Thanks for the reviews!
no: I doubt a blind deaf mute would be reading this, and if it's reality you are looking for, why are you at this site? After all, this is fan FICTIONS, as in FALSE!
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Abby relaxed a little now. She knew, she finally knew why, why everything had happened. Some of it still bothered her. Some of it she still didn't completely understand, but she was content.
"What did I miss though, Abby? How did you feel? Please tell me. I just told you, it's your turn."
"Where do I start?
"From when you had to chose between me and Eric, I want to know. I want to understand.
"Please understand Carter, I wasn't choosing him over you, or one over the other. I beg of you Carter, understand I wasn't choosing between you two. I thought that that was the best choice. I thought you would understand, but after you were mad at me about that I realized how you took it. I wanted to explain that I wasn't choosing. But I guess I never really got the chance. If I were given the chance again, I know what I would have chosen. I mean that last year was pretty much hell. If I could have avoided all the things I went through, I wouldn't have gone. Then, I felt like you left just to hurt me, to get back at me for leaving you. I knew I probably deserved it, but, it still hurt, it hurt so much. I mean I loved you so much, and suddenly you were leaving me. I didn't understand. I think know I felt much like you felt when I left."
There was a pause, where Abby caught her breath and continued.
"Then you came back, and I was still a little mad. I mean, I don't think I was expecting you. I wasn't expecting you to leave that fast again. So I was a bitch, I thought after a day, I would try to make peace again, but then you were gone again, I knew this time it didn't have to do with me, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Then I got the letter. That letter crushed me. I mean, I blamed myself for it, but it hurt so much more than everything else. I wanted more than anything a chance to fix things, but I didn't get that chance, I couldn't do anything to talk to you. I didn't know where you were. So I tried to fx everything up so that when you got back you would be blown away. I stopped smoking, I stopped drinking, I really did. I had been sober for like 6 months before that night. That night was sort of a weakness for me, I saw you drinking, so I thought why not.
But any ways, I went back to med school, just to prove to you that I wasn't a quitter. That I could do it. I was waiting, every day, every night. And then you showed up with her." Abby laughed at this, not a funny laugh, a laugh that represented how ironic the situation was. "I was so hurt then. More then I was when you left, more than I was when I got the letter, it was so hard Carter, because I had done all these things for you. Suddenly I didn't know why I was doing them. That's when I started to smoke again. I kept going with the med school I really wanted to do that. But it still hurt, do you know how hard it is to watch someone you love, love someone else?"
"I had to watch you and Luka."
"I wasn't pregnant with his kid though. Watching her, I wanted to be where she was. I wanted to be your girlfriend, I wanted to be pregnant with your kid. It hurt so much. Then the kid died, and I suddenly knew, things were going to fall apart. This was my chance to prove to you, this was where I could show you how much you meant to me. But you pushed me away, you pushed everyone away. I thought when you were ready I would show you. I was still waiting. I don't know if I slept with you because I thought that it would console you. I don't know why I did it, other than the fact I was drunk, and the fact that I missed you.
"You missed me?
"I missed you. I know it sounds cheesy, but I missed hearing your voice almost every day, I missed the way we would tease one another, I missed your laugh, your smile. I miss the way you made scrambled eggs."
Carter laughed at this.
"I'm sorry, I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now, you have enough to deal with.
"No, it's okay. Sometime you get so wrapped up in your own life, you forget there is a whole world out there, one with feelings and emotions as well. I am sorry I hurt you.
"So am I.
Abby just lay there, she wasn't looking for romance right now. Right now she knew that she had her friend back, if romance grew from there, so be it, if not, oh well, she was content. She had told him everything, and she now knew how he felt. He laid down behind her on the couch. Hugging her to him. They just lay there, appreciating the calmness of everything, the silence.
Out side the lounge, all the doctors and nurses were at the admit desk, not knowing whether or not to go into the lounge. They didn't hear any shouting, but they didn't know what they were doing, and they weren't sure they wanted to know.
no: I doubt a blind deaf mute would be reading this, and if it's reality you are looking for, why are you at this site? After all, this is fan FICTIONS, as in FALSE!
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Abby relaxed a little now. She knew, she finally knew why, why everything had happened. Some of it still bothered her. Some of it she still didn't completely understand, but she was content.
"What did I miss though, Abby? How did you feel? Please tell me. I just told you, it's your turn."
"Where do I start?
"From when you had to chose between me and Eric, I want to know. I want to understand.
"Please understand Carter, I wasn't choosing him over you, or one over the other. I beg of you Carter, understand I wasn't choosing between you two. I thought that that was the best choice. I thought you would understand, but after you were mad at me about that I realized how you took it. I wanted to explain that I wasn't choosing. But I guess I never really got the chance. If I were given the chance again, I know what I would have chosen. I mean that last year was pretty much hell. If I could have avoided all the things I went through, I wouldn't have gone. Then, I felt like you left just to hurt me, to get back at me for leaving you. I knew I probably deserved it, but, it still hurt, it hurt so much. I mean I loved you so much, and suddenly you were leaving me. I didn't understand. I think know I felt much like you felt when I left."
There was a pause, where Abby caught her breath and continued.
"Then you came back, and I was still a little mad. I mean, I don't think I was expecting you. I wasn't expecting you to leave that fast again. So I was a bitch, I thought after a day, I would try to make peace again, but then you were gone again, I knew this time it didn't have to do with me, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Then I got the letter. That letter crushed me. I mean, I blamed myself for it, but it hurt so much more than everything else. I wanted more than anything a chance to fix things, but I didn't get that chance, I couldn't do anything to talk to you. I didn't know where you were. So I tried to fx everything up so that when you got back you would be blown away. I stopped smoking, I stopped drinking, I really did. I had been sober for like 6 months before that night. That night was sort of a weakness for me, I saw you drinking, so I thought why not.
But any ways, I went back to med school, just to prove to you that I wasn't a quitter. That I could do it. I was waiting, every day, every night. And then you showed up with her." Abby laughed at this, not a funny laugh, a laugh that represented how ironic the situation was. "I was so hurt then. More then I was when you left, more than I was when I got the letter, it was so hard Carter, because I had done all these things for you. Suddenly I didn't know why I was doing them. That's when I started to smoke again. I kept going with the med school I really wanted to do that. But it still hurt, do you know how hard it is to watch someone you love, love someone else?"
"I had to watch you and Luka."
"I wasn't pregnant with his kid though. Watching her, I wanted to be where she was. I wanted to be your girlfriend, I wanted to be pregnant with your kid. It hurt so much. Then the kid died, and I suddenly knew, things were going to fall apart. This was my chance to prove to you, this was where I could show you how much you meant to me. But you pushed me away, you pushed everyone away. I thought when you were ready I would show you. I was still waiting. I don't know if I slept with you because I thought that it would console you. I don't know why I did it, other than the fact I was drunk, and the fact that I missed you.
"You missed me?
"I missed you. I know it sounds cheesy, but I missed hearing your voice almost every day, I missed the way we would tease one another, I missed your laugh, your smile. I miss the way you made scrambled eggs."
Carter laughed at this.
"I'm sorry, I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now, you have enough to deal with.
"No, it's okay. Sometime you get so wrapped up in your own life, you forget there is a whole world out there, one with feelings and emotions as well. I am sorry I hurt you.
"So am I.
Abby just lay there, she wasn't looking for romance right now. Right now she knew that she had her friend back, if romance grew from there, so be it, if not, oh well, she was content. She had told him everything, and she now knew how he felt. He laid down behind her on the couch. Hugging her to him. They just lay there, appreciating the calmness of everything, the silence.
Out side the lounge, all the doctors and nurses were at the admit desk, not knowing whether or not to go into the lounge. They didn't hear any shouting, but they didn't know what they were doing, and they weren't sure they wanted to know.