[[ A/N ]] I went back through my chapters, reread them, and messed with the quotations and stuff that were screwy...I'm feeling rather accomplished. Once I find out how I can make stuff italicized and bold and stuff (because f.f.net is evil about that for me) I will go back and spruce up those chapters a bit more. This chapter is shorter than usual. But this chapter makes me feel justified. n-n I've written the word "chapter" a lot in the A/Ns.
[[ Disclaimer ]] Waking up in the morning, I realize I still don't own Naruto. Darn.
Chapter Five: Bittersweet
The emotions dripped off her, pearls of glass sucking out every bit of anger from under her skin and icing it. His right hand held the rail and his left hand clutched the forehead protector that had hidden everything about him from her. The unfeeling mortal before her began the process of considering and evaluating her thoughts. Confusion.
"This is my worst enemy. I've survived my entire life with this forever on my mind, never giving me peace."
"What...what is it?"
"My ruin. In order to protect the Main House from rebellion from the Branch House, they put this upon the people of the Branch House. A few hand seals and it destroys the brain cells of the Branch House victim. At death, it will close up the Byakugan in the body. This gives the Main House members a distinct advantage over the Branch. In this way I am never to become stronger than anyone else and I know that my destiny is set."
"Set...?"
"Set. I will be bound to a sempiternal chain of loathing for what I was born as."
Tenten's hand lifted, her palm inches from the back of his shoulder. But the agony gripped at her once more. Not only that, how would he react to such a gesture of familiarity? 'Neji, you sound so...alone. But you are not.'
"You are scared that you'll only be a person meant to save the Main House..."
"I am not." His grip on the rail increased. "It's the injustice of being looked down upon because of how your outcome was predicted."
"You decided what my fate was, Neji! That we weren't meant..." The beads had melted, providing her with the strength to ignore the pain and revive her ire. "I lost so badly to...Temari...it was horrifying! Only five minutes in the fight, and I was down. It hurt my pride more than anything else. I know what it feels like to be underestimated!! For people to go easy on you!!"
[[ Flashback ]]
"I'm going to be a ninja! One of the best since Tsunade-sama!!"
A man ruffled her short hair, creating a disheveled halo around Tenten's face.
"First you're going to have to be able to dodge this kunai." With that, her father threw it was purposefully missed. At the small girl's shouts of glee, he said, "Then you'll be great."
[[ End Flashback ]]
Her sight was once again distorted in the tears that were forming---not just from the physical sting, but the emotional anguish.
[[ Flashback ]]
"Neji, you're a true genius who has inherited all of the strength from the Hyuuga Clan." Neji tucked his chin inwardly in a sign of acknowledgement.
"And Lee, you're a genius at hard work!!!" Gai sensei cooed and doted over his obvious favorite. A flash of green was tightly hugging his waist. "Thank you, Gai sensei!!!" Liquid poured from both of their eyes.
Tenten watched, an amused look hoisted upon her face for effect. But what was also apparent was her disappointment and grief. The stirring from her twin pools of chocolate hardened into diamond. 'What about me? Why don't I get praise? I worked just as hard as anyone...it's just that no one was watching...'
Neji's eyes flickered from face to face, taking in her hurt, but never saying a word. He hadn't cared then. Hadn't cared much.
[[ End Flashback ]]
'Neji, I wish you could feel my heart right now...feel how much it's dying...'
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
Lee, along with his sensei, was on a mission. Rescuing him from the banal room, Gai had dragged him into Tenten's house. Her mother had been obliging to allow them to go onto Tenten's room, in hopes that they could find the source of her daughter's strange behavior.
"Gai sensei, I think I found something!!!"
They both leaned over the leather-bound book in expectation. "Broadening Your Horizon---LEE THIS ISN'T HER DIARY!!! THIS IS A BOOK ON SELF-HELP!!!!"
"But why's it in her room?" Gai suddenly turned his grimace into a gigantic beam as he reached for a different book. A journal.
"Here it is! You idiot. Listen to this," he commanded. "There are water marks on this page..."
'Does that mean Tenten was...crying?'
"Dear Diary, there is no reason for me to continue to pine after things I don't ever expect to get. It's impossible for me to let go, but it'd be nice to take a break from it all...but since it isn't possible...nothing's going right. He's already spurned me without my asking, doesn't recognize my existence, and watched me hurt others for his sake. I'm wondering if destiny really and truly is already determined, and if so, why it granted me these feelings that I do not want."
"That explains it..."
Lee merely thrust the diary back to its proper place. Enough emotional damage for one day. He knew that she had already let herself down...'She'll be able to take care of herself. Won't she? Because...for this...there is nothing that we can do to help.'
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
[[ Flashback ]]
The sun grazed Neji's shoulders. He titled his face heavenward, visage set into a brief stance of happiness. The last time that he would have that feeling for several years. The day before his father was killed in order to defend the Main House.
[[End Flashback ]]
"You know the way that true, untainted bliss feels?"
A forced nod. She was going to faint if she kept this up much longer. 'How do the guys stand it? It...is...ouch...'
"I have not felt that way for years. You are sure that you know my misery, but there is no way that you could have."
Tenten stepped forward, stumbling over her own thoughts. He stopped her with his voice. "You don't know what true helplessness is. What can you do about this caged bird and my end? Nothing."
He turned to go back through the door. 'Neji...don't run from your destiny...embrace it...don't leave me behind...take me with you...'
Neji falling into the dust in training, Neji glaring, Neji resting, Neji fighting...it passed before her and lifted into the sky, alleviating her ache for a brief moment before dropping her harshly back to earth. 'I know what true helplessness is! It's what I'm feeling right now...that I can't help you...that you won't try to stop your hate...that you won't give me an opportunity...'
Before he could get through, however, Tenten let her hand snatch his wrist and tug. The jolt brought her closer, and she leaned forward. Her lips graced the symbol on his forehead.
Then it was over, and the last strings of reality snapped. Sprawled on the balcony, Tenten was...asleep?
'She overexerted herself...stupid...'
Neji pulled Tenten up and gently laid her on the bed. His hands brought the forehead protector back to its original place, hiding the thing he'd finally shown to another.
'She doesn't ever give up...does she?'
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I reach out to those who review. Thank you. Thank you so, so, so, so, so, so, so much. Okay. I already mentioned that this chapter was shorter than the usual ones. I'm sorry, but it's just that I wanted to end the chapter this way. :D
(Coming soon) Chapter 6: Shut Up Much?
[[ Review Answers ]]
Kinumi: Aaahhh, flattered. Very much. I read some of your fics. They're fan-ter-as-tic. With a kick. Much thanks.
Calophi: Good questions! ...But I cannot answer them. You'll simply have to read. Neji may be nicer, but does he have room for love? ;
yuji-i16: I know what that's like. I usually just review once, but then I read this fic that made me want to keep reviewing. So, now, when they update, that's usually what I do. ]
Byakugan: claps New person! Thank you very much!
Dark Nemesis 7: I try to make them as in character as possible, so I'm glad that it works! Now, your reviews are not, they're awesome! -clings-You're all so cool! 3
Mango13: Yeah, it's very sad that they stuck Lee as the person who can no longer be a ninja. But it leaves room for some speculation and a lot of angsty scenes that'll completely stick to the more depressing theme of the recent manga chapters. And thanks for noticing! I struggled with how to make Neji want to fight Rock Lee...it worked!