The Inner Heart

A feeling she could not quite comprehend. It lingered on the outskirts of her mind, an intangible memory. Something she had forgotten, and emotion she could barely remember. Guilt.

It wasn't enough to make her consciousness heavy. It was barely enough to remind her. Still, it was there, ever-fleeting. It sometimes was manifest when their eyes met. That's when it was strongest. When she looked into his blindly adoring eyes. There was not internal struggle. There was no confusion. Only love. And that made the guilt weight more heavily.

Something I had always loved about him was his sincerity. Something that I had always loved about him was his honesty. I have taken that away with my own tow hands. I have forced him to lie not only to me, but to himself as well.

Second guessing herself and guilt. Feeling form her living existence revived once again in this shell of a body mad of earth and bones. It was strange. Here we was, caught, unwilling to die, unable to live and move on. Her only feeling should be the bitter hatred that she had dies knowing. A bitter hatred, the opposite side of the coin of love that they had once shared together.

Or was it the opposite?

At any rate, it had been a fatal mistake.

But now there were only those remnants of hate. The faint feeling of guilt and overwhelming jealousy and loneliness.

I shouldn't be doing this, she chided herself mentally, there is no reason for this. By doing actions, by committing these crimes, by playing with peoples hearts like this I prove that I am no better than Naraku. This is…this is making me hate myself.

but...

It was so lonely there. It was strange and unreal, and all I could think of was him. But I didn't want to come back, and now I have. I don't want to be lonely again. Not now, and not now that I'm here with him again. I had forgotten how to fell. If you're going to force me to feel again, then don't let me be lonely. Please, don't let me be lonely!

It was a silent plea sent out into the empty night sky. It was a result of her wavering resolve. Her fear. The fear of her loneliness. She couldn't do it again. The love wasn't there any longer, but just as she had thought, she couldn't bring herself to give him to her. To the woman who looked so much like her. To the woman to had all that she ever wanted. She couldn't let herself do it. But…still…

Still it was there. That little bit of guilt.

I'm still slightly insecure. I know what I'm doing is wrong.

Indeed it's still there, and it's eating me away inside…

little by little…

The resolve began to waver. Ina single instant she was willing to remove the curse. If his empty eyes had looked her just then, she could have lost all control. She would have broken down and wept, then fallen into the abyss of hell alone. But he didn't. he kept his faze averted, and Kikyou allowed jealousy to swallow her once again.

Is was so much easier than thinking

An almost ominous cloud hung around not only his abode, but his being as well. Slowly but surely it had been growing. A steady thing called "lust" had been growing inside the vestiges of his heart, cause him to become reckless. Kagura's death had been a result of his recklessness. She had still be useful. A pity. And ironic as well. An irony that he failed to see.

It hardly bothered him. It had been a pity, but it was a trifling pity. It was the same kind of pity he would feel if one of his Saimyoushou had gotten sucked into that annoying houshi's kazaana. She had been a pawn. Merely a pawn, with no more value than that. She would always have been a pawn too, much like the boy kneeling before him. Only a pawn. However, a powerful pawn that could be used against enemies. With a slight smile he gave the animated corpse the cruel task. He had asked once if the boy could kill them. He had responded with a "yes". Naraku still did not doubt the verity of his reply.

Humans were amusing in the fact that they were continuously unwilling to harm their kin, no matter how many times their kin tried to harm them, he thought with and amused smirk .

His amused smirk transformed into a cruel and sadistic smile as he watched the boy go. Reckless yes, but well worth it.

Not quite sure what to think, the animated corpse walked silently through the forest. There was a shadow of doubt in his mind. He didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't really want to do this any more…

Still…

There were always those frightening shadows that threatened to attack him if he was not cautious. The shadows of memories…

"Aneue…"

A word whispered into the night as he began to prepare for the grim task before him.

Well, I'm sorry it took so long to post this. Anyway, I'm going to beg shamelessly and say…Please read. Please review. Even flames. I just want feedback!

Thank you to all of you who reviewed so far!