Read and Review please! Also, any suggestions on where to go from this would be appreciated.
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"Carter," Abby called to him, he had just entered the ER. She wanted to tell him about the kicking. He turned and she could tell right away, he had been drinking. His eyes were glazed over, he seemed almost ready to pass out.
"Carter?" Abby looked at him, not knowing what in the world happened.
"She called?" He said gruffly.
"What?" Abby didn't even need to ask though, she knew.
"Kem called." He said, although not really realizing what he was saying. He turned and walked into the lounge. Abby ran after him, things shooting through her mind. Questions, all revolving around why.
"Why, why did she call?" Abby walked in after him. He was resting against his locker, head pressed against the metal.
"She said, she said that she was sorry."
"Sorry?"
"That, that she left things so badly.
"That was all?"
"She wanted to know how I was doing."
"Did you tell her?"
"What?"
Abby looked at him, and then pointed to her stomach.
"Oh, I... no I didn't. I forgot."
Abby looked at him, a little mad. But she knew why he didn't tell Kem. He was probably too broken up to even remember. Carter was leaning against the locker, as if it was the only thing supporting him. He was to drunk to work.
"Carter you can't work. You're too drunk."
Carter just looked at her. Almost as if he had given up. Like he didn't care. He grabbed his coat and walked out of the lounge. Abby quickly got hers out of her locker and ran after him.
"Carter, Carter wait."
Everyone was watching as they left, as Abby ran after him.
Carter kept walking, Abby was having trouble keeping up. He kept walking, fast, almost jogging. There was no one in their way as they walked. The snow crunched under Abby's feet, she wondered where he was going.
Abby followed him down to the side of the river. Where he stopped at the gate that separated the sidewalk from the water below. He just stood there, gloves holding onto the metal. Staring out and the water and the city that lay before them. Abby came up behind him. She stopped, to catch her breath. He was just standing there, and so she watched him. Not knowing what to do.
Abby slowly approached him from behind, and moving next to him on the gate, she leaned on looking at the water as well.
"When she called everything came back." Carter said before Abby said a word. She wasn't looking for an explanation for why he was drunk or acting this way. She knew, but he still kept on talking.
"I couldn't take it in all at once. I had to have something, a drink. It started with just one, then another and another, soon the whole bottle was empty."
Abby knew the routine, she had done it so many times.
"I am sorry I am like this. It just made me realize all I have lost in the past year. I mean, I have nothing, no one, I had someone who I loved, I left her. I tried to replace her, it's repeating over and over again in my head."
"Carter......." Abby started. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. He had her, he had this child, how could he say that he had no one?
"No Abby, I can't, I can't take this. I have to have something to drink, anything. i need to forget."
No, Abby couldn't take this. This was not Carter. He needed to wake up, he needed to realize he still had her.
"Carter stop. Stop.
He was walking again, he was trying to get away, like before.
"Abby, I can't. I am sorry, but I need something to drink.
No, she wouldn't take this. Abby ran up behind him, grabbing his arm, she flipped him around. She was so mad, how could he think this. She was here, she loved him. She started to shout at him.
"No Carter. Stop, now! Carter I need to tell you something. I haven't said it yet because I was afraid. I don't know what of. Maybe of what it meant, or what it would mean, or what it would do, But there is something you have to know. I can't stop loving you, I can't stop thinking about you, I can't stop wondering what could have been. What would have been if you hadn't left, if I hadn't made the choices I did. We both did so many things wrong, we made bad choices, we put ourselves in front of the other. And when things were right there, we didn't grab them because we were so afraid of what it would mean or do.
I am still afraid, I am afraid of what this might do, but I can't stand here and watch. It's hard enough watching someone you love love someone else, but I can't stand to watch you destroy yourself, to ruin everything that makes you the man for me. I know that things are hard, and I know that right now, life doesn't seem worth living.
I know why your drinking, and smoking, I did the exact same as you. But after all I went through, I can't stand idly by and watch someone I love do the same. Carter I love you, so don't you dare say you don't have anyone that truly loves you. I have loved you from the moment we met in that cafe and you told me you were sorry. Sorry that you had been such as ass when I told Dr. Greene that you were shooting up in the trauma room. I have loved you every single day, and hour and second since that day four years ago. Maybe I never really knew how much I did until now, maybe I never really appreciated all you gave me.
But Carter, now I know, and now I do, I beg of you don't throw that away. You have someone here who loves you and will love you now until the day you die. That person is standing right here, and not only that, she is pregnant with your child. Now I am not asking you to love me, or even get back together with me. But I am asking you not to throw everything away, to alcohol. I know because I have been there. It took me so long, but I did it. But I don't want that to happen to you. I don't, I don't want the father of my child to be what I used to be. Please, don't throw it all away........... please."
Abby was crying now, silently, but tears were streaming down her face as she watched Carter. His face was as it was before, but it was softer. Then she saw it, a small tear streaming down the side of his cheek.
"The baby kicked this morning, for the first time." Abby said. She lowered her head to look at her stomach, and even though it was ice cold outside, she pulled up her shirt so her stomach, placed her hand on it.
"Your baby kicked for the first time this morning." Abby said again.
Carter looked at her, tears now streaming down his face.
"I'm sorry." He said. "I'm sorry that I drank."
"I know you are."
"Do, do you really love me?"
Abby looked at him.
"Carter, I love you more than I could ever say, or show. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life."
Carter walked over to Abby, placing his hand on her stomach. Abby jumped, because his hand was really cold on her skin.
Carter lowered his head, so that his forehead was touching Abby's.
"I love you too." He whispered in her ear, and with that he pulled her into a kiss.
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"Carter," Abby called to him, he had just entered the ER. She wanted to tell him about the kicking. He turned and she could tell right away, he had been drinking. His eyes were glazed over, he seemed almost ready to pass out.
"Carter?" Abby looked at him, not knowing what in the world happened.
"She called?" He said gruffly.
"What?" Abby didn't even need to ask though, she knew.
"Kem called." He said, although not really realizing what he was saying. He turned and walked into the lounge. Abby ran after him, things shooting through her mind. Questions, all revolving around why.
"Why, why did she call?" Abby walked in after him. He was resting against his locker, head pressed against the metal.
"She said, she said that she was sorry."
"Sorry?"
"That, that she left things so badly.
"That was all?"
"She wanted to know how I was doing."
"Did you tell her?"
"What?"
Abby looked at him, and then pointed to her stomach.
"Oh, I... no I didn't. I forgot."
Abby looked at him, a little mad. But she knew why he didn't tell Kem. He was probably too broken up to even remember. Carter was leaning against the locker, as if it was the only thing supporting him. He was to drunk to work.
"Carter you can't work. You're too drunk."
Carter just looked at her. Almost as if he had given up. Like he didn't care. He grabbed his coat and walked out of the lounge. Abby quickly got hers out of her locker and ran after him.
"Carter, Carter wait."
Everyone was watching as they left, as Abby ran after him.
Carter kept walking, Abby was having trouble keeping up. He kept walking, fast, almost jogging. There was no one in their way as they walked. The snow crunched under Abby's feet, she wondered where he was going.
Abby followed him down to the side of the river. Where he stopped at the gate that separated the sidewalk from the water below. He just stood there, gloves holding onto the metal. Staring out and the water and the city that lay before them. Abby came up behind him. She stopped, to catch her breath. He was just standing there, and so she watched him. Not knowing what to do.
Abby slowly approached him from behind, and moving next to him on the gate, she leaned on looking at the water as well.
"When she called everything came back." Carter said before Abby said a word. She wasn't looking for an explanation for why he was drunk or acting this way. She knew, but he still kept on talking.
"I couldn't take it in all at once. I had to have something, a drink. It started with just one, then another and another, soon the whole bottle was empty."
Abby knew the routine, she had done it so many times.
"I am sorry I am like this. It just made me realize all I have lost in the past year. I mean, I have nothing, no one, I had someone who I loved, I left her. I tried to replace her, it's repeating over and over again in my head."
"Carter......." Abby started. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. He had her, he had this child, how could he say that he had no one?
"No Abby, I can't, I can't take this. I have to have something to drink, anything. i need to forget."
No, Abby couldn't take this. This was not Carter. He needed to wake up, he needed to realize he still had her.
"Carter stop. Stop.
He was walking again, he was trying to get away, like before.
"Abby, I can't. I am sorry, but I need something to drink.
No, she wouldn't take this. Abby ran up behind him, grabbing his arm, she flipped him around. She was so mad, how could he think this. She was here, she loved him. She started to shout at him.
"No Carter. Stop, now! Carter I need to tell you something. I haven't said it yet because I was afraid. I don't know what of. Maybe of what it meant, or what it would mean, or what it would do, But there is something you have to know. I can't stop loving you, I can't stop thinking about you, I can't stop wondering what could have been. What would have been if you hadn't left, if I hadn't made the choices I did. We both did so many things wrong, we made bad choices, we put ourselves in front of the other. And when things were right there, we didn't grab them because we were so afraid of what it would mean or do.
I am still afraid, I am afraid of what this might do, but I can't stand here and watch. It's hard enough watching someone you love love someone else, but I can't stand to watch you destroy yourself, to ruin everything that makes you the man for me. I know that things are hard, and I know that right now, life doesn't seem worth living.
I know why your drinking, and smoking, I did the exact same as you. But after all I went through, I can't stand idly by and watch someone I love do the same. Carter I love you, so don't you dare say you don't have anyone that truly loves you. I have loved you from the moment we met in that cafe and you told me you were sorry. Sorry that you had been such as ass when I told Dr. Greene that you were shooting up in the trauma room. I have loved you every single day, and hour and second since that day four years ago. Maybe I never really knew how much I did until now, maybe I never really appreciated all you gave me.
But Carter, now I know, and now I do, I beg of you don't throw that away. You have someone here who loves you and will love you now until the day you die. That person is standing right here, and not only that, she is pregnant with your child. Now I am not asking you to love me, or even get back together with me. But I am asking you not to throw everything away, to alcohol. I know because I have been there. It took me so long, but I did it. But I don't want that to happen to you. I don't, I don't want the father of my child to be what I used to be. Please, don't throw it all away........... please."
Abby was crying now, silently, but tears were streaming down her face as she watched Carter. His face was as it was before, but it was softer. Then she saw it, a small tear streaming down the side of his cheek.
"The baby kicked this morning, for the first time." Abby said. She lowered her head to look at her stomach, and even though it was ice cold outside, she pulled up her shirt so her stomach, placed her hand on it.
"Your baby kicked for the first time this morning." Abby said again.
Carter looked at her, tears now streaming down his face.
"I'm sorry." He said. "I'm sorry that I drank."
"I know you are."
"Do, do you really love me?"
Abby looked at him.
"Carter, I love you more than I could ever say, or show. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life."
Carter walked over to Abby, placing his hand on her stomach. Abby jumped, because his hand was really cold on her skin.
Carter lowered his head, so that his forehead was touching Abby's.
"I love you too." He whispered in her ear, and with that he pulled her into a kiss.