Chapter 2 – What is love?
"What?!" she demanded, "What do you mean leaving for good?!"
Curling in on himself a bit at her tone, he explained, "I've been recalled. Someone else will be guarding you starting seven days from now. It'll be at least throughout your college years." His stomach knotted as he told her and it caused him to pause before muttering, "I won't be bothering you or breaking in anymore, " and pitifully struggled to suppress his feelings.
Blinking a few times, trying to take this in, Kaname slowly walked over to Sousuke. "But...but..." is all she could lamely say.
She plopped down on the large couch beside him, tucked her legs up, clasping her arms around them as they sat in silence. When she gathered her composure again, Kaname knew it probably wasn't any use but pouted anyway, "I don't want anyone else to guard me". Tears streamed down her face after her confession and she buried her head in his shoulder. Uncomfortably, he put an arm around her shoulder. Looking up, she questioned, "Is it what you want? Do you want to go?"
Swallowing, he considered. Did he want to go? Since when did he think about what HE wanted? For 2 years now, his only concern had been protecting Kaname. At first, he was horribly uncomfortable with protecting her. But now, he was forced to leave. He'd grown to like her, to be friends with her, to trust her - saw her almost everyday. What would he do now that she wouldn't be the center of his life? Could he just go back to completing other tasks as assigned? She'd changed him, but just how much – he couldn't tell.
Glaring at him and growing annoyed at waiting for an answer, she challenged, "Well?! Do you or don't you?" Kaname's thoughts instantly raced to Tessa. Maybe he wants to be around her again?
Feeling more uncomfortable than ever and not able to meet Kaname's eyes, he whispered, "No."
Relief flooded in and Kaname ruffled his hair. Teasing him a bit with military lingo, she said, "Well, soldier you're really sick. Your current orders are to rest, until ordered otherwise. We'll talk more in the morning." He started to get up, but she held him down. Grabbing the blankets and pillow off his cot, she rummaged for some ibuprofen. Too sick to disagree anymore, he allowed her to tuck him in on the couch. She sat down on the floor beside him. In no time, he was snoring quietly.
"Poor Sousuke – they put him in a situation then snatch him out of it with no thought to what he wants. He always does what they tell him. What will it get him in the end?" she pondered. Looking around his apartment, her eyes struck on the communications equipment and an idea formed.
...
After implementing her plan as discreetly as possible, she made some soup and began to feel the late hour. Sleepily she eyed the blanket-less cot. Well, that option was out. 'Mr. Efficient Sousuke' kept his apartment at a minimum temperature. She wasn't used to that at all – and really didn't want to freeze tonight. Spying a small space between Sousuke and the back of the couch, she wondered - did she dare sneak into that space and sleep next to him?
YES – before her chance was gone. Carefully crawling in beside him, pulling the blanket up over both of them, she inched her arm around him. Barely even stirring, he was oblivious as she crawled in with him. His fever still hadn't gone down and she felt arms tensing and relaxing in a dream. Suddenly he jerked in his sleep and screamed at the top of his lungs, "No! Kaname!"
Holding more tightly, she whispered, "I'm here. It's ok Sousuke."
Instant relaxation. But then realization dawned and he bolted up, then scrambled away startled – hitting her nose hard with his elbow before falling off the couch ungracefully. THUD! Looking up at her wild eyed he stumbled over his words, "Kaname? What...what are you doing here...next...to...me?"
Holding her throbbing nose, hoping it wouldn't start bleeding she waited to explain until the pain subsided. Through her hands, her words were muffled, "There was no where else to sleep without freezing and I didn't want to leave you alone because your temp is still high. That reason enough?"
Beet red - head to toe from the fever, the startling realization that she had been lying with him and the fact that he just smacked her in the nose, he was ready for the halisen slap. But this time it didn't come. Meekly he queried, "I'm sorry about your nose – are you ok?" As her nose began to stop stinging, she giggled as he peeled her hands away, "Sorry for startling you."
Muffling several more giggles, she gave up to let out a big laugh, while holding his hand with her own.
Sousuke shook his head. He may never understand girls – just what was so funny?
Playing with his hair again, she teased him with an evil little twinkle in her eye, "I've never seen you move so fast! Am I that scary here in the dark?"
"Uhh...no," he looked down at the floor, "I won't do it again."
Grinning like a Cheshire cat she prodded, "What did you mean by that?" Then switching to take pity on him, she added, "Go ahead and tell me what you're thinking. I forgot the halisen at home..."
That brought him a bit of comfort, but he couldn't put words to his thoughts quite yet.
In a more serious tone she said, "Maybe I should go home. I'm disturbing you, instead of letting you rest. Should I check on you in the morning?"
"NO!" he commanded, surprising himself with the force of his words. Unsure of quite what to say next, he kept his gaze on the floor as he forced the feelings to congeal into words, "Please, stay – just like we were. I've never..." He stumbled, thoughts were fuzzy and if he crossed this line there wasn't any going back. Hell, it's not like he'd be here long anyway. "For once, I had what I wanted."
How could she not smile after a confession like that? He'd never spoken so much about anything but military stuff before. The dare had been worth the assault on her nose. "Just for tonight," she murmured as she felt his forehead again. His fever was down a bit. Sighing with relief, she glanced at the glow in the dark clock. 3 A. M. He could have medicine again.
As she got up to get it, he followed her every move highlighted by the silver moonlight that poured into one of the apartment windows. As she returned with the meds and a glass of water, his mind turned over her actions. No one had ever been this kind to him. People were always seeing what they could get from him – what skills he had that they could use. He lived to do others bidding, to obey and to kill on command. More deaths then he cared to count. For the first time – someone actually was caring for him beyond military companionship. Granted those relationships run deep and he'd lost many comrades he cared about – but this was different. Slowly his feelings were piecing together and he could try to understand hers.
Feeling very awkward, they climbed back onto the couch together without a plan of who would be where, and were a bit of a jumble with Kaname on top of him for a moment – blushing profusely. Her red cheeks were even visible in the moonlight.
Then her old spirit kicked in. "Hey! Make up your mind and scoot over!" she demanded.
He ended up lying on his back with an arm around her, while she lay on her side with her head on his shoulder and her arm around him. Taking in all the sensations of her next to him, he hugged her more tightly. He'd never felt so satisfied - so at peace. More thoughts swirled in Sousuke's head. Was this what love was like? If Kurz and Melissa ever found out about this – would they tease Sousuke for not knowing what to do? For fumbling with his words? For being too sick to even kiss her? Cripes, he really wanted to. He wasn't going to let this opportunity pass, fever or not!
Turning, he placed a small kiss on the top of her head and lingered there, causing her to respond by snuggling in even closer. He lay awake for quite a while just reveling in the wonder of being near her, watching her breathe and her hair softly move with each breath. It was hard to believe the moment was real. Finally sleep overtook the soldier and this time his dreams were peaceful – without a weapon under his pillow.
- Well – this is the moosh I had needed to see at the end of both seasons. The shoujo side of me said it was going to blow it's brains out at the end of season 2. So I'm making up for the moosh I wanted to see. ( Is it too mooshy for y'all? Did I miss the characters on this chapter? I was a bit nervous about this chapter – rewrote it several times today. (Can you tell I'm home sick today?) Let me know what you think. Constructive criticism/reviews very appreciated.
(Thanks for the reviews so far – I've implemented a few of the ideas from y'all and my hubby. Hope the changes are what ya' intended. .)
2nd update – inserted name of pistol.