Title: Crying for you.
Chapter: 3/?
Rating: R, to be safe.
Disclaimer: I bought the Harry Potter. Yeah, right.
Dedication: Ehh. This dedication's up for grabs. Lets say…Collin. He bought me breakfast.
Warnings: Yaoi. Ron/Malfoy. Kinda depressing.
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-3- As much as it hurts me…
//\\ This is where I belong sometimes…//\\
Ron's nightmares started with Draco and ended with Harry, and were the worst things he'd ever had to bare witness too; even if it was only a dream. And every time, every night, he'd wake up screaming, shaking and crying, lost in a world of shadows and illusions until someone held him and spoke softly to him. Lately, it was Shamus' job, since no one else would wake up to the screams.
When the nightmares became to much, Ron was moved to the hospital wing. "Ron? Can I sit down?" Ron's eyes darted from the teenager in the door to the chair beside his bed. "Yeah, go ahead, Draco. Not like I can stop you if you want to." Draco made his way to the chair and sat down. "What's up?" the blonde asked, running a hand through his hair. Ron stared. Staring was rude, and he knew it; but he stared regardless. "I'm crazy." He stated, shrugged casually. Because, really, who wasn't now a days? "Crazy? I doubt it. Or, at least, as crazy as me or Harry. Why don't you let us help you, Ron?" Ron shook his head. "You can't help me." The powder blue hospital gown hide the thinness form Draco's view, but he knew that Ron looked horrible. Nothing like the beautiful creature who had fought with him in potions, mere weeks before the start of the war. "I can try, Ron, and I will. I want the old Ron back. I want you to hit me and yell at me when I tease you. I want you to hang out with Potter and get into trouble with Snape. I just want to see you smile again."
Ron didn't remember how to smile. He'd thought about it, and he just couldn't remember. He remembered it felt nice; but he couldn't remember how to smile, no matter how hard he tried. "I can't smile." He stated, tossing a glance at Draco. The blonde shook his head. "You can; you just don't want to. Please, Ron. Try to remember." Ron laid back, memories running through his mind. Harry and himself, playing Quidditch with the twins. He and Draco, watching the sun rise in the astronomy tower. "It hurts to remember." He said, quietly. Draco took his hand. "Why?" Ron's eyes drifted to the hand intertwined with his own. "Because then I remember we're not together anymore."
//\\ But I'm getting better now...//\\
Harry and Draco spoke constantly about Ron lately. Of course, they had just reason. He seemed to be getting a little better with each visit from the two. Both loved the boy dearly; how could you not? And now, Ron was joking.
Which may not seem like a big deal to most people, but Harry and Draco rejoiced when Ron asked "So, how's Snape doing? Is he missing me yet?" Harry very nearly cried. As for Draco, Ron found himself enveloped in a tight hug.
"I really do feel better, guys. You don't have to check in on me every break. And look; now I have class work to keep me occupied. So go on, go get some food or something!" Ron's pleas were half-assed, though. He really did enjoy having the two boys visit him. It was like a guilty pleasure. And of course, the two teenagers liked to visit him. Now that he joked, it seemed that he was getting better. But he had yet to smile.
No one mentioned it when Ron started coming to classes again. In fact, everyone smiled and asked him what was up, and how did he feel? And Ron just nodded and answered truthfully; He was busy with homework and he felt a lot better, thank you. Harry made sure no one bugged him too much, and Draco glared at anyone who bothered Ron.
It was nice how they were looking out for him, but Ron decided that it was a bit over done. And he told them that. "Guys, thanks for looking out for me, but really. It's over done. Too much. You know." And they did, really. Because it had always been the same with them. Harry knew best; And Ron didn't blame them, really, for trying to keep him his old self. But he still wasn't the 'old' Ron; he doubted he ever could be again. The 'old' Ron would be loud and anxious and excited easily by the prospect of almost anything. The 'new' Ron, he was tired often and while still happy, he also sat quietly and played chess for hours on end.
Sometimes, he contemplated just what had happened that fateful day almost five months ago, when Hermione had given him one last smile before throwing herself into the battle, the last one of her life. If only he hadn't pause to yell at Neville, she would still be alive. Still be here. She would be playing with his hair and telling him he was being silly, and didn't he have homework? He missed her; she had always been a good friend.
Harry missed her too, of course. But Ron, who wasn't use to losing people, had taken it hard. His family had been torn apart by this war; his best friend lost, and his relationships changed forever. Hermione was gone, and so was Charlie. Ginny, then Percy in a mind blowing turn of events in which the third oldest Weasley turned sides. It had hurt; while Percy hadn't always been the greatest brother, he was still a Weasley, and Ron loved him.
Of course, Ron hadn't been the only one who'd had a family member turn on them. Many people were distraught to find their mothers, brothers, sisters or fathers among the dead Death Eaters. And every time someone cried for a family member lost, Ron's heart torn a little more. It hurt him to see others hurt.
//\\ And This Is My Home, Here With You. //\\
This was home. This was home, because Ron only felt safe with Harry and Draco. It was alarming at the rate Ron was recovering; alarming but welcome. Ron's smile was coming back, and to this, the other teens rejoiced. If it weren't for the fact that Ron still couldn't remember how to smile, they would have felt that he was as recovered as he could be. But he couldn't smile; not yet.
And that still worried Draco. Because Ron wasn't Ron unless he had a smile on his face. Harry let it slide, but Draco; who still loved Ron, bless his little heart; just wouldn't forget. Ron's smile could brighten the darkest place, and Draco missed it. He missed it as much as he missed Ron himself; he needed the red head back in his life as he had been. Need to hold him and kiss him, to tell him he loved him once more.
He could; he could waltz right up to Ron and tell him he still loved him, and wouldn't he come back to him? But he wouldn't. He was scared, and with due reason. Ron couldn't smile; so did he even remember what love was? Could he love again, after the horrible things that he'd done to him? Draco loved Ron, loved him with all his heart. But he had done horrible things to the teen, had broken his heart. Had pushed him away because he had started to shy off, and had been to scared to say anything.
And Draco blamed himself, because he felt that because he hadn't paid enough attention to the beautiful teen he had held mere weeks before. And it hurt. It hurt like the stabbing of a thousand tiny needles into his heart; like a burning sensation of his heart turning to ashes. Like the Dementors kiss. He'd lost something more precious then his soul; he'd lost the only person who he'd ever loved, who'd ever loved him.
And he vowed to get him back.
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Never write this sort of story while listening to Reflection's from Mulan in French and then My Band……it rots your brain. Like glue. ^_^ Any who, review and I shall add more…hey, if you want to flame, go ahead….I've gotta get some fuel to start a fire to slow roast my brother sometime!