Hints at mild slash !
MAJOR BLONDE BASHING !!!!
Help I'm A Fish !!!!!...........part 2
It was late the next morning when Zero, finally got up, and started his day. After several hours in the bathroom, he began to make his way over to X's.
THAM!!
Zero turned as he heard a door slammed as hard as it could be shut. A young woman, about early thirties was walking out of X's room.
"Excuse me Miss.." Zero started.
The woman turned and screamed a blue streak at Zero that caused the red hunter to blush.
Zero stood dumbfounded watching her walk away. "I don't like her" he finally decided.
X's door slowly opened, and the blue armored robot walked out rubbing his hips , a grimace on his face.
"Oh hi Zero" X groaned by way of greeting. Zero raised an eyebrow at his friends current state.
"Dare I ask?"
"She tried to take off my pants.." X blushed., as he rubbed his legs.
Zero's brows furrowed "...your not wearing pants"
"I know that!!" X growled. He and all the other robot's technically didn't wear pant's , his blue boots and leggings were his legs. One couldn't take them off. Unless you removed his leg.
"She seemed a little upset" Zero shrugged .
"She was" X commented dryly. " you should have seen her face when she realized that I had no........um .......extra features " X ducked his head down. Zero let a quick laugh out, as he and X started for the training room.
"Ya know I always wondered why they never gave us a....you know.....down there. I mean it's like they made us bloody Ken and Barbie dolls. Wonderfully detailed face and body, then they get below the belt they just sorta la la la . As long as the legs work that's fine.
"Zero. I really don't wanna have this discussion." X sighed grabbing a towel and walking into the showers.
"I'm serious... don't you find it a little creepy to have nothing there?"
"Well maybe.."
Wouldn't you like to have a. whopping big..."
"Zero!!!"
"It'd certainly be a lot more interesting around here" Zero smirked eyeing the other hunters in the shower.
"Aggghhh , Zero , your grossing me out!!" X cried flinging the towel around him and going to his locker.
"Ok ok, but you know to be politically correct your not actually Mega man....your Mega it" Zero grinned walking beside him to their lockers.
"Will you shut up!!" X snapped, his nerves were starting to fray.
"No" Zero laughed hopping up on to the bench. "And let's see there's Proto-it , your brother. But not really your brother more like a gender non specific relation."
"Zero please knock it off" X rubbed his temples in a vain attempt to stop the head ache he could feel starting.
" and Flash it and Metal it...and Clown it. Woah! That one has a chilling eeriness to it. Like some creepy storyteller would write a story about an evil clown and call it...well......It"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up !!!!X put his hands over his ears, and began to yell "I'm not listening...la la la la la ....I can't hear you...la la la la la . Somebody give me a gag anything... a....a sock even. Pleeeeeaaassssseee!!!!"
Zero jumped down from the bench " That's it!!!"
"What?" X took his hands from his ears.
"That's how you got your name!!! X!!!" Zero beamed " you know, your not a boy , and your not a girl. No gender at all so they named you X!!"
"And it's apparent how you got your name !" X said through clenched teeth.
"How?"
"Obviously from the score of your I.Q. test !!" X , started back down the hall,
"Oh that was cold X.............................Wait I got it. !!" Zero took off after him. " You're a porn bot, and your names just an abbreviation for XXX.!!! oh ya!!!, come're you hunk a bot!!!" Zero cried slapping X on the butt.
The blue hunter froze for a moment before turning to his blonde companion "Ok Zero, despite what you think, butt slapping still hasn't caught on as an acceptable male greeting"
"But that's the joy of it X...we're not males ha ha " Zero laughed
"Zero, Arrrghghgghghghhgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! X took off down the hall, the crazy red robot trailing after.
"Come on X, sing with me...
I'm an AI
an artificial guy,
you know I'll fail ya
ain't got no genitalia...."
"Zero shut up!" X screamed.
"I've got plastic hair,
and just a lump down there.
Lack of manhood,
can't do what a man should.
"Arrghhghhhhhh!!!!!" X took off towards his room.
******************************
"You'll love it here pumpkin.." Cain said. He was in the process of showing his daughter the base, when X came racing around the corner.
"Ah X, " Cain smile, "You're just the bot I was looking for, this....?" Cain looked up as Zero rounded the corner.
"I'm a guy, and I'm shy...but I guess you know why. Cause, Capcom, what a bomb....I've been neutered...I....OH hi Doc.."
"Good morning Zero," Cain cut in, "As I was saying , this is my daughter Brady"
Hey Broadzilla !!" Zero whooped.
"Zero !!" X snapped, as Cain gave them both a look. "Um....we already met." X grimaced.
"Ain't she the bimbo that tried to bang ya? " Zero blurted.
"Oohhh" X groaned, covering his face. // Somebody kill me now !! //
"Zero !!" Cain snapped, "Watch your tongue when you are around my little angel."
Zero went to protest but the death glare X was giving him held him back.
Hmmph....ahem anyway" Cain huffed turning back to X, "I was looking to inform you that your family will be arriving in the morning."
"Oh....Ok" X nodded.
"And.." The Dr. added "I'm afraid to say we have a slight problem on our hands"
"Hmmm problem" Zero perked up.
"Yes " Cain continued " with my daughter, and your family....I'm afraid that there aren't enough rooms. You and Zero are going to have to share a room for a few days.
"WHAT!!" X cried "NO Way !!!"
"X, Zero is your friend surely it's not that bad"
"He's a slob...I....no way !!!"
"X..." Cain sighed pulling the boy over to one corner. "Why don't you wanna share a room with Zero, he's one of the greatest hunters.You can spend some quality time with him. Learn all his vast knowledge..."
Ya, well that'll kill about five minutes." X sulked.
"X.." Cain threatened. "Think of the meaningful conversations you two could have."
X looked over to where Zero, was attempting to belch the alphabet, for Brady.
"He's stupid !!" X whispered.
"He's not stupid...X... he's a blonde.." Cain reasoned. Watching as Zero flexed his muscles, jumping around before getting tangled in his pony tail and falling to the ground.
X gave the Dr. a sad look.
"Ok" Cain sighed. "He's a stupid blonde.."
"Is there any other kind?" X rolled his eyes.
"Daddy !! You didn't say anything about sharing a room." Brady cried. " I want my own room.
"Now Brady, you'll have your own bed honey" Cain said. "And Iris and Alia are very friendly."
"NO ! I want my own room. !!" She pouted.
"But the others need them dear." Cain sighed.
"Why !...their just robots. Robots don't need beds!!" She declared.
"Obviously humans don't need brains . They never seem to come with one" Zero spat back at her.
"Alright stop it all of you !!" Cain shouted. "Brady, Alia and Iris, will take you to your room, and show you around" he said indicating the two female reploids that had just shown up."And please be nice.." he added as she was lead away.
He turned to the remaining two. "X, Zero, I suggest that you decide who's room your staying in and get settled.
"No contest there Doc. Come on X, You're gonna love my place." Zero beamed.
"Abandon all hope ye who enter here ..." X mumbled.
****************************************************
X stood staring at the two contents of Zero's fridge.
"..Zero..?" X gulped. "How long has that can of tuna been sitting there?"
"I dunno, about a month I guess?" The blonde boy shrugged.
"Oh my God !!!! Zero it's open !!!!...............it's green !!!!" X cried.
"So..."
"Tuna is not supposed to be green!!!"
"Really?"
X, gave him a stare, before moving to the only other available source of food. A carton of milk.
Grabbing a glass, he tipped the carton only to have a large yellow glob of gunk fall into the glass.
"EEEEEaaaGKKKKK....Zero!!!" X shrieked "Forget Mavericks, How the hell have you survived this long without killing yourself....."
How so X..?" Zero asked.
X turned to him, holding up the carton, "This Milk has past it's expiry date.
Zero took the carton from his blue companion. "Hmm lets see. March 18........March 18 when, that does me no good, I need a year !!
"I'd say it was somewhere around 500 bc." X growled, "Never mind I'm going to go have a bath.
X looked warily into the bathroom before entering, there were various bottles and gels of all sorts lining the selves. He felt lost in here.
"Let's see hair gel, skin softener, nail gel , foot gel, aloe, rose oil, raspberry lotion, goats milk foam bath, facial mud pack, moisturizer,..........oh for the love of God !!!" X cried "I just need a nice normal, bar of soap!!" He glanced around the room in vain. "Zero !!! Where's the bloody soap !!"
"In the soap dish Duh!!" Zero, snapped sticking his head in "Right there!" He pointed to a little block by the bath.
X picked it up and examined it carefully. "Zero..?"
"Yes..?"
"It's pink..."
"Yes"
"Zero...?"
"Yes..?"
"It's in the shape of a bunny..."
"I know , cute huh?" Zero smirked, as he shut the door.
X stared a few more moments,
// The great Maverick slayer washes the blood of his slain from his hands......with pink bunny soap.........................who would have thought.?//
X sighed getting into the shower, he scrubbed the soap into a lather over him, as he thought to himself .
// Somehow I get the feeling that this Christmas is gonna be hell........oh yes...I.... ..what the ! //
(Sniff , sniff)
ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is Lilac scented soap !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ZERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
********************************
"ZzzZZZZzzzZZ!!!"
"Un...why does he have to snore?" Zero groaned, attempting to bury his head into the pillow. He glance over at X's bed.
"Unnggg.." he gagged looking at the huge puddle covering a good portion of the blue hunters pillow case. " no wonder he's always thirsty, he loses it all at night in drool fuel"
"ZzzzzzzzzZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZ"
"MMM I can't take this any more " Zero grabbed one of his slippers and threw it at the snoring bot."
"Zz..Z..snort..zz,,,un..mmm...what?" X groggily opened his eyes.
"Stop snoring Damnit!!" Zero snapped
"I don't snore!" X cried.
"You do!!..admit it!"
"I don't..(yawn..)..zz. SnoreZZzzz"
"Your snoring right now..and your awake !!!! Zero growled.
"Oh Zero, stop whining,..." X yawned "......I was having a really good dream.."
"Of what, pretending you were a vacuum ...!"
"Ha ha.." X replied dryly. "Don't you ever have dreams about things you'd really like.?
"No.." Zero said " I just sleep, now shut up."
"Oh come on you must..." X grinned, " Like dreaming about being rich or famous......of falling in love with that special someone...you know, one of those dreams that gives you that tingly feeling all over."
"Hmm...........Actually" Zero smirked " I find myself dreaming more and more about gouging out your eyes, tearing your head off and wrapping it in duct tape to use as a bowling ball.
"Yikes What a nightmare!" X cringed.
"One of my greatest fantasies actually.........."
"What !!" X squeaked.
" It would stop you from asking me all those stupid questions of yours." Zero laughed.
X glared at him, "Ha ha ha , very funny..." he snapped.
"Oh X don't get mad..." Zero laughed.
The two of them lay in silence for several minutes until Zero spoke up.
"Ya know X, you telling me about your little dreams of bunnies, and flowers and fluffy clouds really don't mean dick all to me..." he said. " I mean you're a dude right?"
"Yes Zero" X gave an irritated sigh.
"Well, come on then, ..why don't you ever tell me about your sexual fantasies ?"
" Well, cause, thankfully..... you're never in them" X said.
"Oh...? A good looking, and incredibly well built guy like myself, and you don't find me attractive...??.." Zero stammered getting worked up.. " I... ..b but X come on.. Surely I'm somewhat attractive to you...right....I...mean ..I'm irresistible.. ..I'm the Man !!"
X smirked from where he lay " No gender Zero remember ?"
Zero gaped "But ya.....but...but.."
"Goodnight.."
"X...X wake up.....oh come on.........nobody falls asleep that fast...X !!"
To be continued..............................