Chapter 6 - Love is a Pain

The last day passed too quickly... Sousuke's Tuesday 0700 departure had arrived.

He only let himself look back once, while she could see him. But after takeoff, he was unable to look away from the door, trying to will it away so he could reach out for her. Putting her hand on Sousuke's shoulder, Melissa knew leaving Kaname today was one of the hardest things Sousuke would ever do. Fate had played an especially cruel trick on him – as soon as he realized love, he had to leave unsure when he'd return.

When words came to him – he mused out loud, "She wore the bracelet today. I had given it to her just after we met, so I could track her if I needed. Me tracking her appalled her then. Never thought she'd wear it."

Kurz attempted to lighten the situation, the down mood started to get to him. "Well, my boy, you know that girl – if you don't return soon, she'll hunt you down and pummel you with that halisen of hers." The jest had the effect of a water balloon on the metal wall around Sousuke. Melissa groaned. The six hour flight to the meeting with Captain Testarossa, just got longer.

...

Tapping his past experiences, the sergeant forced himself to refocus. A soldier can't let himself be overpowered by leaving someone behind. He had to keep looking forward, because the core of who he was hadn't changed.

...

Saluting as he walked into Captain Testarossa's office, he didn't waste time. "Thank you Captain, for allowing me to meet with you about reassignment." A curt nod pricked his intuition that she wasn't thrilled.

Direct was likely the best way to proceed and get this over with, so he laid it out, "I want to be the one to protect Chidori Kaname. What will it take to be reassigned to protect her?"

"It's not possible. That's already been decided. It's out of our hands," she brusquely denied.

"When I was reassigned to her last time, after the plane hijacking incident – it was no problem. Why is it different this time? I am her insurance and am finally starting to think about my future," he declared.

Never had he been this pushy before. In the past, he'd go about his orders, never showing like or dislike - just obeyed. Why was he behaving so differently? Was it true he had fallen for Kaname? Thoughts surfaced of when she took a vacation and visited Sousuke's school.

Taking a big breath, she gained momentum putting her petite hands squarely on her desk and raising the volume in her voice several notches, "You weren't in Japan to build a relationship soldier! This was not a paid holiday for you to go dating Miss Chidori! You have been given a promotion and a choice assignment. Can't you appreciate one so tailored to your talents?" Her anger had peaked and she felt tired from it already. What she said was harsh, and it probably showed more about her own feelings than she wanted. No time to take it back now.

"Understood, Captain," he stated through gritted teeth, carefully keeping his eyes on the floor. Every muscle in his body was tense as he continued, "My tour of duty is up in three weeks. It may be time for me to think about my future outside of Mithril."

A gasp escaped Tessa's lips. With new anger building, she rebutted in the only way she could think of without going off on him again, "You're dismissed Sergeant!"

He saluted, overstating the whole gesture. Tessa returned it halfheartedly as he left the room. So it was true, her head dropped and tears began to fall on her desk. This feeling of helplessness tortured her far too often.

...

Later that day, Tessa hunted Sousuke down. She'd attacked him because she'd been jealous and it nagged at her. "Sergeant Sagara!" she called down the hall.

He turned around to see what she wanted, "Yes, Captain?"

"I owe you an apology for my outburst today. I'm sorry." She couldn't bring herself to admit to him why it happened. But she was apologizing and that's what counted. Meekly she added, "I'll do what I can. I know it means a lot to you. Though, I truly don't know if we can change it. Sure the promotion can be turned down, but we really need your experience training new AS pilots. And someone else has already been assigned to Miss Chidori, it is felt the risk for her is minimal now."

He nodded. "Thank you, Captain. Permission to speak freely?"

She nodded affirmation, and he confided, "You're stronger than you think you are."

Turning, she walked down the hallway to the bridge with confidence and grace in her step.

...

Sousuke made a beeline to the range. He was STILL edgy, and target practice usually helped him focus. Nodding acknowledgement to Kurz, Sousuke took the lane beside him. As he was just about ready to fire, a few other soldiers walked in. Seeing Sousuke, they chuckled to themselves, "Hey look at that! Sagara's back. I heard he had a whole two years guarding some hot chick in high school and didn't make a single move. Bet he's too socially clueless to even have kissed one of those cute gals and he was surrounded by them!"

Sousuke's eyes narrowed as he brooded to himself, "Do they think I can't hear them with this headset on?" Granted, he was used to getting guff for being the straight man, but today it finally got to him. Squeezing the trigger several times, he hit the silhouette target directly in the forehead every time. Meanwhile Kurz coughed hard several times, to try to overcome his laughing fit.

Peeking around the corner when Sousuke retrieved his target, the blonde flashed a huge grin and conspiratorially whispered, "Hey little Bro, those guys think they have you pegged. But WE know better." His eyes widened and he whistled as he saw how close the pattern on the paper target was, "You're an even better shot when you're angry. Man, you are SCARY sometimes!"

Shrugging, Sousuke was about to pack up, when Kurz pulled a picture out of his pocket and handed it to him. "This was the ID shot I had of Chidori in Japan. She was a few years younger, but I thought you might want it."

Sousuke nodded and accepted gratefully. "The Sergeant Major won't have to buy you a beer tonight, I will."

...

Two days later...

Tessa was just leaving the teleconference with Rear Admiral Hover at Headquarters. He'd been the one who had signed Sousuke's original reassignment and promotion to Staff Sergeant. Keeping her promise wasn't easy and the meeting didn't go well. She spotted Melissa, "Sergeant Major Mao, please, have Sergeant Sagara meet me in my office in ten minutes." Melissa saluted, before heading in the direction she thought he would most likely be.

...

When he ran into Kurz, Sousuke had just returned from Tessa's office.

"Man, you look like you could use a beer – even more sullen than usual. Why don't I buy you a drink this time?" Kurz suggested as he put his hand on Sousuke's shoulder to lead him to the bar.

Sousuke unloaded on Kurz, telling him about Tessa's efforts and how they wanted to promote him to Staff Sergeant and have him train AS pilots.

Kurz inquired, "Well, little Bro, what now?"

"I'm turning in my resignation tomorrow. My tour lasts only 2 weeks, 4 days and 3 hours more," Sousuke confessed.

Beer spewed out of Kurz's mouth, all over the table and Sousuke. "What? You? A civilian?" Kurz's laughing hysterics were stopped by Sousuke's unflinching stare. "You mean you're SERIOUS?"

"Aren't I always?"

"I mean... it will do you good to be in the real world for a while. But ...Wait a minute...You and Kaname did it. Didn't you? Otherwise, you wouldn't be throwing away the only life you've ever known to go somewhere you really don't fit in... just for her." Kurz gave an exaggerated wink, thinking he'd figured it out.

Rising indignantly, Sousuke's stare bored into Kurz - who put his hands up in surrender. Remembering his swollen jaw from Sunday, Kurz relented, "I'm just surprised, that's all."

"I need to call her before it gets too late and I need to change," Sousuke managed as he left his comrade gaping.

Update – reworded what Sousuke says to Tessa in their meeting on this assignment. It had been bugging me for a while.