A/N: I have no idea what this is about…A combination of lack of sleep and caffeine I suppose. Also, this is slashish…sorta. You have been warned!
Every time I see him flying about, taunting me I can't decide if I want to kill him or fuck him. It's an obsession. A sickness that buries itself deep in my bones.
It's pathetic how I year for him, pathetic. I hate myself more than I hate him. I'm just a hallow bastard of a man. A mocking creature cursed to be enchanted by the never-ageing Pan. And what does he do? Flaunt himself, torture me and run off laughing every time I fail.
I could easily kill him, he is only a boy. I have lived longer than he, and have had many years of fighting experience. I just can't bring myself to end his life, to take his brightness from this world.
I truly despise myself. I can't help wish that he would leave, grow and return. Even I won't touch a child. I may be a monster, but even I won't cross that line.
Still, there are those times when the loneliness becomes unbearable. Where I can't stop the fleeting thoughts of his thin body under mine, writhing, begging. I can not bring myself to hate him, nor to kill him. Oh, lord how much I wish I could. My misery would end and my life would be empty.
When the girl came along my hope for peace flared anew. Maybe he would leave with her and I could forget the forever young Peter Pan.
Oh, but I was wrong. The anger, the frustration and the pain grew worse. I had to kill him, for my own sake. And I tried, but I couldn't. The worst I could do was the thin scratch along his chest.
I am truly a pathetic man. I can't even kill a singular boy that I have become dependent on. Truly pathetic.
I fought him and I lost. I was swallowed whole by the very creature that took my hand and yet, I can't seem to care. He has eyes only for the Wendy girl now and I, I will be forgotten and my life will end.
I sat in the belly of the croc for what seemed ages until I decided to tear my way out. I was dripping with filth when he found me laying on the shore gasping for air. He wasn't the same Pan. He had changed and I guessed that the Wendy girl had left.
He wasn't the same though, and I couldn't stand him. I had been his enemy for so long that, when the chance came to befriend him I didn't know what to do.
Standing there he looked so pathetic an I realized my obsession. He was me, in a way. A younger, more hopeful me, before the reality of life came crashing down.
And I embrace him, and I become him. I smile, because, for once in my life I understand that at one time, long ago, I was that boy.