Author's note:
I tried to check beforehand to see if anyone else had a fic like this, but I didn't see any. If I somehow missed you, go ahead and contact me.
I own nothing.
It was another frigid day during the winter holidays at Hogwarts. All four marauders and Lily Evans were sitting in the Gryffindor common room by themselves, as they were the only Gryffindors staying over the holidays.
To pass the time, Lily had taken a Muggle newspaper that had been sent to her from her parents and was trying to read it. However, this was difficult because the marauders had each taken sections of the paper and were reading, frequently snorting with laughter at things such as Muggle political issues, comics, and advertisements.
"Look at this!" James exclaimed. "For Sale: Telephone, just like new! Very cheap. Call 345-9876 for more information. Why would you want to buy a used fellytone?!" James dissolved into hopeless giggles with Remus and Peter.
"Can you believe that Padfoot?" James asked Sirius, but got no answer.
"Padfoot? What are you reading?"
"I'm not sure," Sirius answered. "From what I can tell, it's something where Muggles write in their problems to some other Muggle, who tells them what to do."
"Why can't they just figure it out themselves?" Peter asked blatantly.
James, Remus, and Lily just rolled their eyes and turned back to Sirius.
"You guys," Sirius said. "I could do this. I mean, I think I could be good at this type of thing, and--"
Sirius was forced to stop because of a loud snort coming from James.
"You!" he said. "Give advice? To other people?"
"He does have a point, Sirius," added Lily. "Giving advice isn't as easy as it may seem. You really have to think about the possible outcome of a situation, you can't just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind."
"I can too do it," replied Sirius stubbornly.
"Sirius," Remus tried, "even if you could do an advice column, how would you publish it? I seriously doubt the Daily Prophet would publish, well, you."
"I know," said James, finally rising from his hysterics. "Isn't there a school paper? You know that only the Ravenclaws read and everyone uses for spit wads and paper airplanes?"
"It's called the Hogwarts Times, thank you very much," said Remus heatedly. "And I believe they are looking for a new column."
"Wicked!" Sirius yelled excitedly. "I'll be back when I have an advice column," he yelled on his way through the portrait hole.
"I feel sorry for Hogwarts," said Lily.
"I feel sorry for Padfoot if he doesn't get the column. Then I'll feel sorry for Hogwarts," James added slyly.
"When do you think we'll find out if he gets the column?" asked Peter.
"Well, firstly, Padfoot has to find out where to go to ask," said Remus as the portrait hole opened, revealing a miffed looking Sirius.
"Where's the bloody editor at?" Sirius asked Remus.
"Go down to the second corridor, across from the staff room, third door on the left. You can't miss it," Remus replied.
"Thanks," said Sirius as he turned to leave yet again.
Author's note:
Well, it wasn't supposed to be a real "Sirius" fic, but oh well. Stay tuned next time to see if Sirius gets an advice column or not. *Dramatic music* Dun dun dun! If you have any suggestions for Hogwarts student problems, (should Sirius get a column) go ahead and tell me. Oh. And I know the fellytone thing is pretty lame, but I couldn't think of anything else. Besides, fellytone is a cool word. Hope you enjoyed!
Sturgis Podmore
I tried to check beforehand to see if anyone else had a fic like this, but I didn't see any. If I somehow missed you, go ahead and contact me.
I own nothing.
It was another frigid day during the winter holidays at Hogwarts. All four marauders and Lily Evans were sitting in the Gryffindor common room by themselves, as they were the only Gryffindors staying over the holidays.
To pass the time, Lily had taken a Muggle newspaper that had been sent to her from her parents and was trying to read it. However, this was difficult because the marauders had each taken sections of the paper and were reading, frequently snorting with laughter at things such as Muggle political issues, comics, and advertisements.
"Look at this!" James exclaimed. "For Sale: Telephone, just like new! Very cheap. Call 345-9876 for more information. Why would you want to buy a used fellytone?!" James dissolved into hopeless giggles with Remus and Peter.
"Can you believe that Padfoot?" James asked Sirius, but got no answer.
"Padfoot? What are you reading?"
"I'm not sure," Sirius answered. "From what I can tell, it's something where Muggles write in their problems to some other Muggle, who tells them what to do."
"Why can't they just figure it out themselves?" Peter asked blatantly.
James, Remus, and Lily just rolled their eyes and turned back to Sirius.
"You guys," Sirius said. "I could do this. I mean, I think I could be good at this type of thing, and--"
Sirius was forced to stop because of a loud snort coming from James.
"You!" he said. "Give advice? To other people?"
"He does have a point, Sirius," added Lily. "Giving advice isn't as easy as it may seem. You really have to think about the possible outcome of a situation, you can't just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind."
"I can too do it," replied Sirius stubbornly.
"Sirius," Remus tried, "even if you could do an advice column, how would you publish it? I seriously doubt the Daily Prophet would publish, well, you."
"I know," said James, finally rising from his hysterics. "Isn't there a school paper? You know that only the Ravenclaws read and everyone uses for spit wads and paper airplanes?"
"It's called the Hogwarts Times, thank you very much," said Remus heatedly. "And I believe they are looking for a new column."
"Wicked!" Sirius yelled excitedly. "I'll be back when I have an advice column," he yelled on his way through the portrait hole.
"I feel sorry for Hogwarts," said Lily.
"I feel sorry for Padfoot if he doesn't get the column. Then I'll feel sorry for Hogwarts," James added slyly.
"When do you think we'll find out if he gets the column?" asked Peter.
"Well, firstly, Padfoot has to find out where to go to ask," said Remus as the portrait hole opened, revealing a miffed looking Sirius.
"Where's the bloody editor at?" Sirius asked Remus.
"Go down to the second corridor, across from the staff room, third door on the left. You can't miss it," Remus replied.
"Thanks," said Sirius as he turned to leave yet again.
Author's note:
Well, it wasn't supposed to be a real "Sirius" fic, but oh well. Stay tuned next time to see if Sirius gets an advice column or not. *Dramatic music* Dun dun dun! If you have any suggestions for Hogwarts student problems, (should Sirius get a column) go ahead and tell me. Oh. And I know the fellytone thing is pretty lame, but I couldn't think of anything else. Besides, fellytone is a cool word. Hope you enjoyed!
Sturgis Podmore