But in the Duke, Zidler had gotten much more than he had bargained for. He wanted the deeds to the Moulin Rouge. He wanted to by my Satine.
The Moulin Rouge was to become a theatre, Zidler announced during rehearsal. But the theatre came with a price that was more than I could bare. The Duke was to woo Satine over a dinner, and then she would be his.
At the rehearsal, Satine and I exchanged glances every so often while Zidler made his speech. Just as he was finished speaking, a large wrecking ball came hurtling through the wall directly behind him.
"The show must go one!" He shouted.
Yes, the show would go on, but Satine would not attend supper that night, or the following night. She would spend her time with me, rehearsing for the show.
I ran about, making up the story as I went, shouting lines out into the night, making Satine laugh and yell with me.
". . . and the magical sitar says the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."
Rehearsals continued from there, and Satine and I spent more time together every day. Soon enough we weren't exactly rehearsing anymore. Aside from slight interruptions from the Duke, we were almost always together, exchanging kisses.
For try as the Duke may, it was almost too easy for the young writer and the lead actress to invent perfectly legitimate reasons to avoid him.
One day at rehearsal I was watching Satine as she sat next to the Duke, smiling as I knew I could make up another reason for her to avoid her plans with him yet again. I walked over cautiously and leaned down.
"Mademoiselle Satine," I whispered. "I haven't quite finished writing that new scene. The "Will the lovers be meeting at the Sitar Player's humble abode" scene and I wondered if I could work on it with you later tonight." I voiced my secret invitation, desperately hoping she'd say yes.
The Duke once again demanded she attend a supper.
"Well, it's not important. We could work on it tomorrow." I said, standing back up. Satine rose furiously.
"How dare you! It cannot wait until tomorrow the "lovers WILL be meeting in the Sitar Player's humble abode" scene is the most important in the production. We will work on it tonight until I am completely satisfied." I smiled smugly as the Duke was lost for words at our managing to slip through his greasy fingers once again.
I followed Satine up to the second story landing, above all the rehearsing and above the troublesome Duke. We ducked behind a curtain and kissed, not in the least worried about someone discovering us. Faintly in the background we could hear Zidler,
"Bright and early tomorrow we'll work on the next scene-"the lovers are discovered!"
When we had stopped kissing I made sure Satine would come that night at eight. She laughed and sent me off not really wanting to go myself.
But Satine did not show up that night. Satine had not even gone to the Duke.
How could I know in those last, fatal days, that a force darker than jealousy and stronger than love had begun to take hold of Satine.
When she did not arrive for the Duke, she was saved by the quick thinking of Harold Zidler. His brilliant lies had once again averted disaster. But no lie, however brilliant, could save Satine. All night the penniless Sitar Player had waited, and now, for the first time, he felt the cold stab of Jealousy. I looked up at Satine, who was lying on my bed in a bathrobe.
"Where were you last night?" I asked softly.
"I told you, I was sick." She answered. I walked over and sat next to her.
"You don't have to lie to me." I said, reaching for her. She moved away.
"We have to end it. Everyone knows." These words stabbed at me until I felt I couldn't breathe. End it, now, after we had come so far? I couldn't just forget about her like that! "Sooner or later the Duke will find out too."
I looked away, breathing hard. "On opening night, I have to sleep with the Duke." My heart clenched. "And the jealousy will drive you mad." My eyes stung as she got up and walked to the window. Angry and sad all at once, I got up and walked after her out onto the windowsill.
"Then I'll write a song," I said, "And we'll put in it the show, and no matter how bad things get, or whatever happens," I continued, kissing her forehead. "Whenever you hear it, or sing it, or whistle it or hum it, then you'll know it'll mean we love one another.
"I won't get jealous." Those four fatal words. If I only knew then how wrong I was.
She still refused to believe it. I looked at her desperately through the spaces in the light up sign outside my room, hoping she was lying. But she only shook her head and looked away.
"Never knew I could feel like this." I knew she said it wouldn't work, but I had to try.
"Like I've never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss."
And we did use the secret song in rehearsal now. We were still together, our love had overcome all obstacles.
"Seasons may change. Winter to spring. But I love you, until the end of time."
"Come what may"
I had sang it before and I would sing it again. "I will love you until my dying day." And I would. I would love Satine far beyond my dying day. I would love her forever.
Now Satine was singing along with me.
"Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place. Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace. Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste. It all revolves around you. And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide."
Satine spent all her days and nights with me, sometimes rehearsing and sometimes not.
"Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side." And that was true. I was nearly always at her side.
"Storm clouds may gather, and stars may collide. But I love you, until the end of time. Come what may, come what may, I will love you."
And I would.
Then one day during rehearsal, something was let slip by Nini, one of Satine's dancers. Maybe if she had kept quiet things would not have been the way they were or are.
". . .I will love you until my dying day."
But the Duke did not like the ending.
"Why would the courtesan choose a penniless Sitar Player over the maharaja, who is offering a lifetime of security? That's real love."
That wasn't true!
"Once the Sitar player has satisfied his lust, he will leave the courtesan with nothing. I suggest that in the end the courtesan choose the maharaja."
The Duke could care less about the meaning of this play. All he wanted was the one thing he knew he couldn't have no matter how hard he tried. Satine.
"WHY SHOULDN'T THE COURTESAN CHOOSE THE MAHARAJA?!"
"BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!!" I yelled back, soon realizing my horrible mistake. "H-him. Sh-she doesn't love h--she doesn't love him." I knew this made no use, Our secret was as good as exposed.
The ending was going to be re-written to have the courtesan choose the maharaja, and without our secret song. Satine began putting on her act for the Duke. She was going to have supper with him, and god knows what else. I felt my heart drop to my stomach and my throat clench.
Backstage after rehearsal I had pulled Satine aside.
"I don't want you to sleep with him." I begged. Satine was right when she said he could destroy everything, but I didn't care. All I wanted was her, I didn't care about the show! She said it was for us, but I refused to believe it. How could something like that lead to something good?
"You promised to me you wouldn't be jealous." She whispered. She was right, I realized with horror, I had promised that. But she must have known I would go back on my word. What kind of lover was I if I remained emotionless as she slept with another man? I tried everything to stop her from going, but she went anyway.
She had gone to the tower to save us all, and for our part, we could do nothing but wait.