A/N: This is it, the final chapter to The Reason. As I said before, I appreciate all the feedback you guys have provided me with. Without further ado, I present you, The Reason, the meaning behind the title and hopefully an ending in which you can take and use your imagination to come up with the perfect ending of your own...
I stand on the front porch on the front porch of Brooke and Luke's house. I remind myself silently that I'm ready to do this. I'm ready to confront my future. Lucas stayed with me for almost two weeks in Chicago, working out the last minute details of my sudden departure from the team. He helped me list the house for sale and pack up all our belongings. Together, we rented a U-Haul van and loaded it all up. All of our belongings are in a new house, a house for Haley and Bella. I've been staying in a motel until I sign in to rehab tomorrow morning.
We've been back in Tree Hill now for almost a week and the entire time I've been questioning my decision and whether or not I'm really doing the right thing. I take one last deep breath before lifting the knocker on the door and releasing it. The sight before me as the door opens takes my breath away. She's just as gorgeous as I remember. Gorgeous in her simple way that has always taken me by surprise. "You ready?" The air between us seems filled with an awkwardness, a silence we'd both like to have disappear into thin air.
"Yeah." She shuts the door behind her and I'm glad I didn't have to confront Luke or Brooke then too. It would have been too much to handle.
"I turned down the offer in Chicago." I tell my wife once we've got both Nicholas and Isabella settled in to bed for the night. "It's not right Brooke. Not for us." She stares at me with a blank expression written all over her face. "After watching Haley and Nathan, I don't want anything to come between us. My job here is enough. Anything in Chicago is just going to take away from the time I have to spend with you and Nicky."
Her eyes fill with tears. "You're really doing that for us?" She was never to keen on the idea of moving to Chicago to begin with. As much as she likes the hubbub of activity that the city provides, she prefers the quite, calm life of Tree Hill. She's told me numerous times it's the perfect place to raise children.
"I'm really doing that for us." I assure her as I draw her into my body, seeking comfort in her touch. "You and Nicky mean the world to me. I don't want to jeopardize that. Besides, the rest of our family is here."
I sit across from Haley, making sure I give her the proper treatment she's been neglected of these past few months. We ate our meal in the existent silence, words not coming easily for either of us. The minimal conversation that did exist consisted of Bella. As the last of our plates are removed from the table and the coffee is brought to us, I decide it's now or never.
I reach across the table and take her stiff hands in mine, hoping that she'll soften up, come to remember the touch we once shared. "Hales. I'm sorry about the last few months. I'm not a perfect person. I never have been." I stare at her, almost upset by the silence and the look I'm receiving in return. Couldn't she show some kind of emotion? Doesn't she realize how hard this is for me to do?. She sits there, staring straight at me, yet acting as though what I'm saying is just traveling in one ear and out the other.
"I've done some things I wish I'd never done. To me. To you. To Bella. I can't take them back Haley. All I can do is keep learning from my mistakes and try to make myself a better person because of them." I pause momentarily, trying to find the right words and make them come out in a way that makes sense to her, in a way that makes her realize they aren't just words.
"I know you'll never forget what I've done in the past but I want you to know I never intended to hurt you as badly as I did. I've been going through some rough times Haley and I never should have taken it out on you." What's coming next is the hardest part of all. I hope she'll understand why I'm doing what I'm going to do, understand that I'm trying to make some changes so that things can be right between us again.
"Luke has helped me change my path Hales. He's helped me enroll in a rehab program, alcohol, abuse, some counseling. I'm going to leave you and Bella for now. So I can get back on track with my life and become the man you once knew me to be. But I wanted you to know this before I go." I squeeze her hands as I see the tears forming in her eyes once more. The tears that I know I've caused.
"I've found a reason to change Haley. To change who I used to be. To change back to the person you once knew and loved so much." When I look up to the love of my life I take notice of the glance that is capable of asking, what, what is the reason?. "You're the reason."
That same glance returns- the one that leaves her emotionless. The one that makes me think all of her previous feelings towards me have been lost. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm going to live every day of my life living with that, the knowing that I hurt the most important thing in the world to me. I wish I could make it all disappear. I want to be the one who can catch all your tears. I want to be the one there for you everyday for the rest of our lives." I reach in to the pocket of my suit jacket and pull out the small velvet box. Not the same one I showed Nathan. That one is stored away in the back of my dresser drawer. Waiting for a day when I can give it to her and give her the whole world. I open the box and slip the small silver ring from inside.
She gasps from across the table but otherwise the blank expression remains. "It's not what you think Haley. We're no where near ready for that. Someday, hopefully, you can forgive me. Hopefully, someday we can move on and be together like we used to be. But for now, I just want you to know, you're my reason for making a change." I hold the ring out to her, letting her examine it. Letting her examine the inscription. The Reason. "It's merely a promise Haley. I'm going to change. And if you can't forgive, I understand. I do, really." She takes the ring from me, offering a tiny smile as she slides it on to her finger.
"I love you Nathan. I always have and a part of me always will. But I can't make you any promises. You've hurt me too much. But I'll try too, okay?" With that, her meaningful words, I stand and move to her side of
the table and take her in my arms, once again experiencing that loving,
warm hug we used to be able to share so freely.
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
COMING SOON...
High school graduates Nathan Scott and Haley James have never failed to surprise their classmates. Their from-the-beginning doomed relationship has overcome every obstacle placed in front of them- the best-friend/half- brother, the internet pornography, junior prom, basketball season and tutoring sessions. Once again their relationship hits another bump in the road, this time putting them to the ultimate test. As Nathan's extremely low grades prevent him from gaining a full scholarship to college, he has to make the hardest decision of his life. What will his future hold? Deciding to join the Marines, Haley and Nathan must overcome tough times. Follow them through their next adventures in life, in Letters from Home, coming soon!