Disclaimer – We STILL do not own HP or any of the stuff in the HP universe. If we did we probably would be rich millionaires with butlers called Jeeves. Just to set the record straight we don't own Mike's Super Short Show either (and frankly we feel bad for whoever does).

Authors Notes – Hello all! This is another one of these stories which because we are just soooooooooooo lazy we just got around to typing. It was written in Math and GASP actually has a Math-ish song in there! Please hold the applause. It was written by beautiful, perfect, just-plain brilliant JANIE aka J.

Warning – this is in the format of a Quibbler article, but however because we can't find a copy of the 5th book it may be a little messed up.

Warning 2 – If anyone is REALLY sappy like dear gypsyfreak I would recommend not to read this. As gypsyfreak put it in Potter Parody 1...

"I think only people who read the 5th book would think this funny and I did and I do but people who cried at the ending when Harry's godfather died will probably just start crying again at the thought of it."

Because the ending of the 5th book was so stupid FTJ commonly pokes fun at it. GET USED TO IT.

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Sirius Black's Real Death

We all know that Sirius Black had been locked up in Azkaban for 12 years, escaped, attempted to attempt the murder he had been falsely accused for, then escaped on the back of a stolen hippogriff. After being on the run for a year he finally made it to his mom's old house and helped to reestablish the OotP. Then when Harry and his friends were in mortal danger at the ministry Sirius and some other people went of to save them. While there Sirius was brutally murdered by his cousin Bellatrix.

OR WAS HE?

FLASHBACK

One day in Potions class (in Harry's 3rd year) everyone was really bored. So the brilliant Hermione came up with brilliant plan that only the brilliant Hermione and her brilliant frizzy fro could come up with.

"Hey," said Hermione to the class and Snape, "Let's throw big spit covered wads of paper at Snape!" "OK!" Said the class and Snape.

So the class and Snape began the Battle of the Spit covered wads of paper, better known as spitballs. All the while watched by a shaggy black dog, better known as Sirius.

A bad aimed spitball on Neville Fatbottoms part caused Sirius' jaw to drop and him to swallow the spitball. Neville Fatbottom was away getting plastic surgery so he was unavailable for comment but Sirius said, "It needs salt."

END FLASHBACK

Quote the 5th book (Sirius' death)

'Only one couple were still battling, apparently unaware of the new arrival. Harry saw Sirius duck Bellatrix's jet of red light: he was laughing at her. "Come on, you can do better than that!" he yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room. The second jet of light hit him squarely in the chest.

(End of quote)

Thus killing him

BUT DID IT?

Startling new evidence has recently revealed that Sirius Black did not die of a jet of red light but he died 3/10 of a second before of indigestion of PAPER!

SO NOW YOU KNOW, THANKS FOR WATCHING MIKE'S SUPER SHORT SHOW!

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Authors Notes – wow this story appeared to be a big hit. More people than I thought hated the ending of OotP. Anyway we're just giving one shout out to Italian Chic cause she reviewed every story and has been begging 4 one. So everyone cheer for Italian Chic.