I don't own LOTR, ect. Please read & review!!
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"Look what you did!" screamed Pippin frantically.
"Oh, come on. I'm sure he's fine," said Gandalf,
"Show him Legolas." The wounded elf remained motionless on the forest floor, an arrow embedded in his skull.
"See!" Pippin continued, "He's not moving!"
"He just needs a little help, that's all," Gandalf said, forcing the unconscious Legolas onto his feet only to "accidentally" drop him onto a large pointy rock.
"You're making it worse!" Now he has a large rock sticking through his chest!" Pippin screeched.
"Shake it off Legolas," urged the unsympathetic Gandalf.
"You're a monster!" Pippin said, horrified.
Suddenly, Aragorn walked into the clearing. "Hey," he asked casually, "What's up?"
Pippin pointed a trembling finger at the fatally wounded Legolas. "Oh my great regalness! What happened?" asked Aragorn, staring at poor Legolas. "You see," began Pippin, "Gandalf--"
"It doesn't matter," interrupted a nervous Gandalf, "Can you help him?"
"Well," said Aragorn a little proudly, "I am both healer and ruler."
"Then just fix him!!!!" roared Pippin amazingly loudly for such a small hobbit.
"All right, all right," said Aragorn, annoyed that anyone would dare yell at him, the King of Middle-Earth. He kneeled down by the injured Legolas and inspected his many wounds. "Yep," commented Aragorn, "That is definitely an arrow." He stood up and brushed off his hands.
"That's all you can do?!" asked Pippin, angry.
"What do you mean?" asked Aragorn, "He's fine."
To the surprise of both Gandalf and Pippin, Legolas moaned, slowly getting up, "Where am I? What happened?"
"But..." stammered Gandalf, "How?"
"What's going on?" asked the puzzled Legolas, detangling the arrow from his hair. There was no blood on it. He mumbled to himself, "Brown and green, my favorite colors..."
"Let's just say that Legolas has a very hard head," stated Aragorn, "Instead of actually piercing his skull, it just kind of... bounced."
"Oh, look," said Legolas absently, staring at Aragorn's sword, "a pretty shiny thing..."
"And the pointy rock?" asked Pippin anxiously. "Oh, that," dismissed Aragorn, "Didn't you know that elves wear armor?"
"Hi, I'm Legolas. What's your name?" the delusioned elf asked a nearby tree.
"Is he going to be okay," asked Gandalf, unaware of the jabbering elf behind him.
"It's nice to meet you Marcia," Legolas said, happily, "Do you like brown and green?"
"Well..." hesitated Aragorn, glancing at Legolas, who was having a conversation with the tree. Gandalf looked behind him at the elf.
"Ha! Ha! Ha! You're so funny Marcia!" giggled Legolas.
"Oh no," groaned Gandalf, "This can't be good."
Legolas continued his conversation, oblivious to anyone but him and Marcia, "...once, I ate this slug. It was really gross. And then..."
Aragorn sighed, "Poor guy. Oh well... at least he's happy."
"...I decided to see what window cleaner tasted like, so I drank a whole bottle. Then I had to go to the emergency room, and they had to pump my stomach. And then..."
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