter, for us both.
Lina: Wait. Stop. Is Martina my father?
Xelloss: That was an odd question.
Lina: ...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!!
NoV: No. I don't.
Lina: ...as much to him, else are his thanks too much.
Xelloss: (glomps Lina) Ah! Juliet, if the measure of the joy be heap'd like mine-
Lina: (threateningly) Unless you want to be 'heap'd' on the floor-
Xelloss: (lets go and attaches to her arm instead) Like mine, and that thy skill be more to blazon it, then sweeten with thy breath this neighbour air, and let music's tongue unfold the imagin'd happiness that both receive in either by this dear encounter.
Lina: (snatches her arm back and whacks Xelloss) Conceit, more rich in matter than in words brags of his substance, not of ornament: they are but beggars that can count their worth; but my true love is grown to much excess I cannot sum up half my sum of wealth.
Martina: Come, come with me, and we will make short work; for, by your leaves, you shall not stay alone till holy church incorporate two in one.
Lina: ...time to leave already? What happened to the wedding? Aren't Romeo and Juliet supposed to get hitched at this particular time?
Xelloss: You were looking forward to the kiss, weren't you?
(SMACK!!)
Xelloss: (now has a big red handprint on his face) That means 'yes' in Lina. Til we next meet! Parting is such sweet divine sorrow!!
**
(smoke fills the back of the stage/Cutie Corner)
NoV: (cries) Hello, everyone. I tried to bake cookies and caught the oven on fire. (sniffles)
Xelloss: (Coughs) That's because you tried to bake them in a pan that had rivets in it.
Gourry: (munching) Hey! These cookies are great! (stuffs about thirty burnt blobs into his mouth)
Lina: Oy. (whacks herself in the head)
NoV: (sniffles) Let's get started. Xelloss, Martina? It's time for the wedding scene.
Xelloss: (Sweatdrops) Is this part...essential to the rest of the play?
NoV: Yes.
Xelloss: Do we have to do it?
NoV: YES.
Xelloss: Really?
NoV: YES!!!
Xelloss: (sigh) Oh-kay. But, I won't like it.
(Xelloss and Martina head toward the stage)
Martina: (looks back) I changed my wardrobe. (leaves)
NoV: (does a double take) MARTINA!!!! YOU CAN'T BE FRIAR LAURENCE IN A BIKINI!!!!
Martina: (pops her head back through the curtain) And, why not?
Xelloss: Yeah, why not? I think she looks very good like she is.
Martina: (turns blue) I'm gonna put on that really big robe...right now. (grabs the brown robe and throws it on) I'm ready now!!
(both go on-stage)
Martina: So smile the heaven upon this holy act, that after hours with sorrow chide us not!
Xelloss: Amen, amen! But come what sorrow can, it cannot countervail the exchange of joy that one short minute gives in her sight: do thou but close our hands with holy words; then..the L word-devouring death do what he dare; it is enough I may but call her mine.
(back-stage)
Phibby: Hey, director-man?
Bishounen: (Stares into space awkwardly)
Phibby: (pokes him)
Bishounen: Hello, Phibby!
Phibby: (Sweatdrops) Isn't this supposed to be an angsty play?
Bishounen: I dunno.
Phibby: It IS supposed to be angsty. But, it ISN'T.
Bishounen: ...Yay!
Phibby: AAG! (runs away)
Rezo: Must...defeat...idiot...
Kopii: Must...kill...baka...
NoV: Get ready, Lina. You have to go out there after Martina's speech.
Lina: Oh-kay.
(on-stage)
Martina: These violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die, like fire and powder which, as they kiss, consume: the sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness and in the taste confounds the appetite: therefore love moderately; long love doth so; too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.
(back-stage)
NoV: (giggles in delight) Here it is! The big marriage scene! Go on, Lina! Everybody watch! Watch!! WATCH!! I COMMAND YOU!!!
Lina: (rolls her eyes and walks on-stage)
(on-stage)
Martina: Here comes the lady: O! so light a foot will ne'er wear out the everlasting flint: a lover may bestride the gossamer that idles in the wanton summer air, and yet not fall; so light is vanity.
Lina: Good-even to my ghostly confessor.
Martina: Romeo shall thank thee, daughter, for us both.
Lina: Wait. Stop. Is Martina my father?
Xelloss: That was an odd question.
Lina: ...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!!
NoV: No. I don't.
Lina: ...as much to him, else are his thanks too much.
Xelloss: (glomps Lina) Ah! Juliet, if the measure of the joy be heap'd like mine-
Lina: (threateningly) Unless you want to be 'heap'd' on the floor-
Xelloss: (lets go and attaches to her arm instead) Like mine, and that thy skill be more to blazon it, then sweeten with thy breath this neighbour air, and let music's tongue unfold the imagin'd happiness that both receive in either by this dear encounter.
Lina: (snatches her arm back and whacks Xelloss) Conceit, more rich in matter than in words brags of his substance, not of ornament: they are but beggars that can count their worth; but my true love is grown to much excess I cannot sum up half my sum of wealth.
Martina: Come, come with me, and we will make short work; for, by your leaves, you shall not stay alone till holy church incorporate two in one.
Lina: ...time to leave already? What happened to the wedding? Aren't Romeo and Juliet supposed to get hitched at this particular time?
Xelloss: You were looking forward to the kiss, weren't you?
(SMACK!!)
Xelloss: (now has a big red handprint on his face) That means 'yes' in Lina. Til we next meet! Parting is such sweet divine sorrow!!