Romeo and Juliet
NoV: Welp, didn't get many reviews on that last one, eh?Zelgadis: Who cares?
NoV: They're probably mad because it's been two years since I've updated.....they think that....I'm flaky.
Gourry: (Scratches NoV's head making dandruff scatter around) You sure are.
NoV: -.-0 Anyway, might as well get started. Juliet? Lina? You're up. Filia? Be ready to go on after Lina's speech.
Lina: (goes on-stage) Gallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds, towards Phoebus' lodging, such a waggoner—
(backstage)
NoV: At least some people attempted to know their lines.....
Xelloss: I have some business to attend to, so—
NoV: Hey! You can't go—aw, what do I care? You're not in this scene....go. Vanish away. I'll have less headaches when you're gone.
Xelloss: (teleports)
Martina: So.....Rezo? You have any plans for after the play?
Rezo: Well, I had hoped to—oof! (gets elbowed by Kopii) I mean, no. Did you have anything in mind?
Martina: Well, maybe you wanna catch a movie?
Zelgadis: Oh, yes. He'd love to go WATCH a movie with you. (smirk)
Amelia: Mr. Zelgadis! Please help me revive Mr. Phibby and Mr. Gaav! (to Gourry) You certainly did hit them hard, didn't you?
Filia: Why would you want to waste your time helping stupid, selfish mazoku? They're not in the play anymore! I say leave them to rot.
Amelia: But, Miss Filia, it would be so unjust to leave them uncared for and unconscious! Who knows what doom may befall them!
NoV: Filia, are you listening for your cue?
(on-stage)
Lina: --to an impatient child that hath new robes and may not wear them. O! here comes my nurse.
Filia: (enters)
Lina: And she brings news; and every tongue that speaks but Romeo's name speaks heavenly eloquence. Now, nurse, what news? What hast thou there? The cords that Romeo bade thee fetch?
Filia: Ay, ay, the cords. (throws the thick, black cables on the floor)
Lina: Ah me, (mutters) what large cords ye bringeth.....what news? Why dost thou wring thy hands?
Filia: Ah well-a-day! He's dead, he's dead, he's dead! We are undone, lady, we are undone! Alack the day! He's gone, that filthy mazoku, he's kill'd he's dead!
Lina: Can heaven be so envious?
Filia: Romeo can, though heaven cannot. O, ye gods in heaven!!! Romeo, Romeo, who ever would have thought it!!! ROMEO!!
Lina: Errr.....Hath Romeo slain himself?
Filia: I wish, honey. I saw the wound, I saw it with mine eyes, God save the mark! Here on his manly breast—
Xelloss: (phases in) Manly breast?
NoV: I thought you were doing something. -.-0
Xelloss: I was.
Filia: (evil look at Xelloss through the curtains) Pale, pale as ashes, all bedaub'd in blood. All in gore blood; I swooned at the sight! Oh, the bloody, mangled, grungy filth that was once your love! Oh, how bloody, blood-spattered, gory, blood, blood......ahem....
Lina: Ye gods....-.-0 O break, my heart!
Filia: Oh Tybalt! Tybalt! The best friend I had: O courteous (makes a gagging motion) Tybalt! O honest gentleman. (cough) That ever I should live to see thee dead. (mutters) That we could only be so lucky....
Lina: Is Romeo slaughter'd, and is Tybalt dead? You care to explain what REALLY happened, there nurse?
Filia: 0 Tybalt is gone and Romeo banished. Romeo, who kill'd him, he is banished.
Lina: O God! Did Romeo's hand shed Tybalt's blood?
Filia: It did, it did; alas, the day! It did.
Lina: O serpent heart—
(backstage)
NoV: Better to tune out so long a soliloquy.
Xelloss: You know, it was really BENVOLIO'S hand that shed Tybalt's blood.....or at least cracked Tybalt's skull.
NoV: Yes, but we're hoping the audience isn't that alert.
Amelia: (fanning Phibby and Gaav periodically) Maybe they'll be awake in time for the banquet...
(on-stage)
Lina: (ears perk at the backstage mention of food) And, yeah, raven, saint, villain, paradise, bla, bla, bla....
Filia: (sweatdrop) Um....shame come to Romeo! That vile little monster.....
Lina: Blister'd be thy tongue! (mutters) Although I must agree with you.....for such a wish! He was not born to shame: upon his brow shame is asham'd to sit....which really just confused me....
Filia: Ditto.....Will you speak well of him that kill'd your cousin?
Lina: Shall I speak ill of him that is my husband. Gah.....Where is my father and my mother, nurse?
NoV: (whispers) Lina, you just skipped a huge paragraph!
Lina: On purpose!
Filia: Ahem. Weeping and wailing over Tybalt's corpse. Will you go to them? I will bring you thither.
Lina: Wash they his wounds with tears; mine shall be spent when theirs are dry for Romeo's banishment. Take up those cords. Poor ropes, you are beguil'd, both you and I for Romeo is exiled. Come, cords; come nurse; I'll go to my wedding bed; and death, not Romeo, take my maidenhead!
Filia: Hie to your chamber; I'll find Romeo to comfort---ackk!!!! (trips over the cords)
Lina: -.-0 I told you to take those up....
Filia: (blushing fiercely) Um, um, hark ye! Your Romeo will be here tonight! I'll to him; he is hid at Laurence's cell! (gets up)
Lina: O! find him; give this ring to my true knight, ah geez.....and bid him come to take his last farewell!
(exeunt)
Filia: Oh, I can't BELIEVE I tripped!!
Xelloss: (holding a camera) I can't BELIEVE I caught it on tape!
Filia: (fumes) OOH!! I am SICK of your stupid mazoku video camera!!!! (tries to grab it away from him) Come back here!!
NoV: (sweatdrops) Well....join us for the next installment....I guess...
Filia: NAMAGOMI!!!!!!