He's staring glumly at their television. The house appears the same as I
remember from our last visit. I take a deep breath, dreading what I have
to do but knowing it has to be done nonetheless. I push the doorbell once,
holding it in momentarily. If he's in as big a trance as he appears to be
in, who knows what it might take to bring him out of it.
"Hey..." I don't know what to say to him. Even though we're brothers, even though we've grown a lot closer than anyone expected over the years, there are still moments when words can not find either of us. He doesn't return the greeting, merely opening the door and pointing me in. I glance around the room. Pictures of Bella line the walls and the mantle about the fireplace. The playpen remains in its apparent corner. The toys remain scattered on the floor as they must have been left before the family reunion. The stroller is placed near the door in its folded up position and it's obvious that nothing has been touched since he's been home.
He catches my eyes wandering the room and speaks quietly. "I can't bring myself to do anything with it." His voice is quiet, calm almost, yet still very upset by the unfolding situation. "I keep thinking that if I try to ignore what's happening, it's somehow going to change." He sinks down on the couch, the blank look returning to his eyes. Emotionless.
"It's not going to change Nathan. Not unless you change." I have to be blunt with him. It's the only way he's going to get that through his thick head. He nods at me, not offering any insights as to what happened to them. "You gonna talk to me or what?" I prod, kind of turned off by the fact that I've traveled this far with no results.
"What do you want me to say?" He stares straight ahead, torn apart by the last few weeks. "My girlfriend left me. She took our daughter with her. I haven't even heard from them Luke. Not one word. I know I haven't been the perfect person. I'm probably as far from that as any one person can be, but it doesn't make me care any less." A sigh of relief washes over me. He's actually going to open up to me. He's starting to break down. I can see it in his eyes. "I can't lose them." He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a small black, velvet box and opens it up, immediately tearing up as he sees its contents. "I can't lose them, Luke."
I stand there in shock upon realizing what he's holding in his hand. I glance over at him and I stand up, moving beside him as he's still turned, facing me. The ring inside the box is delicate,. Just like Haley. "So what are you going to do about it?" I quiz him, hoping he has some kind of answer for me. He hesitates momentarily as if to ask me if I'm stupid for asking him this.
"You know Luke, I thought that's what you came here to tell me." Even though I'm his brother he's always hesitated to ask me for any kind of advice. "You call me spur-of-the-moment, tell me you're coming here and then you don't even have anything to offer?" He jumps up from the couch and heads toward the photos on the mantle. Isabella. Haley and Isabella just days after they brought her home from the hospital. Nathan and Isabella on the court after one of his home games. Nathan, Haley and Isabella at their first official family portrait, dressed to the nines in almost matching outfits.
"I'll help you Nathan. You know that. But I can't fix this for you. You got yourself into this mess and now you've got to get yourself out. But I will help you." I'm glad that I finally seem to have gotten through to my little brother. It has taken years, but it looks like I may finally have done it!
I pull him in to a tight hug. It's not the first but certainly seems more genuine than most have. I pull back, realizing he still is holding the ring box in his hand. "You planning on using that?"
He offers me a saddened smile. "She'll never accept this Luke. And honestly, she's be crazy to."
"No, Nathan. That's where you're wrong. That girl loves you will all she has to love. Even though you two have obviously been having some rough times, I think she'd take that ring without so much as a second thought..." I glance at him, his face still shocked from my revelation. "If I let her."
His face drops. "What the hell does that mean?"
"You've taken my best friend Nate and ruined her heart. That's not something you can do a second time easily." I hope he's getting my drift. "I know for a fact that Haley would take you back. But I'm not going to let you hurt her again. Something's got to change Nathan."
"Do you think I don't know that?" He fires back at me, his temper rising immediately. "Luke, I'd do anything in the world to take back what I did. But I can't. It's too late. And now, I just have to figure out how to make it right..." He pauses, his eyes immediately drawing a blank. "I just don't know how, Luke." His voice instantly falls. "You've gotta help me Luke."
We walk together into the kitchen, not speaking to each other. Opening the refrigerator, he reaches for two cokes and pulls a bag of chips off the counter, dumping them into a stray bowl. From the sight before me in the kitchen it's easy to see that he really has let his life fall apart since returning to Chicago. Empty beer bottles are strewn all over the counter. A half empty bottle of Tequila remains opened on the end of the counter near the sink. The lime to follow is turning brown from the incessant heat that permeates the house.
I take a deep breath, realizing that the situation is far worse than I'd previously thought. "I think rehab would probably be the place to start. Maybe a break from the team. Some counseling perhaps..." I take notice of the glance he's shooting at me and realize that he's ready to do whatever it takes to get his family back together as one.
"Hey..." I don't know what to say to him. Even though we're brothers, even though we've grown a lot closer than anyone expected over the years, there are still moments when words can not find either of us. He doesn't return the greeting, merely opening the door and pointing me in. I glance around the room. Pictures of Bella line the walls and the mantle about the fireplace. The playpen remains in its apparent corner. The toys remain scattered on the floor as they must have been left before the family reunion. The stroller is placed near the door in its folded up position and it's obvious that nothing has been touched since he's been home.
He catches my eyes wandering the room and speaks quietly. "I can't bring myself to do anything with it." His voice is quiet, calm almost, yet still very upset by the unfolding situation. "I keep thinking that if I try to ignore what's happening, it's somehow going to change." He sinks down on the couch, the blank look returning to his eyes. Emotionless.
"It's not going to change Nathan. Not unless you change." I have to be blunt with him. It's the only way he's going to get that through his thick head. He nods at me, not offering any insights as to what happened to them. "You gonna talk to me or what?" I prod, kind of turned off by the fact that I've traveled this far with no results.
"What do you want me to say?" He stares straight ahead, torn apart by the last few weeks. "My girlfriend left me. She took our daughter with her. I haven't even heard from them Luke. Not one word. I know I haven't been the perfect person. I'm probably as far from that as any one person can be, but it doesn't make me care any less." A sigh of relief washes over me. He's actually going to open up to me. He's starting to break down. I can see it in his eyes. "I can't lose them." He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a small black, velvet box and opens it up, immediately tearing up as he sees its contents. "I can't lose them, Luke."
I stand there in shock upon realizing what he's holding in his hand. I glance over at him and I stand up, moving beside him as he's still turned, facing me. The ring inside the box is delicate,. Just like Haley. "So what are you going to do about it?" I quiz him, hoping he has some kind of answer for me. He hesitates momentarily as if to ask me if I'm stupid for asking him this.
"You know Luke, I thought that's what you came here to tell me." Even though I'm his brother he's always hesitated to ask me for any kind of advice. "You call me spur-of-the-moment, tell me you're coming here and then you don't even have anything to offer?" He jumps up from the couch and heads toward the photos on the mantle. Isabella. Haley and Isabella just days after they brought her home from the hospital. Nathan and Isabella on the court after one of his home games. Nathan, Haley and Isabella at their first official family portrait, dressed to the nines in almost matching outfits.
"I'll help you Nathan. You know that. But I can't fix this for you. You got yourself into this mess and now you've got to get yourself out. But I will help you." I'm glad that I finally seem to have gotten through to my little brother. It has taken years, but it looks like I may finally have done it!
I pull him in to a tight hug. It's not the first but certainly seems more genuine than most have. I pull back, realizing he still is holding the ring box in his hand. "You planning on using that?"
He offers me a saddened smile. "She'll never accept this Luke. And honestly, she's be crazy to."
"No, Nathan. That's where you're wrong. That girl loves you will all she has to love. Even though you two have obviously been having some rough times, I think she'd take that ring without so much as a second thought..." I glance at him, his face still shocked from my revelation. "If I let her."
His face drops. "What the hell does that mean?"
"You've taken my best friend Nate and ruined her heart. That's not something you can do a second time easily." I hope he's getting my drift. "I know for a fact that Haley would take you back. But I'm not going to let you hurt her again. Something's got to change Nathan."
"Do you think I don't know that?" He fires back at me, his temper rising immediately. "Luke, I'd do anything in the world to take back what I did. But I can't. It's too late. And now, I just have to figure out how to make it right..." He pauses, his eyes immediately drawing a blank. "I just don't know how, Luke." His voice instantly falls. "You've gotta help me Luke."
We walk together into the kitchen, not speaking to each other. Opening the refrigerator, he reaches for two cokes and pulls a bag of chips off the counter, dumping them into a stray bowl. From the sight before me in the kitchen it's easy to see that he really has let his life fall apart since returning to Chicago. Empty beer bottles are strewn all over the counter. A half empty bottle of Tequila remains opened on the end of the counter near the sink. The lime to follow is turning brown from the incessant heat that permeates the house.
I take a deep breath, realizing that the situation is far worse than I'd previously thought. "I think rehab would probably be the place to start. Maybe a break from the team. Some counseling perhaps..." I take notice of the glance he's shooting at me and realize that he's ready to do whatever it takes to get his family back together as one.