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Abby headed up the stairs, not knowing what to expect. She was staring at her feet, just walking up, thinking, wondering.
"Abby, what are you doing?"
Abby glanced up. Shit, she silently swore to herself. It was Kerry, what in the world was she going to say.
"Carter? Why are you here too?
Abby turned around, there was Carter, he was heading up too. She glanced at him, not knowing what to say. He looked at her, they were both stuck. Lost for words, neither wanted to be the one who said anything. Kerry spoke first.
"Why are you up here, you are both on shift, and the ER is getting backed up.
"We just needed 15 minutes Kerry." Carter said.
"Why?"
"We are going to OB." Abby kept her head down, she didn't want to see Kerry's reaction.
"What?"
"I need to get an ultrasound. I have an appointment for now, I am pregnant."
Abby didn't dare look up, she didn't want to see the look on Kerry's face.
"We are late, we need to go."
Carter said quickly and walked up behind Abby grabbing her hand and pulled her around Kerry.
"Please don't tell anyone." Abby whispered to Kerry who was still standing on the steps, looking at them in shock.
Abby sighed, that was not the way she wanted to tell Kerry. Things were so weird now that she was pregnant, nothing seemed to be going her way. She held Carter's hand tight. She was frightened, this was it, this was her first view of her baby.
"Are you okay," Carter turned around to ask her.
"Yeah." She looked at him, and knew he could see the fear in her eyes,
"Come here." They had reached the OB floor, Carter pulled her into a hug.
"Everything will be okay, I promise. Everything will be okay." He held her tight.She held him too, just apreciating the moment. She was so tired, all of a sudden. She sank into his embrace, just relaxing, feeling his warmth. Feeling his muscles through his shirt, his stethescope was digging into her chest, but she didn't care. She just fell into his arms, his embraced. She hadn't been hugged like this in a long time, not since they were together. The feeling of the person's weight apon you, the intamentness of it all. The situation, the feeling, she missed it, she needed it.
"We need to sign in." Carter whispered in her ear
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"And there it is." Dr Danbur said to Carter and Abby. She was pointing at the ultra sound screen.
Abby was staring at the screen, not sure if she believed that this was really inside of her body. She wanted to convince herself that they were all playing a trick on her, that this wasn't real, but she knew it was. She looked up at Carter. He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't frowning. Abby would onky think of the memories this brought back or him, she reached her hand up to his shoulder.
Carter seemed to come back from whatever world he was off in in his mind. He looked at her and smiled. Then he looked back at the screen, only now seeming to take in what was there.
"Everything looks good. I want to draw some blood and run a few tests, but that is standard. I'll call in a nurse.
"Thank you.
"Congratulations." Dr. Dunbar said as she left the room.
Carter was still staring at the screen, Abby looked up at him.
"Carter." He kept staring straight at the screen, he was thinking about something. he was gone, in his own world, one that she couldn't penetrate, at least not now.
"Carter." Abby said this time a little louder. He glanced down at her, suddenly realizing she was there.
"Carter what are you thinking about? Whats wrong?"
"This just reminds me..... of, of everything.
"I know. I'm sorry.
"Sorry?
"For making you come.
"No, I am glad I did. I mean after all, this is my child.
"The way you say that, it makes all of this sound real. It hasn't really been up to this point for me."
"This is usually the thing that makes it real for everyone.
"I know," Abby said softly, staring at the screen. This was her child. Her baby.
Se sat up, and looked at him.
"Carter." He looked down at her, she was sitting just so that her head came to about his chest. Abby could see in his eyes, the fear, the terror that the same thing that happened before would happen again.
"Carter we will get through this together. No matter what comes, we have each other.
He looked at her, and brushed the hair out of her eyes. She was staring straight at him, he leaned over and gave her a kiss. It was as light as a feather, but it lasted longer than she expected, and took her breath away. It seemed to ingulf her, it was lasting for eternity. As she slowly pulled away she pulled him into a hug.
She held him as he held her. And then he was breaking down, he started to cry. Tears were running down Carter's cheeks.
"Carter it's okay. It really is."
Abby was amazed at how the roles had reversed, how she was consoling him, instead of when he used to always be the one consoling her.
"Carter, it will be okay. I promise.
She repeated everything he had said to her as she held him. Now it was him who was afraid, now it was Carter who didn't know what to do. There was nothing he could do, he felt helpless, completely powerless. Abby knew how he felt, she had been there so many times. She had felt this way with her family, her life, her relationships. She had felt this way so much, but this time it wasn't her, so she knew how to deal with it.
In a way, they were emotionally leaning on one another, balancing, and she knew that if either gave way, they would both fall down and there would be no one to pull them back up. Abby knew what she had to do. She had to regain her footing, and be there to catch Carter if he fell. She had to figure things out. She was the person who had to work things out and be there for Carter. She knew what she had to do.
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Abby headed up the stairs, not knowing what to expect. She was staring at her feet, just walking up, thinking, wondering.
"Abby, what are you doing?"
Abby glanced up. Shit, she silently swore to herself. It was Kerry, what in the world was she going to say.
"Carter? Why are you here too?
Abby turned around, there was Carter, he was heading up too. She glanced at him, not knowing what to say. He looked at her, they were both stuck. Lost for words, neither wanted to be the one who said anything. Kerry spoke first.
"Why are you up here, you are both on shift, and the ER is getting backed up.
"We just needed 15 minutes Kerry." Carter said.
"Why?"
"We are going to OB." Abby kept her head down, she didn't want to see Kerry's reaction.
"What?"
"I need to get an ultrasound. I have an appointment for now, I am pregnant."
Abby didn't dare look up, she didn't want to see the look on Kerry's face.
"We are late, we need to go."
Carter said quickly and walked up behind Abby grabbing her hand and pulled her around Kerry.
"Please don't tell anyone." Abby whispered to Kerry who was still standing on the steps, looking at them in shock.
Abby sighed, that was not the way she wanted to tell Kerry. Things were so weird now that she was pregnant, nothing seemed to be going her way. She held Carter's hand tight. She was frightened, this was it, this was her first view of her baby.
"Are you okay," Carter turned around to ask her.
"Yeah." She looked at him, and knew he could see the fear in her eyes,
"Come here." They had reached the OB floor, Carter pulled her into a hug.
"Everything will be okay, I promise. Everything will be okay." He held her tight.She held him too, just apreciating the moment. She was so tired, all of a sudden. She sank into his embrace, just relaxing, feeling his warmth. Feeling his muscles through his shirt, his stethescope was digging into her chest, but she didn't care. She just fell into his arms, his embraced. She hadn't been hugged like this in a long time, not since they were together. The feeling of the person's weight apon you, the intamentness of it all. The situation, the feeling, she missed it, she needed it.
"We need to sign in." Carter whispered in her ear
------------------------------
"And there it is." Dr Danbur said to Carter and Abby. She was pointing at the ultra sound screen.
Abby was staring at the screen, not sure if she believed that this was really inside of her body. She wanted to convince herself that they were all playing a trick on her, that this wasn't real, but she knew it was. She looked up at Carter. He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't frowning. Abby would onky think of the memories this brought back or him, she reached her hand up to his shoulder.
Carter seemed to come back from whatever world he was off in in his mind. He looked at her and smiled. Then he looked back at the screen, only now seeming to take in what was there.
"Everything looks good. I want to draw some blood and run a few tests, but that is standard. I'll call in a nurse.
"Thank you.
"Congratulations." Dr. Dunbar said as she left the room.
Carter was still staring at the screen, Abby looked up at him.
"Carter." He kept staring straight at the screen, he was thinking about something. he was gone, in his own world, one that she couldn't penetrate, at least not now.
"Carter." Abby said this time a little louder. He glanced down at her, suddenly realizing she was there.
"Carter what are you thinking about? Whats wrong?"
"This just reminds me..... of, of everything.
"I know. I'm sorry.
"Sorry?
"For making you come.
"No, I am glad I did. I mean after all, this is my child.
"The way you say that, it makes all of this sound real. It hasn't really been up to this point for me."
"This is usually the thing that makes it real for everyone.
"I know," Abby said softly, staring at the screen. This was her child. Her baby.
Se sat up, and looked at him.
"Carter." He looked down at her, she was sitting just so that her head came to about his chest. Abby could see in his eyes, the fear, the terror that the same thing that happened before would happen again.
"Carter we will get through this together. No matter what comes, we have each other.
He looked at her, and brushed the hair out of her eyes. She was staring straight at him, he leaned over and gave her a kiss. It was as light as a feather, but it lasted longer than she expected, and took her breath away. It seemed to ingulf her, it was lasting for eternity. As she slowly pulled away she pulled him into a hug.
She held him as he held her. And then he was breaking down, he started to cry. Tears were running down Carter's cheeks.
"Carter it's okay. It really is."
Abby was amazed at how the roles had reversed, how she was consoling him, instead of when he used to always be the one consoling her.
"Carter, it will be okay. I promise.
She repeated everything he had said to her as she held him. Now it was him who was afraid, now it was Carter who didn't know what to do. There was nothing he could do, he felt helpless, completely powerless. Abby knew how he felt, she had been there so many times. She had felt this way with her family, her life, her relationships. She had felt this way so much, but this time it wasn't her, so she knew how to deal with it.
In a way, they were emotionally leaning on one another, balancing, and she knew that if either gave way, they would both fall down and there would be no one to pull them back up. Abby knew what she had to do. She had to regain her footing, and be there to catch Carter if he fell. She had to figure things out. She was the person who had to work things out and be there for Carter. She knew what she had to do.