Just Friends

Disclaimer: Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song Just Friends. All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.

Chapter 9: Two Friends, Drifting Apart

This time we almost made the pieces fit, didn't we?

This time we almost made some sense of it, didn't we?

This time I have the answer right here in my hand,

Then I touched it, and it has turned to sand.

"Didn't We"

"Ryan," Christi said, walking into Ryan's room. He was toweling off after a shower and didn't turn around. "Ryan, why did you call Marissa?"

Ryan turned around. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

Christi held up Ryan's cell phone. "You called her twice yesterday, and once the day before. I thought you agreed not to talk to her anymore."

Ryan's eyes narrowed. "Why are you going through my things?"

"Oh Ryan," Christi smiled sweetly, "I'm your girlfriend. I have the right to look through your stuff."

"No you don't. And you're not my girlfriend," Ryan spat angrily.

"What? We've been going out for two months, what do you mean I'm not your girlfriend?" Christi's smile was gone and a frown replaced it. "Ryan, what's gotten into you?"

Ryan was seething by this point. How dare Christi go through his personal belongings! And he'd just said she wasn't his girlfriend…was that a sign? Because she was definitely his girlfriend ten minutes ago.

"We're through," Ryan decided, "I can't take this any more."

"Ryan, wait, I'm sorry…" Christi trailed off as Ryan grabbed her jacket and threw it at her. "Please, just hear me out…oh baby!"

"Leave." Ryan's voice was low, but firm and insistent. Christi caught her jacket and sniffed, running out of the room. "And don't come back!"

Once he heard the door to his dorm room slam, Ryan thumped down on his bed. What had he just done? Why had he just broken up with Christi, besides the fact that she went through his belongings without permission? He knew, he'd known it for months, ever since he and Marissa broke up actually. He still loved Marissa. That was why. It would always be why he broke up with girls, unless he got Marissa again. Ryan knew it was true; he just wouldn't find happiness with anyone but her.

Ryan picked up the phone and dialed the number he'd barely been able to dial the past two months. Yeah, he'd definitely made a mistake in agreeing to not see or speak with Marissa, although they did speak occasionally.

Things just weren't the same. Ryan knew Marissa was upset—incredibly upset—with him for even half going along with Christi's wishes. She was his best friend and ex-lover after all, even though they both wanted to be together again.

"Hi, Marissa." Ryan was hopeful that she would be understanding, and proud of him for finally sticking up to Christi.

"Ryan? Does Christi know we're talking?" Marissa had this thing about being careful around Christi. But Marissa didn't know that Christi now knew about Ryan and Marissa's occasional talks.

"Yeah," Ryan answered, "She went through my cell phone records so I dumped her. Can you come over?"

"You know Ryan," Marissa said exasperatedly, "I'm not at your beck and call. We might be best friends, or at least we used to be, but it was really low of you to ditch me because your bimbo girlfriend was threatened by me. Because, in case she—and you—didn't know, we're through, and we will be through for the rest of our lives!" And with that, Marissa hung up, instantly regretting her words. She wanted to be more than just friends with Ryan, but she'd just told him that she didn't. And to top it all off, he was finally single again!

But if he really wanted her, he'd have to come and make an effort to get her. She wasn't going to just be there whenever it was convenient for him.

Ryan sighed, listening to the dial tone buzzing in his ear. He could still hear Marissa's cruel words in his head. She didn't really mean it, did she? Ryan hoped not. He wanted to be more than just friends with Marissa. But she apparently didn't.

He had to admit, it was preposterous of him to think that she'd just run over because he was through with Christi, as a friend or more. But the other part of him had just woken up and realized that he wanted Marissa. And she quite possibly wanted him.

--2 weeks later--

"Uh, you wanna go see a movie?" Ryan asked tentatively. Marissa had been successfully avoiding him for the past two weeks and she'd finally answered her phone. "As friends."

"Just friends?" Marissa asked hopefully, just to be sure. She really wanted Ryan to insist that it was a date, that he loved her and wouldn't take no for an answer. But she knew he wouldn't. Ryan just wasn't that kind of guy. He was the strong, silent type, something Marissa loved about him but really hated at certain times. And one of those times was now.

"Yeah," Ryan said, urgently pushing the other things he wanted to say out of his mouth.

I don't want to be just friends. I want it to be a date, I want to hold your hand in the movie theater and put my arm around you. I love you, if only you'd let me love you.

"Well…I don't know," Marissa hesitated, "I've already got plans with Karlye, Mitch, and Robbie."

"Oh." So she was going on a date. She obviously didn't love him. Ryan's heart sank. "So maybe we could grab a cup of coffee after your date?"

"It's not a date."

So it wasn't a date. Did Ryan actually have a chance? Could Marissa possibly love him?

"So a cup of coffee sounds great." Marissa broke out into a huge smile. It might not be a date, but it was something. A chance to see Ryan was always good news to her.

"Five-thirty okay?"

"Yeah, see you then."

--

Ryan waited fifteen minutes before calling Marissa. He took one last sip of his latte for caffeine and dialed her number.

It rang three times before one of Marissa's roommates picked up. "Hello?"

"Is Marissa there?"

"Yeah…one sec." The girl set the phone down on the table and knocked on Marissa's door. "Marissa?" She opened the door cautiously and saw Marissa sleeping, fully clothed, on top of her comforter. She quietly closed the door and went back to the phone. "She's sleeping."

"Thanks." Ryan sighed and ended the call. So she was sleeping. She didn't care enough about their friendship to set a goddamn alarm, so that she could meet her supposed best friend for coffee.

They'd drifted apart, much to Ryan's dismay. It had to do with the fact that they could never be 'just friends'. Ryan felt hurt, though, that Marissa didn't seem to want to be 'just friends' with him. She didn't want to be anything with him.

Ryan loved Marissa, not his friend, but his soul mate. He'd get her back, some way, some how.

He realized now, that he and Marissa could never be 'just friends'. But he'd be her friend first, he didn't want to drift further away from her than he already was. Then, Ryan would tell her how he felt. Because their friendship was suffering, their potential love life was suffering, and Ryan was suffering.