Mismatched
Chapter 11 - The Spectators
Author's Notes: Thanks so much for the reviews. I'm glad that you all enjoyed chapter 10. And oh, just want to congratulate lebleuphenix who said that the girl's plan would fail in three days! Dead on!
And also to Priscilla who wrote a review about "loving out of habit" which you all knew I used last chapter - that was brilliant! I hope you didn't mind too much that I used it. It pretty much summed up what I wanted the fic to show... confusing real love and, "love out of habit"
I would love to thank each one of you personally but I've been really busy... but I swear, due thanks would be given! You all deserve them. This is sort of a filler chapter, don't exactly know what made me write it, but I do hope you'd still like it. You can flame me. In fact, I urge you to. I'd like to know what you think of this little experimental chapter. But be a little kinder, ok? Thanks.
I promise, for this summer, after this fic, I'd be dead set on working on and finishing Rabukome. Hope there are still people interested in that fic! Well, as always, feel free to tell me anything you want. Oh, and Shiro is the name of that other Oni guy right? Seesh, if not, well can someone help me? Thanks. So sorry for not doing my research.
Mismatched
Chapter 11 - The Spectators
Clouds even darker from the last two days hung from the sky that no beams of sunshine filtered through the slits of bamboo walls. Gray shadows were thrown everywhere, jagged lines that crisscrossed across the wooden floor, making the whole house seemed gloomier - less homey. The silence that surrounded the Aoiya added to the slowly creeping stillness and coldness of the day. There was little movement from the inside that one would think that the once cheery, noisy home had been deserted. It had been days, three to be exact, since laughter was heard from inside. It seemed that everyone walked on tiptoes, afraid of one wrong move, or perhaps cautious of each others movement.
Paranoia is in the air.
But somewhere at the corner of this house, something else was brewing - floating about in hushed whispers and barely contained giggles.
Around the low table of the kitchen, a small group of people had converged. This little space had become their official headquarters. Today, like the rest of the three days before, they were all getting ready for the task at hand, especially since the information acquired had been disseminated and discussed properly.
Plates cluttered quietly accompanied by the light hissing of water, bubbling as blue fires licked at the bottom of the coal-colored bottom of an ancient pot. Gray-white smoke wafted through the air.
Very familiar, very routinely task. This was what had been going on ever since the first day of the week when it all began.
"Boys." This statement was accompanied by a long-suffering sigh followed by a chuckle.
"Men." A voice corrected evenly.
This one word brought out bursts of barely-controlled giggling from Okon and Omasu. The girls shoved their fists on their mouths, trying to stifle the laughter that bubbled in their throats and threatened to spill from their lips. Shiro scowled at them.
"Oh, you should've heard them. Talking so bravely. Ripping each other's tonsils. How silly!" Omasu exclaimed and doubled over with laughter.
"No better than the way the girls had argued the past few nights." Shiro said furiously mincing vegetables. He sounded so much like the three arguing boys at the porch early this morning: proud and so very indignant.
"I still can't believe it took barely an hour for Aoshi-sama to agree with Sano! I've always thought that he'd fight this very idea to death." Omasu said as she stirred the soup that she was making.
"Well, at least they didn't discuss it for two days and two nights. Just goes to show how indecisive girls are." Shiro said in his all too knowing voice.
"Just goes to show how stupid boys are!" Okon corrected primly. The echoed answer was laden with both amusement and exasperation. "The girls actually took their time to plan and decide!"
"Great planning indeed. Having been found out so easily. Stunning success! Congratulations! Females are out on the lose! What's next then? World Denomination?" Shiro asked raising his eyebrow and giving the girls a look.
And because he was a man, and women have quite the talent in ignoring men, his sarcastic observations were effectively ignored. "Did you see the look on Aoshi-sama's face when Sano asked him if they get to kiss the girls?" Omasu asked changing the subject with ease.
Shiro's scowled deepen, not liking the fact that he was out number and therefore whatever his comments were, they don't actually amount to anything. Women do stick up for themselves much effectively than men, he thought sourly as he watched Okon and Omasu squealed and giggled with bare suppressed delight.
"Oh... I wish there had been enough light, it was so damn annoying trying to watch from the tree! But I thought I saw smoke rise up from Aoshi-sama's ears!" Okon answered, her eyes bright with amusement.
"I hardly think that Sagara would dare kiss our little Misao. And if he does..." Shiro announced with valor. The sound of knife hitting the chopping board was slowly rising in volume as his mincing turned to chopping. Very soon, the whole board would be reduced into tiny little pieces.
"It would be sad ne, if Misao-chan gets her first kiss from Sano?" Omasu asked, frowning a bit.
"I rather bet that Sano would end up dead before he even gets the chance to kiss Misao. Megumi-san had been keeping a close eye on him." Omasu said remembering a crawling Megumi from last night, peeking from a small gap at the shoji door where inside Misao had been tending Sano's black eye. That, she thought, was a sight she'd never forget. She'd be telling it up to her grand old days, with her great grand children sitting around her listening with interest and Hiko-sama laughing by her side. What a pretty picture!
"The question is, would Aoshi-sama kiss Kamiya-san?" Okon said with a thoughtful nod of her head. "He seemed to have quite developed a liking towards her."
"He has not!" Shiro said all out once and then paused, "has he, Okon? You're the one in-charge of watching them."
Okon paused tilting her head, mentally viewing pieces of evidence she had acquired from her spying. "Well... they had meditated together on the first day. Aoshi-sama would not have tolerated her presence if he did not like her." This information was greeted by silence. "But really, the boys have already professed their undying love earlier. It's the girls that I'm worried about. Would Kamiya-san return Aoshi-sama's kiss? That is the question."
"Oh, don't be foolish." Omasu said with a pout. "Aoshi-sama and Kamiya-san would likely happen once hell freezes over, so to speak. Do you see the way Kamiya-san looks at Himura-san? There is no way that she'd forget about Hiko-sama's deshi that quickly."
"Still, Himura-san had been avoiding her all week. If I had been a girl, I would've surely turned my attention to another man." Shiro said absentmindedly clearing the table.
Okon and Omasu changed funny looks. Shiro, being a true paranoid male specie, turned his head to glare at the two women, "What?" he asked frowning at the half smile etched on their faces. "What's so funny?"
Men are clueless too, so this wasn't something new to Omasu and Okon.
"Nothing." Omasu said dismissing Shiro with a wave of her wooden spatula. "It just sounded weird... you looking for another man." Omasu smiled slowly.
Shiro rolled his eyes, "I said, had I been a girl I would've..." realizing that he'd be repeating what was already becoming highly controversial statement, he stopped to glare at Omasu again.
"Yes, Shiro? You want to add something?" Omasu challenged him, her eyes glinting in the dimmed room.
"Forget it." He grumbled quietly.
Okon cleared her voice, indicating that they should return to the matter at hand. "We barely know the workings of Himura-san and Kamiya-san's relationship." she said in all seriousness, giving the table little attention as she randomly placed cups and plates around. "I'm guessing that it's almost as complicated as Aoshi-sama's and Misao-chan's. I am sure about one thing though," Okon said pausing long enough to gain the interest of her two companions. "He's in love with her as she is in love with him." she said with a proud flourish.
"Tell me something I don't know." Shiro scoffed.
"What about Megumi-san? She certainly has harbored feelings towards Himura-san." Omasu asked, pondering silently on who'd better suit Himura-san. One was a woman-child: barely out of her teens. Would someone her age know how to handle a man such as the legendary Battousai? The other was a woman already: wise and mature. But would she be able to give Himura-san back his lost innocence? It was rather an easy question. But Omasu liked the many dimension of this twisted love-pentagon? Or would dodecagon be more appropriate? She smiled slyly, as she half listened to Shiro's report.
"Lost cause." Shiro said waving his hands in the air, "She's attracted to Sanosuke... in er... more ways than one."
"Interesting that you say that. I seem to recall one morning walking in on Megumi-san while she was having a dream and.." she paused remembering a sleeping Megumi as she tried to take off her clothes all the while moaning and groaning out what sounded like the first syllables of Sagara-san's name. "Well, let's just say that it sure didn't look like she's got the hots for anyone except for Sano."
"It is all so romantic if you ask me." Okon added dreamily.
Shiro opened his mouth to argue when a strangled cry of protest broke through the silence.
"What is the meaning of this?!" An enraged voice cried out. The intensity of it was enough to shake the precious chinaware on Okon's hands. Shiro almost cut his finger into two and Omasu's soup sloshed at the side, bringing the hissing sound of water meeting fire into a loud echo inside the kitchen.
Everyone snapped in attention. The old man of the house, looking like his old-wrinkled self was standing by the doorway, hands firmly planted on his hips.
Ooops. Caught. Omasu thought with disdain. "Okina...ho-how long have you been standing there?" She asked guiltily, slowly backing away.
"Long enough to hear what I needed to hear. What have I told you about this sort of talks?" Okina asked mightily shaking his head in what seemed like a display of great disappointment. Admittedly, he looked more ridiculous with the exaggerated movement of his head.
"But we weren't..." Okon began, but Okina cut her off with a glare.
"I am appalled that you," he swept his eyes across the room, "are all at it again!"
There were scattered muffled apologies. Okina made it a point to glare at everyone inside the room. Satisfied with their morose expression, Okina sniffed loudly and crossed his arms against his chest, "never, ever start the gossip... without ME!" he said flopping down near Shiro.
"Hai." Was everyone's quick response.
Okina nodded primly and in a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree turn of events, he leaned forward, eyes burning with excitement he asked in a General-to-Soldier tone of voice: "What is the current status of our OPLAN: Mismatched?"
Okon and Omasu shared a look. "Well," Okon began. "The boys have decided to retaliate." She informed him slowly.
"Brilliant!" Okina exclaimed, pumping his wrinkled fist in the air, "I knew that those boys wouldn't let me down!"
"They have decided on almost the same rules." Shiro said, "Except they all agreed that they'd rip each other's throat if one dares to ugh... put their tongues into good use." he said in all seriousness.
Okina smiled pleasantly. "Ha! How quaint! Love." he said in a dreamy voice, eyes going big and round and watery. He sighed deeply, "Funny thing that it does to people, ne?"
This time all three spies shared a look. He's gone mad.
We all know that.
But this is worse.
Yes. Much worse.
"Omasu!" The General exclaimed, pounding his palms on table, "Report on Subjects from yesterday."
Omasu cleared her voice. "Subject Male was spotted talking with Subject Female, at their usual place, by the back of the Aoiya. Very secluded and private place. They were dressed properly. Also, there was physical violence involved, but Subject Female was quick to offer her apology and help. Both subjects, while in discussion, had a proximity of almost zero. In fact had they been any close, I would guess that Subject Male would've gotten lucky yesterday. Of course, he did get punched in the face so… Oh! And Subject Male told Subject Female that she was beautiful when mad."
"Aww." Okon said, not able to help herself.
The General was quiet. Digesting this fact. Thinking of its implications. They did not seemed good.
"What do you think?" Shiro asked, for lack of better thing to say. He honestly did not need to hear the crazy old man's theory. The last time he reported that Subject Female had asked Subject Male for sex in front of a crowd at the market, Okina had theorized that perhaps Subject Female was in need of a companion for the night and who better volunteer but himself. Shiro almost gagged at the memory.
"I think," The General began, "that Subject Female is going to kill Subject Male by the end of the week." He looked far into the wall, rubbing his chins thoughtfully. "That is unacceptable." He concluded with an air of dignity. He turned to look at Omasu, his blue eyes clear and alive. "Please pay closer attention to those two starting today. Intercept any form of violence. We need both Subjects alive. There would be no ripping of throats if our Little Misao eviscerates Subject Male beforehand. And I really do want to see Aoshi in some ripping of throats action." The General said this in a childlike hopeful voice.
Omasu bit her lips and nodded. I will not say what's inside my mind. I will not. She sought Okon's eyes and quickly looked away. Okon's face was disfigured, distorted from her efforts to keep from bursting out in gales of laughter. Omasu's mental mantra changed: I will not laugh. I will not.
The General turned to Shiro. "Shiro!" He said in the same barking voice he used with Omasu. "Report of Subjects from yesterday."
Shiro sighed, "I have reported the 'Asking For Sex In Broad Day Light Incident', sir." He said as politely as he could. They had decided to call it as that and chalk it up underneath the Undoubtedly The Weirdest Incident Of The Week. As of the moment, it was the only item under that category. Shiro doubted that anything would top that.
The General's eyes flickered with interest. "Ah, yes." He said this in a voice that barely hid disappointment.
Shiro smiled. He hoped Takani-sensei had given their General a few of her barb-wire-laced remarks. He did remember over hearing the phase: "You dried up wretched old man" from last night. He willed himself not to ask the General what the heck was that all about. He knew. Oh, he knew. "Not so very promising for those two." Shiro said as his conclusion.
"Really?" The General asked. "I rather think that they have much sexual tension going on." He said sounding convinced.
Shiro's mouth dropped. Sexual tension? Between those two?! Highly unlikely. Tension between those two wasn't even present. He glanced at Okon and Omasu who both were rolling their eyes.
"Ugh, sexual tension, sir?" He asked slowly, trying his best not to offend their General.
Their General blinked at him. "Why yes. Did you not notice in the way that they interact?" He asked.
Shiro raised his eyebrows. With the way his Subjects were interacting, you'd think they were blood relatives. Uncle and niece, well maybe that was an exaggeration. After all Himura-san was not that old. Cousins, maybe. But sexual tension? Are you blind? "Are you sure?" he asked instead.
"They are not making it obvious." Was the old man's way of explanation.
"Riiiiiiiight." Shiro drawled.
"Okon!" The same abrupt bark from the General snapped Okon back to attention. "Report of Subjects from yesterday."
"Subject Female went to the temple during the hours of sunset. Subject Male invited Subject Female to eat at Sae-san's restaurant. Both Subjects stayed there from nineteen hundred up until the restaurant's closing. Subject Male made sure that Subject Female was inside her room before he himself returned to his official quarters. Subject Male entered the room and after five minutes, went out again to check up on Omasu's Female Subject's room. Subject Male did not go inside. He watched for a few minutes and..." at this Okon stopped.
"And what?" The General demanded.
"Did the same thing at Kaoru's room." She finished.
There was a stunned silence in the air. This was news! Shiro and Omasu glared at Okon for hiding this most valuable information.
"Aoshi sees Misao in Kaoru." Okina quietly said. "Interesting."
"Does he really?" Shiro asked, glancing at his two cohorts who were both frowning, deep in thought at what their General had revealed.
A deeper silence ensued. They all waited for what the General would say. Perhaps there was still hope for his demented brain.
"No. I'm just joking." Their General said with a wave of his hands.
The three spies fell over, heads hitting the floor with a loud thud.
"I think Aoshi merely misses his old room. Kamiya-san is staying on that room is she not?"
There was a muffled groan of yes from the floor.
"Nothing serious." Okina concluded. "And now, it seems as though the boys have decided to retaliate."
"Yes they have." Okon said, rubbing her forehead. "They will start today."
"Ah. More complications." Their General smiled. That same sadistic smile he had the day he decided that they should play the spying game on all three couples. The same sadistic smile he had when he forced them all to be his spies. "What tangled web they are weaving," he paused, a dent forming on his forehead. "Speaking of weaving... Okon, have you sewn my old yukata? It has a hole in the... err... it has a hole. Have you fixed it?"
"Hai."
"Good, good. Sano's geisha friend had clawed at it..." he mumbled, loud enough (and they all suspected that he did so with the sole intent that they hear him) for all of them to hear.
"Trying to escape from your evil clutches?" Shiro muttered.
Omasu choked.
"Daijoubu, Omasu?"
"Hai. Ugh... an... an itch on my throat." She cleared her throat. "I'm ok." She announced not meeting anyone's eyes. Because she knew that if she saw Okon, she'd burst into laughter. If she saw Shiro, she'd hit him for making that comment.
"Well, then, I'm expecting that you trail your subjects closely this time."
"We will." Okon said, eagerly nodding her head. "I won't miss anything." She said with a solemn vow.
"I have a better idea." A new, but very familiar voice announced.
Their guest's arrival had been silent and for a half second, everyone inside the room gaped at the man standing outside of their kitchen. The dark morning made him look larger and with shadows dancing madly around him he looked like ghost of an old warrior from the many battles of the past.
And then the hormones kicked in.
Omasu squealed in delight. Okon cried shrilly. And both became a blur of blue as they rushed passed Shiro to wrap their arms around those broad, cloak covered shoulders. Shiro rolled his eyes. Women.
"What are you doing here? Trespassing on my property?" Okina asked, the memories of his ruined Aoiya still fresh in his mind. And a large portion of that ruin was because of Kenshin's master. Not directly of course, but he had to put a blame on someone didn't he? "What is it with you suddenly appearing out of nowhere? Do you not have a life? Oh, wait, no need to ask that, the answer is already quite obvious isn't it?"
Hiko regarded Okina with a raised eyebrow. "Because you are older than I am, I will let that pass. But you speak to me on that tone again and I will, and trust me, I will show you how you'd be punished if you trespassed on my property."
Okon fanned herself with her hand, the tips of her fingers suddenly turning cold. He is so very hot. She thought to herself.
Omasu leaned towards Okon and let the girl fan her too. He is so very sexy, she thought smiling even wider.
"Puff." Okina said scowling. "I did not know you owned any property Hiko." His nemesis merely raised an eyebrow. "And what is this better idea of yours?"
Hiko smiled slowly. "None of your silly ideas. Spying. Such childish games."
"Of course! To you it is! You do not know the finer points in..."
"Stalking? You think that they have not noticed?" Hiko asked.
"They have not." At this their General cast them a warning look. "They better not."
"We've been very careful, Hiko-sama." Okon breathed and somehow, to Shiro's ears that sounded a little too different from what he knew Okon meant. He shuddered.
"Very." Omasu echoed in that same tone.
Oh, for the love of Kami! Shiro thought. Where was the dignity in this place? By the end of the week, he would not be surprised if things ended up in a... in a wild orgy!
Ok, now he was going to have a nosebleed. "'Cuse me." He mumbled turning away. Nobody paid him any attention. Good.
"Fine then. But you are wasting your efforts." Hiko said crossing his arms and looking at Okina as though he had seen a wasp. His eyebrows twitched at the mental picture it made. Very disturbing.
"It is important that we know of their activities, Hiko-sama. This is something that involves all of us." Okina glared at the egotistic arrogant bastard that had dared belittle his efforts. "What have you been doing all this time? Dragging you deshi for some cheap sex talk?"
Shiro who was about to turn and converse with them again was stopped halfway. He caught Okina's last word and as he turned back to face the wall yet again, he wondered if he was just a little too horny or it had been that long. Horny he thought, better that than the other option.
Hiko narrowed his eyes, "I at least, have the experience to share with my deshi!"
"Can we please not talk about Sex!" Shiro suddenly roared from his little corner. He gasped and stilled as soon as he realized that he had heard his own voice. Dammit! I didn't just say that? Did I? The sudden silence around him told him that yes; he had indeed said that, out loud even. Shiro felt everyone's eyes on him, and thank Kami he had his back against them. He didn't want to see their reactions. "Uh, I mean, is it necessary? It has got nothing to do with the mission General." He said awkwardly. There was a full second of silence and then everybody muttered "ok's" and "sure Shiro, whatever you say," (that sounded like Okon.) Damn, all these tensions inside the house – all bottled up - was really getting to him... he wished this week would get over soon and that they'd be back to their normal lives.
Okon and Omasu were also silently thankful for Shiro's outburst. At least no one noticed their flushed faces and necks. Oh my. They both thought, we do hope that's true enough Hiko-sama, all of your experiences would be so much of an advantage...
Okina, oblivious to the strange behavior of his species had stood up, his eyes flashed with anger "what my I ask are you implying you old hermit?"
Hiko raised an eyebrow and sighed, "Okina, do you really want me to answer you?"
Okina bristled at this. "Indeed, who cares of what you think or say for that matter?" there was air of supremacy around Okina when he said this. His imagination of course.
Hiko sighed and took a step forward, "I came here with a purpose old man. There is no reason for me to see ugliness displayed full force, but still I came. Listen," he said and again that cool, cat like smile. "Why don't we make it more interesting for everyone, since it is quite obvious how you've managed to involve the whole household into this personal mess?"
At this Shiro had already returned to his normal self. "How?" he asked his curiosity piqued.
"Will this add to their needless and therefore funny suffering?" Okina asked also sounding thoroughly interested.
"Of course! Why would I make it any easier for my baka deshi?" Hiko asked irritated.
"How then, do tell, oh wise and old and ancient one." Okina said in an imploring voice laden with sarcasm.
"We make a bet, your most Ancientness." Hiko retorted huffily.
This time both Okon and Omasu rolled their eyes. What is it with men and gambling?
"A bet." Shiro heard Okina say. What a damn good idea! He had to give it to Himura-san's master. What a perfect opportunity! He was already trying to think of what he'd get from both Okina and Hiko - knowing the two probably not much, but what the hell, this would to his collection. He was going to auction all the stuff he had gotten from all these people. He'd already asked for Sano's red headband and had thought it'll fetch around 500 yen in a couple more years, double if Sano dies wearing it. Now, if he can only ask Himura-san for that purple gi...
"Yes. Do you want me to define it for you, Okina?" Hiko was saying.
"I know what a bet is, you arrogant..."
"Ten jugs of sake." Hiko said examining his perfect nails and the way they were perfectly cut and how they looked perfectly well with his perfect hands. Damn, to be this perfect is distracting! He turned to look at Okina who had suddenly gone quiet.
"Whoa." Shiro said. Ten jugs of sake! That orgy didn't so sound preposterous now…
"And what is your bet, Hiko-sama." Okon asked, her eye brows slightly raised.
"That the boys will end up on their knees, begging for mercy. Or at the very least, forgiveness."
"Starting with your baka-deshi?" Okina couldn't help but taunt.
"Unfortunately, you cannot teach innate charm and intelligence, only sword-skills. But you would know that, wouldn't you Okina? Seeing that you've failed to learn that from your master too?"
"Why you..." Okina tried to jump at him and proceeded to pretend that someone was holding him back.
"Oh, Hiko-sama, we think that's absolutely true. Ten jugs of sake for us too!" Okon and Omasu said sounding like a chorus of birds all twittering excitedly.
"Traitor!" Shiro said in a low voice.
"Surely, you must be joking?" Okina declared in disbelief.
"Make that twenty jugs then." Hiko said eyeing Okina, "Come now, what's the matter? Can't pay up for twenty jugs?"
"Fine! Twenty jugs of sake... I'm betting that the girls would be the first to admit their fault!" Okina declared pounding heavily on the table.
"Twenty for me too!" Shiro announced. "I'm in it for the boys! Er, men, I mean, as well!"
Forty jugs of sake to the winning team. Damn. Whoever the winner is, there would be some major hang over to be reckoned with. Shiro wished it would be him. Kami, please let him win.
"Oh, Shiro, dumb loyalty would get you nowhere." Omasu admonished him, lightly patting him in the back.
"It's true. Why not let Okina take all the loss?" Okon added in a whisper. "It would serve him right for insulting our Hiko-sama!"
"It's not dumb!" Shiro argued back fiercely.
"Boy," Hiko said turning to him, his first time of ever giving him the attention, "with my baka deshi, I am assuring you... you're going down." And with a flick of his wrist, an intricate footwork and body coordination (practiced for years) Hiko wordlessly turned away, his heavy cloak billowing against the wind.
"Freak!" Okina shouted as soon as Hiko was out of earshot. He then turned to his loyal spies, "No more children's game. This is a new battle. One that I would surely win!" He glared at Okon and Omasu and puffed his rib encased chest, bones jutting out in sharp relief in his old shirt and imitated Hiko's dramatic turn and the small flap of cloth at his back... well, flapped proudly behind him.
Let the games begin!
End Notes: And because this is such a... well, I don't know how else to describe this chapter, (weird, a total waste? What the hell were you thinking chapter?) I decided to post it with Chapter 12... back to the couples. I thought I'd receive less threats if I had this is accompanied with a non-filler chap. So, uhm.. I made Shiro into a semi-hentai and made Okina and Hiko squabble endlessly (although I think I could have written those parts a wee bit better... oh well...) and then there's Okon and Omasu who I just can't seem to get their characters right... all in all, I pretty much sum up this chapter as "The Chapter Where No One Is In Character" of maybe "A Chapter That Me Hopes You All Forget Soon" Hahaha... But please, do leave a review for this one... I'm working on these characters because I have a little plot brewing inside my head and I though I'd practice writing them here at Mismatched. Well, now, enough of my ever-senseless ramblings. On with chapter 12 shall we?