Choices To Make

Still slumped in a limp position with his back to the tree, he watched her retreating back with a smile on his face. Another day, another deed, another distance. Words had gone from force of habit to a chore. He said hurtful things to her, this he knew. He also knew that those hurtful words had cost him just has much. Why was fate so cruel?

Every word he had spoken had been deliberate. Every word chosen with a cold computation he was beginning to develop. Words had so many purposes, and one of them was to wound. That's what he was doing, wounding the one he loved, because, after all, the kazaana was getting wider.

He watched the sunset through the thick foliage, lost in introspection. He was beginning to weaken. Hurtful words that had come so easily to his lips before now had to be forced out. He hated it. He hated looking at her perpetually melancholy eyes. He wanted to see her smile. Hell, he wanted to take her in his arms and declare his undying love for her, but that was not an option. He didn't want her to hurt. He didn't want to see her cry. If she cried, he didn't know what he would do. When had this happened? When had their simple love invaded him, twining a vine of thorns around his already tender heart. When had he become infatuated with her? Her every breath was important to him, and the overwhelming wish for her to be happy. That's why he said those words that hurt her so much. He would rather die alone than see her cry. He would rather throw his life away recklessly than see tears in those eyes that were already so very sad. That's how much she meant to him. That's why they could never be together as long as he had this kazaana in his hand.

The trees began to sway gentle in the evening breeze and Miroku heard a rustling of leaves to his left. Quickly he got up from his drooping pose and prepared himself to attack. Adrenaline began to rush through his veins until he noticed some muffled words coming from the direction of the bush. Muffled words, yes, but in a feminine voice. Excitedly he jumped up and ran over to the bush, only to find one of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. A very beautiful, very naked woman.

She looked up in surprise, and her dark eyes registered him with shock, but instead to screaming or making an attempt to hit him she merely blushed. "Um, houshi-sama, it seems as if my kimono is caught in this bush, might you assist me?"

Amazed at his good fortune, and swallowing his pride, he merely muttered, "o-of course." He reached down to untangle the richly embroidered kimono and their eyes met.

Time seemed to stand still for a moment, until she uttered words he'd never thought he'd ever hear from a woman other than Sango.

"May I bear your children?

She resisted the urge to scream at Inuyasha. She was losing her composure.

Every word Miroku had spoken to him she had heard. Ever word had seemed to pierce her heart. She had lost the stomach for this deed, this crime. She no longer had the desire to hold him in her control. If she could have, she would have released him. No matter how much she lied to herself, she realized, she still loved him.

It had been a gradual realization. Simple really. It had occurred the last time when had looked at her with those blindly adoring amber eyes. It had made her want to retch. She was sure, at that moment, that she did not want to see him as he was anymore. She would have preferred to see him living happily in Kagome's life than to see him as nothing but a doll with her. It hurt. Slowly, it was coming back. Hurt, love, forgiveness. She wasn't sure why, but it was coming back. She wanted him to be happy, but now the spell was irreversible.

Well, almost irreversible.

She looked at the knife in a kind of sick curiosity. It's the only way, she thought, glancing at the razor sharp blade. It was my fault, and I should pay for the consequences. I should end it here, and give him his freedom. I should.

How many times am I going to die for this hanyou, for this love?

As many times as necessary. She thought wryly.

She brought the knife forward, dead center on her heart, without any hesitation at all and a grim smile on her face.

Sitting in the village with Shippou and Kirara curled up next to her Sango was having a hard time thinking.

Thoughts ran rampant and unchecked, driving her to confusion. Slowly she organized them. Three thoughts.

Kohaku

That's what Kagura had said. Kohaku was coming. Kohaku was coming to kill them. Kohaku was coming to end it all, at last. It was now, without the ever-simple sounds of Miroku being near that it hit her. He really was coming.

The thought that Kagura was lying had never occurred to her. She knew, in her very bones, that it was the truth. She hadn't wanted to admit it, but it was the truth. The air seemed to hang with an ominous foreboding. She looked at the sleeping pair, curled up and content.

No, she knew she couldn't do it.

She couldn't stay there and them see her die at his hands, at Kohaku's hands.

She recalled the resolution she had made the night before. Anything for Miroku, but…but…there was something strange inside her, telling her to go, telling her to die.

Indecision consumed her.

Faded memories tugged at his ragged consciousness. He knew that she was coming. He knew it. He knew it so well, it made him want to run away in fear. She unnerved him, made him self conscious. She brought back ghosts of memories he would rather forget. A woman with sad eyes and an unsmiling face that held him close and called him something familiar.

Aneue…

Memories, he wanted to remember, and yet he didn't want to. He stood in the middle of the forest, filled with doubt.

He hated feeling lost.

He looked dispassionately at her mangled corpse. Mangled, almost beyond recognition. It had been pathetic, really. He had expected her to be stronger than that.

Kagura, you always were a disappointment, Naraku thought with a twisted grimace.

The cold stones of this castle whispered grim songs beneath his bare feet as he paced back and forth before her distorted preserved corpse. It was almost time.

It could be time now. To act, or to wait?

She awoke from her sleep groggily. How long had it been?

A pang hit her in her heart, so hard that she wanted to fall down on the ground and weep. So many things. Tears flooded to her eyes anew, the pain she felt was like a raw wound.

Still…

She gathered herself, and began to examine her surroundings. Her eyes widened as she noticed something familiar.

The old well, which held so many memories, both pleasant and sad.

She went over and sat on it's aged rim.

There will be no more pleasant memories for me here, she thought grimly. I might as well go back

She cast a miserable glance at the bottome of the well.

I might as well go back…

…but…

…do I really wantto?

Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine

Reviews:

Erste: My faithful friend, you deserve to be mentioned. Thank you for reviewing my fics almost religiously and for giving me encouragement! I'm hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

Ixion Goddess: You deserve and award for all of the positive feed back. Well, here's at least quasi what happened to Kagome. It all may or may not work out in the end. I must admit, though, that Naraku's lust is rather one-sided, erm, well, you'll see (shh, it's a surprise!) Thank you so much, though!

Author's Note: So, I tried to make it suspenseful. Did I succeed? I hope so. Anyway, the next chapter is written, so I'll be posting it very soon. The plot may be going an unpleasant direction. Let's just say that the pairings are pretty much canon. I've got the whole thing planned out. Please read and review, you have no idea how much I appreciate it.