Author's Notes: I'm not too good at the whole sad depressed thing, but I'm
going to give it a shot so bare with me this chapter maybe short. And a bit
sappy, and maybe depressing if I can give it that touch, but it may turn
out just corny. I used the poem 'Annabel Lee' because I thought it might be
mildly appropriate and I love Edgar Allan Poe.
Disclaimer: I make no claims to the Poem 'Annabel Lee' by Edgar Allan Poe. Unfortunately the excellent piece of literature belongs to him and only him.
************************************************************************** 'It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of ANNABEL LEE; And this maiden she lived with no other thought, Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child, In this kingdom by the sea, But we loved with a love that was more than love--- I and my ANNABEL LEE---With a love that the wingéd seraphs of Heaven Coveted her and me. --- From Edgar Allan Poe's 'Annabel Lee' **************************************************************************
Angel had no idea where he was going but he just had to go, to walk, to do something. Though the more he walked the more he thought about her. The more he thought about her, the bigger the lump grew in his throat and the harder it was for him to keep himself from crying. Buffy had meant more to him than anything ever had, even from the first moment he saw her, we wanted to help her, protect her, but he had failed in both departments. She was dead, and he too was dead, but not as dead as she was.
Buffy had been the one thing that had anchored him to humanity, he'd done more good ever since he'd met her than he'd done in his entire life and afterlife(so to speak). Sometimes he forgot how old she was when he was around her. Her eyes at times looked old, as if she'd seen too much for her age. He so badly had wanted to protect her from it, but in the end, he hadn't been able to protect her from anything. Buffy was the only woman he'd ever loved, Darla was just an obsession, as Angelus he hadn't felt love, and as Liam he had been a womanizer.
Angel stopped when he found he'd made his way to the docks of San Francisco. He continued walking until he came to the end of the pier and looked down into the water. She had been one of his only reasons for living, for fighting the good fight, she'd been the reason he'd started in the first place. From the day he'd seen her on the steps of her high school he knew she was going to have it rough and he wanted to help her. He had in some respects, but in the end, she'd died alone and he continued on. ************************************************************************** And This was the reason that long ago, In this kingdom by the sea, A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling My Beautiful ANNABEL LEE; So that her highborn kinsmen came And bore her away from me, To shut her up in a sepulchre In this kingdom by the sea.
The Angels, not half so happy in Heaven, went envying her and me:---Yes!--- that was the reason(as all men know, in this kingdom by the sea) That the wind came out of the cloud by night, chilling and killing my ANNABEL LEE.' --- From Edgar Allan Poe's 'Annabel Lee' **************************************************************************
Leo found it hard to search for Angel because he was dead, so he tried to search for his soul, which would have worked better if he'd known him better. He got the general area, but it was going to take a lot of walking to find him. He guessed that Angel was probably within about a thirty mile radius, more or less. Hopefully less.
Leo couldn't blame Angel for leaving, especially if he was the only sober one there. Though Leo would have appreciated it if he wouldn't have gone so far. Though Angel had seemed to be quieter than the rest of them, he wondered just how he was holding up. Leo again scanned the area, and got a clearer idea of where he was. He orbed to him, though when he looked at his new surroundings he paused. Not seeing him at first he started to scan the area again, but stopped when his eyes found Angel standing alone, staring into the water that was now lit by the recent appearance of the full moon, Even though the full moon was a little off schedule, they'd already had a full moon this month. ************************************************************************** 'But our love it was stronger by far than the love, Of those who are older than we---Of many far wiser than we---And neither the angels in Heaven above, Nor the demons down under the sea, Can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE.
'For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE; And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE:'--- from Edgar Allan Poe's 'Annabel Lee' **************************************************************************
Angel had heard Leo orb in behind him, but he didn't bother to turn and face him. He figured that Leo would make his way over to him eventually and he'd have to go back. He really didn't want to until they were sober.
Leo approached him cautiously, "Angel? Are you okay?"
Angel remained silent as he turned and faced him. Angel kept his face indifferent, or tried to anyway but somehow Leo knew that the face he put on was as much of a mask as his demon visage.
"I'm fine," Angel answered.
"No you're not," Leo concluded.
"No, I guess I'm not," Angel sighed, turning from him.
"Do want to talk about it?" Leo asked him.
"No," Angel said again.
"You know I lost four important people, My wife, My sisters in-law, and my son...we all lost somebody...but we can fix it Angel...the other elders say that, if we find the source of the evil then we can turn back time and prevent this from happening," Leo told him.
"I'm sorry," Angel said simply, before the rest of what he'd said registered, "What?"
"It's a long story that I only want to have to explain once, but I promise this can be fixed, and everyone that was lost won't be lost anymore if we fix this but, We need you, we need everyone," Leo told him.
Angel nodded, but for some reason he felt he could talk to this Leo guy, "Buffy was...everything to me, she was in a sense my soul, what anchored me to the side of good, my hope, my first and only love, I've been alive for 243 years and she is the only woman I've ever loved, but I couldn't even protect her...I'm not sure how much help I'd be to you guys."
"She was the slayer am I right?" Leo asked.
Angel nodded.
"It wasn't your job to protect her, your job was to fight at her side, on her side, and you did that, and you'll continue to do that, now and after we fix this problem, whether she's dead or not..." Leo told him firmly. Leo was the one who'd lost his charges, and his family. He was supposed to protect them even if he wasn't there official whitelighter anymore, if anyone had the right to feel useless it was Leo, but that would do little to improve Angel's mood so he kept it to himself. He kept a lot to himself lately for the sake of the others.
Angel remained silent still staring into the dark waters, full of debris from the apocalypse. Leo now stepped up beside him, now he didn't want to go back at this current moment in time either, so he mimicked what Angel was doing, which was staring into the water.
Angel knew Leo was right, but still, it should have been him and not her, it should never have to be her. ************************************************************************** 'And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side Of my darling---my darling---my life and my bride, In the sepulchre there by the sea---In her tomb by the sounding sea.'---From Edgar Allan Poe's 'Annabel Lee'
Disclaimer: I make no claims to the Poem 'Annabel Lee' by Edgar Allan Poe. Unfortunately the excellent piece of literature belongs to him and only him.
************************************************************************** 'It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of ANNABEL LEE; And this maiden she lived with no other thought, Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child, In this kingdom by the sea, But we loved with a love that was more than love--- I and my ANNABEL LEE---With a love that the wingéd seraphs of Heaven Coveted her and me. --- From Edgar Allan Poe's 'Annabel Lee' **************************************************************************
Angel had no idea where he was going but he just had to go, to walk, to do something. Though the more he walked the more he thought about her. The more he thought about her, the bigger the lump grew in his throat and the harder it was for him to keep himself from crying. Buffy had meant more to him than anything ever had, even from the first moment he saw her, we wanted to help her, protect her, but he had failed in both departments. She was dead, and he too was dead, but not as dead as she was.
Buffy had been the one thing that had anchored him to humanity, he'd done more good ever since he'd met her than he'd done in his entire life and afterlife(so to speak). Sometimes he forgot how old she was when he was around her. Her eyes at times looked old, as if she'd seen too much for her age. He so badly had wanted to protect her from it, but in the end, he hadn't been able to protect her from anything. Buffy was the only woman he'd ever loved, Darla was just an obsession, as Angelus he hadn't felt love, and as Liam he had been a womanizer.
Angel stopped when he found he'd made his way to the docks of San Francisco. He continued walking until he came to the end of the pier and looked down into the water. She had been one of his only reasons for living, for fighting the good fight, she'd been the reason he'd started in the first place. From the day he'd seen her on the steps of her high school he knew she was going to have it rough and he wanted to help her. He had in some respects, but in the end, she'd died alone and he continued on. ************************************************************************** And This was the reason that long ago, In this kingdom by the sea, A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling My Beautiful ANNABEL LEE; So that her highborn kinsmen came And bore her away from me, To shut her up in a sepulchre In this kingdom by the sea.
The Angels, not half so happy in Heaven, went envying her and me:---Yes!--- that was the reason(as all men know, in this kingdom by the sea) That the wind came out of the cloud by night, chilling and killing my ANNABEL LEE.' --- From Edgar Allan Poe's 'Annabel Lee' **************************************************************************
Leo found it hard to search for Angel because he was dead, so he tried to search for his soul, which would have worked better if he'd known him better. He got the general area, but it was going to take a lot of walking to find him. He guessed that Angel was probably within about a thirty mile radius, more or less. Hopefully less.
Leo couldn't blame Angel for leaving, especially if he was the only sober one there. Though Leo would have appreciated it if he wouldn't have gone so far. Though Angel had seemed to be quieter than the rest of them, he wondered just how he was holding up. Leo again scanned the area, and got a clearer idea of where he was. He orbed to him, though when he looked at his new surroundings he paused. Not seeing him at first he started to scan the area again, but stopped when his eyes found Angel standing alone, staring into the water that was now lit by the recent appearance of the full moon, Even though the full moon was a little off schedule, they'd already had a full moon this month. ************************************************************************** 'But our love it was stronger by far than the love, Of those who are older than we---Of many far wiser than we---And neither the angels in Heaven above, Nor the demons down under the sea, Can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE.
'For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE; And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE:'--- from Edgar Allan Poe's 'Annabel Lee' **************************************************************************
Angel had heard Leo orb in behind him, but he didn't bother to turn and face him. He figured that Leo would make his way over to him eventually and he'd have to go back. He really didn't want to until they were sober.
Leo approached him cautiously, "Angel? Are you okay?"
Angel remained silent as he turned and faced him. Angel kept his face indifferent, or tried to anyway but somehow Leo knew that the face he put on was as much of a mask as his demon visage.
"I'm fine," Angel answered.
"No you're not," Leo concluded.
"No, I guess I'm not," Angel sighed, turning from him.
"Do want to talk about it?" Leo asked him.
"No," Angel said again.
"You know I lost four important people, My wife, My sisters in-law, and my son...we all lost somebody...but we can fix it Angel...the other elders say that, if we find the source of the evil then we can turn back time and prevent this from happening," Leo told him.
"I'm sorry," Angel said simply, before the rest of what he'd said registered, "What?"
"It's a long story that I only want to have to explain once, but I promise this can be fixed, and everyone that was lost won't be lost anymore if we fix this but, We need you, we need everyone," Leo told him.
Angel nodded, but for some reason he felt he could talk to this Leo guy, "Buffy was...everything to me, she was in a sense my soul, what anchored me to the side of good, my hope, my first and only love, I've been alive for 243 years and she is the only woman I've ever loved, but I couldn't even protect her...I'm not sure how much help I'd be to you guys."
"She was the slayer am I right?" Leo asked.
Angel nodded.
"It wasn't your job to protect her, your job was to fight at her side, on her side, and you did that, and you'll continue to do that, now and after we fix this problem, whether she's dead or not..." Leo told him firmly. Leo was the one who'd lost his charges, and his family. He was supposed to protect them even if he wasn't there official whitelighter anymore, if anyone had the right to feel useless it was Leo, but that would do little to improve Angel's mood so he kept it to himself. He kept a lot to himself lately for the sake of the others.
Angel remained silent still staring into the dark waters, full of debris from the apocalypse. Leo now stepped up beside him, now he didn't want to go back at this current moment in time either, so he mimicked what Angel was doing, which was staring into the water.
Angel knew Leo was right, but still, it should have been him and not her, it should never have to be her. ************************************************************************** 'And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side Of my darling---my darling---my life and my bride, In the sepulchre there by the sea---In her tomb by the sounding sea.'---From Edgar Allan Poe's 'Annabel Lee'